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What data do you track?

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Suck-Less
March 11, 2019
9 upvotes
askMRP

I’m 51M and my wife is 50F, we have been married for 20 years. For a decade I was in a dead bedroom situation and turned that around via TRP. To keep track of how my wife sees me consciously and subconsciously, there are a number of things that I track in a spreadsheet.

  1. When we have sex, what time and who initiated
  2. What point in her menstruation cycle she is in.
  3. If I initiated did I need much game/for play, or was is “get your ass over here and service me”
  4. Did I have any behavioral abnormalities? Was I a little bitch, did I fail a shit test/comfort test, was I on my mark? Was I getting shit done?
  5. Techniques and language used while fucking.. what worked at what stage in her cycle.

I map this out with her cycle using the premise outlined in TRM: Preventative Maintenance. Menstruation through ovulation being the “bad boy” phase, post ovulation to just prior to menstruation being the comfort/sensitivity phase. So far that really seems to work for me.

I use the above to see if I have my shit together, in her eyes. I was wondering what data do other people track?


Post Information
Title What data do you track?
Author Suck-Less
Upvotes 9
Comments 95
Date 11 March 2019 06:16 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/221494
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/azwpme/what_data_do_you_track/
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Comments

[–]RStonePT26 points27 points  (2 children) | Copy

deleted What is this?

[–]thatboyjeff1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I’m not sure what funnier, the OP or all of these comments.

[–]RStonePT1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

deleted What is this?

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy

A U T I S M I S R E A L

[–]johneyapocalypseThe one that says "Bad Motherfucker"15 points16 points  (3 children) | Copy

I track the following:

  • Revenues.
  • Earnings.
  • Performance.
  • Competitors' Performance.
  • Industry Trends.
  • Employee Sentiment.
  • Hours Allocated vs Hours Utilized.
  • Calories.
  • Macros.
  • Lifts.

I'm sure there are a few others but those are the main KPI's I track.

[–]aherrns3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

So what are your SO lifts right now?

[–]johneyapocalypseThe one that says "Bad Motherfucker"14 points15 points  (1 child) | Copy

I only track OP's SO's lifts.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

oof

[–]BarracudaRP11 points12 points  (5 children) | Copy

If this is a troll, it's brilliant.

​

I track tons of stuff. I track every workout, and special notes about each movement. I use a journal to track my goals, monitor my progress and look back on how I've developed. In my head, I track my overall happiness level and if I'm keeping my ego in check. Many men (myself included) have used the OYS threads to track their progress in SMV/career/frame etc and keep themselves accountable.

​

Noticing a trend?

[–]Suck-Less[S] 1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

Tracking actionable results so I can identify what works and what doesn’t, is my intent. I have a whole other set of data around working out. What’s the OYS thread? I’m fairly new to reddit.

[–]JudgeDoom691 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

u/Suck-Less OYS stands for "Own Your Shit". Every Tuesday on the main MRP subreddit there is a thread called Own Your Shit Weekly. In the comments you post the progress of your Male Action Plan (fitness, social, financial, etc.). The feedback on your OYS is the best value in MRP.

If you had read the sidebar, you would know this.

As far as data tracking goes, I did the same type of thing when I was balls-deep blue pill. The problem is you are totally in your wife's frame. Worry about yourself and the rest will fall in line naturally, or it won't. But either way all you ever have control over is your own progress.

The folks on here will give you tough love, so you need a thick skin. They will call you out and make you look at yourself. If you want to be coddled you're in the wrong place. The fact that they took the time to comment on your thread is constructive, even if the language is harsh.

Your responses come across like a whiny-ass little pussy.

[–]Suck-Less[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

No sidebar on my app, I’ll check via a browser.

[–]JudgeDoom691 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

If you are on mobile, click on the three little dots on the upper right hand corner of the subReddit. Then choose “community info “

It does work better from a web browser though.

[–]Suck-Less[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Got it, filling up the ebook cart. Thanks.

[–]resolutions31613 points14 points  (8 children) | Copy

Everyone is shitting on you because everything you track is about YOUR WIFE.

