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It all came to a head

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February 24, 2020
11 upvotes

Hey guys, I think I went Rambo without realizing it.

I thought I was doing good in our marriage applying red pill (gym, focusing on my own growth, not being overly attached to her, teasing, etc.)

A few days ago she was in the bathtub around bedtime. I walked in and heard her crying. Got her out, started talking, she says “I don’t know if I can take you and I don’t want this baby.”

She is pregnant with our second child, about halfway through the pregnancy. We talk and she says through tears “other than our (1 year old son) I don’t have any reason to live.”

She is sobbing and I remain calm, but instead of applying what I think is “red pill” I decide to just switch back to how I used to treat her before I found the red pill (sweet, caring, showing obvious interest in her, comforting her, probably “placating” for all I know.)

I have been very “short” with her occasionally through this red pill journey. And I haven’t been complying with any of her simple requests like “can you tend to the baby while I xyz.” Probably just trying too hard to go the other direction against “blue pill tendencies of being a nice guy.” Probably the very definition of “going Rambo.” I’m the most caring guy in the world and that’s why I’ve been doing to the exact opposite. Rambo, I guess.

So this conversation... I just decided to try being nice to her again and quit treating her like a silly little girl. Actually show some investment. Some concern for her well being. I thought I was still showing that during her conversations/sobfests the past few months but I guess she didn’t see it as “caring” cause I was being too stoic. she has said multiple times in the past few months since going red pill that “I wish you treated me like you did when we were boyfriend/girlfriend.” Saying things like “I want ‘boyfriend’ LabelOtherSide back.”

So I asked her “do you want me to treat you like that again?” She, through tears: “yes” Me: “do you want this marriage to work?” She, emphatically: “yes” Me: “do you want to be married to me?” She, emphatically: “yes” Me: “do you like us together and are you willing to put on the work for us to be happily married again?” She, emphatically: “oh yes, oh yes yes yes definitely” Me: “ok, we are in this together. You are the only girl I love, I will do what I need to do.”

She was crying and smiling through all of this once I started showing some investment/started “emoting” with her.

Since then we have been right as rain. She and I have had the best sex in our marriage so far, and did it ~5 times in one night (we had to plan this about a week out, and get some coffee and catch up on sleep the day before the “all-nighter” to make sure we could do it. And no, I didn’t orgasm 5 times, we just “did it” throughout listening to music and watching a movie, taking breaks occasionally.)

She has been much more responsive to me sexually, and we are treating eachother much better. I am letting go of this bitterness I have had, enjoying the sex and passion, and I think she is having the “loving husband” she wants.

I’ll add this: she has invested a lot in me over the years, and I have invested a lot in her. She has NO other friends other than me. She has had no other lovers other than me. She stays at home, I work, so she doesn’t get to “make friends” much. She is submissive to me and I am pretty much her world.

This red pill business has been putting a huge strain on our friendship/marriage/everything. Not in my eyes, but in hers.

What is up? Did I just get too heavy, too fast? The whole thing blows my mind, I thought being an asshole turns girls on? She said that my teasing “just hurt her feelings and made her want to die, ‘like you don’t care about me’ or something like that.”

Why is my blue pill method of treating her so effective? Obviously it’s what she’s used to... but I guess I’m just asking, why have all of my red pill tactics fallen flat?

I don’t want to go back to blue pill but dang... she said she wanted to die. (She since retracted her statement and said that she knows she is hormonal from the pregnancy and actually DOES want our baby... her actions the past week or so have shown that she is “alright” and in fact is the loving mother that I’ve always seen her be. Can’t take what they say at face value, right? Ha.

It’s just that her actions show my blue pill treatment of her to be effective. And I thought the opposite would be true.

Anybody have some advice of what I should do going forward? Maybe I was using dread and not realizing it? (Fatal during pregnancy, I know.)

Anybody have any ideas what could be going on here? Has this ever happened to any of you?


Post Information
Title It all came to a head
Author LabelOtherSide
Upvotes 11
Comments 43
Date 24 February 2020 06:23 PM UTC (9 months ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/340275
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/f8vjni/it_all_came_to_a_head/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
dread gamethe red pillthe blue pill
Comments

[–]tightsleeves58 points59 points  (8 children) | Copy

I don't know where you read that red-pill is treating your wife like shit. There is also multiple disclaimers to tone down the 'redpill' with pregnant women.

