Potential LTR hit me with this text....

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February 25, 2019
59 upvotes

“Hey. ____if it isn’t obvious I do like you. But me having to always question if you are interested in me is a problem. I shouldn’t have to ask you to show affection or even talk to me. When you are truly interested in a person you do that willingly and without question. You give affection and attention freely. And you don’t. I’m sorry but the way you are acting isn’t right and isn’t how you start a relationship. You have to be open with one another from the beginning and you aren’t. So I need sometime to think about us and if I’m even willing to try to make us work. So I’m sorry but I’m not coming tonight and I’m going to need sometime to think about pursuing this anymore. I hope you can understand.”

How do I proceed? I’ve been maintaining TRP mindset throughout.... have I been a little too douchey sticking to TRP mentality? I definitely have put myself before her.

I haven’t known how to transition from treating her like a plate to a potential LTR but I have genuine interest in dating her some day. Have not shown it because I’ve been so set on sticking to TRP mentality regardless of emotions.

She has been raised that a guy should be a gentleman etc and I feel her parents may have pressured her to make that decision.

Any pointers welcome... keep in mind that I do have interest in her but lmk thoughts.

Update 1:

Texts

Update 2

I spoke to her on the phone. I feel as though I wouldn’t come off as beta by telling her I do have genuine interest but I have high standards and don’t just give my attention to anyone... and if she earns my interest she should be glad because it won’t be easy for any other girl to earn it. (Light beta) She went on to say that she has no interest in talking to any other guys and she has dropped them all since she starting hanging with me. (Beta orbiters that Snapchat her..nothing more) Told her I’d take her out on a date Friday and she agreed to come as well as stay the night. Keep in mind I’m only her 2nd N count and first was an LTR so I feel as though she is automatically going to be attached by default, so this tactic may be too beta in some scenarios...might be better to let her “boomerang” to you

**Lesson learned here**

TRP is generally anti LTR... for those that are into LTRs:

Read the TRP guidelines and understand it to where you can mold it to your situation but do NOT be 100% alpha all the time. This works great when spinning plates or gaming chicks and setting yourself apart from the average joe. But when it comes to girls you see as potential LTRs...too much alpha leaves no comfort and that causes them to be unsure if you are talking to them only. I say come in 100% alpha when meeting a chick and as she “separates” her from other you gradually give interest but keep it 2:3. Just enough beta leaves them with comfort knowing you are interested/monogamous to them. For some cases this is different, but to any “quality” chick you want to date I say they will want to be monogamous and have comfort knowing you are as well. You want just enough alpha for her to know you have other options but lightly beta enough to know you are picking her over them...


Post Information
Title Potential LTR hit me with this text....
Author AnonBro34333
Upvotes 59
Comments 109
Date 25 February 2019 08:56 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/220032
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/auq8p8/potential_ltr_hit_me_with_this_text/
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Comments

[–]Glowv263 points64 points  (1 child) | Copy

Dont be a fucking robot.. It's not internalized , if all you do is copy paste all the vomit this place has to offer. Read and make it work for YOU.

[–]zav251 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly. Just inspire from here, understand the essence behind the things you read on this subreddit, and then use it as you want, adapt it to you personality/lifestyle.

[–]whatdidshewrite84 points85 points  (6 children) | Copy

If I were you, I'd ignore the text and start treating her with behaviours that will build some comfort.

[–]OutsideTheCage318 points19 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes, as he is now getting comfort tests, rather than shit tests.

Many guys posting on RP never get there; thus the anti-LTR stigma.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

Best response. Do this OP!

[–]AnonBro34333[S] 7 points8 points  (3 children) | Copy

How do I do this without responding?

[–]whatdidshewrite5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

Do you see her regularly?

[–]AnonBro34333[S] 15 points16 points  (1 child) | Copy

No. She lives in one city over. 45 min drive. So twice a week on average

Inb4 “game plates closer”.. I’m in a small town. I still spin plates but work 5 days a week and am okay with the idea of a relationship at the moment since I have 2 days to game other than tinder

[–]whatdidshewrite8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

She’s clearly interested in you, so set up a date like you normally would. Might be best to go somewhere rather than have her back at your place or hers because she might take it as you just want to fuck and resist

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten34 points35 points  (14 children) | Copy

A lot of guys read into TRP too much and overcompensate for past mistakes. Plates need spin to stay intact.

