Lost the will to live

martynhare · 2019-08-17T15:58:41+00:00

You clearly have the capacity to love people deeply. Have you thought of volunteering or charity work? The joy you'd bring to others might make you feel differently about your own sense of purpose in life.

altburger69 · 2019-08-17T16:44:41+00:00

You guys are the fucking best... love this sub.

Look at this thread...

altburger69 · 2019-08-17T16:10:02+00:00

55 here...

I understand how you feel brother.

You are not alone in this. I have often felt the same way. What I have learned is that I was lied to, and that's why I felt that way.

Women are simple creatures, and easily manipulated. That's why she's gone... this was intentional. You're reaction is the purpose of manipulating her.

You are being assaulted and what you are experiencing is the goal.

It hurts... I know...

It will get better... if you want it to.

Reach out if you need to man.

That's why we are here.

cncdanb · 2019-08-17T16:02:53+00:00

You should start learning to live for yourself. Don’t let your happiness or lack of happiness be caused by the presence of anyone but yourself. Sorry about what happened, but look at this as a new page in your life. You’re not old enough to give up. You have a lot of good years ahead and you can really enjoy them. But you need to learn to go your own way, whatever that might mean for you.

CuntMonteCristo · 2019-08-17T16:04:09+00:00

My friend you have to relearn what you have unlearned through your marriage..The Mission is YOU! You have forgotten yourself, slowly but surely your life's meaning became her life, your purpose became her purpose, her friends became your friends, your value became her value and when she left you suddenly were confronted with nothing because you didn't realize that slowly all the meaning revolved around her while you were forgotten. Now you have to relearn what you have forgotten and do what men do.

Rise again from the ashes...out of nothing you will create..a new mission, a new goal, a new purpose, a new YOU!

And maybe among those goals will be moving closer to your son...

Never surrender, never retreat...

Now get to work! We are here for YOU!

captainsaveahoe69 · 2019-08-17T16:28:10+00:00

Ah man, 52 year old here. Divorced too. You can find purpose in life my brother. Don't give up hope.

mgtowguy3 · 2019-08-17T16:10:41+00:00

57 here and had to start over myself some time back.

The first year was really tough. I was completely lost. But a move and a new job, settling in, exploring a new place and meeting new people, I slowly came around.

In hindsight it was the best thing that could have happened but it was hell to get there.

Keep going. Keep posting here. Hang in there. It does get better.

rquasius · 2019-08-17T16:30:38+00:00

Being married is like a cult, and your wife is the cult leader. To control you, first she needs to strip you of frequent contact with "your family", and single male friends. Now that you left the cult, nurture those relationships back. To be honest avoid nurturing friendships with married male friends (their wives with always sabotage plans you make), and find committed bachelor or MGTOW friends. I'm 59, and been single (had non-live in girlfriends, and fiance), and I found it's a hassle making plans with married friends, so I don't bother anymore. Develop hobbies and activities you put on hold while married, but liked, except for ones you probably shouldn't due to age to avoid injury.

monk2019 · 2019-08-17T15:58:49+00:00

You dont need someone to live for, you need a dog to care for. For real, having a dog will help you out big time. Also find a hobby you like doing, and spend time improving in whatever that might be.

monkensteinxstupido · 2019-08-17T16:59:52+00:00

Do FOUR counter-MGTOW THINGS to HEAL REAL fast. Do it NOW.

This is going to be long, but if you read it your gonna make it.

GO SIGN UP for a date Just 1. WHY? You have to QUIET that place in your mind that says "YOU'LL BE ALONE FOR EVER" After you've been on ONE coffe edate or even some blind/sugar daddy situation (you don't have to do anything or even sit through dinner, just show up, look at them, realize they selected you to suffer their bullshit,and LEAVE), What did you learn from that? See, PEOPLE DO WANT YOU, so you wont die alone or be alone if you really don't want to. YOU ARE THEN ABLE TO SHUT YOUR FEELINGS OF LONELINESS UP AND then just move through the sadness of the loss of your illusional world with your ex wife.
TO move through the sadness - GO AND SEE ANOTHER WORLD. Book yourself a vacation to somewhere and go someplace YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO GO, but couldn't be cause of money or marriage/ and do something there that you always wanted to do,regardless of the cost. GO AND MAKE YOURSELF A great, unique SOLO LIFE MEMORY. It will cause your sadness to pause, if not lift entirely. Because your mind FINALLY gets to go where it wanted, and IT ISN'T GOING TO LET A LITTLE THING LIKE SADNESS MESS IT UP. Who knows? While you're out and about, you may have a moment of peace and clarity, fully understand that the situation was not your fault, forgive yourself, cry one last time, and come home washed clean and Determined to live A NEW LIFE. My place was Hawaii. I flew to OLD Hawaii, KAWAII (always wanted to go), and I WENT HANG-GLIDING. Over the Mountains and the ocean. I can't fly and I cant swim, and I weighted 295 at the time. But I was healthy and strong. I fit into the wind-suit. and off we went. I was terrified. And After 30 minutes of screaming. All my sadness shut off and I was at peace. So much so, that when I landed I walked around all lonely-like and went to a few book stores and heard about a "big dance" on the island that night. I took a chance at and went and Met a girl there and winded up playing hide the baloney in my hotel room for 3 days till I left. See what happened when I left and did something I finally wanted to do just cause? It also gave me a friend in Hawaii who has travel here to Vegas just to hang and bang.
Do yourself your best favor. MOVE OUT OF YOUR HOUSE AND GO FIND A NEW ONE YOU LIKE, WHERE YOU LIKE IT. If you have a house, sell it and buy a new one cash. if you can. Your life with her is gone. THAT MEANS, your love with her is GONE, your HOME with her is gone. Don't live in your house like a shadow or a ghost she left behind, Haunting the halls with your sadness and wails. THAT WAS HER PLAN all along. And until you get MAD ENOUGH TO REALIZE SHE DID THIS TO YOU ON PURPOSE AND COULDN'T POSSIBLY HAVE LOVED YOU. because she was able to do this,that mean's she is a terrible person, and you were tricked, and she is evil, and you should NEVER EVER SHED A TEAR OVER AN EVIL PERSON THAT TRICKED YOU. They are NOT worth it. You should be mad instead. You've got to GET OUT OF THERE! NOW! So when you come back from your trip (to anywhere)
AND NOW FOR SOME CRAZY SHIT (Read at your own discretion/it wouldn't be ME if I didn't include this part) I PERSONALLY Believe women feast on your souls in a way. Attaching your emotion and caring, AND ADDICTION to them through YOUR PENIS. How do you QUICKLY BREAK THIS ADDICTION!!?Easy. Get inside a different woman. Oh, noes, you say, cause then you will be addicted to THAT ONE. and to that I say. I have the solution! GET INSIDE ANOTHER WOMAN! IN RAPID SUCCESSION (as fast as humanly possible) Say, about 3-5. After about 5 IN A ROW, the MALE TENDENCY TO GET HOOKED ON THE LAST FEMALE HE SPUNKED IN IS WRECKED BEYOND BELIEF. You simply can't. You're mind can't figure WHO to get hooked on, SO THEY ALL CANCEL OUT. That is the goal. That is what I want for you. The Cancelling out of the addiction to her old vagina. it will remove 99.95 of your sadness and leave you to think clearly where you can FINALLY GET MAD AT HER HOE BULLSHIT AND DECIDE THAT YOU WANT TO LIVE. Please listen to me on this.
Do you want 3 20-30 year olds to suck your dick, at the same time, for $80 tops? Then check out these two debauchery posts. And don't worry about your age at all. The girls don't care, and I've met 75 year old divorced and retired Lawyers and businessmen over there, taking them on one viagra at a time. MY point is YOU CAN STILL GET IT ON NO MATTER WAT YOUR AGE AND PEOPLE REALLY DON'T CARE. If you're going hardcore or just for a laugh read my debaucherous "get your dick wet"posts