It's not the 'asshole' that turns women on, its the man with a mission/goal that doesn't revolve around neediness and other peoples validation.... being perceived as an 'asshole' might be a byproduct of your attitude but not the goal; you just can't take the effect and make it the cause

And I haven’t been complying with any of her simple requests like “can you tend to the baby while I xyz.”

She is asking you for help with the baby and you treat that as a shit test? Your their damn father, help raise your children and help her have a life outside of the children too. And this is coming from someone who sometimes is short on patience for my kids.

[–]Redrover85716 points17 points  (2 children) | Copy

I know. I see so many guys acting like their wife is the enemy.

[–]second-last-mohican7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

Probably stopped reading halfway through nmmng

[–]EmbracedBiology1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

That was exactly what I did. Midway NMMNG thought I figured it out, and literally nuked any shit-test until the word "divorce" fell.

[–]JudgeDoom693 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I don't know where you read that red-pill is treating your wife like shit

u/LabelOtherSide a real man takes care of a pregnant woman. You should be stepping it up right now. Making supper, changing shitty diapers, the full monte. Not because anyone else expects this, and not because you want anything in return (it's not a covert contract). You take care of your house and family because that's your job.

You do it quietly and without the need for praise or recognition. You don't need to report to anyone what you've accomplished.

[–]LabelOtherSide[S] -5 points-4 points  (3 children) | Copy

I have read “tone the dread down” while she’s pregnant but I thought that meant “no overt statements of dread,” I never thought that my disinterest was causing her dread. I misunderstood “don’t dread during pregnancy” and I’ll be the first to admit that. Just glad I didn’t turn her away from me long-term. She seems to be happy and bouncing back into normal wifehood for now. I made a mistake and I’ve owned up to it to her (something not always recommended on this sub) but I believe a leader should have humility when leading. Thank you for your advice and insight, I greatly appreciate it.

Edit to say, I don’t neglect my child at all, he is my little buddy and I would do anything for him. Just that I would tell her “no” sometimes when she would ask me something, just to test my new skills of “not saying yes to everything.” She was never neglected and I made numerous efforts to keep the kid when she wanted to go to some ladies’ church function and stuff. I actively try to push her to be more social with women cause she needs the support system IMO. I know it sounds like I am an ass but she is spoiled and says so herself.

[–]redirectedfs0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Flowers and chocolates bro...Wait, would that actually be good advice this time? Damn.

[–]Balls_Wellington_Main Event + Coronavirus4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Being pregnant seems like it fucking sucks. I might need some damn junk food to deal with that bullshit too.

[–]GraduatedRP0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It’s push-pull-spin my man. You were just pushing. Now you just pulled. She’s already feeling spun.

Remember that teasing (and make her laugh with teasing) is key. Smile and kiss her if she gets embarrassed or the tease went too far.

Push-pull-spin.

Also... helping with your child is OYS. And it’s ok to get her stuff while preggers even if it’s “can you run to the store for...” She’s carrying precious cargo, bro. Those requests are only problematic when she could do it’s not a large burden for her to do it herself. It’s only a problem when she sees you as “the help.”

[–]HeckleandChide36 points37 points  (5 children) | Copy

Let me get this straight.

You have a wife who has a very young child and who is also in trimester 2 with another baby. You transformed basically overnight from a “most caring person” into someone who won’t even help with the other child.

You autistic fuck. Lead her. Recognize that she is going through hormone hell right now and step up to the plate. Now is not the time for dread, Rambo, or any of those tools. Now is the time to lead, keep your family pointed in the right direction, and ensure the best outcome possible for this pregnancy while maintaining your own goals / ambitions / desires.

Damn son. You done fucked up.

EDIT: Search the subs for the Oak and read up. That’s what is needed right now.

[–]LabelOtherSide[S] -3 points-2 points  (4 children) | Copy

“Not the time for dread, Rambo, or any of those tools”

I think I misjudged how strong her emotional response would be when I started making “dramatic” (to her) changes in my likes, interests, conversations with her, etc. Started going to the gym, treating her like a silly little girl, and not saying yes to everything she asks. Small things in my opinion, but to her I’ve changed into a whole different person. My words mean so much to her that any criticism crushes her. Not helping her with a simple task makes her feel devalued. I thought that girls need to be “taken down a notch” due to inflated egos, feminism, thirsty guys everywhere, etc.

But one thing I forgot: my girl is super shy, wholesome, no friends, never been to parties, no self-esteem, etc.

