Don't you think all we discuss here are very, VERY first world problems?

BeyondTheLight · 2017-01-19T13:22:41+00:00

Well yeah no shit this whole sub is first world problems, this isn't /r/feedthestarvingafricanchildren. Pretty much all of Reddit's userbase is in Western countries, with the majority being in the US. Of course what we discuss will be relevant to those cultures. If you want a place to discuss the third world, an obscure Reddit community for gender dynamics isn't it.

disposable_pants · 2017-01-19T13:46:05+00:00

you have incels/low value men complaining because Stacey does not want to sleep with them

Obvious straw man is obvious. TRP men aren't fighting off hordes of average women and turning to TRP to try and sleep with supermodels; they're struggling to get consistent attention (or any attention at all) from even decent women.

It's analogous to wanting a stable job on a livable wage, not demanding a plumb job with a fantastic salary.

most of us live in first world countries. We have very good standards of living...

as first world people we should just count our blessings sometimes?

The very first thing people seek out once their basic physiological (food, water, shelter) and safety (security against violence, poverty, and ill health) needs are met is love and belonging. This last need may even override the first two in some situations. Quality relationships are a key part of being a mentally healthy person, so it makes no sense to trivialize their importance.

exit_sandman · 2017-01-19T13:22:57+00:00

Don't you think all we discuss here are very, VERY first world problems?

Of course, because only in the first world women are that uppity /s

[deleted] · 2017-01-19T13:36:21+00:00

Ok so yeah they probably are. Living in a third world country myself, I would say that more people here are worried about what they are gonna eat next rather than who to date.

BUT

SO WHAT

Let me expand a bit. If I am in an accident and break my arm and someone else gets into an accident and gets paralysed from the waist down. Does it objectively suck more for them - sure. Do I then need to shut up and not be sore - NO.

So yeah maybe the problems discussed by people here are first world - but that doesn't mean they don't matter and shouldn't be given time and place just because someone else in the world may have it objectively worse.

SmurfESmurferson · 2017-01-19T13:32:25+00:00

Of course.

I've spent a lot of time thinking about how pampered TRP men are that dating/gender dynamics are the biggest issue in their lives, and worthy of hours of online ranting.

Then I realize I'm on PPD, and am just as bad.

4Nova · 2017-01-19T13:27:34+00:00

The only peoples around the world that wouldn't think about these things are in the middle of armed conflict. Almost everyone on the planet contemplates sexual relationships as we are doing. We should all count our blessings, but we should also do it on our own time. I don't think there's a need to bring it up here.

bala-key · 2017-01-19T13:38:35+00:00

as first world people we should just count our blessings sometimes?

You make it sound like the question is how much fun we're having dating and fucking people. Just a little or tons?

As someone who found RP coming from /r/deadbedrooms I have a much more somber view of what's at stake when it comes to understanding "intergender dynamics". For me, it's not about maximizing Tinder matches, but about depression, addiction, divorce, breaking up families and fucking up children's lives in the process.

Candy_Kittens · 2017-01-19T13:59:55+00:00

Sex is a pretty integral part of human nature.

vandaalen · 2017-01-19T14:21:33+00:00

People in different situations have different needs. In other news: Water is wet!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow%27s_hierarchy_of_needs

[deleted] · 2017-01-19T16:02:17+00:00

you have incels/low value men complaining because Stacey does not want to sleep with them, and women talk about how some men don't give commitment etc.

No. It's "you have average men complaining that their wives treat them like shit.

"You have average men complaining that they followed all the rules they were given, did everything "right" according to the "rules" their elders told them to follow, and still can't even get average women to pay any attention to them. Because they were lied to.

"You have incels/low value men complaining that they were lied to as well, and that they can't even get ugly girls to pay any attention to them.

"You have average women complaining that they are married to average men who aren't all that sexy. You have sluts complaining that Chad won't wife them up. You have sluts complaining about being accurately judged as sluts and rejected as poor wife prospects."

Even a life with these 'average' 'post-wall' women or with a guy who does not look like Leonardo Di Caprio can be a perfectly good one so long as you are middle class, have a decent house, respect each other, DO NOT GROW FAT etc.

