a cool guy plenty women find appealing can mingle and shamelessly flirt with and even casually drop about how much he'd love to do her "jokingly". Someone less appealing can't even get away with merely saying a woman is attractive without getting threat profiled.

its not that the former politely asked for "consent" while the latter ignored her boundaries - the cool dude initiating a uninvited hookup conversation is boundary testing just as much as an "nice guy" making a polite pass.

so whenever someone brings up this "the difference is consent" argument, keep in mind, every initial pass is technically an uninvited, "incorrect" intrusion or a boundary test because where the dude has to approach, flirt, or make a pass before receiving explicit consent, but only with the guy she doesn't find attractive it feels like a "violation".