This shit isn’t about your wife. Your wife is not a thermometer that tells you how hot it is.

Check my post history - I’ve been through this multiple times. I’ve posted recently about what I track and why.

TL,DR: track leading indicators that are about you getting better, not lagging indicators about your wife’s reaction to you.

[–]Suck-Less[S] 2 points3 points  (7 children) | Copy

I learned a long dam time ago if you want something in life: define the goal, set and define benchmarks and track progress. This applies to everything. It doesn’t matter if it’s sex life, career, or just personal interest and achievements. I’ll take a look at your history, and see if I find anything useful to me. Thanks.

[–]cholomiteMod / BP Downvote Magnet5 points6 points  (5 children) | Copy

The problem is that women are living paradoxes, and don't operate with logic or reason. They live in emotion, and spreadsheets and data are the opposite of emotion.

In fact, being the kind of guy who takes time tracking this stuff instead of just being naturally awesome already puts you behind the curve.

[–]entrep40 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

OP is not saying that they operate with logic or reason though. He's performing experiments and recording the results. That's just being scientific. That's the kind of facts that the entirety of TRP is meant to be based upon - Looking at women's actions instead of their words. You can track emotions perfectly fine with numbers and spreadsheets. Women still respond in a predictable way to things emotionally even if it's not a logical way.

I don't see anything wrong with him doing this kind of stuff. He'll probably just uncover the same truths taught by TRP anyway. It is good for him to validate the knowledge with experience, as he's doing.

[–]cholomiteMod / BP Downvote Magnet-1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy

It all depends on what the variables are, and the kind of variables that actually get results can't really be tracked.

"I smacked her right ass cheek and I got a bj" "I smacked her left ass cheek and only got a handjob"

I would love to know the exact kind of data OP is actually tracking. How does one quantify maintaining frame?

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

You can’t. But I get it, he came from a fucking decade in a deadbedroom. Fuck. He liked the initial changes and started tracking it.

But he’s still in first grade and focusing on the wrong shit. Time to level up and let that shit go. Still has a lot to learn.

OP is missing the forest through the trees.

[–]Suck-Less[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

The initiated and time is easy. The rest was very subjective. Either case I trashed it. As many pointed out there are serious issues with tracking things like this.

At this point, she is taking care of what I need, and I’m still reading and experimenting. Shit tests have really dropped off, sex is where I want it, and I’m making an active effort to learn more.

I tracked things to see what worked, and what didn’t. How much dread to apply, etc. it actually was very useful but as pointed out: there are issues keeping that kind of data.

[–]cholomiteMod / BP Downvote Magnet1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'll keep it simple, women have sex when they are turned on, and with a guy they find attractive. Time, place, and anything else doesn't matter as long as you get those two things right, the rest won't matter.

You don't need to track data and other shit to make yourself into a more attractive and charming person, just be funny and confident and wear a good looking shirt.

[–]RStonePT0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

deleted What is this?

[–]Maximus_Valerius12 points13 points  (7 children) | Copy

I track all those same metrics. However, because I'm now the Captain, I've delegated the tracking and reporting functions to my wife (aka The Home Officer of Technology or "THOT"). As a female, RP teaches that she's better at predictive analytics and data modeling than I am. As a male, I'm better a data visualization and collating unstructured data. I created an smart phone app that gives me real-time remote user access to the cloud, so I can verify her progress while at work. We review her periodic reports just before our scheduled once-weekly sex time. Needless to say, it turns her panties into a virtual "data lake."

[–]johneyapocalypseThe one that says "Bad Motherfucker"2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

Virtual "data lake," lol, I like that.

[–]weakandsensitive2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Lol. Anyone that tells you they have a data lake is lying. It's usually more like a data swamp. And it's a high probability that it hasn't been cleaned up in years.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Drain the swamp..

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Not before you drain my balls

[–]RStonePT0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

deleted What is this?

[–]RStonePT1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

deleted What is this?

[–]becoming_alpha2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Needless to say, it turns her panties into a virtual "data lake."

Slow clap. That's next level nerdy cringe.

