714,030 posts

I dont understand

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April 17, 2018
8 upvotes

Been skimming some red pill material for awhile and i just dont understand. Me and my wife have arguments over some of the stuff you guys discuss every day, but its not very frequent. Im not in super great shape any more (was in Army 4 years) or super dominating or go out and flirt with girls on the street or any of that jazz. Im not an overdominating presence but definetly dont consider myself "Beta". Bottom line is im honestly curious as to WHY i see so many people diving headfirst into such hardcore changes in their relationship, i see lots of advice given and im wondering does this work for people? I understand every marriage has a different dynamic but applying some of this advice would surely be suicide to their relationship for some right? Not being an ass im truley curious, maybe my marriage just isnt at a point where changes like this would help any?


Post Information
Title I dont understand
Author bumholebruiser
Upvotes 8
Comments 83
Date 17 April 2018 04:09 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/204606
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/8cxpxh/i_dont_understand/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
betathe red pill
Comments

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (0 children) | Copy

OP can check out /r/purplepilldebate if he wants to jerk himself off and get an audience for it.

Sidebar reading, TRP/MRP. If you have specific questions, or can provide value beyond what is there, please do. Take a few days and figure out which way you're going on this.

Also, I doubt you are army, if you were, you'd have been surrounded by the worst examples of women and men, and not in your fantasy world now.

[–]CaptJohnLukeDiscard18 points19 points  (10 children) | Copy

When I was four years out from college baseball, I would have asked the same question. I was still in 'decent' shape but was getting fatter every year. I still got laid like tile but it was diminishing every year. I wouldn't have considered any of this stuff to be reasonable or accurate.

Fast forward about a decade. I kept getting fatter. I started getting lazier re household stuff. I paid less attention to how I dressed. I basically became a lazy slob... a beta. And guess what? My wife still "loved" me but I didn't get laid like tile any more. We started to argue about sex, passion, why she didn't feel the same 'feelz' that she used to... etc.

That's what drove me here. Now that I've been here a little more than a year, I can report that I've gotten in much better shape, owned the finances, owned the household stuff, and am captaining with a clear vision.

And after implementing all this "hardcore change" into our relationship, my wife is 100x happier. That wasn't the goal... but it is a nice side effect.

So to answer your question, I would suggest you look at your current trajectory and see if you could possibly fall into what I fell into. Keep in mind that of all the people on "My 600lb Life", every single one of them got fat the same way... one pound at a time. Going from alpha to beta is the same way. Going from "great marriage!" to "why won't she put out with a smile on her face anymore?" is the same way (most of the time).

Think about it.

[–]bumholebruiser[S] 2 points3 points  (9 children) | Copy

You sir have the best answer so far and have stated exactly what ive wanted to know going in.

[–]SeamusAwl8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

I understand every marriage has a different dynamic but applying some of this advice would surely be suicide to their relationship for some right?

It would seem that way. My life is much much better because of it, and my marriage is stronger than ever. My biggest take way is that being a man is a shit ton better than being a manchild.

maybe my marriage just isnt at a point where changes like this would help any?

Its not for your marriage. It is for you to improve your life and get the most out of it with or without your wife. Yes, the point is to get more sex (preferably with your wife). But it enhances sooo much more than just your bedroom.

[–]bumholebruiser[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I like this answer.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

i see lots of advice given and im wondering does this work for people?

Yes and it has for centuries. For my own personal experiences I knew PUAs before they became a thing. In college my roommate was 100% a PUA. He did everything that is talked about for much the same reasons. This remember was even before Mystery and all that became a thing. Not to mention my own upbringing that I completely ignored.

I understand every marriage has a different dynamic but applying some of this advice would surely be suicide to their relationship for some right?

No. If your marriage blows up due to red pill it likely wasn't going to survive at all any how. Generally speaking most men have women that want to be there. It's just a matter of bringing he woman along. Or allowing her time to adjust to the new you. Some guys aren't willing to wait and blow it up early or...go Rambo.

