I am pretty new here, working my way trough posts and am reading nmmng. I am blown away by how similar i feel to the nice guy being described in that book.
I estimate its a greater chance i have to leave my wife as a part of this journey, than for it to turn to the better. Being less nice guy will probably anyway be good for me.
I have worries that i wont recognize or act on that its time for me to leave her. Right now i feel really trapped within her frame and emotionally abused. I have almost no contact with friends because she hates my friends and gets angry if i want to spend time with them. A bit the same with my family. She nags all day about her problems and does a good job making her problems mine, and in general telling me when and what to do. «Get me my bag from the car, i forgot it». «Now we are going to clean; you do downstairs, i do upstairs». Shit i am such a pussy. Cant talk to anyone about it either, i mean «my Wife is not nice to me» isnt very manly. How cant i stand up to my Wife? I guess it didnt happen over night. But slowly Step by Step over years. In the end i went along with so much of her shit that i lost myself. She uses anger, shouting, treaths etc to Get What she wants. I remember one of the first times i saw these traits were when she was studying. I wanted to go out with a friend, but she wanted me to help her with an assignment. She trough a glass truough the appartment and screamed to Get me to help her. Unfortunately i did help her instead of going out with my friend, and ever since and here i am stucked many years later.
Sorry for rambling. I needed to let it out. Is there hope?