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret15 points16 points  (1 child) | Copy

I track how many gay spreadsheet posts there are

[–]InChargeManRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

What are we up to?

FWIW I track one binary data point, if my balls need to be drained.

[–]Cloudy_Pirate5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Nice job. You have the Dancing Monkey Routine down to a measurable science.

How my wife views me matters to me almost as much as how I see myself.

I use the above to see if I have my shit together, in her eyes

https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/74yepr/the_dancing_monkey_attraction_improvement/

https://www.rooshv.com/men-are-nothing-more-than-clowns-to-the-modern-woman

[–]SteelToeShitKickerRed Beret5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

I can see how you might want to do this. I also have my own autistic tendencies. However, it's counterproductive. It puts your focus on your wife, when your focus needs to be you. Here's what you need to track:

Are you happy with your relationship?

If yes, great. If no, you either need to 1) work on yourself more or 2) find a new woman. Or both. That's really the extent of how much you should be thinking about this.

[–]Suck-Less[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Now that I’ve made a good amount of adjustments, and her too, yes. Quite happy. Intelligent point though, thanks.

[–]RStonePT0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

deleted What is this?

[–]weakandsensitive3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Fuck me I'm so moist right now.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

"fuck yeah lets tick another box in my spreadsheet baby"

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy

I track how many times your wife sucks my dick.

Does Chad need a spreadsheet?

You really need to grow out of this man. You’re 51.

You are the Prize. Not her.

[–]dcon_snacks0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Seriously!

This is one of the most pathetic things I’ve seen. The fact he is tracking is proof of his deep insecurities. He needs to let that shit go and live in the moment.

[–]framelessglasses3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Please write another FR when you present your findings to your wife.

If your wife wants to write an FR about it, we might even make a exception for her.

[–]ChokingDownRPRed Beret6 points7 points  (13 children) | Copy

This is absolutely ridiculous OP.

When I started MRP, I tracked her cycle and # of times we had sex. After 3-4 months, I had learned all I needed to know and scrapped following it.

A few questions about your spreadsheet:

  1. Don't you have better shit to do?
  2. If she discovers that you are tracking all of this, how desperate and pathetic will you look-being so preoccupied with her vagina?

If you're not trolling us, scrap the spreadsheet and re-allocate the time you save to reading the sidebar...you're clearly doing it wrong.

[–]Suck-Less[S] 1 point2 points  (8 children) | Copy

This is probably the most constructive point I’ve read so far. Appreciated.

[–]ChokingDownRPRed Beret0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

I'm glad you found it constructive, but honestly, you deserve everything else that got thrown at you in this thread. You obviously aren't a red pill man yet. It appears you've read little to none of the sidebar. You're operating in your wife's frame and seeking validation in a major way. You probably get mad at her when you do the things that have worked in the past but still don't get laid? That's a covert contract, my friend. Expecting that if you push UP, UP, DOWN, DOWN, LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT, RIGHT, B, A, START she will fuck is a major problem...fix it ASAP.

Everybody here posts harshly because they were in your shoes and they know you need a good old fashioned kick in the ass. Take that as kicking and do something constructive with it!

[–]Suck-Less[S] -1 points0 points  (5 children) | Copy

If someone has something of value, critique or not, and can communicate like an adult, I have no issue listening. The rest just sound like internet alpha wannabes.

[–]ChokingDownRPRed Beret4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

No doubt there's a lot of that here too, but most want to help you see why what you're doing is clearly not in line with red pill principles. I'm a highly analytical person myself, so my natural tendency was to track and measure...until I realized that my wife (AWALT) is not a logical creature...she reacts to emotions, feelings, her sister's feelings, the feelings of some TV character, you get the point. Pushing the right combination of buttons doesn't unlock the pussy, so it isn't worth tracking success vs failure and trying to attribute it to what you did or didn't do leading up to it.

That said, I benefited immensely early on by tracking and developing a basic understanding of my wife's cycle - her libido was highly cycle dependent. Now we have good, frequent sex....but sex is best when she's ovulating.

