https://www.theatlantic.com/sexes/archive/2013/04/messages-of-shame-are-organized-around-gender/275322/

Messages of shame are organized around gender. For women, she said, there are whole constellations of often contradictory expectations that, if not met, are sources of shame. But for men, the overarching message is that any weakness is shameful. And since vulnerability is often perceived as weakness, it is especially risky for men to practice vulnerability.

What Brown also discovered in the course of her research is that, contrary to her early assumptions, men's shame is not primarily inflicted by other men. Instead, it is the women in their lives who tend to be repelled when men show the chinks in their armor.

"Most women pledge allegiance to this idea that women can explore their emotions, break down, fall apart—and it's healthy," Brown said. "But guys are not allowed to fall apart." Ironically, she explained, men are often pressured to open up and talk about their feelings, and they are criticized for being emotionally walled-off; but if they get too real, they are met with revulsion. She recalled the first time she realized that she had been complicit in the shaming: "Holy Shit!" she said. "I am the patriarchy!"

I think this author does a good job of realizing the confusing message men are receiving today. It appears to me that they are telling men to be open and vulnerable while simultaneously shaming men who do so. On top of that, they appear unapologetic of their exclusive attraction to personality traits traditionally associated with masculinity.

I would argue that due fact that men need sex to live a quality life, this leaves men with no choice. Personally, I would wear a propeller hat if women only slept with men who wore dumb hats. Clearly women bear responsibility.

I think that biologically and socially speaking, women often find themselves in a more vulnerable position, emotionally and physically, than men do. So therefore, the responsibility has been and will always be on men to provide emotional stability and protection.

Will women ever stop shaming male vulnerability? Will women ever be sexually attracted to the effeminate gay male personality? I think the consensus from the past few threads here is that men are built, not born. Why should men change to become more vulnerable when women don't reward that behavior? Why are women even advocating that men change?