That means after the first month or so you do have to put forth SOME level of effort to keep them interested, if it's all one way outreach you're going to get nuclear shit tests like these.

You handled it as well as you could, keep the soft next intact but you'll need to add at least a modicum of comfort if or when she boomerangs.

I'm going to write a post on this subject that should help for next time.

[–]AnonBro34333[S] 6 points7 points  (12 children) | Copy

Please link me when you have it posted. I truly believe I used too much dread from the TRP front I’ve put on and she doesn’t feel comfortable enough to date me. I think I’ve followed TRP a little too closely and didn’t mold with the situation.

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten19 points20 points  (11 children) | Copy

It's not that she thinks your SMV is too high, she correctly identified that you give her absolutely zero comfort. All Dread All The Time only works when you plan to have them break after 1 to 3 months and just run pure abundance game.

This is a "marketing problem" where you just need to reframe the time you spend together as quality time and calm her down. If you don't want to do that, then accept they'll break and just move onto the next.

This one is REALLY likely to boomerang though. She probably had a pow wow with her friends and the hens pecked her for giving it up too easy.

[–]bruiser1815 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy

Wish I had read this before, broken too many plates by running 100% dread 24/7. Great answer.

[–]AnonBro34333[S] 3 points4 points  (7 children) | Copy

I do have interest in this girl which is rare for me to have interest beyond a plate and I have a history of being in their frame when I have feelings so I’ve tried to think strictly with TRP mindset and no emotions

I do want to pursue this girl without losing frame of it...

What should be my sure next step?

ALSO. I’m only the second guy she’s ever been with sexually

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten5 points6 points  (6 children) | Copy

therationalmale dot Com /2011/11/02/plate-theory-ii-non-exclusivity/

Fix the link and read. Also you have to let her come back to you, DO NOT reach out and offer anything. Be patient.

[–]AnonBro34333[S] 2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy

I feel like I have been quite douchey no doubt. Do you think I should just bend frame and give her some level of comfort?

This isn’t something I wanna let go if saying the right thing can fix it and not put me in her frame at the same time

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten6 points7 points  (4 children) | Copy

Comfort isn't bending frame. In this situation, you have to let her come back on her own because supplicating is the only bad move here. Just wait.

[–]AnonBro34333[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

This girl is a 7.5/10 in real life standard. Never encountered a chick with this many orbiters. I feel like I’m the alpha (obviously) but if she’s already questioning my interest, then the text I sent probably secured it in her mind. She is good quality and is used to not having to chase

[–]thirstybitch13-3 points-2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Tbh she's 7.5, she sounds like a bitch telling you exactly what you need to do to be with her, and you sound beta as fuck. Pretty obvious she's the one gaming you right now. Maybe let her come here and post about how she can keep spinning you because I'd like to learn a thing or two from her.

[–]showerdudes9 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

Jesus christ no, you're an idiot lol. He's not being beta and she's not gaming him. It's exactly what itiswr1tten wrote, nothing more, nothing less.

[–]ThinSpiritual2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is a "marketing problem" where you just need to reframe the time you spend together as quality time and calm her down.

Brilliant perspective as always.

[–]rfdshadow2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I overdreaded recently and almost fucked up my top plate

[–]Bone_Coat27 points28 points  (9 children) | Copy

do not make TRP your only source of relationship advice... it is ok to be 15 or 20% "beta" to develop bonding in a relationship (if your intention is to have an LTR)

edit: I have seen, the texts shen sent you.

ok attention, all relationships are based in masculine and feminine energies, both man and woman have both of those energies.

example, an alpha woman would seek a more alpha man than her or on the same level, and a beta woman would get along better with beta men..

when your woman is using masculine energy aka "alpha" is your SIGNAL to go FULL ALPHA, then when she sees you taking that role she can take the feminine role, and then you win, a woman hates doing masculine things on a subconscious level. it's very stressful to them.

when a woman goes with feminine energy aka "beta": bonding, sharing intimacy with you (not sexually), showing love, spending time together , etc. then you should do the same that's how LTR's work IRL.

as a contrary the things you should avoid is going full beta when a woman goes full alpha, it repells them faster than light. you might seem as a weak man if you do that.

on the contrary if your woman goes beta and you are full alpha, you are being rude and you are insulting her in some way, making her think she is not important, that's why she told you "she doesn't like to be treated as an option" and that "she likes you"

do you need anything more, OP?

