Okay bear with me. Probably a victim puke so feel free to kick my ass.
Stats: 3 weeks active OYS MRP. 40 YO, married 18 years, 4 kids, 5’11” 170 lbs Lifting and looking good. Lost 14 pounds of fat by dumping sugar since November 1 Sidebar have read NMMNG, MMSLP, Sex God method, Pook, commandments of poon, Watched all of blue pill professors videos.
I’ve gone into a bit of my wife’s s sexual hang ups in the OYS thread recently and I’ll repost them here if they end up being relevant to this issue. But I’ll leave them out of the initial post for brevity.
In the past I have been a blue pill nice guy taking on ever increasing amounts of responsibility and housework to make everything perfect in a covert contract hoping to get laid. What a fool I have been.
I am still very much in the anger phase. At myself, the world, her, the time I’ve wasted etc. always have to keep that demon in check.
So last night I started my game early, had some great kino and banter. After the kids were down I specifically and directly put the moves on her and she reciprocated. We were headed to the bedroom.
This is probably where I screwed it up. She hadn't eaten yet due to late kid activities and she mentioned she wanted to have dinner first. I was the dumbass nice guy and agreed. I sat with her and purposely didn't touch the sink full of dishes. Instead I let her talk about her day and the kids etc rather than doing anything else.
I still struggled to tell myself to be outcome independent but I was still getting all the green lights. I think I did a good job of remaining aloof but letting her know that I still wanted to have sex.
She took her sweet time and then with a twinkle in her eye asked if I would please do the dishes. I suggested she do them with me offering a chance to keep talking and me to keep kino up and maybe some playful waterfighting etc.
She countered with a decisively non-covert contract. “How about you hurry and do the dishes while I go slip into something more comfortable?”
She NEVER wears lingerie. I LOVE lingerie and she knows it. So I tried to appear non-plussed and said okay but it better be that little white number I like.
She said that sounded cold and I told her even better.
She went to the bedroom and I hurriedly did the few dishes in the sink. My hamster rationalized that this wasn’t a covert contract this was an offer on the table. I was wrong.
When I got into the bedroom she was in her pajamas and not lingerie. I said nothing but she offered up again that she was cold and that these slip off easy anyway. I STFU.
Brushed my teeth and jumped into bed with her. She was looking at her Instagram feed but I put the moves on her and she put her phone down. Totally dead fish though. Didn’t reciprocate foreplay. I STFU and didn’t try to keep her awake, but did try to get her going probably 5-10 minutes more than I should have - sacrificing my own self respect.
I finally told myself outcome independence, didn’t get huffy. Just rolled over and went to sleep. Half of me thinks I should have got up and left. Just come into my work gym and lifted weights all night or something.
I got played.
How should I handle this? STFU? Confront her about it? Rambo wants to say fuck you I’m not doing the dishes again ever.