Started as a typical nice guy, default "yes" and 80% housework. Been running MAP a while(5 months)with success to me, but not so much my marriage. I've been working hard on improving not only my body and social life but my mind, most importantly. Wife and I have fun, but no sex. I've been plowing forward throughout the numerous rejections even though it does seem like my wife is more attracted to me and she should be, I'm a tall, good looking guy that takes care of shit. Our SMVs are similar but she's always thought she is a 10(more like 7), even though she has low self esteem and a craving for validation. Talks shit about how hot she is often.
Recently, my wife confronted me about wanting more attention, because I've been gradually pulling back with every rejection. Things have been flirty and fun between us otherwise. I met her confrontation with "I'm not interested in hanging out with someone who isn't interested in sex" and she hit me with all of her hamster logic and I didn't have a good fogging response at the time so I left.
The last few days I've been initiating and she says something similar to "you need to be nice to me" so I swat those with AA but she isn't having it so I get up and move on.
I'm also holding her more accountable around the house by being assertive when things need to be done but I've met much resistance as she likes to be in control. And she's taken offense to me saying "no" to her unreasonable compliance requests (I still do requests that make sense) and is holding on to those moments as a reminder where I was being "mean".
Anyways, I get this email earlier today.
I really want to talk to you, but you seem to not want to talk with me. So, I figured I would write it all down and maybe you will read it. I know you want only sex from me, but I need and expect more. I asked you on Sunday what you do when you are new in a relationship to make them feel special. You said nothing. Well, you dote on them. You smile when they talk. You act interested in the things they are interested in. You take time to be around them. You do things for them just because. Those are the things that I am missing. You have no desire to be around me and when you are it feels forced. You are a stranger to me. I don't know who you are anymore. If we were not married and we were just dating, I would not date you. You are not a nice person anymore. But we are married, and I made a commitment to you and I honor that commitment. You've told me what it was about me that you wanted me to fix and I have done everything I can do to become better and correct the things you saw wrong. They only thing I have not done is sex, but I don't have sex with strangers and that is what you are to me. If you do not want to (or willing to) become a husband to me then please let me go. I cannot live like this anymore.
Talk some sense into my situation and call me out however you see fit.
I believe she's a narcissist, her mom is very narcissistic in her actions and they butt heads over decisions constantly because they both think their world view is the only view. My wife also tries to degrade me(which I ignore) and occasionally tease me by flashing boobs, rubs dick, flashes ass but denies me in the initiation.