Then there are the few that did have the wrong one to begin with and no amount of red, green, orange pill is going to change that.

Not being an ass im truley curious, maybe my marriage just isnt at a point where changes like this would help any?

now we get to the point of your question. You value your marriage. You like her. You make mention of your fitness level. Why? To lower yourself to us? Why was that detail even important to bring up? See we reveal a lot about ourselves when we write and we have no frame.

there's more going on here and you are testing the waters. I was like that. I spent a lot of time in DBR. Saw the sidebar where it warned me to stay away from Red Pill. So yeah...I went. I was like DUFUQ? These guys are nuts. But as the weeks went on I learned more and more. I saw what would work and wouldn't

MRP is a tool box. Not everything is going to apply AND more importantly it's about finding your masculinity. Not about your marriage at all. There a couple guys here that came to MRP not because of sex or women at all. For other areas of their life where they realized that they were in opposition to what a man should be.

At best you are what they call a Sigma. You and no one else can explain why you function as a man. There is some mystical energy that surrounds Sigmas. They get hot women. have seemingly productive lives and live completely in there frame. Yet the one characteristic of Sigmas is that they truly DGAF. To a fault even.

At worse you are a beta who is touching his toe in the water. Looking for some welcoming arms to bring you into the fold and make you realize what you are missing.

Been skimming some red pill material for awhile and i just don't understand

You have no reason to commit and no reason to examine yourself.

[–]RedPillCoach2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

If your marriage blows up due to red pill it likely wasn't going to survive at all any how.

Most would "survive" on life support, trickle sex, and anger.

However, I hate that reasoning. That is what marriage counselor's do to justify their terrible record. We should be better than that.

The truth is, MRP has blown up more than a few marriages. Guys wake up and sometimes they lose their mind. Sometimes they have that midlife crisis, buy a motorcycle and start hitting on the young uns.

I don't think it is due to any "tactics" but to the awakening. I mean when you wake up you no longer tolerate disrespect, harpy complaining, and you stand up for yourself like a man. You also see your wife without the rose colored glasses.

If the wife wants a punching bag and beta dough boy to beat around and you suddenly decide that you are Albert Alpha I hope you can see how MRP might upset her carefully laid plans- and thus lead to divorces.

Also, lots of guys who have trouble don't get the concept of Reddit. It is a forum and message board. There are trolls, morons, fools, and some good advice. The moderators try to limit some of the bad advice but ultimately you have to pick the good advice. As I said above, Children with Dynamite.

However, by far the most common cause of MRP divorces is the Husband wakes up, goes through the Dread levels, and decides that he really can do better than his fat, bitchy, sex denying wife. That is the biggest threat MRP represents to marriages- men awakening and saying enough!!

[–]dcapt462 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Lift. Be more Social. Get Shit Done. Have a mission and work towards it. This is hardcore shit.

[–]RedPillCoach-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

No you can only do that as a "last ditch effort."

[–]dcapt460 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I like how you got the sarcasm.

[–]SepeanRed Beret5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Went from dead bedroom on the brink of divorce to daily blowjobs. This shit works.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockChief Autist in Charge5 points6 points  (7 children) | Copy

“is im honestly curious as to WHY i see so many people diving headfirst into such hardcore changes in their relationship”

Because most of us from dead bedrooms were tired of not getting any pussy.

[–]SeamusAwl2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Because most of us from dead bedrooms were tired of not getting any pussy.

Yup. And when we finally are gifted it, it would be far from enthusiastic.

[–]bumholebruiser[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

I feel so bad reading some of the posts here, i can understand the dead bedroom deal, i suppose the change in mindset and for most on here body as can change outlook.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockChief Autist in Charge9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy

At first, it was about getting more pussy. After awhile, you realize it is so much more than that. I won’t give the answer away, see for yourself.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Missing a faggot in there....

Faggot.