So I was really just putting her down when her ego was already lower than low. Even more so because of pregnancy changes and feeing sick. This is completely my fault for not being more thoughtful on my dealings with my first mate. I took “AWALT” too seriously, I guess. Treated her like a egotistical thot (AWALT, right?) when she really isn’t. Bad judgement call on my part.

Why have I never heard about “low-esteem good girls?” Why is that not a thing? Because I swear so many of the tactics for maintaining self-respect in the face of entitled girls... just make my wife cry or feel unloved when I try them. Poor execution? Or are there really girls out there who need comfort before dopamine (sexual attraction?) Was I breaking rapport too much when we already have such established rapport?

I have read about the oak and will go back and start there again. Thanks for your insight and wisdom. I appreciate you speaking into this situation.

[–]HeckleandChide1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Execution is less about how you do something and more about who you are. Chad is successful not because he is smooth... he is smooth because he is Chad. That’s not an absolute but it’s more true than not TBH.

Tools in MRP are just that. Tools. Adjust as needed. You don’t use a hammer when you are cutting a piece of wood in half; you use a saw. You don’t use pliers when hammering a nail, etc.

Don’t use dread on pregnant women. She is going to need a confident, supportive Captain who guides the ship in the right direction with a steady hand.

Focus on improving you as much as a possible right now. Delay tools re treating her differently (AA, AM, etc) for when her hormones have settled and she is getting more than 3 hrs of sleep per night.

[–]NeoTheJuanDJ1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

She is a woman. She has goldfish memory. She’s pregnant and will forget most of your current faggotry. But that doesn’t concern you. You have things going on, that are much bigger than the shit you haven’t internalized from the sidebar yet. This whole fuck feminism, women are dogs, just be more alpha bro shit when your wife is pregnant should be the last thing on your fucking mind. You have blatant comfort tests that you are failing on a level only an autist can accomplish.

What is needed is leadership. You’re creating instability when stability is needed. You are diving off the ship, when a captain is needed at the wheel. You have a pregnant wife and are going full Rambo trying to “become more alpha”, and to harness the alpha, when comfort and leadership is needed. The oak. There is an opportunity to establish bring your family into your frame, yet you fail and go Rambo. You need to learn basic adulting. Your wife being pregnant is not the time to try to be Chad 3.0.. which, how you’re doing at that is questionable, at best. Get your shit together.

[–]LabelOtherSide[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks man. I am giving more comfort and getting a good response. Still need to internalize a lot of this, but can’t sit around and read too much. “Mental masturbation”/ “do more, think less” and all that. Goal right now is to keep improving even if that doesn’t mean “increasing dread” overtly. Got to give comfort but still leave the house to go to the gym, even if internally I feel bad for spending that extra hour away from her... I know she really misses me during the day and looks forward to me getting home. Just have to have some tact and do it in a way that lets her know that her captain isn’t abandoning ship and will be back soon. Many thanks for all the advice and criticism I’ve received here.

[–]tightsleeves0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Low self esteem good girls are just as likely to cheat if given a low risk opportunity. They love the attention and boost it gives them.

[–]SepeanRed Beret13 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy

Who would have thought women have a dual sexual strategy and seek both alpha and beta, or that they require more comfort when pregnant? /s

Why is my blue pill method of treating her so effective?

It is not. Do you think this would work before you went red? It is the combination of alpha and beta that does the trick. If you want a stable relationship, you have to pass comfort tests.

[–]LabelOtherSide[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks, I needed to hear this.

[–]macheagle5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

Brother, you were passing her shit tests but failing each and every one of her comfort tests. A balance of passing shit and comfort tests is essential for a healthy marriage, especially in a RPM. This is part of the sidebar! I’m glad to hear things are better. Keep up with the balancing. You are the captain of the ship and she is your first mate. Make sure she knows her place but you are responsible for making her feel like she is an essential part of the crew too.

[–]LabelOtherSide[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yep, was failing her comfort tests. I think I was misinterpreting comfort tests as shit tests. Big mistake on my part. And the “make her feel like she is an essential part of the crew...” that is what I was missing. I was trying to be “independent” of her. She got the feeling that I didn’t need or appreciate her. I hate that I made her feel that way, but there’s nothing I can do but keep moving forward, learning from my mistakes. Now I am praising her when she does things I like, and she (hopefully) is being reminded of how valuable she is to me on this ship. She recently went with me to buy herself some more clothes that I want to see her in (completely her idea) and I made her to “feed her submission” with praise. Don’t know if this is the best technique but it certainly seems to help her. Any insights on that would be appreciated and thanks for the encouraging pat-on-the-back/kick-in-the-ass. I am trying to do like MMSLP and “find the balance.”