As I said in my first response, I felt like I had learned her patterns within about 3 months and stopped tracking. Now, I just focus on doing the things that make me happy and she seems to want to be a part of that. Honestly, I don't even concern myself in the rare event she turns me down for sex anymore...I know and she knows that if it were to become a pattern, I could be in some strange by the weekend. Besides, it's her loss. Until you have true outcome Independence (you don't have it based on what you're tracking and why), you're still needy and she smells it a mile away!!!!!!!!!

[–]Suck-Less[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I’ll think about what you said. Thanks. That outcome independence doesn’t come naturally to a person that is very goal and outcome oriented. Things to learn...

[–]ChokingDownRPRed Beret5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

The problem with what you just said is that the outcome you're focused on is sex with your wife. The goal you might instead set is to be a man with a fulfilling sex life. If that's your goal, it doesn't matter if your wife turns you down...You can achieve your goal with or without her. You don't need to get butthurt when she turns you down, you will still have what you want...it just might not be with her. It's one thing to be outcome independent about one off sexual denials... It's better to achieve outcome Independence about your wife entirely. From the sound of your other posts, it seems you can't fathom things not working out with her. After a decade of dead bedroom, you owe it to yourself to consider that she may not be a special unicorn who completes you.

First sidebar reading for you should be ”No More Mr. Nice Guy” by Robert Glover... changed my life

Good luck!

[–]weakandsensitive4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Do you know why your wife won't fuck you? Because throughout this entire thread, you've demonstrated over and over and over again how you are the epitome of being an unattractive fucking nerd.

For example --

can communicate like an adult, I have no issue listening.

Bitch please. How is it my fault that you're too much of a whiny bitch to parse context and understand meaning?

I would be more than willing to bet money that you have exactly zero understanding of subtext, subcommunication, non-verbal cues, or flirting. Fuck, I feel for your wife. Putting up with your analytical self (read as: boring and lame as fuck) must be the worst chore in the world.

"ugh.. fuck. he wants to have sex again. it's only been 3 months. fine, let's just take the 5 minutes and get this over with."

You are the guy who deserves to be cheated on because her life is probably as dry as the Sahara desert. Also, sidenote, your wife is probably seriously easy to arouse if you're the competition. Do you know how to excite a woman by just looking at her? I guarantee you don't.

Finally - since you a fucking nerd, what do you think you're actually tracking? Do you think what you're tracking is rational, predictable, and definable behavior? You'd think you'd know better than to assume human beings are rational creatures. Not only are you a nerd, you're a shitty nerd at that.

[–]RStonePT0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

deleted What is this?

[–]dll1421 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Agreed... scrap the spread sheet. You won't have to keep track of this stuff when you get where you need to be, because you will just know. This practice of a spread sheet really isn't necessary unless you are some sort of researcher writing a doctoral dissertation or a scientific article about human behavior, and you need the data to back your research for publication purposes.

Read all of Rollo Tomassi's books (Rational Male series). His research is gospel and the way he writes about it really hits home.

Keep going, but be red pill for you. If you are doing it for her, she will smell it as fake and it will hurt your relationship more. Be a man of value and she most likely will come along. Most women will not leave a high value and improving man.

[–]coinbaserep0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

same. Tracked her cycle after our second kid before I got a vasectomy. We weren’t on birth control and tracked and used the pull out method combined with her ovulation schedule. Successfully did that for 2 years and also noticed a trend of how much much more sluttier she was willing to be during ovulation

But yeah op you need stop psychoanalyzing This

Track her period using the clue app also with the clue app you can check off her mood during the day and if you had sex

initiate often and track your success rates and mentally keep track of everything else

Just think how pathetic you would look when she finds your score card. Or anyone else for that matter

Track your own successes in the gym on a spreadsheet

[–]redwall920 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

We weren’t on birth control and tracked and used the pull out method combined with her ovulation schedule. Successfully did that for 2 years

You sir ... win the internet for the day. I did not know such unicorns existed.

