Women in LTR's (married and cohabiting), how often would you have sex if it were just for you, and not for your husband's benefit?

damaskrose · 2019-05-08T21:59:41+00:00

Ok I guess it's only fair I answer my own question.

Yes, I have more sex for my husband's benefit. We have sex 4-5 times a week, if I didn't care about pleasing him it'd probably be 2 or 3 times.

I'm still attracted to my husband, if anything he looks better than when we first started dating. I still catch myself staring at him, but that doesn't always translate into wanting sex.

I'm your stereotypical low-libido, low-n, no-sex-without-emotional-connection type woman. I also have depression so that might make it worse. Every man I've ever been with has had a higher sex drive than me. To keep them happy, I've always been willing to have more sex than I want, act enthusiastic when I'm not, and indulge their kinks as long as they're not too weird or painful.

PennnyLame · 2019-05-08T22:03:20+00:00

Honestly? I couldn’t tell you. My love languages are words and touch so I often instigate sex because I know it’s a way to get those things in spades. I rarely say no because 1) he is good about not initiating when I seem exhausted or stressed and 2) I know he’ll get me in the mood. I also have been known to give an unreciprocated bj like 1x/week? I don’t know why... sometimes I just want to make him feel loved (and get compliments).

Bonus question: I think it’s pertinent to note I travel extensively for work. I have been in another state/country 13 out of the last 30 days and we have had sex/been sexually active 14 times in the last 30 days. (I have a mood tracking app where I log all of this.) I think he is hotter now than when we started dating.

Texastentialism · 2019-05-08T21:44:51+00:00

Varies from week to week depending on my cycle, how tired I am etc., but on average I'd say 1-2x a week would be fine with me.

How often do you actually have sex?

3-5x a week except when I'm on my period.

Is your husband still hot?

Yes.

pngmafia97 · 2019-05-08T21:48:43+00:00

Cohabiting & still young and horny and hot for each other (25m & 22f)

Having sex less often than I would like. I want 4-7x a week, depending on my cycle. He would want about the same; we have about equally high sex drives.

We used to fuck basically daily until he started his new job. He's been working 14 hour days and just doesn't have the energy for it anymore :(

He offers to eat me out instead, but I want the intimacy more than the orgasm. We have extra crazy sex on the weekends to make up for it.

Bonus: We actually have sex between 2-4x a week now. Yes, he is still hot, but not my husband, and not old and fat and boring either, so I don't think I'm the target audience for that q.

SmurfESmurferson · 2019-05-08T22:01:45+00:00

3 - 5 times a week, ideally

But life gets in the way, and we average 1 - 2. He's more than fine with that, as am I

exit_sandman · 2019-05-08T23:29:32+00:00

At least once a day.

And as long as neither one of us is out of town, that is exactly what we do, allowing for things like illness or whatever. This has been the case for years and years now.

Yes, he is still hot.

Edit: I am 44 and he is 48.

Littleknownfacts · 2019-05-09T02:18:12+00:00

It's hard to pin down exactly. The longer I go without sex the longer I can go without it. The more often I have sex the more I want it. So if my SO doesn't initiate the less sexual I feel and eventually I forget that sex is a thing. But when he keeps things sexy and I feel sexy, well I would call out of work for days because I just wanted to stay home and bang.

philomexa · 2019-05-09T03:40:02+00:00

I'm happy with every other day frequency, my husband would prefer everyday but the vag needs to recuperate and mentally I need a bit of longing.

We go through spurts of everyday frequency, generally when he returns from tour.

Yeah, he's still attractive to me, I really like his face.

FlavFal · 2019-05-08T21:55:18+00:00

How often would you have sex, if you didn't care about meeting your husband's needs?

Daily.

How often do you actually have sex?

Daily.

Is your husband still hot?

Yes. At 22 he better be hot and I take full advantage of that, multiple times a day.

nonnimoose · 2019-05-08T23:21:50+00:00

How often would you have sex, if you didn't care about meeting your husband's needs?

2/3 times a week

How often do you actually have sex?

2/3 times a week

Is your husband still hot?