https://www.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/cmln01/thats_it_im_not_going_to_waste_a_second_if_my/ew51big/?context=3

https://www.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/cmln01/thats_it_im_not_going_to_waste_a_second_if_my/ew51c2g/?context=3

MY Point is, to LIVE. YOU come from the blue pill world. I USED TO LIVE THERE. There will be feelings you can't shake, sorrow you can't ignore. Everything you see will remind you of her and the past.

BUT IF I THREW A FIREBOMB IN YOUR HOUSE You'd RUN OUT SO YOU COULD LIVE and you wouldn't be sad ON YOUR WAY OUT THE DOOR nor would you be thinking about that bitch for 1 fucking second as you ran to get free of the fire! So get out and get free!

I'm NOT SAYING you have to do the hooker and hoe bit. I'm just saying. Keep in mind that those options ARE NOT OFF THE TABLE JUST BECAUSE OF YOUR AGE, or whatever you might think may be holding you back.

I'm just saying, clear your mind and heart of her hurt and her evil, and GET DISCONNECTED from her on the emotional plane and these are the tricks/techniques to do it. if you look carefully, it may sound alot like what she is doing, so be careful. If you go the low road, only go it to shake off the last bits of her evil.

How to clear your mind and heart??

CLEAR YOUR MIND AND HEART BY FEEDING IT AGAIN WITH NEW JOYS AND EXPERIENCES THAT YOU AND YOU ALONE WANT AND HAVE WANTED FOR DECADES!!!

It may be buying a motorcycle, taking a long trip or vacation to a foreign land, or hiring 3 hookers and banging them till your teeth pop out. OR hiring 3 hookers and make them have a fucking pillow fight while you sip on a scotch.

Whatever it is. DO IT!

FREE YOURSELF!

Because she is FEASTING ON YOUR SADDENED SOUL!!! And that is what's making it last. And making it painful.

Get OUT OF YOUR HOUSE, GET OUT TO YOUR DREAMS, GET UNDER AT LEAST 5 TEMPORARY WOMEN, AND GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE!!!

PRO TIP: When I moved here to Vegas I once went to walmart to return an item, and standing behind me was an older white man, he looked about 58 Spry and bouncing. I turned to him and was like, dang dude, you look like your feeling good, what's up? he said "my daughters getting married today, and then I get to go back home"

ME - oh so you don't live here

Him -no. No way

Me - Oh well wherever you live must be treating you well, you seem happy.

Him- I live in the Philippines

Me - What?

Him - Yeah and its my birthday soon, so I want to get back.

Me - Your birthday - how old are you?

Him - 78.

Me - DAMN!

MORAL OF THE STORY: YOU LOOK AND FEEL AS GOOD AS YOU TREAT YOURSELF. SO GET THE BULLSHIT OUT OF YOUR LIFE! AND TREAT YOURSELF WELL!! WOMEN DO IT ALL THE TIME!!! TRY IT ON YOUR LIFE FOR ONCE!!

onlyyouandiremain · 2019-08-17T16:53:13+00:00

47 years old and widowed here mate.the first 12 months are the hardest,you have to find something to keep you busy.join a group,find a new interest,find a new routine.

regarding your son,just because he is far away geographically doesn't mean he has to be emotionally,why not get into a game you can play online together.i'm not talking battlefield, C.O.D, or WoW, unless that's something you're into.there are tons of games you can play online,i sometimes play online scrabble with my sister,it helps keep us connected.

please dont wallow,when you are walking through hell the only option is to keep walking.

smath008 · 2019-08-17T15:58:11+00:00

Really sorry to hear this bud. Hope you can find a way to slowly persevere and bounce back.

NAILmg42 · 2019-08-17T15:58:50+00:00

Well first see how much you can repair for relationship with son. Second save all the money you can. Third time has to take its course. It should hurt for 1 month bad, 6 months less, 1 year barely.

Interact with men. My mate who is 51 palys cod ww2 with and he is good with positive KD. We play together with 71 yr old who is halarious. Find your crew of like mind and make it a relaxing thing to do.

After son and friend circle is there, you need to remove Hope, male mother need, and aim to beat the pain. If you do this, you can be good at it like Terrence Popp that halarious bastard and help others.

