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Email from wife

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May 4, 2016
13 upvotes

Started as a typical nice guy, default "yes" and 80% housework. Been running MAP a while(5 months)with success to me, but not so much my marriage. I've been working hard on improving not only my body and social life but my mind, most importantly. Wife and I have fun, but no sex. I've been plowing forward throughout the numerous rejections even though it does seem like my wife is more attracted to me and she should be, I'm a tall, good looking guy that takes care of shit. Our SMVs are similar but she's always thought she is a 10(more like 7), even though she has low self esteem and a craving for validation. Talks shit about how hot she is often.

Recently, my wife confronted me about wanting more attention, because I've been gradually pulling back with every rejection. Things have been flirty and fun between us otherwise. I met her confrontation with "I'm not interested in hanging out with someone who isn't interested in sex" and she hit me with all of her hamster logic and I didn't have a good fogging response at the time so I left.

The last few days I've been initiating and she says something similar to "you need to be nice to me" so I swat those with AA but she isn't having it so I get up and move on.

I'm also holding her more accountable around the house by being assertive when things need to be done but I've met much resistance as she likes to be in control. And she's taken offense to me saying "no" to her unreasonable compliance requests (I still do requests that make sense) and is holding on to those moments as a reminder where I was being "mean".

Anyways, I get this email earlier today.

I really want to talk to you, but you seem to not want to talk with me. So, I figured I would write it all down and maybe you will read it. I know you want only sex from me, but I need and expect more. I asked you on Sunday what you do when you are new in a relationship to make them feel special. You said nothing. Well, you dote on them. You smile when they talk. You act interested in the things they are interested in. You take time to be around them. You do things for them just because. Those are the things that I am missing. You have no desire to be around me and when you are it feels forced. You are a stranger to me. I don't know who you are anymore. If we were not married and we were just dating, I would not date you. You are not a nice person anymore. But we are married, and I made a commitment to you and I honor that commitment. You've told me what it was about me that you wanted me to fix and I have done everything I can do to become better and correct the things you saw wrong. They only thing I have not done is sex, but I don't have sex with strangers and that is what you are to me. If you do not want to (or willing to) become a husband to me then please let me go. I cannot live like this anymore.

Talk some sense into my situation and call me out however you see fit.

I believe she's a narcissist, her mom is very narcissistic in her actions and they butt heads over decisions constantly because they both think their world view is the only view. My wife also tries to degrade me(which I ignore) and occasionally tease me by flashing boobs, rubs dick, flashes ass but denies me in the initiation.


Post Information
Title Email from wife
Author RPStruggle
Upvotes 13
Comments 79
Date 04 May 2016 03:38 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/207448
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/4hv14g/email_from_wife/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
MAPhamsterassertive
Comments

[–]jeeohnjones11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

"you need to be nice to me"

"Because you're my little beta orbiter"

tease me by flashing boobs, denies me in the initiation.

"Because I enjoy the validation of being found desirable, I just don't want to actually have sex with you because you're gross and creepy. Dont touch me. Just tell me I'm pretty. OK you can fuck off now. Thank God I pulled a new excuse not to have sex with you, out of my ass. You're a stranger. LOL"

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

I remember now, you built the deck but she thinks you're a dick cuz you didn't want to fetch her wallet from the car. Just so you know with absolute certainty, let me tell you that her behavior is total bullshit.

What are you getting from this relationship with a woman so lacking in sincerity and decency that she keeps you on a starvation diet and then openly tries to torment you?

If it's not already, get your shit together so you can find something better. You can hardly do worse.

[–]sexyshoulderdevil75% Liquid Sarcasm8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

My wife also tries to degrade me(which I ignore) and occasionally tease me by flashing boobs, rubs dick, flashes ass but denies me in the initiation.

Oh, she's a pill isn't she. As far as I'm concerned, you have a rather simple gal on your hands. She "claims" to want all this soft goopy stuff but those type of actions means she's dying to be your little slut assuming you can prove you're worth it. Once you break through the main event and prove you're her Chad, I think you'll be in for a wild ride.

Ignore the email.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

The one who cares less wins.

On this journey you have to be willing to let it all blow up. She's pulling you back in.

[–]Chump_No_More4 points5 points  (11 children) | Copy

Been looking at your previous posts... there's a lot going on here.

What level of dread do you think you're at?