HINT: you are fucking it up by being to alpha, you dumbass!

[–]ghosts_of_me4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

Man this rings so true and i'd never heard of this idea.

I have a recent example of her going full beta while I was alpha and she got offended. How should i have handled this?

We were watching a live performance in a pretty thin mosh, i was enjoying the band and she kept trying to kiss me over and over but it was really annoying and i didnt feel like kissing in that moment so i just let her peck my face a few times and gave her a sort of half kiss while still keeping my eyes on the band. Made her visibly grumpy even though she was being a pest.

Next time Im thinking i have to beta-up a tiny bit and give her the kiss she wants except ill hold onto the alpha side by grabbing her ass really hard.

[–]Bone_Coat1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I like the alpha-beta approach you take... Kissing and grabbing ass, remember to do it with some passion and then pull back first...

Or like I do... kiss, pull back first, wait 5 seconds, then go for an "almost kiss" and hold that position to build sexual tension, just 2 or 3 secs, that drives them crazy. And then you can proceed to do nasty things ;)

[–]ghosts_of_me1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I pulled exactly that move on the D-floor at a house party a few months ago. Except after getting super close to the second kiss I actually pulled back and rejected the kiss completely and made a whole bunch of dudes watching go "OOOOHHH!!!" hahaha she wasnt happy but I lol'd

[–]thirstybitch13-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

Like putting my lips on her butthole and blowing as hard as I can, then accusing her of farting.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

Easily one of the most fucking obnoxious posts I've ever seen. Enough with the awful paragraph spacing. If over 50% of your content is bold, it defeats the purpose of bolding your text, doesn't it?

tl;dr: stop being a desperate attention whore

[–]Bone_Coat3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

hold on, baby boy ;) we got some special flower here!

edit: you know what? let me fix that!

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Weird way to flirt. No wonder you spend so much time here.

[–]Bone_Coat1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

you call me attention whore, but you're the one trying to get attention, AWESOME.

just. roll.with.it.dude

hasta la vista

[–]FuckboyAWALT15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy

Plates break...

If you want to keep her show some soft beta traits.

[–]Guaccamolepepe12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

You said it yourself, she didn’t approve being treated like a plate.

Now give her some time and hopefully she will come back, and then you treat her like you should. Best wishes eh

[–]mrpthrowa30 points31 points  (4 children) | Copy

This is the negotiation process. She is trying to get more out of you and she is bargaining. She will try to wrestle control from you but she’ll hate you once she has it

You should text her a simple text “I understand. I have enjoyed my time with you and thought we had potential. Best of luck.”

You’re in no way Deering or apologising for your behaviour. You’re assuming it’s done: you never respond to ultimatums by relinquishing control. You leave the door for her to fold back in your frame though.

[–]AnonBro34333[S] 12 points13 points  (3 children) | Copy

Ended up going with this response... check the OP and it shows her reply. I still haven’t responded to her last text

[–]mrpthrowa22 points23 points  (0 children) | Copy

The best thing to do now is to soft next

Don’t respond, she’ll backtrack

Build some anxiety’s in her

Then hit her up in 3 or 4 days

Act as if nothing happened

But dominate her and fuck her good

Look in her eyes

Warning: she may fall in love, hard

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K181 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Looks like it worked like gold. You totally called her bluff. She sort of came back. Maybe you could have left it, but not sure who called who. You did a good job of keeping frame over the phone, imo. You layed out the rules, didn't apologise or DEER.

Yeah, you could have shown more comfort sooner, but you handled this nuclear test really well, imo.