Find your therapy release and aim to improve the situation. You won't have money for years if it's normal divorce. You still have time too to earn money and prepare for retirement.

You lives the lie and now the real world seems too harsh. It's just cold and eventually if you improve each week something, it's worth it.

Men commit suicide to stop the pain. Beat the pain don't stop it. And you should cry for a while. That's hope meeting reality that won't be able to repeat itself without dillusioning you to a bad place, so you suffer until you remove.

Prepare for your new life, and when able after divorce, maybe ghost your wife.

Let her enjoy her own decision.

This is just the beginning mate.

Mgtaoteching · 2019-08-17T16:08:48+00:00

Hey, man. You’re about my dad’s age and sometimes I worry about him. My parents divorced 15 years ago and he remarried. His current wife has her own children who’ve had illegitimate children (one of which he is raising his step grand-daughter), their drug problems, high school drop outs, etc. he calculates his retirement age based on when step grandchild turns 18. I hate saying it, but things can always get worse. These crazy times show us the impermanence of life. Whether they are good or bad, they pass.

I don’t know your situation, but please reach out to professional help while you get on your feet. Call the suicide hotline at tel:1-800-273-8255 if you need immediate assistance.

If you were my dad, I would want to know how you really feel so that we can work on it together. Do fun stuff together. Seriously go find a new hobby you’ve always wanted to do but couldn’t being tied to a marriage. Take it day by day. Take care, friend.

MiddleAgedMGTOW · 2019-08-17T16:26:07+00:00

My heart breaks for you brother. Truly. I’ve been where you’re at and I wouldn’t wish that pain on my worst enemy. The good news is that you won’t always feel the way you feel now. The pain will fade and you will bounce back. In the meantime come here as often as you need to. You will find a community of sympathetic men who are always willing to lend an ear.

canadianmastiff · 2019-08-17T16:16:04+00:00

Keep your head up, you will make it. And from here I think it’s pretty cool how much support you can find on this sub.

boisdevie · 2019-08-17T16:20:20+00:00

It's ok to cry and it's OK to feel empty. I'd go to the doctors first of all as you might be depressed and a short term course of something might help. Then spend money on therapy - find a good therapist and it will be money well spent. And don't forget all those listening charities out there - you can email jo@samaritans,org which is a UK charity to help those feeling as you are feeling now. They're good - I work as a volunteer for them.

Finally, if you want to talk to me via DM I'd be more than happy to do what I can. I'm 55 years old so a similar age. Good luck.

BlackFire68 · 2019-08-17T16:38:57+00:00

First, grief when there is major change is normal. 6 months on with zero improvement is hitting danger zone.

Second, your main issue is that you lived for her and not for you. You need to care what YOU did today, what YOU got done, how YOU feel. Make that your goal, not someone else. Once you can do all that for YOU, then think about caring for others again. Don't care for others as a proxy for your own meaning.

swankvagabond · 2019-08-17T16:13:01+00:00

I'm really sorry about what happened. That shit hurts but there's always a light at the end of the tunnel, you just need to find it. And whatever you need, MGTOW is here, we are here to help other men rise up in the hardest times. Just don't give up, brother.

itstreasonthen1986 · 2019-08-17T17:10:17+00:00

Fuck this. This is a new beginning for you. Life can start at any age. 25 years or not, pick yourself up and do something that makes you happy. Your life wasn't meant to be lived for anyone else. Realize your life has value. Call your kid, maybe plan a trip to see them and do something you haven't done before with them. Switch your damn focus to something positive. Right now you're in hell and many of us here have been there with you. You are powerful enough to crawl out. You had enough will to post this, you have enough will to get past this. Do something on this Saturday that will take your mind off shit. Go for a walk or watch a movie and let you mind focus on something else. The world doesn't need anymore dead men before it's their time. Now is not yours. You can make it out the other side and find your true purpose. It wasn't to serve woman.

Retiredoomsday · 2019-08-17T17:36:10+00:00

Get a dog

[deleted] · 2019-08-17T16:52:27+00:00

You invested in a lie. It's supposed to sting for the rest of your life but the pain will subside day by day, and one day you will laugh at the brutality of female nature.

Stick around. We make motherfuckers believe in themselves once they been worked by females and their allies.

We all been there at one point in their lives.

Start going to the gym. Walk on treadmill for 30 minutes everyday for next 3 months.

CoinSwapTrader · 2019-08-17T17:44:35+00:00

This is the first day of YOUR new life...you are finally free to live for yourself and not others!

Alexius_von_Meinong · 2019-08-17T18:03:04+00:00

The sadness will pass. It's tough, no mistake, but it's not permanent. You can come out the other side.

Keep moving forward, even if it feels pointless at this time. When the worst passes, you will start to notice little things in that give you pleasure. Start with small satisfactions. It can be as simple as enjoying a good meal or seeing the sunset. Build on these small satisfactions. Your life will come back to you, but it will be a new life.

Don't tackle the big questions now. Purpose will return in another form, but later.

Your son may be in a distant city, but work on building your relationship with him. You can call, exchange text messages, emails, even write old-fashioned letters.

PS - Sorry to say this, but your wife never cared for you. It was all an act. This is your opportunity to rebuild your life on things that are real and things that matter.