Pffffft. Women are the ones complaining about this. Not men.

how many male/female supemodels we bed,

Men are not the ones expecting to fuck or marry supermodels. That's women's wheelhouse.

goatismycopilot · 2017-01-19T16:13:05+00:00

In the Time Before Feminism, Welfare, and No-Fault Divorce, yes, all these things were first world problems. Men married women who were their rough SMV counterparts, had sex a couple times a week (whether she was attracted or not, whether she was really totally in the mood or not) and worked jobs they hated for families they loved.

Women married men they were not very sexually attracted to, had sex with their husbands. They had sex with their husbands not necessarily because their pussies were gushing, but because they actually cared about their husbands and because they understood what was expected of them, and took care of families they loved.

Men understood once they picked a girl, she was his and he was to take care of her no matter what. If he cheated he was expected to keep it seriously on the downlow, not embarrass her, not bring home an STD, and stay married to her. He was expected to not drink too much too often, not beat her, and support her.

Women understood that once they selected a man, that was it and she had to stay with him no matter what. Unless he was beating her, cheating on her openly, abandoned her, or was such a drunk that he couldn't work, he was it. It was her job to be nice to him, fuck him, feed him, and take care of his house.

There was no time to be depressed or have a personality disorder. If you had those things, you got up, put on your pants and did your fucking job. There was no time or money for therapy or worksheets or hugboxes or safe spaces. There was no time or money to even think about sexual market value and frame and how hawt he was and alpha/beta/omega/Greek alphabet or HB anythings.

Nobody got fat, at least not too much. There wasn't enough food to eat for anyone to get fat. There wasn't enough money to buy enough food for people to get fat. The food you did eat wasn't processed within an inch of its life. You went out to eat maybe once or twice a month.

Kids walked or rode their bikes everywhere. Play for kids was physical. TV sucked even worse then than it does now with only 3 networks plus PBS (which didn't count), and because you had an antenna it didn't work during a storm or the wind moved the antenna. You didn't spend lots of time in front of a TV because there was nothing to watch. You went out with your friends or you rode your bike places.

Most people got married and lived OK lives. The few who were sluts or cads lived on the fringes of society. The few who were true unfortunates and unwanteds, whom no one wanted to marry, went into religious orders or worked low value, low prestige, low paying jobs. The weirdos and freaks became Spinster Sally working as a teacher and living with her older brother; or Crazy Uncle Paul who lives in the attic and watches the game on his 12" black and white and lives off his SSI payments. He has something called "battle fatigue" or "shell shock" from the war. No one really talks about that, though. We just take care of him because he's part of the family.

Everyone knew who the weirdos and freaks and crazies and retards were, the ones who were not relationship material, the ones who weren't going to marry. Everyone just kept an eye on them and put firm societal guardrails and containments on them so they didn't get out of hand.

Everyone knew who the sluts and the hookers and the cads/libertines and the junkies were. You just steered clear of them; or you fucked them if you got a chance, or you hung with them occasionally. But you took care not to be associated too closely with any of them.

Grandma and Grandpa lived with you, or they lived in the same town. You saw them every day, or every week. They ate with you, lived with you, got you to school and baby sat you. When they got old you visited them in the hospital or nursing home and you were there when they died. You actually saw them die. Same with lots of your older relatives.

Not so anymore....

nomdplume · 2017-01-19T17:16:31+00:00

so long as you are middle class, have a decent house, respect each other, DO NOT GROW FAT etc.

Those are not insignificant bars to clear, though. Many struggle with some or all of those criteria.

Additionally, I would say that, yes, the drive towards survival and physical safety/security/comfort can be the most primal for some, but the drive towards sex/mating/social support can be pretty primal as well.

Loneliness has been shown to have very adverse affects on one's life, and being with someone who, say, has no respect for you and is unsupportive or antagonist is even more detrimental than being alone in life.

These problems are in fact very problematic.

Third-world country men are volunteering to blow themselves up because they feel they have little access to life with women (it's no accident that martyrs are promised 70 virgins or whatever).

Eastuss · 2017-01-19T13:55:16+00:00

Sex is a primal need for life, it's not a first world problem.

Not getting sex in USA is just like not getting sex in the rural areas of china. You're not getting sex and you're unhappy. The difference is in china they're not getting sex because there aren't women, in USA you're not getting sex because they're unwilling. It makes sense for the chinese man to move, and it makes sense for the american to adapt his behaviour.

Perfectly legit stuff.

Also consider that surviving is kind of a binary thing, but sex can actually always be optimised.