[–]LongDongLondonDon6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Seems like you failed some comfort tests in the past

[–]SoyTanto5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

My advice is to Read some married red pill to understand that dynamic

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen7 points8 points  (20 children) | Copy

potential LTR

how long have you been fucking her

[–]AnonBro34333[S] 5 points6 points  (19 children) | Copy

2 months. Potential as in she shows many green flags. Not as im actively wanting to jump in one

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen10 points11 points  (9 children) | Copy

This episode she gave you is an automatic exclusion from ever being promoted.

Answer "k", ghost and game other chicks. This one will get back two you latest in two weeks, if she's a hard case in four to six.

The you can fuck her for another two to six months until she breaks finally. Enjoy the ride as long as it lasts.

Two months is not long enough to evaluate a woman. Six to twelve months is the least amount you'll need to see how she behaves in situations where she isn't able to uphold her masquerade.

[–]bruiser189 points10 points  (8 children) | Copy

This episode she gave you is an automatic exclusion from ever being promoted.

What makes you say this?

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen16 points17 points  (7 children) | Copy

Too much drama plus if she is pulling the "I have to think about it" card, she usually means "while I suck another cock and see if the guy attached to it is the better option" .

[–]bruiser186 points7 points  (5 children) | Copy

That’s true. I think OP ran too much indifference and dread, likely causing this girl to pursue as you said, other cocks and the guys attached to them, preferably for her guys who will provide her with the validation and affection that OP does not.

[–]AnonBro34333[S] 4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy

I think you are correct. The thing is, as cocky as it sounds, I don’t think she’ll do better. Of course, that doesn’t matter as any attention is attention for chicks.

[–]bruiser185 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy

You’re right. If you are too ‘alpha’ and give her no validation or affection, she will resort to beta orbiters to validate herself.

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K183 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

Damn right. Everyone wants to feel wanted, on a deeper level.

Being heaps alpha is attractive at first. The chase, the being different, strong, confident etc.

If you follow that like a robot, the only women who will hang around are usually damaged with no self esteem.

The real test is HOW you give confort. If it's a form of supplicating, seeking approval, or giving affection because you want it in return, that is all nice guy, beta shit.

There is nothing 'un alpha' about simply showing some affection, praising good behaviour, letting her know she's a good girl.

Women are like kids. They all want a strong father figure. Does a strong father beg for his kids affection? No. But does that father praise his kids? Hopefully.

She doesn't want OP to be a beta, she wants him to be an alpha who simply reassures her she has more meaning than a car, or phone,or some other object.

I think it's fear of guys who made mistakes in the past, when they really really needed the girl.

Just make sure she is behaving correctly before comfort is ever given.

Really, if you doing one hundred percent dread one hundred percent of the time, women will never feel like they've won a tiny bit of you...and they'll all break.

[–]bruiser180 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Yeah showing girls indifference and aloofness at first draws them in, but you can’t run that forever if you expect the plate to keep spinning. Learned that the hard way.

Sure if you are showing her praise in order to keep her happy, that’s some beta shit. Only show girls praise when they show good behavior, show them you approve of their actions.

I’ve broken my share of plates by strongly sticking to indifference game too far into the relationship and they can’t handle me not wanting them and so they fuck off. They show good behavior and I still showed them aloofness. Now I’ve learned to treat them well when they behave good, and to not praise them unless they are behaving good.

[–]QueenSlapFight1 point2 points  (7 children) | Copy

This bullshit she sent you is a huge redflag.

[–]AnonBro34333[S] 5 points6 points  (6 children) | Copy

It’s pretty warranted... I have been treating her textbook TRP. 0 validation, always leaving questioning if I’m interested in her.

Initially I think this drives girls insane and makes them want you but when building an actual relationship you have to give them some sort of comfort, which I have not.

[–]MisterMarbles19882 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

People on here think that if a girl ever has a need that you're not meeting, verbalizes a demand for more or less of something, etc she is automatically "nothing more than plate material".

Apparently only yes-girls with none of their own desires, wants or needs are the only ones suitable for LTRs. A girl that literally never has an issue with your behavior, no matter how alpha or red pill you are.

[–][deleted] -5 points-4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Only 2 months? ahahaha I agree with other comments, you should be courting her for a year or two.

Her sending that type of message after 2 months is a red flag.

You don't know anything about her after 2x a week for 2 months.