[deleted] · 2019-08-17T17:03:42+00:00

what you are going through is natural. we have all been lied to about the real terms underlying our partnerships and had to swallow humiliation of varying degrees at varying times in our lives. The turning points in life are really the hardest to get through since we didnt anticipate it or want it in the first place. But they are our eye openers and truth serums we badly need to understand the matrix we were caught in. One day in the future you will truly feel happy and relieved and thankful that this happened to you. The pain is temporary and is the result of the unraveling of past brainwashing about what an ideal life is supposed to be by the marketing industrial complex sponsored by a gynocentric society ! Once you see it for what it is, you will be happy to have secured your freedom from its tentacles. That day will come too after this period of grief as surely as day follows night. Hold on bro. you are right about to start getting much more happier in life than you have ever been

Tonyb33 · 2019-08-17T17:37:09+00:00

So you are 53 there are two ways of looking at your situation. You can view the positives and you will feel positive or you can wallow on the negatives and feel like shit. To quote Apollo13 let’s have a look at this from a question of status what on the ship still works. Your 53 you are lucky being single at 53 because there are still plenty of women out there, you still have time. You need to start working on the following 1. Friends get some believe me there are lots of 50 year old single men looking for friendship and mutual support, that’s project 1. Health work on it join a gym get jogging lift weights, a powerful body will make a powerful mind, that’s project 2. Money you are going to need some find more ways to make it and more ways to save it that’s project 3. Believe me get the three projects going do not wallow wake up and plan how you advance when you go to bed audit what you have achieved. Every time you switch to negative thoughts switch back to 1,2 3.

NYCCOOP · 2019-08-17T19:11:23+00:00

Hey buddy, sorry to hear that. It sucks.

I am in your sage age category, I was married twice and while both times I was the one who left, I understand the sense of loneliness and the lack of purpose.

If your insurance covers it, try therapy. While it's not great and not a solution; it will help in the short term.

PM me if you want to chat.

pharmd718 · 2019-08-17T19:41:32+00:00

52 and divorced here. It gets better. I promise you. I know from where you’re looking right now it looks impossible to go on. You feel that you will never be happy again. I promise you that you will. It will take time, but you will get there.

sirreaper4 · 2019-08-17T16:46:32+00:00

You Deserve Better, you Deserve MGTOW;

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E0pJ1Dmr8N4

Also;

Everything is Temporary;

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AI9RZhlsJa8

noobahoi · 2019-08-17T17:16:26+00:00

You will be fine eventually. Just search for new hobbies and find more friends.

o0perfect0o · 2019-08-17T17:49:23+00:00

My stepdad's wife (my mother) just left him. Bad move. He is starting a new business on top of his already lucrative one, working out more, riding his motorcycle, and spending time with his kids.

You have to change your mindset and focus on new ventures in life, brother.

Learn to love yourself.

JohnPettimore · 2019-08-17T17:59:03+00:00

57 here very similar story. Do not give up. More later but there is a future. Just dig in .

gi0rno_gi0vanna · 2019-08-17T18:47:38+00:00

Getting used to a bachelor lifestyle can be difficult, but think of it as being a 20 year old in a new city. You can practice freedom with your own restraint and not someone else's.

The possibilities are endless when you realize how much you can do, which later turns into what you need to do.

Cizzar · 2019-08-17T19:33:14+00:00

it occurs to me that there's no one to care for me

Have a look in the mirror, there's the person you're looking for.

You're a big boy now, you don't need mommy to cut your steak for you.
When you start to love yourself, you're never in bad company if you're alone.
You should focus your care on yourself and make yourself your mission ...

magx01 · 2019-08-17T19:33:30+00:00

When my wife was with me I had a mission, something to live for.

Ask yourself this: Why is she worthy of this energy but you are not?

GmanRaz · 2019-08-17T21:25:58+00:00

I know its shit man. But what you need to accept is that your ex wife was never ever what you thought she was. She was always the shit slime ball that was always just looking to dispose of you like a tissue.

My ex wife cheated on me after 9 years of marriage and lied etc.. even though I supported her through all her bullshit mental illnesses and everything else. I was essentially an emotional tampon for a decade. She cheated and left me for some guy at her work. And I'm 36, in good shape (and good looking) and make decent money. Women are not biologically capable of love, loyalty and even to some degree real empathy. Never have been, never will be. This is the truth of the red pill. Feminism etc.. didn't turn women this way, Feminism is simply took away the smokescreen to what women are really like by nature. Sure there are 2% of women out there that wont blatantly act on their hypergamy but it's not worth the risk trying to find one. And even if you did, you'd never achieve true satisfaction because even being with a 2%er implies that you are placing your happiness and sense of self worth on another human being. A human being whos reality is determined by how she feels at the present moment in time.

I get the pain man. I have been divorced for a year now and it still hurts at times. Maybe it always will. But you have to let it go. Rediscover who you were before you met that cunt and find new purpose. It will be hard but to quote Shawshank redemption. Either get busy living, or get busy dying.

krishnabellani · 2019-08-17T19:10:27+00:00

There’s 7,655,957,369 people in the world. I bet in best case scenario, not more than 369 people know neither your wife, nor your son; worst case scenario, not more than 957,369 people know neither your wife, nor your son. Guess what? They live their lives perfectly comfortably. You write your life’s story. Don’t let it be a pathetic one. Please do this: Look at a picture of yourself, from when you were a baby. Look at your past self, and ask your current self this question: “Have I done justice to this brilliant kid, who was once filled with hopes and dreams?”, and you shall have your answer, to this question. You have you. You have YOU. You were the only one who was with you, when you took birth. You will be the only one with you, when you pass away. You are the only one in your life, who has been with you, through LITERALLY everything. You are your backup. You are everything you truly know and love, you are the only thing you truly know and love. Godspeed, my friend.

nigelh · 2019-08-17T19:26:37+00:00

We sympathise. Being abandoned is probably worse than being left a widower as I was but you have to use the same ways to cope. You must look after yourself. Eating, sleeping, cleaning, shopping and all the chores. This is how you regain your self worth and your dignity. You have defined yourself in terms of your wife for decades but now you must realise that your value is not diminished. Also, don't forget to phone your son regularly now.

38yearsoffreefallin · 2019-08-17T20:40:24+00:00

I’m sorry to read this. I can feel the heartbreak in your words. Try to rediscover yourself. All the things you’ve ever wanted to do , do it now . Hang in there man don’t let her take your hope, passion and love

AdonisSefa · 2019-08-17T20:43:54+00:00

You sir are a fucking hero. Cry, cry the shit out of you but move on while crying. You're still young go do some walking or hiking it will keep your mind and body busy you'll sleep better and will get emotionally stronger. We all stay behind you as your Friends and brothers.