[–]coinbaserep0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks. Pull out method takes a lot of skill and willpower

I don’t recommend it. I just dngaf as she wanted a 3rd child and I Figured if it was meant to be it would happen. Second child took 6 years to conceive

either way by the 2 year mark I decided it was time to

[–]Whiteliesmatter12 points3 points  (8 children) | Copy

I track everything that is important to me. I keep professional diaries, workout diaries, sex diaries, and whatever else comes up for a period of time I Feel is worth documenting.

Some people find tracking sex is pathetic. Some people here are saying track the leading indicators, not the lagging indicators like sex. But if you don’t track the sex how will you know if your leading indicators are working. I don’t know about you but I can’t remember what I ate and if I had sex or not a week in the future. If it helps you discover a relationship between what work you do and what results you see, do it. You are a big boy, you can figure out what is worth tracking to you and what isn’t worth it to you. Nobody else can answer that for you.

I bought a house recently, and I discovered that sex frequency cut I half after we moved in. Called my wife out on it. She tried to gaslight and said, no you are crazy we have just as much sex. I said no we don’t because we track it. She said, “that’s pathetic” I knew she would say that. I said, well I knew you would try to gaslight me when this happened, but that doesn’t work when I track it, and I considered that you would find it pathetic and I still decided to track it because I track most things I care about improving. You can think it is pathetic if you want, but the point is, I am not satisfied with the amount of sex I am having. I am not angry or upset with you, I am just not prepared to live a life without a thriving sex life. If we don’t get this sex life on track, I will get it elsewhere. I would rather have sex with you, but I am not at all prepared to have duty sex or infrequent sex. That isn’t the life I want to live. Then she said, but all my friends don’t have sex with their partners! And I said, I am not really interested in what kind of sex other people are having, I only know what I am willing to put up with and what I am not.

She understood. I wasn’t whiny, I wasn’t aggressive, I wasn’t pleading, I didn’t let her (predictable) tactics derail my message. Was it a sexy convo? Nope, and i didn’t use it to negotiate sex either. I wasn’t in the mood at the time. But i knew it had come to that point, and I wouldn’t have known for sure it had gotten to that point. But if you don’t have guiding boundaries, you end up being a boiling frog. Like my wife’s friends are apparently.

But yes, tracking sex isn’t sexy, and she will find it pathetic. But if you find it helpful, who cares what she thinks. Are you doing this for her, or are you doing it for yourself?

[–]weakandsensitive1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

I bought a house recently, and I discovered that sex frequency cut I half after we moved in. Called my wife out on it. She tried to gaslight and said, no you are crazy we have just as much sex. I said no we don’t because we track it. She said, “that’s pathetic” I knew she would say that. I said, well I knew you would try to gaslight me when this happened, but that doesn’t work when I track it, and I considered that you would find it pathetic and I still decided to track it because I track most things I care about improving. You can think it is pathetic if you want, but the point is, I am not satisfied with the amount of sex I am having. I am not angry or upset with you, I am just not prepared to live a life without a thriving sex life. If we don’t get this sex life on track, I will get it elsewhere. I would rather have sex with you, but I am not at all prepared to have duty sex or infrequent sex. That isn’t the life I want to live. Then she said, but all my friends don’t have sex with their partners! And I said, I am not really interested in what kind of sex other people are having, I only know what I am willing to put up with and what I am not.

Wow........................ can you crosspost this to thebluepill? This was a level of whining I don't even see from my 3.5 year old.

[–]Whiteliesmatter10 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Setting reasonable realistic expectations for your relationships and having the balls to actually enforce those personal boundaries and the options to go through with that enforcement is not the same as a 3 YO whining. It is having a backbone and standards for yourself.

She needs to know that although there is no pressure from my side, really if she decides she isn’t into it, I am ok with her leaving. But what I won’t stand for is her remaining after the sexual spark is gone, because she doesn’t want to venture out into the big world alone again. And thinking she could stop me from sleeping with others if she no longer has serious interest in it but wants to remain. I won’t sit around hoping and wishing and pleading her to sleep with me, being semi satisfied with he drip feed maintenance sex she may be planning on providing. I have done everything reasonably within my power to get my shit together and be the most attractive man I can be. If that still doesn’t float her boat, then I am ok with us looking for others. She isn’t mine, it was just my turn. Nothing whiny about that.