Well, you dote on them. You smile when they talk. You act interested in the things they are interested in. You take time to be around them. You do things for them just because. Those are the things that I am missing.

Is this true? If so, then you're doing it wrong. You need to inject some fun, positive energy and emotional connection into the marriage... at least until you get to a high dread level and you're not there yet. You, won't be until you kill the butt hurt and start actually passing the shit/comfort tests. Of course, you keep 'doing you' and living your life, that doesn't change, but you have to give her some reason to not go back to her affair partner to get the passion and excitement that she craves. Women want the 'rollercoaster'... if she's not getting it from you, she'll go elsewhere.

Does she initiate any affection/attention independently, on her own accord? If not, then she's still trying to control the relationship and pull you back into her frame with guilt... this is their 'goto' form of manipulation.

There must be some reciprocity in attention or affection, otherwise you've got a vicious cycle of tit-for-tat and negative energy that's swirling straight down the abyss.

I have done everything I can do to become better and correct the things you saw wrong.

Any truth to this?

They only thing I have not done is sex, but I don't have sex with strangers and that is what you are to me.

Ok, we all know this is bullshit. You weren't getting sex before you started setting boundaries and you're still not getting any now. But she was giving her attention (maybe more?) to her emotional affair partner. WTF? This is just hamstering... move along.

My wife also tries to degrade me(which I ignore) and occasionally tease me by flashing boobs, rubs dick, flashes ass but denies me in the initiation.

Look, I may not be the best guy here to give advise for your circumstance because of similar personal experience and my hard line on cheating but this would be my bottom-line on your situation...

What you do know is she was inappropriate and unfaithful, has not fully committed to the marriage and putting real effort into it even though she begged you to keep her, her actions show no remorse, and she's an entitled, manipulative, and malicious bitch.

I would cut your losses, dump her, become fucking awesome, and then (in due time) find a woman who is worthy of that awesomeness.

[–]ImprovingMan1 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy

I just read the previous posts. Given your age and your growing value, you need to seriously think about what she is adding to your life. It doesn't seem like much.

If you blew up her EA, she might have anger about that. Her dopamine hits are gone and she might be depressed. She sounds like a very unhappy person and if she had a mom like that, she might need a lot of therapy. Read about Borderline Personality Disorder and see if that might fit. A lot of people get thrown into the narcissist category but are actually BPD. Her controlling nature, insults, and EA might all be a part of it.

How long do you plan on living like this? It sounds like you probably aren't engaging her enough and are coming off as grumpy if you don't get any. I could be wrong but it seems like that's what she would say. On my side, it seems like this is a huge control issue for her. If she is like this now, what will her behavior be in 10 years? And do you want to be around for that. She sounds pretty miserable. Part of it is on you but she clearly has some issues outside of that.

[–]RPStruggle[S] 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

Surprisingly, she's fun and flirty most of the time. Outbursts aren't common with her.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Yeah, that's the worst part.

She can, but chooses not to. she's already playing chicken with you.

[–]RPStruggle[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

About an hour after the email she texts me making plans for next weekend with the family that effect the long term. We are moving soon.

Anyways, that right there tells me the entire email is manipulation BS, considering she's interested in continuing forward, eager about it nonetheless.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

That is a green flag. Long term planning is often the first thing to go on a checked out relationship

[–]Chump_No_More1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Agreed and Stone's on point... this is not a woman who's going anywhere.

There's an element of increasing desperation and she's ratcheting up the pressure to pull you back to her frame and be her beta-orbiting, draft-horse.

Do not respond. Stay on target (May the 4th be with you) and add some positive energy into your interactions with her.

You have some legitimate reasons to be furious with her. The slow slide of the marriage was substantially your doing (beta behavior, lack of leadership), but her affair levels the playing field a bit. If she's not bringing anything to the table after her 'shenanigans' then she's equally culpable and needs to step it up also. DO NOT give her a pass on her contributions to repairing the marriage. Go by what she does, if she's not engaged or invested, it's time to eject... you can't make her want it, you can only influence yourself.

Also, Kill the butt-hurt.

[–]NiftyDolphinRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That's her working push/pull on you.

[–]RPStruggle[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Is this true? If so, then you're doing it wrong. You need to inject some fun, positive energy and emotional connection into the marriage... at least until you get to a high dread level and you're not there yet. You, won't be until you kill the butt hurt and start actually passing the shit/comfort tests.

