How common is cheating?

TheMistakesWeMake · 2020-10-05T11:57:10+00:00

Much like any statistic, it’s useful as a guide, but it may not tell you much about what you might face in reality.

I’ve heard it could be up to 40% of men and women have that cheat... but if you break it down and look at why in any given scenario you’ll get a much clearer indication. For example:

What’s the quality of the woman you’ve chosen, does she have a history of that kind of behaviour? What are you like, are you the type of man women desire (thus lowering their odds of cheating), are you dependent on them, do you seek validation all the time, what kind of opportunities are present to them... and on and on...

The reason abundance and outcome independence are constantly referenced here is because you cannot control anyone else, and spending time worrying about their actions takes away from your own life.

My advice... try not to worry about the hard statistics. Choose anyone you LTR wisely, after a long vetting process. Hold the relationship to YOUR standards. Prioritise yourself and have a vision for the man you want to be (and deliver on that vision). If a girl cheats, she cheats... you move on and find someone better!

Cowboyallan · 2020-10-05T13:45:24+00:00

Avoid people with BPD, they will cheat 100% of the time.

trpppp123 · 2020-10-05T14:14:50+00:00

Probably more common than you think. People just get caught less than you think.

Azora · 2020-10-05T14:45:24+00:00

[deleted]

mr4kino · 2020-10-05T14:06:27+00:00

Well, nowadays taking a "break" of 3 weeks and sleeping with 30 people is not considered cheating.

So you can at least double that statistic percent.

maubreetius · 2020-10-05T11:56:20+00:00

Everyone will cheat with the right circumstances.

319Skew · 2020-10-05T15:15:14+00:00

OP - just so you're aware... you're looking for a specific answer regarding something that's very dependent on numerous variables by asking people and taking anecdotal evidence.

Do you see where I'm going with this?

Tambamwham · 2020-10-05T16:54:21+00:00

It’s rare for a relationship to end without a third party involved.

Pycnostyle · 2020-10-05T17:33:01+00:00

I think it really depends on how you define cheating. If you include branch-swinging (starting a new relationship before ending the current one) in your cheating definition, then that number sounds very low to me. Pulling numbers out of my ass here, but I think I'm on safe ground if I say that the majority of women have branch-swung at least once in their dating careers!

OohBarracuda729 · 2020-10-05T15:19:54+00:00

[deleted]

Croissaintly · 2020-10-05T15:18:51+00:00

How would you study something like that? You can't ask people whether they've cheated, because people don't like to think of themselves as cheaters, so they'll say no and use mental gymnastics to justify their actions. ("the relationship was already over", "we were on a break", "he cheated first so it doesn't count", etc.)

Neither can you ask people whether they've been cheated on, because most cases are never found out.

You can't even put cameras on people 24/7/365, because if they know they're being monitored and/or volunteer for it, their behavior will subtly change. Ergo, I highly doubt 11-15% is accurate, unless I know the methodology by which they arrived at that number, and it seems reliable.

SIR_SKINNYPENIS69 · 2020-10-05T13:40:24+00:00

I can definitely believe it being lower than we think. We have to take into account ALL the couples in society. That includes normies who have only slept with 1-3 people, which tbh is probably about half of the people in our countries. Go for a walk and look at every single person you see, how sexually active do you really think most people are?

Or maybe not I dunno lol

maubreetius · 2020-10-05T12:06:47+00:00

It may effect the likelihood. But still everyone falls for the chad thundercocks and the HB10's. For instance you are on vacation. Alone while having a 3-year LTR. And a random HB8 start toughing your balls at the bar. No-one will resist. The same counts for woman. It's just what it is.

lazlounderhill · 2020-10-05T19:01:52+00:00

Yeah - those would be "self-reporting" statistics, which is tantamount to astrology. Ask yourself how many men you personally know who have been cheated on - then ask yourself how many women you personally know who have been caught cheating, and I think you'll have a pretty accurate idea of how frequently women cheat. From what I've observed, 90 percent of women who make the decision to end a relationship do so via cheating. Plan B is always in effect. Dissatisfaction is the ever present justification in their minds, and they will convince themselves of the pretense of disatisfaction - always - with the action of monkey branching. The pretense easily and seamlessly transitions into reality in their mind. So much so, that I'm convinced they aren't even aware that they are doing it - it is absolutely 2nd nature for women to be able to convince themselves of a lie they tell themselves.

cydestiny · 2020-10-06T00:45:21+00:00

Don't give them the chance to cheat on you, that's it.

