Q4ALL: What are those who improved but got no success doing wrong?

RockinSocksII · 2017-09-20T21:07:02+00:00

Maybe they didn't improve the real problem. It's great if you make yourself attractive, but if you're doing something that makes people uncomfortable, you're still going to have a problem.

T_C_Throwaway · 2017-09-20T21:32:53+00:00

They are fixing the wrong problem and not their real weakness. Which shouldn't be too surprising: there's some reason they have their real problem in the first place! So if they haven't identified and fixed the meta-problem they'll just reproduce their weakness in their self improvement.

Take marathon running and lifting: nothing wrong with them inherently! But they are generally solitary hobbies that rely heavily on routine and discipline. Why did trail22 gravitate towards them? Because they help avoid his actual problem, which is that he's too uptight and not social and fun.

I'm not innocent here. By far the most effort I've put into "self improvement" has been losing weight and lifting. It's definitely helped, but there's a reason I'd rather put effort into obsessively recording everything I eat and performing repetitive physical actions to make numbers go up than actually going outside and talking to people.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2017-09-20T21:28:11+00:00

Like /u/trail22 who benches heavy, runs marathons, and still can't get women on dates.

but what does he do to be attractive to women?

he is a no fun, teetotalling, uncool dud with no personality. no amount of lifting will fix that.

WhiskersNT · 2017-09-20T20:27:27+00:00

They either hiding something else or just unlucky to be born disabled

DarkLord0chinChin · 2017-09-20T20:29:44+00:00

Short + race + autism = 9001 DMG instakill combo

[deleted] · 2017-09-20T23:29:44+00:00

what are those guys who improved but got no success doing wrong?

No experience.

Being inexperienced with women is their biggest sin. Beats all other points by far. Compared to the first time a late-bloomer finally manages to make-out with/sleep with/date a woman, the following will be smooth-sailing.

But because they don't understand it and because they have romantic delusions, they

refuse to lose their v-card to a practical girl or any girl that doesn't look like she could be "the one"

Why? Don't ask me. Ask them.

"Be attractive. Don't be unattractive"

They work on the "be attractive"-part, when they should be addressing the "don't be unattractive"-part.

I know that many of you find this rule dumb, but it is spot-on.

Just off the top off my head.

But again "no experience" is the real problem.

larrythetomato · 2017-09-20T20:55:24+00:00

A couple people are missing the key here: there is a massive delay in the markers of success.

Imagine you are a farmer learning all the right things, you have the equipment, you have measured the soil pH and added the right amount of phosphorus and nitrogen and you finally start planting some seeds. A week later you cry "Why haven't my corn sprouted yet?" It doesn't work that way.

If the people who are improving keep it up, and start racking up achievements, not just skills and knowledge, they will start to see more and more success with women. Women like guys who have accomplished an amazing thing. They really like guys who have accomplished many amazing things.

Love8Death · 2017-09-21T00:10:58+00:00

It's always been a combination of these:

They don't sexualize the woman
They don't touch, use kino, escalate
They don't know or play to their edge
They're not fun to be around
They cannot let go of parts of themselves that hold them back
They don't listen to experienced men often enough
They lack champion mentality, exhibit defeatist mentality

TheBookOfSeil · 2017-09-20T20:40:43+00:00

Could be a number of things. It could be that they type of person they are is only going to attract certain people that might not be in their location.

It could also be that, while they've improved, maybe it's not enough in comparison to the people in their location.

Someone who has "improved" their inside because they are incapable of improving their outside will still attract people, but because of who they are, not what they look like, so people that don't know them will probably never be, or have reason to be attracted to that person.

Littleknownfacts · 2017-09-20T21:37:46+00:00

Some of the guys are just really young. It's like they expect to be Casanova by 21 and that's just not realistic for most guys. Women prefer a guy who is a couple of years older than they are so at 21 his range is smaller than at say 26 or 27. Plus I'd say there's a bit of a dip around 22-23 as people transition from college life to the real world.

_eNeF_ · 2017-09-20T22:15:26+00:00

Logistics (Ain't got a car, questionable location, and have never had a place I can truly call home).
Money (I've been poor all my life, and living paycheck to paycheck generally although I've managed with government aide to save up to 2.4k as of recently).
Probation/Fines (Monetary setback)
Got robbed a few times (Bike was stolen, and 1k + credit card was stolen). Or potentially lost? That was a major setback
Psychological issues I personally would prefer to work through (Bastard child, textbook narcissist mother, verbal & physical abuse). This literally makes it difficult to emotionally connect with anyone regardless of how much we may have in common. Marijuana actually makes me feel earthy, full, and human instead of a human hull with just enough emotion.
Lack of trying/interest in all honesty. I get IOI'd all the damn time walking/biking to where I want/need to be. They're in cars most of the time or too young. (Actually got in trouble talking to a minor I thought was at least 18).
Oddly high inhibitions (There is zero chance I'd ever get any sexual experience sober). I've had natural flirtatious/kino situations where a lil' bit of grass n' booze was involved, but logistics and lack of proper "game" make me not even bother.