I'm pretty upbeat but I need to bring more positivity.

Does she initiate any affection/attention independently, on her own accord? If not, then she's still trying to control the relationship and pull you back into her frame with guilt... this is their 'goto' form of manipulation.

Rarely.

Any truth to this?

50% maybe?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Remember, upbeat for those that bring value to your life.

you aren't a monkey enteraining everyone, but a fun guy people want to hang around

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

No.

Others don't dictate your mood. If she wants to be cunty and miserable, that's her problem, not yours. You are still the fun, upbeat guy you always are. Even to her. You remove your time and attention, but remain upbeat and fun.

Let her wallow in her misery and see just how much fun she's missing out on by being a bitch.

[–]RPStruggle[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

What level of dread do you think you're at?

5, but Dread Level 1 needs much more mastery.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (1 child) | Copy

Ooh, sounds like someone has a main event coming up! Take this next part as my experience, use at your own discretion.

Mine was very similar, though it was a text, not an email. (well, several actually)

But do you see that shit? That's emotional engagement. She overloaded with the feels right now, and cannot process. If you have your shit together, and are leading your life, she'll blow up, youll throw a little validation out there, and a lifeline.

They always say the opposite of love isn't hate, it's apathy. The one thing you can guarantee is that there is no apathy here.

Honey, this is what good couples do. [insert your expectations, and what you can deliver]. It's an old PUA idea, where you are creating an 'us vs the world' narrative. Which is true, under the CO/XO model. I think of this like LMR for a married couple.

I borrow heavily from TEMPO on this one. You are creating a narrative from which she can anchor all future decisions on. You are building a world with a strong man, a sexually available and feminine woman, and their 'perfect couple' dynamic that other couples can be jealous of. Now those shit and comfort tests she is flinging have the backdrop of a girl fucking up... not a woman with a deadbeat husband she can't respect. What, is she going to argue with you when you tell her you have the perfect relationship? Telling people you see the best in them has the ability to have them step up to your expectations.

She gets everything a girl would want. An almost unattanable man, emotional validation and tingles, and to feel a love that she 'earned', as well as guidance on how to live well. Rollo has tons of articles on the nature of women, I assume you've done your homework, so you should be well prepared, and ready to let it go if need be, but not mad about it either way

You're playing the game, and you're playing for blood... Finally. I'd do some research into the main event on here. Just be ready with your expectations, or the 'come to jesus' speech.


full disclosure. On mine. I went on our 'date' by myself when she had a temper tantrum, went to our terrace and drank in the hottub with a bunch of french girls who were staying in the building

She walked into that scene, and you couldn't make the dread any more palpable. She was a stick in the mud, and I was moving on, having a great time doing it. Luckily for me frame was easy. I had that glow of a man who had the world by the balls. Her yelling and screaming was turned down to 1...

My narrative was clear. Honey, I'm leaving the military in a few months. No one gets to tell me what to do anymore, and I'm the happiest I've ever been. I get you're mad, just come along, you'll like it. If you can't live with that, I understand. (paraphrased, can't remember exactly, but I remember the sentiment)

Woke up the next morning to a killer mexican breakfast, a nasty headache, and she looked happy as fuck. Lots of paternal gestures that day too. I suggest holding close, and kissing on the forehead. I didn't care that her mom may have been a narcissist, or that she had 'had enough'. I was already uprooting most of my life, it was just one more thing.

then I remembered how great she can cook Mexican, and we took it from there.

3 more 'aftershocks' later and it's been pretty damned smooth since then.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

By the way, check the sticky. might be time to move on...

[–]7Fig4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I see her email as one of the nastiest power plays I have seen in some time. She drew a hard line here in attempt to pull you back into her frame and control.

I am sorry that you are in this situation but I hope you have the courage to always be willing to walk away. She says she can't live like this anymore, why should you?

If it were me I would only respond to her last line (in person) and calmly tell her she can go live however she would like(pointing to the door).

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret5 points6 points  (12 children) | Copy

initiating and she says something similar to "you need to be nice to me"

[while pulling off her panties]..."I can be nice."

Hard no. "OK, bye."

"This is what I mean, you need to be nice to me.....[hamster...hamster].

"I agree we should be nicer to each other. You tell me your definition of "nice" and I show you mine."