Remember, you can’t cheat on someone who doesn’t want to sleep with you. And you don’t need to sneak around hiding what you are doing. Didn’t we learn anything from NMMNG? “Don’t do anything in secret”. If you aren’t satisfied, tell them, and be prepared to do something about it. But it has to be credible and that only works if you put in the work on your MAP for years and you are truely a high value man. You can do your MAP with a covert contract and then leave silently when it doesn’t work or branch swing when someone else takes interest in you, or you can man up and just be upfront with your boundaries. But have your MAP reasonably solid when before you attempt what I did or it will backfire for sure. You need options because she probably will leave if you are low value and try that.

[–]weakandsensitive1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

.... do you realize that there are multiple ways of communicating? that not everything is a gantt chart? of course you don't - that's why you're a socially awkward retard.

[–]BarracudaRP0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Called my wife out on it

She said, “that’s pathetic” I knew she would say that

I said, well I knew you would try to gaslight me when this happened, but that doesn’t work when I track it, and I considered that you would find it pathetic and I still decided to track it because I track most things I care about improving

Holy fucking shit Whiteliesmatter1, you're in a worse place than OP. At least he's getting laid on the regular (although I'd have to check his spreadsheet to be sure).

Confronting your wife with this data is next-level autism, and if she's not talking to you about it, she'll be talking to us about it after she buys the first round. I'm not even trying to be a dick, so here's the subtext: your actions are making your situation worse.

[–]Whiteliesmatter10 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Haha she knows I am borderline autistic, that is why WISNIFG spoke so well to me, and I was able to internalize it so well.

At this point, I had run the whole MAP. Put 40 pounds on my frame lifting over the past two years, sidebarred everything, the good things twice till I was blue in the face, spent more time on my hobbies motorcycling, climbing, hunting, backcountry skiing, taken trips with the boys, almost doubled my already 9.9 percenter salary and bought a house and worked my ass off to make it nice for myself and her. Passive dread is 100 percent there to the point that she told me explicitly she was terrified that I would have an affair with a specific young co-worker who shows interest at every work event she attends...

Guess what? Sex still tapered predictably the whole time. This was a divorce contemplating talk, and we both mentioned it. It was to the point where I was done being a dancing monkey. I knew I was close enough to the best man I can be, and if that wasn’t sexy to her, I get it, no worries, I will find someone who thinks it is, and she can find someone she thinks is. Sometimes someone checks all the boxes but doesn’t quite smell sexy to you. It happens to me too, I get it! Nothing you can do if the hard chemistry isn’t there. No hard feelings. Maybe it isn’t my turn anymore. If you are going to draw a line in the sand, and for me that line was I will not lead a sexually unsatisfied life, then at some point you have to spell it out. But you need to be totally ok with her saying no, and her knowing that means you either leaving or finding other sexual partners. At that point I was so I wasn’t trying to seduce her. This was the “main event”, so I wasn’t really that worried about what she thought of it, or if she thought it was sexy or not. Maybe you are right, maybe that action made it worse, in fact, I was pretty sure it would. But the point I wanted her to understand is that I am not willing to live a sexually unsatisfied life, nor do I have to. I am not going to subject myself to monogamy if the current sex life remains the way it is.

[–]justpickanyusernameRed Beret5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

I use the above to see if I have my shit together, in her eyes.

Since you are familiar with Excel, setup Conditional Formatting for proper color coding. As soon as your metrics drop even a little bit into the orange area start doing more chores to brighten your wife's mood. Happy wife happy life am I right?

[–]Suck-Less[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Actually cleaning the house, and cooking is her job.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I track progress via naked selfies in the mirror.

Dont forget to take one from behind. That is the important one.

Check out your wives phone. I bet she has some of my pics on there.

[–]Maximus_Valerius1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

One risk associated with tracking outcomes that you have limited control over is that you may start to develop attachments to those outcomes. You also may start developing new covert contracts.

These attachments and covert contracts can result in suffering if the goal (over which you had little or no control over in the first place) is not achieved. This is the opposite of outcome independence (OI).

