Last night, things were going pretty well. I was steadily building kino, was given a real kiss before leaving to work (none of that pecking bs that I've been receiving for a while). I escalated it a little grabbing her and pushing back onto the kitchen counter, giving and even deeper kiss as my hands slid down to her ass. No resistance like I had expected, then I left for work. Come home in the evening and after taking care of home responsibilities spend a little time with her, talking in the bed. I escalate until I end up on top of her slightly grinding, giving her fuck me eyes, talking less and a little deeper. Well it backfired. She asked me if I could stop what I was doing, and that I was acting like a creepy old man. This stung pretty hard since this has been my first big turndown for sex since RP and that I now know it wasn't that I was being creepy, it's that she didn't want to fuck me and that made it feel creepy to her. I managed to brush it off though and not get defensive or act hurt, rolled off of her and continued talking a little bit before going to sleep (if this was months ago I probably would have argued or something stupid).

I couldn't fall asleep so after 15 minutes or so I got up to go to the bathroom. She asked what I was doing and I told her I couldn't sleep so I was going to go jerk off. This was out of the norm for us, as usually she just let's me jerk off beside her while she watches YouTube videos or something, which always felt so shitty to me and I don't want to do that anymore. She asks me why I can't just jerk off in the bed beside her. I told her I'm not comfortable with that while she just lays there having nothing to do with it. She says it's weird and that she's uncomfortable with it getting visibly angry. I told her I'm not going to just jerk off next to her while she lays there disinterested, shut the bathroom door and sat there for a while ( I tried to jerk off but I just couldn't get it going) I leave the bathroom and shit hits the fan. She tells me I made things weird and I should be disgusted etc. I reply with some AA and AM not acting hurt or bothered by her comments. She tells me she's tired of the sarcasm and that she's unhappy with me, relationship is horrible, doesn't want to be with me etc. I reply calmly and confidently that I will be loving and caring towards those who want to be in my life, and for those who don't then that's their loss. She rolls over and starts cuddling me and tries a more sad serious approach rather than angry saying "please, if you need to jerk off do it beside me" she's fighting back a giggle realizing how ridiculous it sounds and I giggle back. She tries again and I'm laughing at how much I'm noticing her struggling between overt and covert ways to make me submit. She laughs but immediately snaps out of it again this time, rolls over mad and continues with the barrage of insults. I ignore it and go to sleep.

The next day, she leaves for work, and I have a job interview with a new job (trying to make more money and stop being so passive with my life). She texts me talking somewhat normally, and I apologize specifically for laughing in her face when she was trying to be serious (I know...I'm still learning). After finishing the interview she asks me about the job, I tell her it's probably going to suck after learning what the company actually does (direct care with disabled people) and since she's currently working a similar job she tells me not to do it because I'll hate it. I try some fogging, tell her I believe her and that I'm sure it will suck, but I'm going to give it a shot because the worst thing that can happen is I make a little extra money for a few weeks and if I don't like it at that point then I can just leave and continue my current job. She gets mad and is demanding that I don't take the job. In comes the rest of it. "You don't listen to me" "you keep touching me lately and making me uncomfortable" "you're disgusting". I AA and say yes I want to make more money and that's absolutely disgusting. She stops replying. Fast forward some time, she comes home and immediately apologizes, and says that she was just uncomfortable with the idea of me potentially quitting my current job for something I would hate and leave. I tell her don't worry, I got this. And so concludes the current shitstorm. If could get some criticism and comments I would appreciate it. Am I going rambo? Pushing too hard too fast? Regardless, I'm starting to feel like I'm learning, and even if it's temporary and I'm shitting the bed, I feel more confident in my ability to be outcome independent even if it hurts. I think I'm going to retract some of my time and attention the next few days though as I don't want her to think an apology just makes everything better. I want to be cared about and treated like a human being, and I'm not going to ask for it. Does this seem like an appropriate way to continue from here? (Other than the obvious NEXT answers I'm going to receive)