Start meditating start visualize your worst dreams and take a cold shower you'll feel better and your situation will hurt you less.

Start learning about the best philosophy out there STOICISM you'll enjoy it bet my nuts for it.

Remember Stay strong hard times create strong people🙏

FaustoLG · 2019-08-17T20:58:50+00:00

You will survive, we will make sure of that...

Just listen the advice the more experienced will give you.

countinginsolitude · 2019-08-17T21:04:25+00:00

My ex left me after 7 years , so you're experiencing 4x the pain I did. I went as low as any man can go. I cried everyday for months. But you know what, the answer is to set goals. Start with small achievable goals e.g walk 2 miles on the weekend. The week after, walk 4 miles.

Then maybe a fitness goal e.g don't go crazy on drink or sugar. Every goal will revalidate you. You survived before her and you'll survive after. Remember: you're the prize. Start learning new things. Read a book. Educate yourself on a topic. You have time now. Enjoy life. Anything you wanted to do but couldn't? The time is now. You're gonna do great, man....

gsharm · 2019-08-17T21:10:27+00:00

If you need something to love, get a dog.

If you need to feel loved, find God, for God is love.

To practically get over near-term slumber, try this: https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B077BKXRV4/ref=tmm_aud_title_0?ie=UTF8&qid=1566076892&sr=8-1 - get the audiobook version if you prefer - it’s narrated by the author and his books have really helped me turn my health around in the past few months.

NeverNeverLandIsNow · 2019-08-17T22:20:02+00:00

I got divorced at 50, after 19 years of marriage and my life is great now, I am now 52. I can tell you that you don't need anyone to care for you, you can care for your self. If she left you after 25 years then obviously the relationship with her was not what you thought it was and although it hurts like hell you can move on and thrive, I have been getting into hobbies I used to have before I was married and started some new ones and I am having a blast.

I do have a dog and I highly recommend one, they give you something to take care of and you have to think about something other than yourself and they are great companions and they won't turn on you, of course, I realize pets aren't for everyone but something to think about.

Realize that you are free to do whatever you want now, you can build another life, different from the life you had before but this one can be tailor-designed for YOU. Don't let sadness keep you from recreating a new life for yourself, this can be a good thing for you, but you have to choose to look at it that way.

Full_moon_in_hell · 2019-08-18T06:43:42+00:00

Become a selfish bastard and start living for yourself. You've earned it. You deserve it. Start doing new things that are fresh and unique. I follow Starcraft and PUBG Esports and I love watching Sumo every other month. I also just bought a freeze dryer that is getting delivered on Monday, thats going to be a blast of a new hobby and my larder resources will be prepared for most anything that life might throw at me or this country. My long term goal is to buy an Airstream. When you sit down and think about it you will be amazed at the things you can do instead of when you had that ball and chain dragging you down. Live for yourself, you owe it to yourself.

PotOfBeans · 2019-08-18T10:34:56+00:00

Get a pet dog and maybe a cat as well. Consider joining a charity or taking up a new hobby. Your short term objective should be to eat better, that could mean learning to cook.

NamasteFelicia · 2019-08-17T16:19:24+00:00

What you need to do is become the best version of yourself and make her regret her decision. The best revenge is living well/massive success.

If you quit now you always lose. Start writing down daily goals and work towards a 3 month schedule. After 3 months check back and reassess everything and do it again.

throw_7 · 2019-08-17T17:55:33+00:00

Now you can define your own purpose.

Define your own reason to live.

Live for yourself and not for somebody else.

Figure out what you want in life, and what you want to be in life.

Tagpls · 2019-08-17T17:56:59+00:00

I'm much less experienced than you and I don't think I've experienced something as painful, but I still want to try to help you.

Please don't become an other statistic on some spreadsheet, I know you feel like you don't have a purpose anymore, but maybe there is still hope don't give up.

Go and get yourself a dog, try to read as many books as possible, change job, learn to play the guitar, try to experience some drugs, do something, anything to change your current mindset, maybe you ve always wanted to learn blacksmithing? Maybe try to run a marathon? Become a black belt in whatever you want. Try to help the homeless in your city? Bike through Italy in the middle of June?

There could still be a way out, some way you can escape.

immaluckez · 2019-08-17T18:13:08+00:00

Spirituality might be your thing. Finding true meaning within yourself. Astral projection might open your horizons

CodeDaniel · 2019-08-17T18:34:58+00:00

I unterstand you brother.

This hard times will get over.

Accept your feelings and judge your wife for her actions ONLY

arapaima12345 · 2019-08-17T18:45:44+00:00

When you have a family it becomes less about your partner and more about your legacy. Your son work in distant city, but I'm sure he might enjoy your company more. Does he have children? You can nurture your grandkids, or you can find a mission in setting up a good life for them. Why don't you write a book about your life for them?

If you really need company everyday, get a dog! They are truly wonderful companions and will never abandon you.

Worst case scenario, you should pick up all the "silly" hobbies that you had to give up when you became a father. Hunting, fishing, exploring, pets, motorcycles, games, music, art, whatever you find amusing. Go watch an old movie. Enroll into a yoga course. Explore nature! Help others in need! Don't give up my fellow brother, the world still needs you and you can still have fun even if you're just alone by yourself.

Edixo1993 · 2019-08-17T18:47:44+00:00

My man, I'm half your age, but I relate. You need a change of scenery. Move somewhere new, get a new job, perhaps closer to your son. Or hit the road with no destination in mind. When you have nothing left to lose, the world is your oyster.

AeternusDoleo · 2019-08-17T19:16:14+00:00

It occurs to me that there's no one to care for me.

That's one of the most bitter of red pills to swallow. That ties of brotherhood are stronger then those of love usually... That as a man, you stand alone in this world. But there is also freedom in this. You get to decide where to stand, and with whom. As stated elsewhere, I would recommend looking into volunteer communities or group hobbies - you seem to crave interaction (extrovert trait). The "monk mode" isn't for everyone. Even if it's only a few times a month, it'll give you that to look forward to, and prepare for.

It will give you a small sense of purpose again, and that is something EVERY man needs.