GeekyFeministDork · 2017-01-19T15:44:50+00:00

As the white population in the west drops and is replaced by refugees and mestizos first world problems will become third world problems

STFranticA · 2017-01-19T14:27:35+00:00

I lurk here because I like to look for those users who have crossed the line from complaining to outright despising the opposite sex. I think it is important do understand where feeling like that come from. Its easy to cast it off as first world entitlement, but I think that there are some very confused people out there who really suffer from trying to navigate a world of complex gender dynamics.

That's why so many people on here want to assert that there are consistent rules/traditions regarding sex, or that there are fixed biological explanations for everything. People want to simplify the world so that they feel more comfortable operating in it.

DarkLord0chinChin · 2017-01-19T14:50:05+00:00

Feminists hate men and have the capacity to create anti-man laws. This may be a first world problem, but it's important nonetheless

[deleted] · 2017-01-19T15:23:16+00:00

Thats precisely why I come here. I like to argue and I find it find it relaxing how low stakes the topics are here: whos banging who etc.

shoup88 · 2017-01-19T15:34:51+00:00

Who cares? We're largely first world people.

hakosua · 2017-01-19T16:59:49+00:00

Obviously, most of what we discuss here are very first-world problems. But let's not over-romanticize people in the third world either. Just because you're hungry doesn't mean you can't also be horny, angry, envious, or lonely. The themes we tend to dwell on most are simply human, not exclusively first- (or second-) world.

With that said, gratitude is a protective factor from a psychological perspective and people on this sub do tend to have a lot that they could be grateful for. In my experience, it's difficult to convince anyone else to be grateful. But if we all opted to take some time out personally to give thanks for what we've got, we'd be better off for it.

So, at risk of coming across as pollyannaish, here's today's list of first-world shit for which I am genuinely grateful: dry wool socks, caffeine, the ability to contact both my parents, an iPhone, high-speed wireless, clean tap-water for expressos, expressos, caffeine, and caffeine.

wtknight · 2017-01-19T19:38:48+00:00

No. People are interested in this kind of thing in the third world too unless they're in countries where it's so bad that day-to-day survival is not guaranteed.

AloneOnTheStrange · 2017-01-20T02:25:40+00:00

Though you don't explicitly state it, it sounds like you're only addressing red pillers complaints as being first world problems. I think we can agree that blue pillers are guilty of the same.

They complain that terpers look down on women with high n-counts. In third world countries women with high n-counts get stoned to death.

They complain about terpers using dread and negging to pump and dump. In the third world guys just rape and capture sex slaves to get laid.

They complain about incels whining. In the third world incels drive cars full of bombs into schools.

Saint_Chad_of_Mercia · 2017-01-20T08:15:38+00:00

Unfortunately, this isn't how humans work.

If human nature was about looking at the bigger picture, then there would be no such thing as poverty, or extreme wealth disparity, and everyone would access to advanced amenities and social services.

We only care about looking after number one, and we have an entitled baseline which keeps on moving up and the entitlement progresses.

Mark Zuckerberg said "A squirrel dying in front of your house may be more relevant to your interests right now than people dying in Africa." And he's absolutely correct.

AutoModerator · 2017-01-19T13:19:40+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair, just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

FairlyNaive · 2017-01-19T13:22:25+00:00

Human nature is insatiable

goatismycopilot · 2017-01-19T13:48:12+00:00

My job tends to keep me in check if I slip into feeling sorry for myself over whatever personal things are causing me real or imagined distress. I have a roof over my head, I love my dog, I have a some decent friends, I am healthy enough to go to the gym, I have not a ton of money but enough to go out on the weekend and do the dorky things I like doing, I make enough to put away in a 403B, right now at least I am not sick. I have a ton of shit to be actively grateful for.

I try to work that into my day and do a stop, drop, and roll or use that focus in meditation if I am feeling frustrated by the daily grind or when people disappoint me.

rreliable · 2017-01-19T17:31:55+00:00

Feminism isn't as much of a problem in the third world, which is why their governments have not been overthrown by outraged men.

Men and women in the third world try to get along, by and large. Only in the first world does the government foment a war between the sexes.

[deleted] · 2017-01-19T18:26:39+00:00

i guess no one has time to talk about the red pill in places like Syria or the Congo or North Korea, cuz you know...

no food
no clean water
corrupt govt slaughtering its own people
NO INTERNET

things like that.

voteGOPk · 2017-01-19T20:19:14+00:00

so what?