Personally I'd tell her it would take me around a year of knowing her before I commit.

Good luck.

[–]TheRedPillMonkey2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm not an option and I don't appreciate being treated like one

This is a telling line. Here's the thing: she is absolutely nothing more than an option until she earns your choice. Once she has earned your choice, then you need to act like it.

It sounds like either she hasn't earned you choosing her and was arrogantly assuming she has, or in fact she had and you are ignorantly thinking it's trp to ignore her.

Either way, I think that's where the mistake it.

An LTR is something a woman pursues, not a man. She has to earn it and once she has, you treat her like it.

[–]moontripper12462 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

It's interesting b/c there's not a right choice here, it's all up to whether you want to pursue her or not.

She's just fed up wanting more, it's not that she's some evil cunt looking fir an excuse to fuck other guys. She genuinely wants to start a relationship. All on you to have her fuck off or stick around, to whatever extent.

Just keep in mind man, game is powerful and if you're not aware you can damage people. Not trying to make anyone feel guilty, just keeping everyone aware.

[–]AnonBro34333[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Agreed brother

[–]huggyblossom2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

TRP is not about being Alpha 100% of the time...

In a LTR relationship you have to be Beta also, since you go with the girl on another level of commitment. There is the normal phase of fucking, going out to fuck, but since we have BRAIN above the pure physical escalation there is the emotional escalation in the LTR.

You do not see only as a lover, plate or w/e term you want, but as a partner in a LTR, this is the thing so many people here forget. And for a joint venture aka a LTR to work you need to make compromises and work for the LTR to exist. You need commitment, that is what so many guys here do not understand.

It's not to be available to her 100% of the time, but to be available, not to be always going out with the guys, going out to play the game. A LTR is a commitment in both sides to share the time more with each other and to have their single time reduced for the goal to be a couple. And as we discussed so many times women know very well inside that their physical value drops down every day. We as man have no problem with physical flaws due to age, since we exersize and overall our bodies are made for harder life. This is why so many women persue LTR and want to secure the best man possible, since in the end of the day if you are not Darwin worthy or with offspring to pass your gene what is your contribution for the family tree.

[–]donkeydodo2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

There is a reason that marriage is called RP Hardmode; if you want a LTR, you'll have to go purple; full RP implies that you don't give commission, that you just take and do what YOU want - full BP implies that you give commission in hopes of getting what you want, by doing a 'fair' trade. Basically, how you get pussy is going full RP, but staying entitled to the same pussy without anyone else touching it requires investment from your part; it requires you to go a bit BP. This thing is called Purple Pill; a combination of them both. The "BP" without too much Beta traits, and the "RP" without too much Alpha traits with a bit of BP social investment. For a woman to truly fall in love with you, she'll have to want to hunt the price but never feel as if she is the sole owner of it, the only one who can earn it. With that said, she'll want your commission earned the hard way. For this, put up boundaries and earn her respect - don't reward her negative behaviours, withdraw commission if she does something you dislike to get your point across - if followed thorougly, you'll soon have a woman who does everything in her power to please you. However, if she has some self respect (alpha woman / matriarch), she won't change all her opinions because you have a differing opinion.

Example scenario of a beta woman;

Her: this yellow shirt is nice,
You: no it's not,
Her: Yea I agree, it's not nice

This is a "beta" woman, who is too affraid to lose your commission, so much that she'd change her opinions to not lose you. IMO, this is unattractive.

Example scenario of a alpha woman;

Her: this yellow shirt is nice
You: no it's not
Her: well, I think it's nice

The difference between the alpha and beta example is following: The beta woman will want to please you because she doesn't want you to leave her. The alpha woman will consider what you said and give it a thought. If she doesn't vibe with it, she won't agree - for her to vibe with it, you'll have to make her "feel good" about it.

Because you're a man, you generally possess more rational and logical thinking, therefore you argue more logically (women are more emotional thinkers, thus argues out of emotions). If you're a good communicator, you'll be able to translate logical thinking into emotional thinking. You'll want to appeal to her "feel-good" emotions.