FunkyCannaHigh · 2019-08-17T19:20:43+00:00

Look up big brother my man, there are tons of kids that asshole dad's walked away from that could use that love and attention.

Living just for yourself or simply to just exist sucks. Charity work and helping people is the best way to spend your free time, IMO.

MikeHockinya · 2019-08-17T19:22:24+00:00

Do you have a dog? If you do, you still have a mission. You still have someone that waits for you to wake up, and return home.

If you don't have a dog, I recommend you go down to the nearest kill shelter, and find one on death row, one who has lost purpose, one that can't go on without you, one that hasn't eaten well since he was abandoned.

Puppies are cute, and often find homes much faster than the dog that grew up with a family, only to be abandoned when he was no longer convenient. That is the dog you want. the cast-off, the cast-away, the loving companion and friend that was simply not wanted any longer. You'll know him when you see him, and he will know you.

Take him home, feed him, spend time getting to know one another, and you will find that you were lost together.

Then you will have a companion like no other. Loyal to the end, loving, playful, consoling, and always there for you.

Someone once told me, "Feed a dog, show affection, and give it a place to live under your roof, and he will think you are God and worship you till the day he dies. Feed a cat, show affection, give it a place to live under your roof, and it will think that it is God and will abandon you the moment it finds a better home. Men are dogs, women are cats."

damnrite · 2019-08-17T19:26:16+00:00

Take it one day at a time.

Do something nice for yourself and do something nice for someone in need.

jstrockmeyer · 2019-08-17T19:33:49+00:00

I think I have nothing to add to these tons of awesome advice, but I want to be one more, just in case you feel like counting how many fellow men heard you.

So, I hear you too. And you CAN, believe it.

knightwrangler · 2019-08-17T19:44:26+00:00

I understand your feelings.

In your time of grief it is hard to find purpose...but you must! using the tools provided by being a man-using strength and determination!

Change is hard but look to the past of what you have learned and with the realization that you now have found us...we are an incredibly supportive network with the ability here to re-build, reenergize and revitalize men!

We are all here to help and provide guidance and we welcome your stay here. Realize that all is not lost and you can create a new foundation with knowledge within this subreddit and with it will bring uplifting positive outlook for your future.

It will take time, but hang on as it will only get better.

Welcome to the brotherhood.

Jaja_Aureolin · 2019-08-17T19:45:34+00:00

Well , I assume that it's due to your age. I suggest you get a kitten to raise.

When I'm down I pray to God.I believe that even a bloodsucking vampire can be redeemed. No one can save you unless you make an internal change - starting from your beliefs. God helps those who help themselves ,all you need is to make a small action as the first step. I'm not going to point you to a particular religion - just pray with the intention that you are asking the all powerful true God whoever he is ,for his guidance and help in all affairs. I'll pray for you too.

U-94 · 2019-08-17T19:56:41+00:00

It's Logan's Run and your light is blinking.

Hemmeroidhenry · 2019-08-17T19:56:51+00:00

If you don't have anything left where you are, why don't you move closer to you son?

HeadOfPubes · 2019-08-17T20:18:15+00:00

Everything I wanted to say has already been said but I wanted to be another guy chiming in on how much life actually becomes better once you're free. Don't feel embarrassed if you're foundering because you really are a fish out of water at this point. The thing is, life holds a million adventures and at 53 you still have plenty of time to begin again.

I was lost the first year myself and decided to do all the things my ex would never have permitted.

I bought guns, motorcycles, played videogames, watched porn, I did whatever I wanted with no nagging.

My point isn't to spend your way to happiness but to see the potential in being able to be the master of your own domain.

Take a woodshop class or learn how to properly prepare a brisket.

Just because you wake up alone doesn't mean you have to be lonely. Go take down an elk or break out a language app and learn how to speak a language you've always wondered about.

You have time now.

Time to shine, time to breath, time to find out who you really are.

Trumps2ndButtPlug · 2019-08-17T21:19:38+00:00

Try /r/survivinginfidelity

Esoteric-Wanderlust · 2019-08-17T21:31:19+00:00

I’m incredibly sorry to hear you’re suffering the way you are. Many of us here have been forced to endure what you’re currently going though, and while it undoubtedly feels very bleak, you’re going to make it though this. One of the most important things that I had to relearn was how to put myself first.

In my past relationships I’d stopped seeing myself as the focus, instead thinking of the marriage/relationship as the objective. I poured myself into them, incidentally ignoring my own needs and placing them on the pyre of the relationship. In doing so, I set myself up for those same feeling you’re talking about. I felt like I was drifting, without focus or objective. Until I finally figured out what I should have known all along. I’m the focus. I’m the objective.

Your happiness, success, and health are your focus. It’s perfectly normal and healthy to feel what you’re feeling. The end of every relationship is a kind of death. The loss of hopes, dreams, and expectations can be absolutely devastating. It certainly was for me. Don’t beat yourself up for having very human emotions. Let yourself feel them, cry if you need to. Not a damn bit of shame in that.

The next step in your healing process is going to be putting yourself first. Dive headfirst into your hobbies, whatever they are. Make time to do the things that you enjoy doing. For me it started as a coping mechanism, but as the gym and fitness in general is one of my passions, it’s had very real and measurable results. It’s improved my self image, both with my appearance, and the pride I have in myself for making myself go when I didn’t want to. Hell, I’ve read 87 books since last July, and I’ve strengthened the relationships that I have with my friends with how much we’ve spent time together.

Nothing I’ve told you here has instantly changed your life, I know. It wouldn’t. Healing takes time, but you can at least spend this time learning about the man you are. Putting yourself first is a critical component in your journey forward. I know you feel alone, but I’m glad you took the time to post. I’d give you a hug (I’m definitely a hugger), but I’m pretty limited in that regard since I’m typing on my phone. We’re here for you man.

da_kochevnik · 2019-08-17T21:44:40+00:00

I'm almost 60 - wife bailed a couple years ago leaving me with two kids. Fifteen years down the drain for essentially no reason at all so I feel you man.