[–]Iammrp22 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

That was dumb

[–]BobbyPeru0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Because most of us from dead bedrooms were tired of not getting any pussy.

I don’t know if this is true... there’s never been a survey on it. My sex life never died before coming around. I think different people come for different reasons. I came her to become awesome.

[–]Two_kids_in_a_coat0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, I always got laid but my marriage still sucked and I was a shell of the man I should be.

[–]2ndalRed Beret1 point2 points  (18 children) | Copy

Been skimming some red pill material for awhile and i just dont understand.

there's your problem. stop skimming, fuck head, and apply yourself.

you found yourself here for a reason. only you can decide how or even if you need to improve yourself or your relationship. no need to stick around if not.

[–]bumholebruiser[S] -4 points-3 points  (17 children) | Copy

Hmmm, maybe you should save your "fuckhead" for the mirror. Im asking an honest question. I actually found redpill through another sub.

[–]CaptJohnLukeDiscard5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Do yourself a favor and pretend everyone here is in the Army. You will get called faggot, fuckhead, autistic, etc. They are trying to shock you into paying attention. If your feelz get butthurt about the words that strangers on the internet use, r/thebluepill is always an option.

[–]2ndalRed Beret2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy

c'mon now why would I call this mirror a fuck head?

[–]MrChad_ThundercockChief Autist in Charge0 points1 point  (9 children) | Copy

Is your wife DTF? Your post has red flags of a dead bedroom: arguing with wife, out of shape, beta, etc.

Is that pussy on tap?

[–]bumholebruiser[S] 0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy

We have sex plenty for me 2-3 times a week. We argue about things but mainly money. I dont think im Beta, i could afford to lose a few pounds but im not a slob or anything and do work manual labor.

[–]SeamusAwl0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

We argue about things but mainly money.

Why? Being a man means you are the authority. She either respects that or she doesn't. If she doesn't, then you are no alpha. That may look mysogenistic, but someone has to lead and women typically do not like to be the one to lead in a relationship.

[–]matrixtospartanatLVRed Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

And when they do have to lead, they get bitter, resentful, and turn into harpy, shit-testing bitches.

[–]BostonBrakeJob0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

You good with the quality though?

More specifically, are you one of the guys sharing "I need to get a hooker so I can X,Y,Z her"? Or are you the guy chuckling at your buddies bc you do X,Y,Z with your girl on a Tuesday night?

[–]bumholebruiser[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Im 100% loyal no hookers or strange.

[–]SocialCupcake1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think you missed the point of his question.

[–]Iammrp20 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

He was asking do you feel satisfied with your wife? Are happy that your wife sexually pleases you or do you notice more and more you are day dreaming about what you wish you had.

[–]bumholebruiser[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

No the sex is great

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

We argue about things but mainly money. I dont think im Beta, i could afford to lose a few pounds but im not a slob or anything

Bingo - (1) Not in charge of the money --(2) I don't think I'm Beta --(3) Could afford to lose a few pounds

OP you are on the slippery slope already. You are here because things happen for a reason. Welcome. You have found a place that you need.

[–]FlyingSexistPig1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You don't have to be super dominant all the time. But when it's time to make the hard decision, you have to make it.

One of the big problems with men today, and I use that term loosely, is that they bought into the lie that men and women are equal in every way except the shape of their genitals.

In the matrix movie, you can take the blue pill and stay in fantasy land. The fantasy land is the land where men and women are identical except for their genitals. The red pill is coming to the realization that men and women do different things. Different factors drive mens' decisions than drive womens' decisions.

So, if you're being "the man" in your relationship, then you probably don't need to change anything.

I knew one old couple (80+ years old). She would write the checks to pay the bills, but he had to sign them. It was too much stress for her to deal with actually signing the check, and so she relied on him to do it. She had no problems organizing information and preparing it for him, but he had to be the one to sign the check.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (7 children) | Copy

what i'm hearing is this: "this stuff seems like dynamite. i'm not sure i should be playing with it."

son, marriage is the dynamite. this is simply how you handle it.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockChief Autist in Charge-1 points0 points  (6 children) | Copy

Yep.

