Straight women with less than 3 partners, how much do you care about your man's sexual partner count?

Ultimatethroway · 2014-12-16T01:05:49+00:00

5 and up is a dealbreaker for me to be honest. Luckily, my partner has only had 2 partners including me, and we got married pretty young.

luridlurker · 2014-12-16T01:10:25+00:00

how much do you care about your man's sexual partner count?

I care a lot. STDs and all that...especially since there's no test for HPV guys can take, and there's lots of things condoms don't protect against. A high number (3 or more in a few years) would indicate a problem to me.

For any guy, I'd have to understand his reasoning for why he felt the need to sleep with multiple women. Validation? That's a self esteem problem I don't want to deal with. Just to get his rocks off? Ok, but then how does he view women? Was he respectful of the women he was with, or does he see them as something he uses to get off? Etc.

Edit:

Realzb4feelz

As for my husband, he had slept with 2 women before us. We openly discuss past relationships regularly and I feel very comfortable with how he treated and how he views his exes.

mareina · 2014-12-16T17:09:52+00:00

My count is two (including my partner) and my partner's count is 3 (including me)

I find guys who sleep around to be skeevy. I know the red pill says I'm supposed to be impressed with them, maybe some women are, but lol, no, not me.

[deleted] · 2014-12-16T03:27:10+00:00

I don't care about the number itself as much as an individual's attitude towards sex. A man who's slept around a lot is less likely to view sex the same way as me--as something special and intimate to share with someone you really love. If my boyfriend had been into casual sex, he probably wouldn't have been willing to wait as long as I needed him to before we started sleeping together.

veronique7 · 2014-12-16T04:21:45+00:00

I have had three partners but... It matters a lot to me. I don't want a guy who has slept around a lot in the past. I want a guy with similar values as mine. I am not into casual hookups and don't take sex lightly. So I want a man who is the same.

OfSpock · 2014-12-16T01:17:04+00:00

A fair bit. We both have the same number.

DevilishRogue · 2014-12-16T04:37:42+00:00

It's a red flag and a turn off.

I don't know why RP men think women with low partner counts want to marry a man that spends his time hooking up with women. The values are different.

My husband had very few.

Now, if I found someone and we clicked, were in an LTR and then he told me, I wouldnt dump him because of that. He would have already shown himself to be someone worthwhile .

wombatinaburrow · 2014-12-16T00:54:03+00:00

I took a few months and a fair bit of convincing that his tomcatting days were behind him before I let him in the front door.

usobitter · 2014-12-16T02:15:03+00:00

Quite a bit. I'd prefer someone who's had three or less partners, preferably all ltrs. I wouldn't be adverse to someone who had a few one night stands or fwbs though, lots of people like to have fun and figure out what they want in life during their late teens and early twenties. How he views and treats women and past partners would be much more important to me because that lets me know so much more about his character. But just partner count isn't all that matters when choosing an SO, many other things factor in to what makes us compatible. So though partner count is important, it wouldn't be a deal breaker.

am_thro_way · 2014-12-16T02:09:55+00:00

Not much to be honest, never asked my boyfriend what his partner count is. I know he's had at least one girlfriend before, but no history of casual sex afaik.

give_me_shinies · 2014-12-16T09:32:58+00:00

Quite a bit.

[deleted] · 2014-12-17T17:33:58+00:00

To be honest, I would prefer to date a (voluntarily) virgin man because I think innocence is an attractive trait and because, in my experience, we probably have the same morals concerning relationships and sex.

lisfb · 2014-12-16T02:33:15+00:00

I really don't care about how big or how small a guy's partner count is. Other things take precedence in determining if we're even getting to the stage of sleeping together (I care about how well we match up, being/remaining disease free, knowing that he's on good-neutral terms with his past partners and was respectful in regards to the type of relationships he had with them, etc).

sleuthoftrades · 2014-12-16T01:19:54+00:00

Do straight women differentiate between female and male partners? Would you rather a man have 5 male partners rather than 5 female partners?

I ask, because personally and by the accounts of my friends, a woman with 10 female partners and 2 male partners would be preferable to a woman with 8 male partners.

[deleted] · 2014-12-16T15:25:21+00:00

More than a couple and any casual (noncommitted) experience would have been a dealbreaker for me. Fortunately I found a cute guy and we've only been with each other and want to get married. FTW

tomatostew · 2014-12-16T02:28:12+00:00

I don't really care. I focus on a few other things that I find to be more important:

Do I like him? Do I want to have sex with him? Will he use a condom? (very important), Is he free of disease? (high partner count does not automatically = diseased) and finally, will/ do we have mutual respect?

After I have my answers to those questions, it doesn't matter to me how many people he's been with before.

LeaneGenova · 2014-12-16T07:45:22+00:00

I care quite a bit. Because I have no STIs, I want and value the same in a partner. The risk goes up the more partners they have. Beyond that, I don't really care. I'm the one witb him, and that's that.

[deleted] · 2014-12-17T23:49:58+00:00

If a man said most of these responses he'd be labelled "insecure" or a "jerk"...

[deleted] · 2014-12-18T17:14:43+00:00

It's more about shared values to me. A man could have really slutted it up, as RPers say, but if he begins to see sex as something of more than just a partner count, I wouldn't rule him out automatically. But he would have to really prove a change in values and that wouldn't be a small task. If a guy with a low partner count sees sex as just a way to dominate and boost his ego, that would still rule him out to me.

My husband and I both have low partner counts, not coincidentally, we have a shared value about sex. It's worked out well for us.

17b29a · 2014-12-16T03:03:00+00:00

sexual experience is always cool i guess but dont care other than that

although im bi and not some ewwie str8 person so i guess i dont count...

SirNemesis · 2014-12-17T01:05:10+00:00

Watch the response bias on this one skew the results.

GiveMeABreak25 · 2014-12-16T14:38:26+00:00

I am actually surprised at the top comments so far. I don't know what I expected but I guess the age of the person commenting is a factor.

If you are a woman in your 20's, I suppose 3 or less isn't impossible. But people date all throughout their lives. If I met someone with a partner count of 3 or less in his 30's/40's (unless of course, if he had been married) that would set off completely different red flags.

Ultimatethroway · 2014-12-16T01:33:42+00:00

How could an attractive man in his 20s have a "low" partner count? I can't even imagine this man.

Straight women with less than 3 partners, how much do you care about your man's sexual partner count?

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Title	Straight women with less than 3 partners, how much do you care about your man's sexual partner count?
Author	cvcv1991
Upvotes	12
Comments	164
Date	December 16, 2014 12:40 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/2pf0j7/straight_women_with_less_than_3_partners_how_much/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/straight-women-with-less-than-3-partners-how-much.284092 https://theredarchive.com/post/284092