Here's the thing - the first year is TOUGH no doubt - men love VERY deeply, we put everything into our relationships - women you are going to be surprised to find out, do not.

Read.

Get Rollo Tomassi's Rational Male books, especially the first one.

Read this : https://archive.is/plIpj

And this : https://therationalmale.com/2011/10/03/war-brides/

The read everything on the side bar.

Then stay in r/mgtow and go read the thousands of stories by men, justl like you who have had their wives walkaway. Go google 'walkaway wife' - its actually a 'thing'.

As an old guy I thought I knew a LOT about women. I was completely and totally wrong about that, and so are you based on your post.

The best news is it gets WAY better, first year is hell, second year is better, third year I am happier than I was when I was married.

Men solve problems - go solve yours.

throwmyaccountaway99 · 2019-08-17T21:46:46+00:00

I am like 25 years younger so maybe I'm not one to say this, but. You need to start learning to live for yourself I think. If you still have a job that is paying you well enough and a place to live, then actually I see that as great, since you now you have a lot of time and money to learn about yourself and how to improve.

It will be hard at first. But I think throughout our lives we need to constantly learn. Otherwise we end up stagnating, which isn't good.

Maybe it seems silly, but one of my recommendations would be to learn how to eat properly (i recommend a healthy keto or close to it, you can go to 100g carbs especially if you work out), about fasting (and intermittent) and it's benefits, exercise and mindful meditation. It's never too late to learn self-discipline in regards to your mind and body. You may think you're in control of your mind, but after meditating i realized how many pointless thoughts stress you out throughout the day. And exercise also helps you with such feelings like depression and sadness. Maybe it sounds silly, but there are a lot of studies that show this. And I'd recommend weight lifting or body weight exercise and not that much cardio (unless it's plyometrics or something like box jumps).

Good youtube channels that I can recommend are What I've Learned, Athlean -x (for exercises and proper form), Calisthenic movement (for bodyweight stuff, there are advanced things but good beginner ones too), High intensity health also has a lot of interviews which some should be taken with a grain of salt, but overall it's a really good channel. There are also other doctors like ben bikman, dr. jason fung, dr. garry fetke, dr. Paul Mason that have really good videos on nutrition as well. I really liked this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NUY_SDhxf4k and ben bikmans' one on insulin and glucagon https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z3fO5aTD6JU

RedPilledFanatic · 2019-08-17T21:56:43+00:00

Ah! Now it makes sense OP. Trump chaining that ugly tanker from Iran. Don't tell him it's your wretched nagging specimen of ugliness. I'm 4 and my age peers look like sh*t already. FFS you haven't lose a purpose. You just gained one. OP, women are insane. They are never satisfied. While we men are satisfied with the smallest things in life. Just let your ex ride her rollator cock carousel to eternity. You don't need ffing anyone to care for you. You can do that yourself perfectly. I consider to be from your generation. TL;DR: what we've been taught was a total lie. Women are useless. In every aspect in life. And if you're that thirsty still: just blow a few hundred/ thousand to F the perfect gal you can rent. You don't need that incontinent, support stockings carrying hag. She never loved you in the first place. She wasn't your purpose/ goal/ meaning in life. It was the other way around. So what if you wake up alone, get home without that aircraft carrier waiting for you to nag your brains out over nothing? You just dodged a direct total nuclear strike OP. F the sadness. F the lies we've been taught. She was never yours, it was just your turn. Focus on yourself. It's that easy. Be proud of your son who seem to have made it in life. Just let him know you're there when you can. I lost my dad at the age of 57 and I'd happily trade my earthly possessions to be able to talk with him for 1 minute. I'd say: "I love you dad. I miss you so much. I knew you were supposed to go before I did. But not that fast. Thank you for all the wisdom you gave me. Thank you for your last words to me "I'm proud with you, son."" IMO those things matter. Not some imbecile thot who will never be satisfied in her wretched existence.

Content_Not_History · 2019-08-17T22:05:14+00:00

You should buy an EUC (Electric Unicycle), learn it, love it.. go on rides with people from the EUC forums.

You should get a virtual reality setup, and have fun with that.

You have a pet? What are you passionate about?

Look at this as an opportunity to start anew! Have a fantastic single life... get in shape, hit the gym.. I'm tellin' ya, this is just the start to a great life.

independent_rooster · 2019-08-17T22:36:06+00:00

sorry man..

get a puppy, as strange as it sounds.

you don't really need a wife, you need somebody who loves you. just hang in on there, it will pass

Grant1412 · 2019-08-17T22:43:56+00:00

Damn your stupid ex-wife!

She didn't value your "mission" which was all about her. She didn't value the 25 years you invested in her.

Damn her to hell!

Your purpose is now YOU.

I'm really worried about you and I'm sure others here are too. Please comment so that we know you are ok.

suhmydudessssss · 2019-08-17T22:45:23+00:00

"No one to care for me" you're a man, if nobody in this world cares about you you care about yourself. That's the one person you can always rely on.

You're 53, you have money most likely saved up. Go on a trip, move to someplace that helps you better explore your masculinity. Not having your wife around leaves you to do the things you ACTUALLY want to do, WHEN you want to do them. No questions asked.

Darth_Horseman · 2019-08-17T22:47:55+00:00

I'm gonna tell you the same thing i told myself for the past 10 years. If you come to a point that you can't live by yourself anymore, then start living for the people you love. People take their own lives to "end the pain" when they're actually just passing the pain to the people who loved them. If you take your own life, everything you are and everything you lived, will be reduced to a bad memory.

HotAndColdSlaw · 2019-08-17T23:11:46+00:00

There is not a lot of information to go on, so I will guess. My guesses may be wrong.

First of all, you have to eat. That means that you have to (re)learn how to make food. You can eat out for a couple of days, but a lot of restaurant food is shit, so you should learn how to cook good food.

Exercise to get in better shape.

It is not true that there is no one to care for you. YOU should take care of you. You are an adult man so you should be able to take care of yourself. I am not saying this will be easy because you will have to change your ways. We all get set in our ways when we get older. Now is your chance to become young again. You have to DECIDE to change.