When I read he argues with his wife, I cringed.

[–]bumholebruiser[S] 1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

Everybody argues sometimes and money is a pretty universal thing to argue about we get along fine and make a good team.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockChief Autist in Charge6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Gayest thing you said.

This is where I call you a faggot.

[–]TaipanshimshonRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

the family that cucks together huh?

[–]2ndalRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Everybody women argue[s]

[–]RedPillCoach0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Everybody argues sometimes

Nope. Try again. Everybody might get pissed sometimes, but not everybody is foolish enough to argue with a woman.

money

Money is a symptom, not a problem. You are at a computer and so I assume you are in the West where the poorest citizens have material affluence, gadgets, toys, and entertainment that the Kings and Queens of Europe could not have even imagined 100 years ago. You are far richer than Tsar Nicholas or the King of England just a century ago and you think the problem is money?

[–]bumholebruiser[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Your over-analyzing prof.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

Clearly you’re not drowning. Good for you. But for those who have tried every other approach and are still sinking, I’m sure they’re thinking: “hmmm, haven’t tried this “man-up” approach yet; what’s the worst that could happen? Either I’ll keep sinking and will eventually abandon this ship (I.e., this marriage) anyway, or something will change.”

[–]bumholebruiser[S] 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

Well thats a good answer, is it largely considered a "last ditch effort" ?

[–]CaptJohnLukeDiscard1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

No, it's considered manly and effective. It's just that modern society has brainwashed so many of us that we don't find this shit until we are desperately searching because our marriages aren't close to meeting our primal needs.

[–]the_grizzlebee1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It wasn't for me. I was taught a lot of this as a kid, by a pretty RP father. I rebelled against him in my 20's and went full disney. Jesus. Later in life I realized he was pretty much right about shit, and at some point stumbled into the literature. So my background is more of a "natural" who is now taking notes and staying sharp.

I look at my relationship a bit like a hot project car. I love it, it makes me feel good to have it, but it could always use some fresh spark plugs, an oil change, etc.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

No, not last ditch effort by any means. It wasn’t for me. But many men here stumble onto the red pill after years and years of bargaining, negotiating, counseling, choreplay, you name it. They initially reject the advice given here because it often contradicts their personality or what society has taught them. But it’s not only useful for those guys. It’s useful for newlyweds and everyone in between who want to keep attraction and sexual desire at its peak in their relationships.

[–]SeamusAwl0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Well thats a good answer, is it largely considered a "last ditch effort" ?

Honestly, It kind of was for me. I lurked reading and not getting it. Then one night during a typical blue-pilled dead bedroom style victim vomiting dialogue with the wife; it just clicked. My wife went from "oh great, here we go again" to "Oh shit, what just happened to him." Before that night I had talked to three lawyers and decided to have last attempt at good sex before pulling the the trigger on giving her the walking papers.

[–]bumholebruiser[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thank you for your honestly.

[–]RedPillCoach0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

last ditch effort

Some of the tactics can be seen as "last ditch." Dread Level 10, for example. Responding to Shit Tests is basic communication skills Red Pill style. What about getting in shape, lifting weights, and "being a strong masculine presence" suggests "last ditch effort?" MRP recommends you be the "Oak" tree in your relationship and that is all the way from the beginning, not 'last ditch.'

[–]TaipanshimshonRed Beret0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

WHY are YOU here?

[–]bumholebruiser[S] 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

Curiosity

[–]TaipanshimshonRed Beret0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

Huh.

well, then keep watching and stop asking questions. Bench warmers dont get to talk .

[–]bumholebruiser[S] -2 points-1 points  (4 children) | Copy

Suck my dick from the back ill say what i want to say, and most of the people commenting are actually answering my question so you can cut the cyber tough guy act.