It's fearmongering to say a percentile of woman cheat because it is so much more on the context, i.e. what the relationship is built upon (more complex than just this one reason).

I think the hard part here is knowing that you are going into a toxic relationship but you couldn't get out because of various reason. You know she cheat but she's a HB8 and she's your one last chance, you won't met any girl like her anymore. So you go into this plausible deniability, the endless "but" hell. But she make good sandwiches, but the sex was good, but there's 1000 reasons why she wont cheat....

Trust your gut, those instincts are real, don't ever lie to yourself.

SteveSan82 · 2020-10-05T20:25:56+00:00

All women branch swing.

cglehosit · 2020-10-05T14:55:49+00:00

Be careful, these sorts of questions lead to MGTOW attitudes and autistic anger.

Women cheat in the same way they try on new shoes. If the shoes just ain’t working anymore, you don’t throw them away till you have new ones. As more and more men become shitty pairs of shoes, the more women have to try new ones on regularly to survive. Make sure you are improving yourself and being the best man you can be first.

akihonj · 2020-10-05T15:09:29+00:00

How common is it, very, you say you've read a study. Well I've read studies that show divorce rates are falling but marriage rates are also falling in line with that, divorce in most cases around 80% is started by the wife and in around 60% of those cases there is the admission by the wife of adultery.

So out of 100 women being married and filing for divorce then you can say around 60 of those have had an affair and they are filing because they've admitted to the affair or they are filing because they are done being married to the sucker who asked them in the first place.

Now if we agree those figures are correct which for the western world they actually are, then accept that generally speaking many women tend to think if they aren't married then they aren't cheating and also accept other studies that suggest at any one time at least 50% of all women in any relationship have cheated then we can say that roughly about 70% of women will cheat during any form of relationship.

So that's really high.

In fact your better off expecting it to happen and being shocked when it doesn't than being shocked and upset when it does.

Asktrp4427 · 2020-10-05T16:41:26+00:00

How common is someone having a job

VojvodaSrpski · 2020-10-05T18:12:30+00:00

Yes.

Siyuen_Tea · 2020-10-05T20:00:19+00:00

11% is a little more than 1 in 10. That's higher than you think. Also take into account that the biggest aspect in cheating is availability. Bigger cities will skew the numbers for other areas. You also have to divide malicious cheaters and opportunistic cheaters. It's an important distinction when understanding if cheating is because a dead bedroom or because the guy got game ( or the girl is easy)

TheBlackAlistar · 2020-10-06T00:59:22+00:00

Given long enough? 100%

TeddyMGTOW · 2020-10-05T12:40:09+00:00

You can probably find a free PDF on the net. Here's a book I liked.

Women's Infidelity : Living in Limbo: What Women Really Mean When They Say I'm Not Happy

by Michelle Langley

Askmeiwontsaynot · 2020-10-05T18:49:55+00:00

AWALT

2020-10-05T12:57:01+00:00

Everyone cheats at all times. As a matter of fact your wife cheated on you while you posted this. Monogamy is cancelled boys

XXXMersenne · 2020-10-05T20:15:52+00:00

I kissed a girl on a night out and her boyfriend came and shouterd at her

Fuck infidelity. Psyop yourselves into a healthy, passionate & deelpy connected relationship.

Then any cheating is just an outrageous anomaly from which everyone can learn see.

MrAnderzon · 2020-10-05T15:17:20+00:00

Before anyone responds:

What is cheating?

Is it something we say

Is it something we do

Or

Is it something we are

What is cheating?

Title	How common is cheating?
Author	Path-Quiet
Upvotes	101
Comments	94
Date	October 5, 2020 11:33 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/j5hree/how_common_is_cheating/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-common-is-cheating.316880 https://theredarchive.com/post/316880

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