[–]Reject4445 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

JFC, some of you guys are thick. I'm still an idiot faggot who sucks at this and hasn't made nearly as much progress as I should have but it's been so clear to me from the beginning what so many of you seem to completely miss: Being "Red Pill" or "Alpha" does NOT mean "be an uncaring, emotionless asshole." Being a man of high value doesn't mean ignoring your wife, being a jerk to her, or disregarding her feelings and needs. This goes DOUBLE when she is pregnant. You need to offer comfort, support, and emotional connection--these are essential to any relationship--but you do it on YOUR terms, in YOUR frame, helping her and meeting her requests WHERE APPROPRIATE, and guiding her, or rejecting unreasonable requests she makes. Guys who are dicks all the time aren't "Alpha," they're just dicks. Being nice to your wife when she's being reasonable AND fucking you well is NOT going back to "Blue Pill." In fact, that's really the (incorrect) goal state for many men here (that's a good situation to be in but your GOAL should be to make yourself into a high-value man and pursue your mission, with or without your wife or regardless of what she does). If it's working for you, you're getting the sex you want and the submissive wife you want (as opposed to a nasty, unreasonable, demanding one), AND you are still making yourself into a high-value man with your own mission (that you are involving your wife in--right?), you actually seem to be doing something right here, IMHO.

[–]LabelOtherSide[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Great advice. My problem has been searching high and low for her to make an “unreasonable request” and treating something reasonable as if it is not. I just haven’t seen her make unreasonable requests. So because “AWALT” I figured “she must be unreasonable SOME time, right?” I was treating the occasional request to “grab such-and-such for me” (when I am sitting and she is standing) as an unreasonable request. That’s just an example but in general that’s the type of simple request I was refusing. Was this actually unreasonable? Well I don’t know. Something that might be more convenient for her and more inconvenient for me... I thought that was considered a shit test. Maybe those types of things are comfort tests, because she feels so bad being pregnant. Needless to say, I am going to “up the beta” to match the alpha, searching for that balance. She’s not nasty at all, or demanding, so I think I was creating a problem out of thin air. One more reason not to take “AWALT” so seriously. I was treating it like there are no exceptions when obviously my wife is one, at least under these circumstances. Thanks for the advice man.

[–]Redrover8573 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

You have a one year old and she’s already pregnant again. Her hormones never even had a chance to return to normal and now they are fucked up again. This is the time to be the oak and run the fucking house because it’s your house and your kids. You guys think that chores are bad but chores are bad when you expect praise and sex for doing them. Nothing wrong with handling household stuff because you are captaining the ship. You and your wife are going through the most stressful time of your life. Handle it.

[–]LabelOtherSide[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I agree with everything you said here. Nothing more to say, you’re right. Thank you for the advice, sir.

[–]ObjectionTrue3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

"Warning: Use of even mild Dread during pregnancy has been reported to be fatal to a marriage."

https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/2lpafb/the_12_step_plan_of_dread_book_excerpt_from_my/

[–]nobsyoga2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

You need to be smarter about the kids. If you read the divorce section of the dread post, it will say that you want to spend the time with them and build that bond. At worst, if it all falls to shit, you will have that strong with them.

[–]LabelOtherSide[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks for your concern. I am very involved with my kid, so no problems there. I am aware of some of the things that have happened to my coworker during his divorce... wife kept telling him not to help with the baby so she could say “he never helped with anything!” in court.

But yeah, I love my son and do stuff for him all the time. Thanks for the advice.

[–]fannyfire2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Your wife is pregnant dude. In other words, she’s hormonal as fuck. In other words, don’t listen to what she says you jackass.

I think HoA or WaS made an article about how you should be a boyfriend, husband and a father. I’m not a father but I understand, haven’t mastered, the concept of what they’re trying to say. You’ve got to be good at every single one of those. You’ve got to be hitting each mark. The catch is that you’ve got to do it cause you want to.

Regardless, your wife is sitting crying in the bathtub and says she doesn’t want your child. You need to own your shit. Take a good hard look at your life and ask yourself if you really are a high value man. You could be doing everything right, but practically nobody but the veterans are and when they came here they weren’t even together. Somewhere down the line you aren’t giving her the feels. She said she wants the old you back which implies that at one point you weren’t a faggot.