[–]TaipanshimshonRed Beret4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

and here is where we have what is called a "loss of frame"

one simple ego poke and you are off and getting pissed. Hmmm

[–]The_LitzRed Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

The gold/money shot/real issue is always in the comments.

[–]TaipanshimshonRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

all I see is a child who just cried "no fair, the other boys are playing nice"

[–]Iammrp20 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You are clearly a titty baby and not in your own frame. Aka a faggot.

People here are doing what women do every day. Shit tests. You are failing.

[–]broneilbro0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I'll say I'm still growing but definitely seen changes in my attitude at work, in the gym, and overall life.

You cannot Rambo in, nor can you just put the tip in. You have to commit, make course corrections and work from there. It is difficult and the change is noticeable but it's better.

Today I did 10 to 1 rep sets of 185. It's not much but I was PR 185 before RP. I'm sitting at max 315 with goals of 400+ before I get back.

Would I have done that without RP prob not. Would I still be a fat(ter) bitch? Yup. Would I be less assertive, yup. And the list can go.

Note: I'm not where I want to be but I know where I need to go based of the blunt guidance from these gents.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Pretty sure it's clear you don't jump to the last rung on the dread ladder without moving up slowly and stopping where you need.

RP is just a tool set. Some people need an entire toptul 7 drawer trolley as they've got nothing. Other guys just needed to borrow a 10mm socket and then fuck off. So not every tool fits every situation.

IOW You don't read long posts about the success stories from the guys who come in... need a little work/shift, change for the better and find their happiness again and move along.

And if you come in from a bad place, it generally takes a lot of victim puking, soul punching from the vets, and publicly flailing around until something shakes out. Plus, some people just get it quicker than others and it depends.

So really, if one needs a few tweaks. What's there to really talk about?

And every g-d man in society could learn to apply STFU properly and enjoy his day a little better.

[–]gameoflibidos0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

How old are you, how long you been married, any kids?

Typically things slow down a bit right after marriage but still o.k. Then a kid... things really slow down... and then another kid and things almost stop... then 7 years in with 2 kids theres almost no sex and shes probably cheating on you.

That's the typical path of the sinking beta.

[–]bumholebruiser[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Married 7 years with 2 kids been together for 9. Im 25 years old. No foul play of any kind between me and my wife.

[–]FoxShitNasty830 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Who's that trip trapping over my bridge!

[–]DeeMooreDeeMarriet0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yep.

[–]DanG30 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

“Me and my wife have arguments over some of the stuff you guys discuss every day ...”

 

The trapper never “argues” with the prey as to the type of trap or bait the prey prefers.

[–]DeeMooreDeeMarriet0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That was a super duper super post. Just super. Woman.

[–]DeeMooreDeeMarriet0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Read thru them all. Don't know how you guys don't know this is a troll.

[–]RedPillCoach0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

does this work for people

Yes, especially in a dead bedrooms marriage. Later you have to change it up and provide more good feelz but starting out in a DB, yes, you have to do this and make dramatic changes to your relationship.

applying some of this advice would surely be suicide to their relationship for some

100% correct. MRP can be giving Dynamite to Children. You have to choose the advice that works for you and your relationship and nobody knows it all. This is not the Ms. Advice column or Ann Landers.

maybe my marriage just isnt at a point where changes like this would help

"It" works for DB marriages the best but any marriage can benefit from the man waking up and taking charge of his life and family.

[–]hack3ge0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

MRP turns beta boys into alpha demolition experts - just have to make sure you don't blow yourself up before you learn how to use the dynamite. TBH if you aren't willing to blow it all up you are just LARPing anyway.

OPs post makes me gag - its clear he isn't happy with himself but is too scared that if he makes changes he might lose his precious little princess and the nice safe, life he has built with her that she will get bored of.

Word of advice to OP, make the changes now before shit gets real hard and if not we will see you back here in 5 years or when you walk in on her and Chad. Might as well choke the pill down now...



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