You do not need anyone to wait for you to wake up, or to return home. You can do these things on your own.

If you feel sad, perhaps this is normal as your marriage has finished. Ok. Maybe you should talk to your friends or see a counselor about your feelings. But, do not take drugs to deal with normal feelings. Go on with your life, and improve.

delongpike · 2019-08-17T23:19:28+00:00

Defiantly seek treatment for depression, consider it the first step you need to take for recovery.

Also, exercise - take a walk every day, or buy a bike. Go swimming. You get the idea.

Although you feel alone, you are no more alone than when she was with you. Her being there for you was an act, nothing more. You will adjust and even get to enjoy time alone. Get a cat (easy maintenance) or a dog (higher maintenance, which will keep your mind occupied, and dogs are very personable) and make friends on line. Text and spend time with your kids or relatives. If friends or family have zero'd you out - fuck 'em.

Most of the time these soulless women will attempt to contact you or make amends .... under NO CIRCUMSTANCES allow this to happen. Stand Tall, Stay Strong, Heal, Avoid Blood Suckers.

jafbm · 2019-08-18T00:01:35+00:00

Learn to play the mandolin. PM me. My teacher teachers online. Then join a group. It's a lot of fun.

harv1966 · 2019-08-18T00:07:49+00:00

Dude I felt the way you do exactly. Divorced 4 years ago and I'm getting better everyday. I won't lie its a process it won't happen over night. Maybe you need to shake things up a bit maybe move where your son lives. Remember you are free and can do anything you want. Keep your chin up bud.

FindingKeeping · 2019-08-18T01:39:25+00:00

Get a Puppy mate. You will feel better

slitheryssssloth · 2019-08-18T02:16:35+00:00

Hey from a healthy mindset- the best thing to do is heal by loving others. In your head don’t hold anger or bitterness. Chose to wish love, peace, and happiness to those who hurt you, strangers, and those you love. Also wish that for yourself. Go do things that make you happy or peak your interest. I know it can be hard to move on but there’s no true healing in anger. Things get better and you’ll find a new passion in life

YoungestBuickOwner · 2019-08-18T02:45:26+00:00

The mere fact you’re posting this here tells me you’ll be ok. I took the long road and ended up here. Be grateful for what you have, live in the now, anger will not help you, freedom is underrated and accept your reality. Once you accept it, complaining and feeling sorry for yourself is pointless. Keep grinding.

strainer123 · 2019-08-18T02:46:17+00:00

Newsflash, she didn't care for you. Thats why she divorced, you have to be your best friend, you have reasons to live, improve yourself, save money, have something to show for your son, help him, call him, he needs you buddy.

[deleted] · 2019-08-18T02:54:44+00:00

Every-time you feel like you can't make it, come back here let us know whats going on and we'll help you through it. Most of us have been through this and most of us felt exactly like you do now, and we made it.

ChadThundercock7 · 2019-08-18T03:08:05+00:00

Emptiness also had potencial for new things to find out and live for, the world is yours now! Don't lose hope! There has to be anything you wanted to do but left behind for family's sake, good time to pick it up again.

throw_away_thethrow_ · 2019-08-18T03:11:31+00:00

Don't give up, sir! What you are experiencing is the side effects of relationship fusion. You have lost your own identity.

One day at a time, regain it! Write down the things that used to interest you before investing everything in your relationship. Record it in a notebook.

Write how you can achieve them and write down what you did daily to treat yourself.

You can do this!

PapacusRoman · 2019-08-18T04:14:53+00:00

Talk to your son, I would be sad AF if something happened to my father, ask him to stay with you one weekend

Ezarra · 2019-08-18T04:22:10+00:00

Why did she leave you? Was she seeing someone else?

kitcho · 2019-08-18T04:27:47+00:00

Dude, you now have all the time in the word to do what YOU want to do. You have one life. Life it the way YOU want to.

FlyingSexistPig · 2019-08-18T04:29:53+00:00

You are the prize.

I know that what you're going through is very very hard. But it's hard because your previous life was based on a lie.

Now you live your life for you. And you are far more worthy than she was.

lonewolfsigmamgtow · 2019-08-18T08:29:23+00:00

See a boys school or something. Please volunteer for a charity. If you are a vet or a law enforcement guy please teach them self-defense.

1gbh · 2019-08-18T13:16:42+00:00

Been there bro, happened to me and now I see it as a blessing that it happened. What did I do?

I took a 3 week vacation to Pattaya Thailand and never looked back. I suggest you try something similar to clear your mind then come back and try some of the suggestions the other guys have mentioned.

cujoduruzo · 2019-08-19T19:02:41+00:00

Stop focusing on your sadness and instead focus on what you do want in life. What do you enjoy doing? Get out and do it? What do you enjoy eating? Google the recipe and learn how to cook it. Find a new mission in life and make yourself happy.

poopstainonscarf · 2019-08-17T19:36:17+00:00

Hang in there. You have the ultimate freedom to do anything you want.

Ba11d5ack · 2019-08-17T19:39:08+00:00

As a man of similar age, I remember all the authority figures in my life pointing to a fulfilled life being exactly what YOU HAD, parents, teachers, friends, govt., movies, books, etc... and then there's biology, and emotions. All these thing said "THIS IS WHAT YOU WANT", no matter how difficult, or the cost, YOU MUST get this to be happy. I believed it for a while, as do most men. I believe it no longer. I'm sorry for your loss in this. You are a man. ALL that you NEED is within, and NOW you have the FREEDOM to find what you truly desire. A rescue dog may help some with the emotion. Good luck. You are not alone.

Hirryu · 2019-08-17T23:01:39+00:00

You’re here for a reason. You may not know what that reason is, but you have a purpose here.

In solidarity.

Title	Lost the will to live
Author	halo1900
Upvotes	351
Comments	114
Date	August 17, 2019 3:50 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/crnuu3/lost_the_will_to_live/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/lost-the-will-to-live.409154 https://theredarchive.com/post/409154

Comments