[hamster...hamster...hamster...while hugging her tightly]....Then escalate....

At the hard no, smile and get up and leave the room/house.

"Where are you going.....hamster...hamster."

"I have to go sweetheart, you need to be nice to me."

(Note: This IS passive aggressive. Own it).

TLDR: Don't accept her definition of "nice" but reframe it to yours.

[–]SlimLovin4 points5 points  (10 children) | Copy

So sexually assault your wife and then shame her in to sex?

Do you really think this goofy shit works? Have any of you actually ever met a woman?

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (9 children) | Copy

Define sexual assault and how this is it. The dude has not had sex with his wife in years but continues to be her emotional tampon and provider. He is the one getting raped, not this harridan he calls a wife.

I really don't get this attitude.! It is "rape" if the man decides he is not going to put up with a wife who plays the sexual denial game and simply leaves when she shuts him down? How is this tactic in any way, shape, matter or form "rape?"

[–]SlimLovin2 points3 points  (8 children) | Copy

Continuing to pursue sex with an unwilling participant through physical means is assault. Your wife is not obligated to have sex with you. You Terps and your "pushing through resistance" rape apologia are ridiculous.

The wife isn't playing the "sexual denial game," she simply does not want to have sex with this guy. Reading his OP, I can't say I blame her.

This guy is going to lose his wife because he's ignoring her, shaming her, and not listening to her. That e-mail is no game. That's an attempt at communication. This guy is going to lose his wife because of your bullshit philosophy based on nothing and the childish games it advocates.

[–]ornerycrank4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

He fucking specifically said if she says no get up and leave. How is that continuing to pursue sex through physical means? Are you seriously suggesting that a husband shouldn't try to talk his wife into sex? Almost every consensual sexual event happens because one party talks the other into it.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

Please grace us with your proposal to restore a happy sexual marriage in this case. We are very excited to hear what you have in mind.

He is going to lose his wife? What wife? They have not had sex in years. She treats him with contempt and your solution is for him to "communicate" more. Sure, he should double down on what doesn't work. This woman deliberately flaunts her body, teases him with her breasts and then shuts him down and he tolerates it.

You females are unable to comprehend the central facts because of the uncomfortable truths they reveal.

  1. A man can learn to become more attractive to women. The fems HATE this because it shows that your magic fucking vagina Alpha detectors are total bullshit and childs play to fool.

  2. Attentive, needy, vagina worshiping men are NOT sexually attractive to women while a man with sexual options, who can treat a woman dismissively by not putting up with a woman who teases and denies him IS sexually attractive to women. Thus if the woman "does not want to have sex with this guy" then he needs to become LESS attentive, LESS needy, and have MORE sexual options.

Now let's hear your communicate nonsense. Let's hear your solution cupcake.

[–]SlimLovin2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

I'm a man, cupcake.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

I see no evidence of that allegation. White Knights don't get to call themselves men in these parts. I still haven't banned you for concern trolling and being a blue pill asshat because I really want to hear your solution. Come on, you know it all, right? Why you just got laid yesterday and your wife soaks the sheets every time you lay her down and gently engage in that super hot affirmative consent. Can I touch you there? Amiright?

[–]SlimLovin2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Hahahaha I'm definitely not "concern trolling." I'm trying to get this guy to stop taking awful advice and listen to his wife before it's too late. Communication. That's my solution.

This woman feels as though she isn't being listened to. She's reaching out to this guy via e-mail because it's clear he's shutting her out due to some shitty advice he got on an internet forum for little boys. My solution is for one human being to take another human being's feelings seriously instead of playing silly, ineffective games.

Take out the IV Red Pill Drip and act like a human fucking being.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Communication. That's my solution.

And...boom goes the dynamite. He is shutting her out because she is being a sex denying harpy and not acting like a wife.

At least I tried. I don't know why, but I tried.

[–]Simpsondimsum0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

how come she can ignore years of his communication about wanting sex?

[–]anotherswingingdick-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

This guy is going to lose his wife

good fucking riddance. She's Damaged Goods.

[–]frogstud0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

nice

[–]bogeyd6Mod / Red Militia9 points10 points  (10 children) | Copy

This is a ploy to gaslight and by extension manipulate you. Disregard and when she asks tonight why you didn't reply. Simply respond that communication like that is not acceptable to be done over email.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

Yup. If it's important, it's face to face important

[–]bogeyd6Mod / Red Militia3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

The truth is there is a long way to go when she thinks she can send emails like that and garner his attention. If it were me, I would go read a book in a parking lot until midnight.

