Potential LTR hit me with this text....

Glowv2 · 2019-02-25T21:10:31+00:00

Dont be a fucking robot.. It's not internalized , if all you do is copy paste all the vomit this place has to offer. Read and make it work for YOU.

whatdidshewrite · 2019-02-25T21:11:53+00:00

If I were you, I'd ignore the text and start treating her with behaviours that will build some comfort.

itiswr1tten · 2019-02-25T21:58:43+00:00

A lot of guys read into TRP too much and overcompensate for past mistakes. Plates need spin to stay intact.

That means after the first month or so you do have to put forth SOME level of effort to keep them interested, if it's all one way outreach you're going to get nuclear shit tests like these.

You handled it as well as you could, keep the soft next intact but you'll need to add at least a modicum of comfort if or when she boomerangs.

I'm going to write a post on this subject that should help for next time.

Bone_Coat · 2019-02-25T23:18:34+00:00

do not make TRP your only source of relationship advice... it is ok to be 15 or 20% "beta" to develop bonding in a relationship (if your intention is to have an LTR)

edit: I have seen, the texts shen sent you.

ok attention, all relationships are based in masculine and feminine energies, both man and woman have both of those energies.

example, an alpha woman would seek a more alpha man than her or on the same level, and a beta woman would get along better with beta men..

when your woman is using masculine energy aka "alpha" is your SIGNAL to go FULL ALPHA, then when she sees you taking that role she can take the feminine role, and then you win, a woman hates doing masculine things on a subconscious level. it's very stressful to them.

when a woman goes with feminine energy aka "beta": bonding, sharing intimacy with you (not sexually), showing love, spending time together , etc. then you should do the same that's how LTR's work IRL.

as a contrary the things you should avoid is going full beta when a woman goes full alpha, it repells them faster than light. you might seem as a weak man if you do that.

on the contrary if your woman goes beta and you are full alpha, you are being rude and you are insulting her in some way, making her think she is not important, that's why she told you "she doesn't like to be treated as an option" and that "she likes you"

do you need anything more, OP?

HINT: you are fucking it up by being to alpha, you dumbass!

FuckboyAWALT · 2019-02-25T21:06:43+00:00

Plates break...

If you want to keep her show some soft beta traits.

Guaccamolepepe · 2019-02-25T21:18:15+00:00

You said it yourself, she didn’t approve being treated like a plate.

Now give her some time and hopefully she will come back, and then you treat her like you should. Best wishes eh

mrpthrowa · 2019-02-25T21:30:27+00:00

This is the negotiation process. She is trying to get more out of you and she is bargaining. She will try to wrestle control from you but she’ll hate you once she has it

You should text her a simple text “I understand. I have enjoyed my time with you and thought we had potential. Best of luck.”

You’re in no way Deering or apologising for your behaviour. You’re assuming it’s done: you never respond to ultimatums by relinquishing control. You leave the door for her to fold back in your frame though.

LongDongLondonDon · 2019-02-26T01:28:07+00:00

Seems like you failed some comfort tests in the past

SoyTanto · 2019-02-25T22:43:18+00:00

My advice is to Read some married red pill to understand that dynamic

vandaalen · 2019-02-25T21:41:29+00:00

potential LTR

how long have you been fucking her

TheRedPillMonkey · 2019-02-26T02:14:22+00:00

I'm not an option and I don't appreciate being treated like one

This is a telling line. Here's the thing: she is absolutely nothing more than an option until she earns your choice. Once she has earned your choice, then you need to act like it.

It sounds like either she hasn't earned you choosing her and was arrogantly assuming she has, or in fact she had and you are ignorantly thinking it's trp to ignore her.

Either way, I think that's where the mistake it.

An LTR is something a woman pursues, not a man. She has to earn it and once she has, you treat her like it.

moontripper1246 · 2019-02-26T05:10:41+00:00

It's interesting b/c there's not a right choice here, it's all up to whether you want to pursue her or not.

She's just fed up wanting more, it's not that she's some evil cunt looking fir an excuse to fuck other guys. She genuinely wants to start a relationship. All on you to have her fuck off or stick around, to whatever extent.

Just keep in mind man, game is powerful and if you're not aware you can damage people. Not trying to make anyone feel guilty, just keeping everyone aware.

huggyblossom · 2019-02-26T10:24:57+00:00

TRP is not about being Alpha 100% of the time...

In a LTR relationship you have to be Beta also, since you go with the girl on another level of commitment. There is the normal phase of fucking, going out to fuck, but since we have BRAIN above the pure physical escalation there is the emotional escalation in the LTR.

You do not see only as a lover, plate or w/e term you want, but as a partner in a LTR, this is the thing so many people here forget. And for a joint venture aka a LTR to work you need to make compromises and work for the LTR to exist. You need commitment, that is what so many guys here do not understand.

