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Don't let TRP consume you.

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ozaku7
November 28, 2017
746 upvotes
TheRedPill
Don't forget to just enjoy life and not be consumed by anger or hatred that resulted from learning about TRP. I've seen users spending their entire afternoons on this sub, but in the end it's bringing you nowhere. You need to know what is important for you, accept how the world works and keep going on with your life. Don't make TRP your life, make it a guide that will help you to greater succes, to better people and better girlfriends in your life.
Be the guy that just understand the perspective of a woman, which is showered with dicks on a daily basis and understand her behaviour. If pussy would be thrown on us the same way, we would behave identically (see 1950's, I guess? The turning point when women realized they can stop doing all the effort and the tides turned). Don't hate the game, learn to play the game and enjoy it while you are improving in playing it.
You don't have the lifetime to be bitter, just swallow it, accept it, forget about the taste and look forward to the nicer things in life. I take TRP also way beyond sexual strategy, but life itself. I will die at 80, I might die sooner, my body will start degrading after 30 unless I actively do something about it. Every second I am coming closer to death, and yes, this sounds very negative and depressing, but it signifies that I would rather be happy, have fun, improve myself for my future self so I can enjoy life even more.
Don't fight reality, don't hate it, don't try to change it. Go with the flow and make it yours, live a happy life. The human mind is powerful, but for good and the bad. Face reality, hear, feel, see, taste, instead of imagining. Many of the misconception about the world come from just fantasizing, from being isolated in your own mind which completely skews your perception of reality. TRP is useless if you stay just as isolated. Read TRP, but observe, find links, see the truth with your own eyes, hear it with your own ears and keep learning.
Face reality, don't do TRP if you can't do that.

Post Information
Title Don't let TRP consume you.
Author ozaku7
Upvotes 746
Comments 80
Date 28 November 2017 01:19 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit TheRedPill
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/47401
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/7g09qy/dont_let_trp_consume_you/
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Comments

[–]Endorsed ContributorThotwrecker236 points237 points  (9 children) | Copy

There is an old school saying "The map is not the territory" that needs to be drilled into everyone's head here from time to time. The idea is that a theory or a system of beliefs or some manmade construct that represents the universe... is just a map of the actual thing itself. SMV and SMP (sexual market value, sexual market place) are ways of understanding an economy and our role in it; there is no real such thing as an SMV. It is a map of the thing itself, a vehicle we can use to understand why a broke musician might get laid more than a dentist. Likewise all of TRP is our attempt to understand an expansive reality, a reality that does frustrate and confuse us, even when we delude ourselves into thinking we have "mastered it".

Now, there is more value initially to studying a map than studying reality. If I tell you to understand how China works culturally and geographically and economically, you start with a map, that does more than actually observing and visiting cities. After you have a understanding and theoretical knowledge of what is where, and what cities align with what customs and what languages, what industries and sectors centralize in what areas, etc, then what? You need to go see the reality and study it with your own eyes. Refering back to the map to help make sense of what you are seeing from time to time, but by and large, your own mind and your own eyes have to take in the real world in front of you.

Understanding this point of inflection is the key to TRP, and why I sometimes go months without posting. There is a lot of utility in maps, but there is diminishing returns; I respect many guys on here but why would I trust an aspiring creative writer's version of reality over what I can see with my own eyes? If I want to know what it takes to fuck 9s or how dating works as a minority, I'll go find out myself. I know what the map says, but the map is not reality; I know what TRP thinks about X, but that's not reality, that's our collective best estimation of reality.

A lot of people are like "Face Reality - accept that all women are cheating whores." And sure, that's valuable, it is sound advice for a full BP guy to internalize. But I would say facing reality means acknowledging there is a world in front of you that you can learn from, and you can observe how women behave for your fucking self. My version of that TRP axiom (AWALT) is that women are as good as they have to be, and they don't have to be very good most of the time to get by. We all lie, cheat, and steal if the prize is tastier than what we are currently eating, and women aren't raised to value willpower and self-discipline. She's not a cheating whore, she's a child and you're an idiot if you thought she wouldn't get into the jar of candy when you are... a stalk of celery. Anyway, you see how I have my own version and interpretation of a common TRP trope. This is what happens when you actually observe and learn from going out a lot and interaction with a metric fuckton of city girls. You actually formulate your own red pill.

This is what it means to me to not be consumed by the red pill. You know, after like 3 months of reading here, what all the theory is. You have a map, but if you don't actually know anything at all, you're ignorant of reality, you just know how to regurgitate like a geo bee kid who can say "AHA! THE CAPITAL OF CHINA is BEIJING AND HERE ARE THE TOP 5 FACTS ABOUT BEIJING". Buy a fucking plane ticket and go see it, and if you really need it, sure, pull out your map from time to time.

[–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet36 points37 points  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly.

A map is useless if you never visit the place.

[–]broek_32511 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

Spot on. TRP is a great reference, and a guide for when you find yourself getting lost. It’s not just a map, but also a living document with troubleshooting guides for common issues men may face.

It’s absolutely vital you actually get out there and learn first hand, only then does anything on the map actually start to make sense.

I will say TRP has helped me the most not in the anger stage, but in the depression stage. Humans relate and feel comfort in knowing others are also experiencing their pain, and it’s helped me to no end when I’m feeling like shit, come onto TRP, and speak with guys who feel what I feel, or have felt it before.