Example scenario;

Her: Let's go ride this water slide, it looks epic
You: I'd rather go ride this other water slide, it's bigger, longer and more epic
Her: Fair enough, let's go

In this scenario, she wanted to ride the first water slide, because subliminally she knew that water slide would make her feel good. What you did, however, was presenting her another alternative that in theory would give her a bigger "feel good" emotion; what you did was logically presenting her a better option for her emotinal reaction, and because she understood this, she complied with you.

[–]AnonBro34333[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I like this example

[–]donkeydodo0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Edited, if interested!

[–]Moldy_Gecko4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

I completely agree with you. I lost my last LTR because too much "Alpha" or "TRP" or whatever. Honestly, your reply to her and taking her out was pretty spot on in my opinion. To be fair, though, her taking that "day off" or more is likely her getting some new dick.

[–]AnonBro34333[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

I assumed the same thing. And tbh... I wouldn’t be surprised because AWALT. I can almost guarantee she was hitting up a guy she had on the back burner to get her “validation”... until I called her.

[–]moorekom1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I've been in a similar situation before. It ran the exact same course but the outcome was different as I didn't choose to pursue it because of a dealbreaker that I wasn't aware of previously. I ran heavy dread game in the beginning, switched to light comfort with dread but she wanted comfort and security. At some point, all girls will try to work that in slowly. You've received a lot of good advice here. Show light comfort in the beginning. Turn it on slowly like a tap. She needs a romantic story of falling in love. Make her work for it. Make her chase you. But do let her get close to an extent. Never let her catch up to you completely or think she has. A lot of trp advice is very good for plate spinning but won't do you much good for ltr. Do not treat the advice here as the final word. I suggest you also read a bit of married redpill or better yet, go straight to the sources like Rollo, Dalrock etc. Good luck.

[–]Zanford1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

and she has dropped them all since she starting hanging with me

So she was juggling a bunch of guys when she met you? That doesn't sound terribly promising

Keep in mind I’m only her 2nd N count and first was an LTR

She says

Bottom line advie, don't change her mind, change her mood. DOn'T have some long 'yes dear' conversation where you explicitly nod your head to all her ramblings. Instead, just give her good times and good experiences that make her feel comfort and connection.

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K181 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

A massive theme in this thread is around alpha/beta behaviour. IMO, that's not the issue. Giving a little comfort (in the right way) doesn't make someone Beta, or not Alpha.

If you start believing that 'Alpha' is some emotionless robot, and start taking on that persona, it's going to fuck you up as a person.

The difference between Alpha and Beta in the context of comfort, is HOW THEY GET THEIR NEEDS MET. A beta, or nice guy, will give a whole lot of fake comfort, when really they are just too afraid to go for what they want. Their 'niceness' or comfort giving, is a covert contract, because they want something in return, or are afraid to lose a person.

An alpha mindset is one where you go for what you want, regardless of outside shit. You're strong in your confidence of being able to create new options. You directly try to meet your needs. That person can give small bouts of comfort or positive feedback, without suddenly turning 'beta'. He normally does it AFTER someone has met his needs, not SO they will his needs. Especially with plates. You reward good behaviour. Some of that, can be providing positive emotions in the form of a little comfort.

I hope this makes sense. Don't become an emotionless robot, and think you're being Red Pilled. No, you're just becoming a sociopath.

[–]AnonBro34333[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Give comfort when they have earned it... not because you want something in return. I agree.

[–]KillaJewels1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just be genuine. I think the TRP reading material and game principles have a lot of merit to them and provide some solid perspective, but making your every move an overthought strategy is not being you. Your value comes from your uniqueness. Never forget that.

Having said that, I think you made the right move here. Continue focusing on building comfort, and you should be in good shape. She definitely likes you and sounds like you got a good girl for LTR.

[–]boy_named_su1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

She's your plate but talking like your LTR. Trying to put you in her frame

How long you been fucking her for? What are her red flags? Body count? Does she talk to her ex? Does she have solo/girls only vacations planned?

[–]Velebit1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Wtf are you asking?

[–]ColmM361 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

A lot of guys saying reply "k" or whatever, i dont think that works, or at least it hasnt for me. I had a girl say something similar to what your plate did. My reply was "take all the time you need" because it let her know a) i can get along without you and b) i was still open to her being a plate or potential LTR.