[–]Suck-Less[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is exactly why I deleted it. Being gnuPGP encryption I knew she would never be able to see it, but it dawned on me that I run the risk of either making my sex life he definition of my happiness or making her pleasure my metric.

[–]Reach180Red Beret2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

The Cut the Shit sticky is doing more harm than good.

[–]Suck-Less[S] -1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

Huh?

[–]Reach180Red Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Apparently I gave you too much credit.

Answer to your question: Don't track any of it.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (9 children) | Copy

To keep track of how my wife sees me consciously and subconsciously

Why the fuck do you care how she sees you? Christ man, you've learned nothing from TRP.

​

[–]johneyapocalypseThe one that says "Bad Motherfucker"6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don't be silly, he learned to track his wife using Excel.

[–]Suck-Less[S] -2 points-1 points  (7 children) | Copy

I’m always learning. Two things: 1. being someone that is in charge of his life, or what the internet seems to call an “alpha” isn’t the same as asshole, learn the difference. You are responding like a 12 year old. 2. How my wife views me matters to me almost as much as how I see myself. You can like that or not.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Seriously, WHY do you care?

For me, I can answer that question - it's about validation seeking behavior. I've been working to break this pattern of behavior and discuss it almost weekly in OYS.

Tracking data on a spreadsheet just seems to reinforce you being in her frame.

How my wife views me matters to me almost as much as how I see myself.

I care for my wife too, but I'm done with anyone else (including her) dictating my view of the world and how I judge my own actions. I fuck up a lot, but it's fucking up when I deem it's fucking up, not anyone else.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine9 points10 points  (5 children) | Copy

“How my wife views me matters to me almost as much as how I see myself”

Blue pill Faggot. That’s why you were in a DB for 10 years.

[–]dll1420 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Correct.... you're approval and validation seeking u/Suck-Less. Women HATE this! Validation and approval seeking are feminine behaviors, not masculine behaviors.

[–]becoming_alpha0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I track workouts, weights, reps, calories, macros, weight, BF%, and finances. Those are all for me to determine how I'm progressing toward my goals. The only thing I track from my wife is the start of shark week because I know I'll have an emotional storm brewing in 2-3 days. This isn't necessary and a storm could come any time, but it's a pattern I've noticed.

I use the above to see if I have my shit together, in her eyes.

Stop that. Figure out if you have your shit together yourself by looking in the mirror, not at her. This is basic level stuff. You're looking to her for your validation. Go read NMMNG (hopefully again).

[–]Suck-Less[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Haven’t read it yet. Still new here. I’ll add it to the list, thanks.

[–]becoming_alpha0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Dude, that's the first thing on the reading list for a reason. Don't put it on your list, buy it and start reading it right now. You seriously need to work on the basics.

Also, because you're new, read Steel's excellent MRP guide.

[–]alpha-zach0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Interesting approach. I don’t track anything but menstrual cycle. But for the love of all things good and holy, never let her find this spreadsheet. Instantly you’ll go back to a dead bedroom, and likely never recover.

[–]Suck-Less[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Already trashed... it’s a downside of working with data analytics.

[–]alpha-zach0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Lol. I wouldn’t trash it. Work with your strengths. But def be careful.

[–]Suck-Less[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Much of it I can handle separate: workouts stats, bf %, did I feel out of frame. Career is a non-issue. The rest I’ll stick with “am I getting what I need out of it” kind of data. Work in progress...

[–]screechhaterRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Wife made the comment the other day of me needing foreplay to come sooner, after our years of interactions of me keeping hard for hours.

“Who’d a thought a man would need that...” was my AM answer.

It illicited a smoking fuckfest of multiple orgasms, buckets of come and me screaming I was gonna fuck her in the ass the next time as I blew my load.

I don’t track shit. We don’t need toys and I fucking lift like it means something

[–]nuclearshart0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You must be a sperg yeah?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I currently track 32 high dividend yielding stocks with relatively quick and consistent recovery times, and their average stock value, while standing by for buying and selling opportunities.



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