[deleted] · 2017-01-19T23:46:37+00:00

First world problems are a real thing. We create so much stress upon ourselves that we must likely live less fulfilling lives then other cultures.

The happiest people I know seem to be Amish

[deleted] · 2017-01-19T23:56:43+00:00

But honestly, most of us live in first world countries. We have very good standards of living. Even a life with these 'average' 'post-wall' women or with a guy who does not look like Leonardo Di Caprio can be a perfectly good one so long as you are middle class, have a decent house, respect each other, DO NOT GROW FAT etc.

Are you really telling men to settle with women they aren't attracted to because an average or post-wall woman can be a perfectly good enough as long as you have a decent house and a job?

You realize that you're essentially promoting prostitution? If a man has to pay to have a pussy in his life why the fuck would he pay for an average woman? Because she's not fat? Average is average. A house is far more valuable than a hatchet wound that bleeds for a week once a month.

Don't you all think that yes, discussing these things is fun, but no matter what we look like or how many male/female supemodels we bed, as first world people we should just count our blessings sometimes?

Nope.

EchoZeroEleven · 2017-01-20T02:18:40+00:00

If it's a "1st world" problem, labeling it as such doesn't take away the pain. It still requires resolution.

I will let Victor E. Frankl explain:

"To draw an analogy: a man's suffering is similar to the behavior of a gas. If a certain quantity of gas is pumped into an empty chamber, it will fill the chamber completely and evenly, no matter how big the chamber. Thus suffering completely fills the human soul and conscious mind, no matter whether the suffering is great or little. Therefore the "size" of human suffering is absolutely relative."

trpobserver · 2017-01-20T02:22:51+00:00

Whats wrong with that? Do we have to spend all day complaining about the problems of those who have it worse than us?

fredgravy · 2017-01-20T02:38:53+00:00

Absolutely..

Does feminism even exist in the third world?

They breed at a young fertile age for the best possible chance of their offspring.. and usually have multiple children because that would greater the chance of the bloodline continuing..

They still operate under the natural law of survival..

SirNemesis · 2017-01-20T04:18:38+00:00

Actually not really. SMP issues matter a lot regardless of what class you're. Find some incel dude in India who has trouble affording enough food, and his biggest complaint will still be about how he can't find a wife.

OGHuggles · 2017-01-20T04:35:11+00:00

Feeling content is a disease IMHO. Fear, insecurity, and desire are what force man to exalt his station.

Though I do think gender/race/religion issues are a stupid waste of time. An ideal world would understand the shallow nature of these characteristics and throw them out entirely. I think halting the aging process and developing super intelligence are far more important than the oppression Olympics tbh.

[deleted] · 2017-01-20T05:48:12+00:00

Every one has a problem to deal with. Being content with where we are leads to no where. Instead of focusing who is the bigger victim, we are better of finding solutions to our problems.

theiamsamurai · 2017-01-20T16:26:36+00:00

You mean like when women complain that men don't pay for them on dates and sink their resources into them for absolutely nothing in return? There's CERTAIN women here who do that.

[deleted] · 2017-01-21T07:01:13+00:00

Society can only reach toxic levels of gynocentrism in the first world. Everywhere else has actual issues to deal with, so they can't really waste time on equality.

No equality means gynocentrism stays at a healthy level and there's little need for "game" for the bare minimum of sexual success.

[deleted] · 2017-01-22T00:33:33+00:00

There are definitely first world problems. But you know, even the starving African usually has a wife and child in his life. His society is oriented towards some sort of stability at least in this realm.

Most Western men do not, even though many want it. That's not a first world problem, that is the denial of a basic human urge to form bonds with the opposite sex and procreate. The reason it's complicated is completely first world (modern western women would simply be killed or married off at 13 in a primitive or third world society), but the issues people are having would impact men anywhere in the world in the same way.

hytmen · 2017-02-01T21:00:09+00:00

OP, would you say not being able to get women that you find attractive to be a first world problem? They don't have to be the hottest girls, but they have to be attractive enough that you're at least somewhat happy to get a date with them.

Title	Don't you think all we discuss here are very, VERY first world problems?
Author	GeekyFeministDork
Upvotes	10
Comments	137
Date	January 19, 2017 1:19 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/5owics/dont_you_think_all_we_discuss_here_are_very_very/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/dont-you-think-all-we-discuss-here-are-very-very.270538 https://theredarchive.com/post/270538

Comments