I don't think you should be a douche by text. Replying "k" to young women today is usually taken up badly and its just a waste of time. You're a man not a robot or a copy paste machine.

[–]QueenSlapFight-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

A lot of guys saying reply "k" or whatever, i dont think that works

What do you mean "works"? This isn't about trying to manipulate her. It's about her word vomit text being a bunch of bullshit nonsense, and OP shouldn't give it much more than an "ok". If she's worth putting in anymore effort, she'll try to step up her game after OP blows her off. If she isn't , she won't. Good riddance.

TRP isn't a cheat code to mind control women or something.

[–]zxcvb78090 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I think it is a power play. Women need the emotional turmoil. I think if you do what she is asking you to do she might lose interest. If you keep doing what you are doing I think there is a better chance she stays. That or she found someone she has higher interest in and needs an excuse to step out for a bit.

[–]xNinja360 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Lol all dread game

[–]SeasonedRP0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

You've gotten some good advice on here. I think you've correctly determined that you didn't provide enough comfort. But I don't think this is going to end well. Two months is quite soon for her to send you a text like this. The "I need more time to think if I'm even willing to make this work" language is troubling. I don't think you should have reached out to her after getting a text like this. Her saying she's dropped other guys since she started hanging with you is open-ended. It could mean she stopped seeing other guys a week ago after her friends were critical of you and she decided to push you to open up to her. In any event, she strikes me as one of these girls who is always posting relationship rules and who are insufferable nags when you've been with them for a while. At only two months, she should be making things easy for you, not difficult by breaking dates and imposing rules. While you shouldn't be running dread all the time, don't go too far in the comfort direction. Regardless of what you do, I think you'll see things differently in a couple of months and want to be rid of her.

[–]AnonBro34333[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I agree to an extent but 2 months isn’t bad per se. I did tell her I was down to talk to her ONLY before running constant dread. It’s like I told her I was interested in pursuing her but my actions said otherwise. I think this was just her way of saying “Let me know you’re actually pursuing me so I’m not wasting my time”. Judging from a red pill perspective, I did not say or do anything to put myself in her frame.. I still have full control while also giving her some comfort.

[–]SeasonedRP0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

It's hard to get the whole picture from posts, so hopefully you're right. Without actually seeing all of your interactions, I'm just speculating to a degree. In my experiences, worthwhile women try to make it easy for you, especially in the early months, and don't give what amount to ultimatums. My suggestion is to watch for red flags, particularly behavior like you just experienced. If you are balancing RP principles and comfort, there shouldn't be further issues like this. If there are, you'll know it is time to move on. Good luck.

[–]AnonBro34333[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Agreed. I will still screen her for LTR material before putting any ”title” on it.. and tbh if she made it easy for me she’d make it easy for any other guys so I don’t mind a little effort being required

[–]serve_my_goddess0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Let that shit break. She obviously isn't worth the trouble. Cut out the catching feels/oneitis thing before you show up on askMRP in 20 years after she put your balls in her purse and you turned yourself into a fat beta faggot.

[–]CainPrice0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She made a power play and you responded by capitulating to her demands. Things will get worse, not better.

She's going to try not having sex after some of your dates so that you can prove to her it's not all about sex to you. Once the date precedent is set, any meeting will now need to be a date and not just a hookup. And her attitude is going to become more demanding and bitchy.

She's not special. She's a casual sex girl. She was literally having casual sex with you 30 seconds ago (and was initially seeing other guys, too). She's not some kind of special non-slut.

You're going to be shit tested to hell now. This may end up being not worth saving. Starting a relationship now will result in a relationship with a precedent for her making demands and withdrawing sex to get what she wants.

[–]goblinboglin0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If I were you I'd keep in mind AWALT.

Don't get misguided by what she says.

She is just a regular woman.

[–]askmrcia0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You only been with her for two months. Op I had very similar texts when I was with women for three months and I did more than enough to show affection.

You want to know what's really going on here? She is using this as an excuse to end the relationship to make you look like the bad guy. Assuming that big body text of hers came from nowhere and she never brought it up before, she is trying to find a reason to start a fight or drama to end the relationship.

