Our culture conflates two separate issues constantly and that is what is leading to the great confusion over casual sex in this sub.

The issues are:

(a) the access to the sex market for men

(b) men having low self esteem and other mental issues trying to use casual sex in order to receive validation.

When you are still young it makes sense to tie these two problems together, since the later will severely hurt your chances with women when you are still too young and don't have better alternatives, and so treating both problems at the same time sounds like a smart thing to do.

As men mature though and especially when they hit the 30's mark, it increasingly becomes beneficial to treat these problems as separate ones (if the second one still exists that is).

There is also a lot to be said about how effective it is for men with self esteem issues to try and use sex with women as a crutch for their self esteem, but that is for another topic of discussion.

What baffles me is the constant preoccupation in the culture with casual sex, when it is a known fact that every average Joe from a western country with a bit of intellect can have comparable results to the top 5th percentile easily by scoring a decent enough job that allows him to work from remote.

And even if you decide that it is not for you and you want to stay in the US and choose this lifestyle, you will still beat 99% of married men in terms of quality of life if you factor in all the future expenses on larger house, cars, vacations, children, etc... that you are saving, which will allow you to spend these savings on young and attractive women.

For every year going by, the married man's situation will progressively worsen while yours will stay the same or even improve, his wife will progressively loose her looks and sex will naturally dwindle while your options will remain fixed and you will continue having sex with young and attractive women so long as you have the means to do so.

You are welcome to change my mind.