[–]starista0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly! How can she say she's doing all she can and doesn't know him - you don't treat your soul mate to an email.

[–]starista1 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy

So much this. Hate when shit like that is done over email.

[–]bogeyd6Mod / Red Militia0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

It's arguing from a weak position. Very lame and it is indeed just that. Shit.

[–]starista0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

And so much is missed without the use of body language and eye contact -- especially across genders.

[–]bogeyd6Mod / Red Militia0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Not to mention the ability to A&A, AM, and nuke it properly. She wanted a direct challenge, but to do it in an indirect way. That should never be acceptable.

[–]starista0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

It's passive aggressive and childish. I fucking hate what the ease of email has done to my profession - and society - as a whole. PS. I looked in TRP glossary, but am unsure of AM and A&A. Thanks. :)

[–]bogeyd6Mod / Red Militia0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Amused Mastery / Agree & Amplify

[–]starista0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thx. :)

[–]Trekneck2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy

hey only thing I have not done is sex, but I don't have sex with strangers and that is what you are to me.

So... she doesn't have sex with strangers, and that's what you are to her now... And she won't have sex with the guy you were 6 months ago either.

Main event is coming man. Seconded on /u/stonepimpletilists thoughts, it's time to move up to MRP

[–]starista0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

So sorry for ignorance what is the main event?

[–]Trekneck0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

See the 12 levels of dread

[–]starista0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thank you so much, I will Google that shortly.

[–]MRPguy0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

"Fuck you or fuck me"

[–]starista0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

As in - one of us has to go?

[–]PurpleVeteranRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

STPs right that this is a precursor to the Main Event. Her hamster is spinning fast and furious, and she's trying to restore her frame on this relationship. Her email is pretty clear about what she expects from you, and you need to be just as clear on what you expect from her.

And it's not just about sex, or an exchange of validation and affections, but presence.

Wife and I have fun, but no sex. [...] You have no desire to be around me and when you are it feels forced.

See, I think this is the disconnect. Are you really OI, or are you checked out? I wouldn't want to be with someone who listened to my shit once in a while, and only because they had to.

I believe she's a narcissist

Her message doesn't read like a hard narcissist, just someone focused on her feelz. This is the reason she had the EA, for extra validation. Now, I'm not saying that you have to be her emotional sponge, but she's pretty clear that this is her deal breaker. What's yours?

She knows you're punishing her, and she's finally communicating about it overtly. You don't have to court her like you're dating, but you should be present and aware of what's going on in her life. When it was my turn, I made it clear to my wife that it wasn't the sex itself that was important (I could take care of those needs myself) but the intimacy. And I think that's the way to frame this -- she needs to let down her guard, and you will too.

occasionally tease me by flashing boobs, rubs dick, flashes ass but denies me in the initiation.

She knows sex is her superpower, and she's willing to trade it for your attention. As the old joke goes... "What kind of woman do you think I am?" "We’ve already established that. Now we’re just haggling over the price."

[–]KyfhoMyoba1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

OP I've read the (so far) 42 comments. All of them are fairly sound advice, but I will give you something to frame all of it in:

Women talk, men do. Demonstrate, don't explicate. Acta, non verba.

Whatever you end up doing, remember this counsel.

[–]SexistFlyingPig1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I find her paragraph to be a great example of olympic-athlete hamster training.

She has given YOU commitment? No. She hasn't. If you were having sex all the time, then maybe she could argue that, but the fact is that you are getting nothing from the relationship. She doesn't have interesting things to talk about. She doesn't pay the bills. She doesn't drop to her knees when you're in need.

I'm on your side. But what should you do? I'm guessing you came here because you're not ready to end this thing and move on. So, 12 levels of dread. You've started with level 0. You are improving yourself. Level 1 is some light dread. Flirt with other women. Do it in front of her. If sex isn't important to the relationship (as she claims) then you having sex with other women (or having the option) shouldn't be important either. I'm guessing you'll find out what a million other married men have found out before you. If she thinks you could easily be getting sex elsewhere, it will make her a LOT more interested in you, sexually.

[–]MRPguy1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I know you want only sex from me, but I need and expect more.