The whole "I need time" bullshit is just her wanting to see if a potential guy she recently found is guaranteed so that she can branch swing or she is waiting to get advice from her friends on how to break things off with you.

This happened to me multiple times. Always around month 3. Last year this happened to me. I took the girl out, paid for her meal and planned the entire date.

The next following days she tells me she has to go on a trip with coworkers for the weekend and won't have access to her phone. I texted her to see how she was doing when she got back and she told me how she didn't like how things were going. How she was upset the one time I just left her house after I had sex showing I didn't care for her.

All of that was bullshit. I stayed and cuddled with her for about ten mins and left after she told me she had to work early in the morning (notice she tells me that after sex). I then explained to her that I planned the dates and that she flaked on two of them. I've been talking to this girl for closer to three months. She couldn't come up with an argument all she kept doing was blaming me how I wasn't acting like I was taking the relationship seriously.

I found out through the grapevine that she was dating someone else. That wasn't the first time it happened to me, but it sure as well was the most recent.

I can bet everything that the same thing is happening to you. Maybe you've been a dick and treated her like a plate, but she is not without fault.

What I mean by that is the girl I'm with now won't let me treat her like a plate. She texts good morning, Cooks me food, will call me when she can, her text are never short, ect... Those actions forces me to treat her better. Girls who are treated like plates is on them because they put minimum effort themselves. And if the guy puts in more effort he comes across as a beta. Anyways hope this helps

[–]MorpheusSwag 1 points [recovered]  (4 children) | Copy

Yeah you blew it man. Weird, I thought TRP worked

[–]whatdidshewrite4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

If he acted the way she wanted (non-TRP), she wouldn't be attracted; but if he acted the TRP way she will be interested but insecure.

[–]BloodSurgery0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

You seem to imply that TRP doesn't help with LTR, when it does help. Like a toolbox, it depends on how the person uses it.

[–]whatdidshewrite0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I don’t imply that

[–]BloodSurgery0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

but if he acted the TRP way she will be interested but insecure.

[–]_the_shape_0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Choose between: "ok", "cool", or no answer at all.

Rather than giving you any more specifics, the basis of everything you do ought to come from a place where you enjoy her company (I'm assuming you do?), but won't stand in the way of her leaving should she grow restless and desire the safety offered by any one of the millions of betas out there. She'll come back with a proposition - that you can count. Beware of the ultimatums though (i.e. "officially recognize me as your "girlfriend" or we're through") That's how you position yourself to get fucked in the long run. This is important because the same card can be used against you again further down the line with the classic: "marry me or we're done". I digress.

I'd say you're doing it right if it's gotten to this point, but realize that plates do crash, and you have to be willing to allow that to happen if you find yourself being positioned for a deal that doesn't work for you. Beware of the labels ("so, like, what are we???") going forward. Be cool. Assume everything's going seamlessly between you two, and you personally don't see her the despair.

[–]CCJ22-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

She's shit testing.

[–]VigilantSmartbomb-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

The crux of why Ive begun to hate this thread lol

[–]flapjacksrbetter-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Spin that hamster boiiii 😂

[–]QueenSlapFight-1 points0 points  (6 children) | Copy

"K"

[–]showerdudes9 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy

Please never, ever post any advice regarding women, relationships or trp

[–]QueenSlapFight-2 points-1 points  (2 children) | Copy

Or...?

[–]showerdudes9 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

It was not a threat, hence my "please". Its for more new members who might think your advices would actually be any good, which they of course are not.

[–]QueenSlapFight1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Oh, ok. Eat a dick. Please.

[–]Aggressive_Beta0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

That’s a good response to a shit test but a terrible response to a comfort test.

[–]CakeDay--Bot0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

OwO, what's this? * It's your *1st Cakeday** Aggressive_Beta! hug

[–]Edg3head-41-4 points-3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Commenting to check back later, this too has been an issue of mine

[–]QueenSlapFight1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You know you can save threads, right?

[–]charliemurphaay-3 points-2 points  (0 children) | Copy

hahaha congratulations, you accomplished the main goal, which is to be ryan goslings character in drive

unfortunately you now have autism



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