...or if the man unknowingly married a slut, and then becomes disgusted with her after finding out details about her past later down the line, or tragically, even after he marries her.

It's actually quite common, especially on reddit. there are men posting in /r/relationships or a similar sub, and talk about how disgusted he is that his wife used to be a promiscuous slut in her "college years", and now she only has boring missionary with him once a week if hes lucky

Or a woman will go crying into /r/relationships complaining about how her BF/husband found out about her gangbang in college, and now he refuses to touch her, or he flat out tells her that she's disgusting and then breaks up with her.

Immediately, and almost without fail, women will chime in and call the man, in either case, insecure, i.e. "he's just insecure about himself, your n-count doesn't matter, if he can't handle it that's his problem, etc, etc..." The "I" word is immediately used to shame the man for his attitude about her sexual past.

However, isn't it insecurity on the part of the women who hide their past in the first place? Women, it seems, can never bridge the cognitive dissonance between "my past doesn't matter" and, when asked if they would tell their partner their true n-count, they say no, they wouldn't. Well, why not?

Why do women feel so compelled about shaming men for being "insecure" about women's n-counts, but women see no incongruence with "insecurity" in her lying about it or hiding it in the first place? Isn't that even more "insecure"?