Have you considered not being a faggot?

[–]LabelOtherSide[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Ha, I interpreted her saying “I want the old you back” more as she wants faggot me back, instead of this intense red-pill guy! Faggot guy is probably easier for her!

But yeah, it would be preposterous to think I ah e it all together.... I’m just starting out.

But maybe I was doing better than I thought I was doing.... before going too far into “Rambo zone.”

Maybe that’s why she’s asking for that guy to come back. Who knows? I was definitely not giving her the “comfort” feelz. That is being fixed now. Hitting the gym should help give her the other “hunky boyfriend feels” (assuming I ever get there) that she needs as well.

And yeah, when she said that about my child... it hit like a fucking ton of bricks, but I kept the conversation going and didn’t respond to it directly. I knew she was hamstering and that she didn’t mean it. Afterwords she brought it up and apologized, and admitted she was stupid and hormonal and didn’t mean it.

I’ve got to be hitting each mark, you are right. Thanks for all the advice, man. I appreciate it.

[–]fannyfire1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hey, you know that’s a good point. The new you could be a trauma to her so in that case you need to tread lightly. Dread 101 explicitly says to not dread a pregnant woman. Obviously don’t turn into a faggot but think about picking your battles. She likely needs a lot more beta than alpha right now and it’s possible she might not be getting that because you’re too busy overcompensating for all the times you were too beta when she expected you to be alpha.

[–]RStonePT1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I don't get it.

Why is you in your wife's frame going Rambo? If you are doing the right thing you wouldn't feel bad. If you weren't then why were you doing it? If you stop what you're doing when she cries, you're just looking for permission.

Your problem isn't Rambo btw, it's your shit tier frame

[–]LabelOtherSide[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

So everyone here is telling me to balance comfort with alpha. You are saying that “if you stop what you’re doing when she cries, you’re just looking for permission.” I have done my own thing for months, telling her how it was going to be while she cried. So far that has resulted in her becoming afraid to bring things up and afraid to share things with me (her words.) I mean she said she didn’t have a reason to live other than the kid. Obviously this is an emotional response. And a huge one. So I comforted her and told her how important she is to me, now she’s happy and not crying anymore. Has started treating me better and I’ve started treating her better. And you’re saying that it is a bad idea to stop what I’m doing when she cries? I am trying to learn how to be the man I need to be. I’m open-minded to learning from other people’s experiences. How was my comforting her a failure? How is my frame poor if she is crying about me “doing my own thing/not making decisions based on her?” I don’t seek her out for advice or help with anything. She might be feeling like an underused first mate. But my frame for making decisions is “what benefits me/my family/my wife’s well-being” not “what would make my wife happy.” Do I still have a frame problem that I’m not seeing?

[–]RStonePT1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's not incongruent. YOU'RE supposed to balance attraction with comfort. YOU'RE supposed to take the lead.

You're not supposed to be reactive, because I'm sure someone has told you:

Reward good behaviour, do not reward bad behaviour

And guess what message you send when you fold every time she cries?

Yeah, you've just encouraged her to cry when she wants you to bend to her will. Playing wounded is one of the most effective female manipulation tools, next to shame and anger.

So I comforted her and told her how important she is to me, now she’s happy and not crying anymore.

A better system is to do whats called the 'come to jesus' where you lay out what she can do to alleviate her anxiety. This isn't supposed to be a weekly talk session about making sandwiches and blowjobs, it's more of a one time thing where you make it clear what you want in a relationship.

I am trying to learn how to be the man I need to be.

You feel bad when she cries and you placate her. I don't know why you're here, but if you are expecting to build a better mouse trap, or to be a better man for her then you should pack up and go home, because this is a still birth.

Everything you've written has been from her perspective. She feels underused, she cries, she is afraid to bring up problems. Like fuck dude, you're not even the protagonist in your own fucking life, and you have the gall to ask what frame problem you have?

If you've done a proper MAP, you know what you want, you know what you're driving towards as an end scenario, and you don't have to ask if you did good because you know if you got closer to your goals or not.

I read through all this and still have no idea what you are trying to achieve here, other than to stop your wife from crying.

[–]Whatev222 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

You were so close and you missed the putt. Yes, you gave comfort. Good

Then you qualified her for what you want from the relationship and she said yes to everything. Good.

Then you turned the burden of the relationship back onto YOUR behavior. Bad, bad, bad. You ran right back inside the box.