Basically if I had:

A vehicle (not a BMX bike)
My own lil' studio apartment or rooming house

I'd purchase an escort (I'm 24 and have never bothered dating or attempt to get in a relationship) to get my barrings (although I have confidence in my body/rhythm because I can dance), and hop on Tinder since I apparently look pretty damn good. I'd use my artwork as a selling point since I'm not the stereotypical extroverted party type (Never got the opportunity due to my upbringing).

Love8Death · 2017-09-20T23:00:32+00:00

Desperate guys do all that so called self improvement just to impress women and become more and more desperate and obsessed in the process. No one likes a desperate person.

If more guys stopped caring so much about what bitches think theyd soon find out its not that hard to get Punani when you're not a slave to it.

[deleted] · 2017-09-20T21:13:09+00:00

There is no one thing those kinds of people have in common. And even outside the possibility of simply people lying, it's impossible to accurately represent your personhood and life online. So it's anyone's guess what those kinds of guys are doing wrong. Besides, autistic men, disabled men, obese men, etc are all still capable of getting into relationships so it's not like we can point to one of those things and just say "that's it".

In the end, only they and the people around them truly know why they're not successful with women.

prodigy2throw · 2017-09-20T22:09:12+00:00

Social skills

[deleted] · 2017-09-20T22:41:29+00:00

Well in my case the answer was definitely undiagnosed depression & self esteem issues. When you think you're the problem and don't value your own opinion you'll be forever trapped in someone else's definition of your problems. I think there's a real pitfall in STEM where you can get detached from your own source of truth because of how solid a lot of the external info is.

Like yeah you can go through the motions (even the social ones etc etc) but if you're not living in & comfortable with your own point of view and treating all the RP stuff as just another safe script then it's not going to work.

Ironically the secret ingredient that makes all the RP stuff actually work is being yourself while you do it.

LittleWindowpane · 2017-09-21T02:20:43+00:00

if you weren't successful, you didn't improve. you just changed.

[deleted] · 2017-09-21T04:24:55+00:00

Instead of just kidding he should have tried to improve his social game. Lifting is great. But not a cure.

ppdthrowaway43 · 2017-09-21T06:38:33+00:00

who benches heavy, runs marathons, and still can't get women on dates.

That's because women are greedy sluts that only pick the best men. They want 6-6-8, 6 figure salary, 6 feet tall, and an 8 inch dick. It's infuriating.

AutoModerator · 2017-09-20T20:26:06+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

EliteSpartanRanger · 2017-09-20T21:49:01+00:00

If anyone can figure out then that would he great. Even my friends don't know why I'm still a virgin.

[deleted] · 2017-09-20T22:53:33+00:00

They care to much about what bitches think about them.

blackedoutfast · 2017-09-21T19:00:04+00:00

it could be a lot of different things. if we could go out and observe these guys IRL, it would probably be pretty obvious what he is doing wrong. but since we are basing everything off their own descriptions of themselves, their personal blindspots frequently keep any of us from identifying the real issue.

this blindspot is also what leads the incel-types to tend to incorrectly blame their issues on something like race or height or facial structure. they know they have an issue holding them back, but they don't even realize that they are socially awkward or act unconfident or don't escalate fast enough or whatever. they focus too much on very minor flaws that can't be changed, and that destroys their confidence, and then they do even worse with girls.

DarkLady789 · 2017-09-21T19:28:24+00:00

Hmm, I'll say they somehow forgot to change their attitudes twds women. Or their personality.

DarkLady789 · 2017-09-21T19:28:44+00:00

Hmm, I'll say they somehow forgot to change their attitudes twds women. Or their personality. Or both.

the_calibre_cat · 2017-09-22T03:24:47+00:00

Self-improvement is a great and necessary part of becoming an attractive man. Controlling one's thirst (i.e, not settling for the first hussy who waves her pussy fumes your way) is important, and...

...one has to ask. One needs to get good at socializing, breaking out of one's own little bubble, in order to slay some poon. If you don't ask her, you'll next to never be successful.

-AsadBajwa94 · 2017-09-22T03:50:50+00:00

Benching heavy ass weights doesn't make you attractive, jeez man. This is some elementary level shit. Tell your friend to start socializing and going to night clubs alone, if he's in damn good shape he needs to hit the clubs and start talking to girls one on one in that environment. Wear some nice polos, with khakis or better yet go wear a nice suit to the club and hit up some Latinas (those chicks are cool as hell) Edit: Only a minority of women find bodybuilder meat head types attractive. Most love athletic lean with low BF with a hard body.

[deleted] · 2017-09-23T13:06:21+00:00

They're probably ugly.

FairlyNaive · 2017-09-20T21:00:27+00:00

I dont like to sound like a populist, but a guy with no hands or legs is kinda married...

voteGOPk · 2017-09-21T02:26:41+00:00

ugly.

for men it's being short and ugly

for women being fat and ugly

Q4ALL: What are those who improved but got no success doing wrong?

Comments

Our hero fought like a lion and still got nothing for it.

Title	Q4ALL: What are those who improved but got no success doing wrong?
Author	perdictoma173
Upvotes	4
Comments	177
Date	September 20, 2017 8:26 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/71dxin/q4all_what_are_those_who_improved_but_got_no/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4all-what-are-those-who-improved-but-got-no.265992 https://theredarchive.com/post/265992