Do NOT fall for this shit. This is a trap. It is YOU who should expect more from her. If what you only wanted was sex you would have an affair or find a prostitute.

[–]Yetna1 point2 points  (8 children) | Copy

Dude this is the perfect chance out of a shitty relationship. Get the fuck out while you still can. When she ask why. Say I thought about what you wrote and ditto bitch!

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

You have no desire to be around me and when you are it feels forced. You are a stranger to me. I don't know who you are anymore.

Is any of this true? Are you only withdrawing when she withdraws? Are you bringing a positive, upbeat frame every day until she gives a hard no?

Or are you withdrawing for days at a time every time you get a hard no? Are you butthurt and angry?

wife also tries to degrade me(which I ignore) and occasionally tease me by flashing boobs, rubs dick, flashes ass but denies me in the initiation.

Pure power play with a heaping of cruelty. This is like a cat toying with it's victim. It sounds like she is the one getting butthurt because she has lost one of her favorite thing to do (torture her husband, and then deny him in order to see the hurt on his face).

[–]TheDarkTriad0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

My understanding was that you withdrawal attention until she corrects her behavior/realizes that denial of sex results in you giving your attention to other things, no? How come you should "start fresh" the next day like it never happened?

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Your understanding is wrong. How can you seduce her if you are playing the silent treatment game. If you thought you could just ignore her until one day she suddenly trips and falls on your cock think again. Women married to men they consider beta are like camels. You will be waiting a while.

You start fresh because you are the leader. Start from the frame you want and give her a chance to enter it. Lead her to a place where she is eager to fall on your clock.

[–]TheDarkTriad0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This makes sense. Thank you.

[–]RPStruggle[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

No, I've been lots of fun. She's always laughing and has come into my frame of making stupid sexual innuendos at everything. We had sex last night albeit nothing special, we had fun.

I usually don't even withdraw very hard, just more gradually with every rejection for 24 hours. And I stopped texting her so much, one thing she is obsessed with.

[–]ImprovingMan0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

How old are you two? How long have you been married? I am wondering if 5 months is long enough. Also, you didn't go into how she degrades you. Is she verbally abusive? At the least, you are in a marriage with a very difficult personality. You very well could be dealing with an angry person that might need a lot of therapy. Read about borderline personality disorder and see if that fits. A lot of people get labeled as a narcissist but are actually BPD. Just a thought...

Either you are being toyed with, or she just isn't attracted to you yet. What about Outcome Independence? After you initiate and she rejects, would she say you are acting like a kid that didn't get candy? If you are awesome and she doesn't respond, you need to think about your other options.

I get really bothered when a spouse is degrading or disrespectful. To me, that is never a good sign of long-term happiness.

[–]RPStruggle[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

H:32 M:28

Nah just jabs at my masculinity, haven't taken them serious but it seems as if she does it to bring me down. Pretty good on OI at this point.

[–]ImprovingMan0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Kids?

[–]RPStruggle[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

1 with her and 1 of mine. She's very close to them and my family.

[–]FidesphilioPat the Bipolar ADHD troll0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Sounds like you don't want a wife. Get one of those pillows with a hole in it; you'll be happier and she can leave you and be happier.

[–]nastynickdrRed Beret[🍰] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Its really funny how a woman can write a wall of text and say freaking nothing. All it reads is hamsterhamsterhamsterhamster

"They only thing I have not done is sex, but I don't have sex with strangers and that is what you are to me."

Good fucking lord hamster overdrive!!!!!!!!!!

[–]CZall230 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Ok, I'll probably get downvoted like crazy for this but this is getting too depressing.

OP, what do you want?

Do you want just sex on demand? Is it important that it is with your wife or would any girl do? What is your end goal for your marriage?

Because it seems to me all you want out is lots of sex and when she doesn't put out, you pull away. Because all you want is sex.

If you just want sex, why not just get divorce and have sex with lots of women? I'm sure with your new and improved SMV, it wouldn't that hard for you.

I wish you the best of luck.

[–]SlimLovin0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Jesus, man.

Maybe be nice to your wife instead of taking advice from boys on the internet and playing dumb games you learned from a philosophy based on nothing.

Stop "AA"ing and "fogging" and "SMV"ing and whatever other bullshit acronyms you're doing and just be kind, you shitbag.

You are going to lose your wife.



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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