You let her emotions be in the driver’s seat of the relationship. Now she rewarded your ‘good behavior’ with sex and flooded your brain with dopamine. You are back in the hook.

It’s ok, man.... you lost a round in a game where you aren’t making the rules. Back to the sidebar.

[–]LabelOtherSide[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Your comment is such an odd mix of criticism and rapport building... I love it. Ha. Yes the qualifying part was very purposeful. I have you guys here to thank for that, never would’ve thought to word it to her that way otherwise.

As far as turning it back onto my behavior, I think I know what you mean... you are saying that I shouldn’t have given her a “blank check” saying “I’ll do what I need to do.”

Up to this point in my red pill journey her emotions have been pretty low on my priority list. Did I fuck up and “let her emotions be in the drivers seat” by emoting with her and “coming down to her level?” (In her words)

Dopamine levels are high. I haven’t felt this happy to be with her in a while, largely thanks to this new responsiveness and eagerness she is showing in the bedroom. I think you mean that now she is using sex as a tool. I can’t tell if she is or not. Seems like she’s just happy to have sex and she’s never weaponized sex before in our marriage. She told me that she hasn’t been feeling very warm towards me in the bedroom since I haven’t shown “care, tenderness, etc” towards her. But she also said that she has been doing Sex with me anyway because she thought I would be happy if she just “gave me her body to use, without any participation on her part.” Which I think she was honestly doing. Pretty much translated to lazy sex or I guess what you guys would call starfish. Of course I didn’t want that, ideally we would both be turned on. Still did it, but wasn’t very enjoyable. I know there are multiple ways to interpret her behavior over the past few months while I’ve been “Rambo” towards her, but I think she has been trying to fulfill her wifely duties while emotionally dissatisfied. I truly believe she is being honest in this regard. So, now that she is emotionally satisfied on her part, and she is enjoying sex with me, not cold and unengaged... does this mean she is now using sex as a weapon? Is this purposeful or incidental? Am I “back on the hook?” I don’t ask this because I am worried about it, I ask just as a follow-up question to your comment. Thanks for your input and advice so far.

[–]Whatev221 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

there is excellent advice in other comments. you are in a very complex situation. young child, preggo mom, mid-thigh in MRP. you want my advice?

  1. compassion. preggo hormones are wild and unpredictable. be there for your wife. she is not your enemy... your own brain, heart, and actions are your enemy and also your road to salvation.
  2. breathe. meditate for a few minutes every day.
  3. find and define your boundaries.

it is very easy to type out a quick answer on this forum. it hardly can address the pain and urgency men feel when they resort to an appeal to the anonymous masses. you need to own the place you are in life. I often think that if you asked the same question on separate days the answers from some of the participants would contradict themselves; so many people act from how they feel 'right now'... it's not just a woman thing. understand that your own emotions will swing wildly from week to week if not hour to hour. enjoy the emotions, but don't get attached to them. keep your rudder straight through it all. you do that by having your MAP.

A good quote I heard recently is that companies are not run by people, they are run by processes. That's like our lives... our lives are run by our habits. do those habits support our long-term goals or not? do we have long-term goals? if we don't have goals, or don't have habits that support those goals we make no progress.

[–]LabelOtherSide[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thank you for understanding.

[–]Cloudy_Pirate2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I don’t want to go back to blue pill but

It's OK. Not everyone was meant to be unplugged.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I made a name for myself fucking women who stayed at home while their husbands worked.

Fucked them in their marital beds. Left my come on their sheets.

Wiped my balls with their tee shirts.

Guess what?

None of these women had time to “make friends” either.

Fucking faggot.

[–]tspitsatgp0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You would probably be better served by reflecting on what sort of man you want to be (don’t create a false idol) and then building out from there. There’s tools everywhere but you do have to think about how to use them before you go full dumb fuck Rambo.

Fuck this red, blue, purple shit. They are all bullshit labels. What sort of man do you want to be? It’s the only bit that betters.

Since you are clearly a bit fucking stupid I would suggest posting in OYS so that you can get some guidance on a more regular basis.

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You don’t give any

  • Timeframes

  • Lifts

  • Height/Weight

  • Sidebar readings

Without these it’s impossible to get s good picture of your situation

[–]Big_Daddy_PDX0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If your wife is pregnant and you’re still learning just sit down, shut up, and enjoy the ride. Way too many unpredictable hormones for you to figure out what’s happening.

[–]RoccoPinkman0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

What flavour are your paint chips?

[–]weakandsensitive-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Good troll post



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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