It's not to be available to her 100% of the time, but to be available, not to be always going out with the guys, going out to play the game. A LTR is a commitment in both sides to share the time more with each other and to have their single time reduced for the goal to be a couple. And as we discussed so many times women know very well inside that their physical value drops down every day. We as man have no problem with physical flaws due to age, since we exersize and overall our bodies are made for harder life. This is why so many women persue LTR and want to secure the best man possible, since in the end of the day if you are not Darwin worthy or with offspring to pass your gene what is your contribution for the family tree.

donkeydodo · 2019-02-26T10:38:22+00:00

There is a reason that marriage is called RP Hardmode; if you want a LTR, you'll have to go purple; full RP implies that you don't give commission, that you just take and do what YOU want - full BP implies that you give commission in hopes of getting what you want, by doing a 'fair' trade. Basically, how you get pussy is going full RP, but staying entitled to the same pussy without anyone else touching it requires investment from your part; it requires you to go a bit BP. This thing is called Purple Pill; a combination of them both. The "BP" without too much Beta traits, and the "RP" ~~without too much Alpha traits~~ with a bit of BP social investment. For a woman to truly fall in love with you, she'll have to want to hunt the price but never feel as if she is the sole owner of it, the only one who can earn it. With that said, she'll want your commission earned the hard way. For this, put up boundaries and earn her respect - don't reward her negative behaviours, withdraw commission if she does something you dislike to get your point across - if followed thorougly, you'll soon have a woman who does everything in her power to please you. However, if she has some self respect (alpha woman / matriarch), she won't change all her opinions because you have a differing opinion.

Example scenario of a beta woman;

Her: this yellow shirt is nice,
You: no it's not,
Her: Yea I agree, it's not nice

This is a "beta" woman, who is too affraid to lose your commission, so much that she'd change her opinions to not lose you. IMO, this is unattractive.

Example scenario of a alpha woman;

Her: this yellow shirt is nice
You: no it's not
Her: well, I think it's nice

The difference between the alpha and beta example is following: The beta woman will want to please you because she doesn't want you to leave her. The alpha woman will consider what you said and give it a thought. If she doesn't vibe with it, she won't agree - for her to vibe with it, you'll have to make her "feel good" about it.

Because you're a man, you generally possess more rational and logical thinking, therefore you argue more logically (women are more emotional thinkers, thus argues out of emotions). If you're a good communicator, you'll be able to translate logical thinking into emotional thinking. You'll want to appeal to her "feel-good" emotions.

Example scenario;

Her: Let's go ride this water slide, it looks epic
You: I'd rather go ride this other water slide, it's bigger, longer and more epic
Her: Fair enough, let's go

In this scenario, she wanted to ride the first water slide, because subliminally she knew that water slide would make her feel good. What you did, however, was presenting her another alternative that in theory would give her a bigger "feel good" emotion; what you did was logically presenting her a better option for her emotinal reaction, and because she understood this, she complied with you.

Moldy_Gecko · 2019-02-26T01:54:03+00:00

I completely agree with you. I lost my last LTR because too much "Alpha" or "TRP" or whatever. Honestly, your reply to her and taking her out was pretty spot on in my opinion. To be fair, though, her taking that "day off" or more is likely her getting some new dick.

moorekom · 2019-02-26T01:33:40+00:00

I've been in a similar situation before. It ran the exact same course but the outcome was different as I didn't choose to pursue it because of a dealbreaker that I wasn't aware of previously. I ran heavy dread game in the beginning, switched to light comfort with dread but she wanted comfort and security. At some point, all girls will try to work that in slowly. You've received a lot of good advice here. Show light comfort in the beginning. Turn it on slowly like a tap. She needs a romantic story of falling in love. Make her work for it. Make her chase you. But do let her get close to an extent. Never let her catch up to you completely or think she has. A lot of trp advice is very good for plate spinning but won't do you much good for ltr. Do not treat the advice here as the final word. I suggest you also read a bit of married redpill or better yet, go straight to the sources like Rollo, Dalrock etc. Good luck.

Zanford · 2019-02-26T02:37:45+00:00

and she has dropped them all since she starting hanging with me

So she was juggling a bunch of guys when she met you? That doesn't sound terribly promising

Keep in mind I’m only her 2nd N count and first was an LTR

She says

Bottom line advie, don't change her mind, change her mood. DOn'T have some long 'yes dear' conversation where you explicitly nod your head to all her ramblings. Instead, just give her good times and good experiences that make her feel comfort and connection.

INNASKILLZ2K18 · 2019-02-26T13:13:27+00:00

A massive theme in this thread is around alpha/beta behaviour. IMO, that's not the issue. Giving a little comfort (in the right way) doesn't make someone Beta, or not Alpha.

