It’s sad that I have to say this in the year 2015 after all the positive consent propaganda you’ve been spewing. But no means no! I’m not interested in saving you from your bad choices after you’ve graduated/flunked out of your university program, and your parents/big daddy government are no longer bank rolling you. No matter how many times you ask! After we met, banged a few times, and it was obvious that we both wanted more than a one night stand I was very honest with you. I told you: marriage, children, and monogamy were off of the table. All three of those things would negatively affect my happiness and quality of life. After all if I don’t look out for my happiness who will?

You nodded and agreed to my terms. Marriage is an outdated institution you claimed, and you aren’t sure that you want to have children anyway. But almost all of you seem to be running on the same program. Without fail about a year in you start reneging on your promises. You start throwing tantrums when you find out that I’m sleeping with other women, you start demanding that we move in together so we can “have a life together”, you start demanding a timeline for marriage and children.

Here’s the thing. You already had your chance to try and earn my commitment when you were a smoking hot 18 year old sorority girl. But you chased guys in the top 10th percentile of looks and social status instead. Now you’re 25-29 and thinking about settling down. But I wasn’t good enough for you then, so you’re not good enough for me now. I didn’t try to force physical intimacy on you. So stop trying to force emotional intimacy on me. No means no! No you won’t get my commitment! No you won’t get my resources! No I won’t pay to bankroll your baby! No I won’t pay off your student loans! No I won’t subsidize your low wage, low hour, low stress job.

Stop lying to me. Stop trying to weasel out of the agreement we made. Stop slut shaming me, and telling me what I should do with my body. And for gods sake stop trying to bully me down the aisle into a marriage I don’t want! If you don’t like our arrangement then fucking leave! You know where the door is, and there are 10 women just waiting to take your place! Sincerely successful man.