Is it possible to earn the respect of your spouse or your partner without raising your voice on them?

QueenCousland86 · 2019-11-15T21:54:16+00:00

I have had a man shout at me once. He was single directly thereafter. If you cannot disagree without raising your voice, you're immature.

goatismycopilot · 2019-11-15T19:13:58+00:00

If you are shouting you have already lost.

finch2200 · 2019-11-15T19:18:09+00:00

I think you may be confusing respect with intimidation.

Texastentialism · 2019-11-15T19:19:18+00:00

I've been with my husband for nearly 8 years and neither of us has ever once raised our voice or shouted. We have definitely been angry, we have been cruel, we have had fights that terrified me to my core but we have never once shouted at each other.

I respect him because he conducts himself as a person worthy of respect and has proven himself to be capable and competent over and over again. He's not afraid to set a boundary, he's not afraid to tell me I'm being unreasonable or when I'm pissing him off. I know exactly which lines I can't cross and what will happen if I do. He has shown me all of these things through his actions and steady enforcement of his boundaries over the years, not by yelling at me.

Haelester · 2019-11-15T19:09:44+00:00

Shouting is the fastest way to lose her respect. Gaining respect is easy. Be reliable be trustworthy, keep your word, work hard and be attentive to her needs. Do just some of those and she will respect you

PennnyLame · 2019-11-15T19:14:57+00:00

Of course. The ability to stay calm when emotions are heated is very admirable.

Orange_Paisley · 2019-11-15T19:17:24+00:00

Yes. You can be logical, sensible, and fair without ever raising your voice. You can shut someone up with a single phrase. You can also say, “I can’t talk to you right now” and walk away if they start shouting at you,

87AudreyHorne · 2019-11-15T19:57:56+00:00

If a guy shouted something negative at me I'd fuck him off

yasee · 2019-11-15T19:07:00+00:00

Yes? What context are you imagining shouting at your partner in?

angels-fan · 2019-11-15T19:15:47+00:00

Of course.

Not being a doormat and having boundaries doesn't mean shouting all the time.

Set your boundaries, lay out the consequences for crossing those boundaries then calmly enforce those consequences.

pngmafia97 · 2019-11-15T19:16:25+00:00

i respected my partner far more before he started raising his voice at me. not because of the volume but rather the shit that comes out of his mouth at high volume tends to be really stupid/irrational/overly emotional because it’s anger fueled.

2019-11-16T04:07:18+00:00

Why would you let your emotions get the best of you like that, it's unattractive. Quite frankly, it's effeminate. I wouldn't do anything to warrant someone shouting at me, cause I'm a reasonable normal non sociopathic person, and if they did, I'd assume they were insane.

Also it depends on the relationship dynamic you have set up. If your woman is high conflict, more aggressive, she'll probably respond better to aggression cause it's familiar to her. Personally, I'm okay with getting slapped once in a while, I could still respect my partner cause I'm into that and it's preferable to shouting at me or scolding me like an animal.

2019-11-16T07:27:24+00:00

Yes.

Step 1: Know how to speak calmly and respectfully and assertively

Step 2: Dump anyone who escalates respectful interactions into disrespect repeatedly.

Here's the thing. TRP has this idea that women are children who need to be managed and treated like children. This idea is based in a really fucked up and unhealthy viewpoint on children themselves, dehumanizing kids and treating *them* like they're less of people than they are. So when you apply that same thinking to an adult, you're being SUPER fucking disrespectful by default just in your presence in dealing with women.

The only women who will accept that behavior are women who have been conditioned to accept and excuse explicit and open disrespect. Women who never challenge the idea that they're better in that. TRP methodologies specifically target damaged people. Which is a huge part of the reason TRPers have such a negative view of dating.

There are two kinds of respect. The earned kind, and the default kind. The default kind is basic human decency and respect. It's expecting someone to show up, be on time, keep their word, etc. If someone isn't showing you default respect, gtfo.

iamprosciutto · 2019-11-16T02:51:06+00:00

Absolutely! I never shout, even when I'm beyond frustrated. Standing up for what you believe in, being honest and straightforward, being a hard worker, being there for her, and not letting her control you will make her see you as a capital-M MAN. That's not to say you shouldn't compromise with her, but being you for you first is what separates an "alpha" from a "beta." All shouting does is show that your point of view needs some level of intimidation to be valid. If you're wrong, just admit it. Also, be Laconic whenever possible.

dylang92 · 2019-11-16T14:27:50+00:00

Yes, my gf and I don’t ever yell at each other and we respect each other. We don’t put each other down, belittle , or bully each other. I’m starting to suspect a lot of people on here have never had a healthy relationship.

hshsvdhsiabs · 2019-11-16T16:07:35+00:00

Yeah it is possible you just have to be honest and speak in a mature way without sugar coating things. I personally have a lot of bad memories of my dad yelling and now I panic when somebody yells so if a man did that to me I’d definitely leave and probably care less about what he actually said rather than if he just said it.

Sepean · 2019-11-16T20:10:08+00:00

Respect is mainly earned by having high SMV and options, being willing to leave and enforcing boundaries by withdrawing affection.

Yelling achieves nothing without the above. Nobody respects an angry man with no power or follow through.

k995 · 2019-11-16T23:05:54+00:00

Of course why would shouting be the only way? And how to get her respect depends on the situation.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2019-11-15T21:30:19+00:00

Here is why it never works to ask women these questions. When you talk about men behaving aggressively or violently or shouting and things like that, women will always imagine what I call the Beta hit. The Beta hit is provoked out of a man after extensive needling and button-pushing by the woman. It is viewed by women as weakness because it is. She has elicited it against his will and he has snapped. an important detail to the beta hit is he feels BAD about snapping, this is key. This is always a victory for women and is always seen as weakness by women

what I call the alpha hit is different. It is preemptive and not actually provoked by prolonged bad behavior by a woman but the immediate instantation of it, or even unjustly without provocation, just accusation. The alpha hit comes the second a woman shows disrespect.

Former Beta males need to be taught stoicism because they are only able to engage in the week provoked Beta hit, it is better for them to never even try to be aggressive. It is very good advice for Beta males but it is not how masculine or alpha males act

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Coldinhear · 2019-11-16T06:06:43+00:00

A better question would be is it possible without cheating on her

spawnofthedevil · 2019-11-16T17:19:15+00:00

I think the better question is is it possible to respect your spouse or partner and raise your voice at them.

toddfan420 · 2019-11-19T18:41:57+00:00

men have to be freaking amazing. they have to somehow evolve past their evolution to become enraged at injustice in their own homes. sad but true.

the woman can do all sorts of crazy fucked-up BS and if you get rightly mad and lose your cool, you look like the asshole and she laughs at you, and it's evidence that you are just so broken and immature.

and if she's yelling, you better believe the only reaction allowed is capitulation

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2019-11-15T19:08:37+00:00

yes if your exhibiting backbone in other ways sure

women really only respect out of fear tho

Pontifex_Lucious-II · 2019-11-15T22:54:51+00:00

At some point you will have to take a stand for people to respect you. “Raising your voice” generally is involved in such a process.

Title	Is it possible to earn the respect of your spouse or your partner without raising your voice on them?
Author	abond0082
Upvotes	0
Comments	94
Date	November 15, 2019 6:05 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/dwuh30/is_it_possible_to_earn_the_respect_of_your_spouse/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/is-it-possible-to-earn-the-respect-of-your-spouse.295751 https://theredarchive.com/post/295751

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