If you start believing that 'Alpha' is some emotionless robot, and start taking on that persona, it's going to fuck you up as a person.

The difference between Alpha and Beta in the context of comfort, is HOW THEY GET THEIR NEEDS MET. A beta, or nice guy, will give a whole lot of fake comfort, when really they are just too afraid to go for what they want. Their 'niceness' or comfort giving, is a covert contract, because they want something in return, or are afraid to lose a person.

An alpha mindset is one where you go for what you want, regardless of outside shit. You're strong in your confidence of being able to create new options. You directly try to meet your needs. That person can give small bouts of comfort or positive feedback, without suddenly turning 'beta'. He normally does it AFTER someone has met his needs, not SO they will his needs. Especially with plates. You reward good behaviour. Some of that, can be providing positive emotions in the form of a little comfort.

I hope this makes sense. Don't become an emotionless robot, and think you're being Red Pilled. No, you're just becoming a sociopath.

KillaJewels · 2019-02-26T13:40:08+00:00

Just be genuine. I think the TRP reading material and game principles have a lot of merit to them and provide some solid perspective, but making your every move an overthought strategy is not being you. Your value comes from your uniqueness. Never forget that.

Having said that, I think you made the right move here. Continue focusing on building comfort, and you should be in good shape. She definitely likes you and sounds like you got a good girl for LTR.

boy_named_su · 2019-02-25T21:17:13+00:00

She's your plate but talking like your LTR. Trying to put you in her frame

How long you been fucking her for? What are her red flags? Body count? Does she talk to her ex? Does she have solo/girls only vacations planned?

Velebit · 2019-02-26T05:51:58+00:00

Wtf are you asking?

ColmM36 · 2019-02-25T22:43:38+00:00

A lot of guys saying reply "k" or whatever, i dont think that works, or at least it hasnt for me. I had a girl say something similar to what your plate did. My reply was "take all the time you need" because it let her know a) i can get along without you and b) i was still open to her being a plate or potential LTR.

I don't think you should be a douche by text. Replying "k" to young women today is usually taken up badly and its just a waste of time. You're a man not a robot or a copy paste machine.

zxcvb7809 · 2019-02-26T03:00:14+00:00

I think it is a power play. Women need the emotional turmoil. I think if you do what she is asking you to do she might lose interest. If you keep doing what you are doing I think there is a better chance she stays. That or she found someone she has higher interest in and needs an excuse to step out for a bit.

xNinja36 · 2019-02-26T07:45:59+00:00

Lol all dread game

SeasonedRP · 2019-02-26T11:20:53+00:00

You've gotten some good advice on here. I think you've correctly determined that you didn't provide enough comfort. But I don't think this is going to end well. Two months is quite soon for her to send you a text like this. The "I need more time to think if I'm even willing to make this work" language is troubling. I don't think you should have reached out to her after getting a text like this. Her saying she's dropped other guys since she started hanging with you is open-ended. It could mean she stopped seeing other guys a week ago after her friends were critical of you and she decided to push you to open up to her. In any event, she strikes me as one of these girls who is always posting relationship rules and who are insufferable nags when you've been with them for a while. At only two months, she should be making things easy for you, not difficult by breaking dates and imposing rules. While you shouldn't be running dread all the time, don't go too far in the comfort direction. Regardless of what you do, I think you'll see things differently in a couple of months and want to be rid of her.

serve_my_goddess · 2019-02-26T11:22:43+00:00

Let that shit break. She obviously isn't worth the trouble. Cut out the catching feels/oneitis thing before you show up on askMRP in 20 years after she put your balls in her purse and you turned yourself into a fat beta faggot.

CainPrice · 2019-02-26T11:50:52+00:00

She made a power play and you responded by capitulating to her demands. Things will get worse, not better.

She's going to try not having sex after some of your dates so that you can prove to her it's not all about sex to you. Once the date precedent is set, any meeting will now need to be a date and not just a hookup. And her attitude is going to become more demanding and bitchy.

She's not special. She's a casual sex girl. She was literally having casual sex with you 30 seconds ago (and was initially seeing other guys, too). She's not some kind of special non-slut.

You're going to be shit tested to hell now. This may end up being not worth saving. Starting a relationship now will result in a relationship with a precedent for her making demands and withdrawing sex to get what she wants.

goblinboglin · 2019-02-26T14:41:31+00:00

If I were you I'd keep in mind AWALT.

Don't get misguided by what she says.

She is just a regular woman.

askmrcia · 2019-02-26T16:21:19+00:00

You only been with her for two months. Op I had very similar texts when I was with women for three months and I did more than enough to show affection.

You want to know what's really going on here? She is using this as an excuse to end the relationship to make you look like the bad guy. Assuming that big body text of hers came from nowhere and she never brought it up before, she is trying to find a reason to start a fight or drama to end the relationship.