He's hot enough for me. He makes me feel hot.

TheMedsPeds · 2019-05-10T15:19:22+00:00

During the honey moon period where the novelty hasn't worn off? I'd say 5-7 times a week. My libido is pretty high when I am going through the "can't keep my hands off you" stage and my brain is leaking happy chemicals and I just want to do all sorts of crazy stuff as often as possible.

Years down the road though, where you are comfortable and settled? Hell, I'd say 2-5 times a month. Gotta stretch it out in order to keep some sort of sexual excitement after fucking the same person over and over for years. It's less exciting at that point. I still can get joy and intimacy out of it. Just not as much as I do in the beginning phase.

lefactorybebe · 2019-05-08T21:56:25+00:00

We'd prolly have sex the same amount, but at different times. Like I don't like morning sex so much, but I'll do it for him, so we'd have less of that and more of other time of day sex lol.

We have sex like 2-4 times a week, depending. It can vary a lot though, sometimes well go a week and a half without, or do it six times in a week. He's usually very tired after work, and I often don't get home until pretty late so that can make things difficult. It all works out and we're both happy though. And yeah he's still hot.

[deleted] · 2019-05-08T22:02:32+00:00

Just me? Multiple times a week. Maybe once a day, but I can’t say that for sure. I don’t have s a very high sex drive on my own, but I love doing things for and with my SO and he can get me going from 0 to 100 in no time.

Depending on how busy the week is we can go multiple times a day (PIV or other sexual activity). Probably 5-6 times a week on average.

Electra_Cute · 2019-05-09T00:33:13+00:00

7-10 times a week, but that would probably vary.

shoup88 · 2019-05-09T04:06:02+00:00

4-5 times a week. So about 4-5 times more often than I’m having it now.

I have the high libido in our relationship. My husband is very attractive to me.

_Tumbleweed- · 2019-05-09T05:29:26+00:00

I would be happy with sex every day. In reality we have sex 4 - 6 times a week. Quickies during the week and more intense sex at the weekend.

My boyfriend who I live with is super sexy. I fancy him so much.

We’re both 24 with full time jobs, that probably matters.

Kittennoodle · 2019-05-09T14:51:04+00:00

I don't think sex works for women the way it does for men. I don't need to get off to enjoy having sex. I want as much sex as he wants. If it's once a week or four times in a day, I'm almost always happy to do it. I do like traditional sex though. We're having more of that since we're trying to have another baby. I suppose once a week of traditional sex is pretty awesome. Yes, I'm still very attracted to my husband. He is the top in my book. Can't say the same for me so it does lessen my ability to feel sexy when doing any sex act.

ChinaCatLogan · 2019-05-09T15:15:11+00:00

Almost everyday, I actually like sex and enjoy it with my partner. To each their own though.

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LordDunderhead · 2019-05-08T23:48:21+00:00

At least daily. My sex drive is pretty high.

We do have sex pretty much daily unless one of us got really exhausted at work or sick or whatever else. My husband is the hottest to me.

Orange_Paisley · 2019-05-09T05:31:04+00:00

I’m having less sex than I would prefer, since my partner has health issues that impact sexy times. I would be happy with 3-4 times a week, we do it about once or twice a week right now.

misiepatysie · 2019-05-09T08:16:41+00:00

If it were up to me I'd have sex every other day, or everyday. But for my SO's sake I manage to live with twice a week, he has a lower libido.

DarkLady789 · 2019-05-09T10:56:26+00:00

none. if it isnt on my terms, we are not having any.

ovaldoughnut · 2019-05-10T01:44:11+00:00

My husband and I have sex everyday, sometimes multiple times a day. That’s for my benefit. If it was just for his, probably 5-6 times a week.

That depends on when my period falls though, but even then there’s blowjobs.

Of course my husband’s still hot! I was in love with that man for 7 years before I even got to date him. Grew up together and all. I doubt there will ever be a time when he’s not hot.

NaturalQueer · 2019-05-11T17:04:25+00:00

Every single day maybe even twice a day. Three if we don't have work or class. Unless sick or otherwise unable of course

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