The whole "I need time" bullshit is just her wanting to see if a potential guy she recently found is guaranteed so that she can branch swing or she is waiting to get advice from her friends on how to break things off with you.

This happened to me multiple times. Always around month 3. Last year this happened to me. I took the girl out, paid for her meal and planned the entire date.

The next following days she tells me she has to go on a trip with coworkers for the weekend and won't have access to her phone. I texted her to see how she was doing when she got back and she told me how she didn't like how things were going. How she was upset the one time I just left her house after I had sex showing I didn't care for her.

All of that was bullshit. I stayed and cuddled with her for about ten mins and left after she told me she had to work early in the morning (notice she tells me that after sex). I then explained to her that I planned the dates and that she flaked on two of them. I've been talking to this girl for closer to three months. She couldn't come up with an argument all she kept doing was blaming me how I wasn't acting like I was taking the relationship seriously.

I found out through the grapevine that she was dating someone else. That wasn't the first time it happened to me, but it sure as well was the most recent.

I can bet everything that the same thing is happening to you. Maybe you've been a dick and treated her like a plate, but she is not without fault.

What I mean by that is the girl I'm with now won't let me treat her like a plate. She texts good morning, Cooks me food, will call me when she can, her text are never short, ect... Those actions forces me to treat her better. Girls who are treated like plates is on them because they put minimum effort themselves. And if the guy puts in more effort he comes across as a beta. Anyways hope this helps

MorpheusSwag · 2019-02-25T21:02:56+00:00

Yeah you blew it man. Weird, I thought TRP worked

_the_shape_ · 2019-02-25T21:19:43+00:00

Choose between: "ok", "cool", or no answer at all.

Rather than giving you any more specifics, the basis of everything you do ought to come from a place where you enjoy her company (I'm assuming you do?), but won't stand in the way of her leaving should she grow restless ~~and desire the safety offered by any one of the millions of betas out there~~. She'll come back with a proposition - that you can count. Beware of the ultimatums though (i.e. "officially recognize me as your "girlfriend" or we're through") That's how you position yourself to get fucked in the long run. This is important because the same card can be used against you again further down the line with the classic: "marry me or we're done". I digress.

I'd say you're doing it right if it's gotten to this point, but realize that plates do crash, and you have to be willing to allow that to happen if you find yourself being positioned for a deal that doesn't work for you. Beware of the labels ("so, like, what are we???") going forward. Be cool. Assume everything's going seamlessly between you two, and you personally don't see ~~her~~ the despair.

CCJ22 · 2019-02-25T22:57:02+00:00

She's shit testing.

VigilantSmartbomb · 2019-02-25T21:03:49+00:00

The crux of why Ive begun to hate this thread lol

flapjacksrbetter · 2019-02-25T22:52:06+00:00

Spin that hamster boiiii 😂

QueenSlapFight · 2019-02-26T00:00:55+00:00

Edg3head-41 · 2019-02-25T21:11:19+00:00

Commenting to check back later, this too has been an issue of mine

rugged79 · 2019-02-25T23:34:58+00:00

Nuclear option: "Sorry Princess, I don't have the time, can't you see all these Dragons I'm slaying out here?!?!"

TRP dictates that you hold frame in order to give you more options. Also to watch her actions and not her words. You may want to get at least 1 more plate, as early stages of oneitis is setting in.

After she comes back, get her face to face. It's way easier to make demands when the person isn't in front of you. Holding the pussy hostage for affection. Basically she's trying to "plate" you with her emotional fucking judo. Counter with logical fucking judo.

One option: let her know casual dating is pretty easy for you. It's something you do often and something you do well. Anything BEYOND that you take seriously because your standards are extremely fucking high.

You're not out here on these streets giving affection away for free because yours is valuable. The reason other dudes do it so freely is because it means nothing to them. She has to do things that make you WANT to be more affectionate. You're willing to do the same.

You don't have a lot of time, but when you're with her, you're with her. During that time, she's got your complete focus (then hug her and grab her booty.)

charliemurphaay · 2019-02-25T22:40:06+00:00

hahaha congratulations, you accomplished the main goal, which is to be ryan goslings character in drive

unfortunately you now have autism

pishposh44 · 2019-02-26T01:21:26+00:00

She isn’t into. Her last text was revealing.

You dodged a bullet. You are desiring very normal thing and things that built intimacy and trust.

She is showing you that when you have a need she won’t connect and give love.

Her relationship style will either be aloof if you want her and anxious when you show you’re over it.

You best opportunities are to be with secure people who build intimacy.

Title	Potential LTR hit me with this text....
Author	AnonBro34333
Upvotes	59
Comments	109
Date	February 25, 2019 8:56 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/auq8p8/potential_ltr_hit_me_with_this_text/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/potential-ltr-hit-me-with-this-text.220032 https://theredarchive.com/post/220032

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