[–]Senior Endorsed Contributormax_peenor8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

"The map is not the territory"

Yup. Too many people look into a tool box and think the specific arraignment of tools in there has a higher meaning. No. They are just tools. The only meaning you will ever get from them is when you take them in your hands and build something.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

If once we were able to view the Borges fable in which the cartographers of the Empire draw up a map so detailed that it ends up covering the territory exactly [...] this fable has now come full circle for us, and possesses nothing but the discrete charm of second-order simulacrum [...] It is the real, and not the map, whose vestiges persist here and there in the deserts that are no longer those of the Empire, but ours. The desert of the real itself.

[–]Pogodick8in690 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Did read it all but your opening paragraph should be applied to all: science, math, physics, politics, etc. theory, equations are not real. What’s real is real. Theory is just a tool.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

A really really valuable comment. thanks for the reminder

[–]DodgedAFew-4 points-3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I dunno, would rather watch a documentary than visit the rainforest or breath the Beijing air. The map analogy cuts both ways.

[–][deleted] 107 points108 points  (6 children) | Copy

I will die at 80, I might die sooner, my body will start degrading after 30 unless I actively do something about it.

This sounds strange but I usually think of death before cold approaching. I'm going to be dead & rotting in 80 years why wouldn't I approach this girl.

[–]1SirKolbath77 points78 points  (0 children) | Copy

I will die at 80, I might die sooner, my body will start degrading after 30 unless I actively do something about it.

This sounds strange but I usually think of death before cold approaching. I'm going to be dead & rotting in 80 years why wouldn't I approach this girl.

"Life is sweet. Death lasts for a very long time. Imma get that ass."

Yeah, me too.

[–]JackGetsIt5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

Sounds like DGAF attitude. Yamamoto Tsunetomo wrote about this in relation to battle.

If a warrior is not unattached to life and death, he will be of no use whatsoever. The saying that "All abilities come from one mind" sounds as though it has to do with sentient matters, but it is in fact a matter of being unattached to life and death. With such non-attachment one can accomplish any feat.

and

Every day without fail one should consider himself as dead. Meditation on inevitable death should be performed daily. Every day when one's body and mind are at peace, one should meditate upon being ripped apart by arrows, rifles, spears and swords, being carried away by surging waves, being thrown into the midst of a great fire, being struck by lightning, being shaken to death by a great earthquake, falling from thousand-foot cliffs, dying of disease or committing seppuku at the death of one's master. And every day without fail one should consider himself as dead

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

The second paragraph is incredible.

[–]JackGetsIt3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yea. Hagakure is a gold mine of Wisdom. There's also a mob movie called, "Ghost Dog: Way of the Samurai" staring Forrest Whitaker that used some quotes and philosophies from the book. There's definitely some redpill wisdom there.

Push through fear during approach or other challenges:

There is something to be learned from a rainstorm. When meeting with a sudden shower, you try not to get wet and run quickly along the road. But doing such things as passing under the eaves of houses, you still get wet. When you are resolved from the beginning, you will not be perplexed, though you will still get the same soaking. This understanding extends to everything.

On the failings of masculinity as a result of modernity:

It is a wretched thing that the young men of today are so contriving and so proud of their material possessions. Men with contriving hearts are lacking in duty. Lacking in duty, they will have no self-respect.

On focus and meditation

There is certainly nothing more important in life than what we do at the present moment. A person’s entire life consists of nothing more than one moment piled on top of another, over and over again. Once enlightened to this, the warrior has nothing else to worry about, because he realizes that he has only to live in the present moment with the utmost intensity.

There's even some relationship advice

The secret to a happy marriage is this: Treat your spouse all of your life as you did when you first met and there will never be room for discord.

Finally Yamamoto in his old age sitting under a tree next to a young scribe NAILED the 80/20 principle.

Take a look at the men today. It seems that most of them have a woman’s heart. There are very few true men anymore. It is easy for a strong warrior to gain the advantage these days because so few have any courage at all. This loss of the warrior spirit is easily shown by the fact that men today cannot even behead a convicted criminal with his hands tied behind his back.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Depending on how much of your genetic potential you capitalized on, one may (likely can) be able to improve their current situation. Eg if you only hit 60% of your genetic potential you still have 20-30 points to gain at 30 yrs old.

[–]banjew28 points29 points  (3 children) | Copy

Yep. I spend too much time here. After the beta-me had an encounter with a BPD girlfriend that almost kills me, I found being here and reading this stuff lessen the pain a lot. It's like some kind of treatment, so I used to be here all the time.

After a year, you keep reading the same stuff again and again but it's cool anyway.

[–]dontbedenied6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

Exact same for me. I couldn't stop reading TRP stuff for weeks, even months after I escaped that awful relationship. Very much like a treatment, combined with something like a Men's Group to discuss my problems.

It's been 7 months since the breakup and there are diminishing returns on coming here daily. I think it's a good idea to check in weekly though.

[–]pridebrah2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

The best thing I've done is start a notes file and save certain things (posts, illimitablemen blog quotes). that I can come back to to keep my mind in the right place. I highly recommend doing this, as it helps eliminate a lot of the nonsense that gets posted and keeps you focused on what matters.

I also recommend venturing over into the marred redpill subreddit for some gems scattered throughout there.

[–]dontbedenied1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I also recommend venturing over into the marred redpill subreddit for some gems scattered throughout there.

I couldn't agree more. In fact I read MRP/askMRP much more than I read TRP. Not only educational but a constant reminder of how lucky I am to have not married any of my ex LTRs.

[–]Luiser2744 points45 points  (0 children) | Copy

It’s very easy to let TRP consume you after a bad experience with a woman, and turn jaded and very pessimistic about women.

It takes a man to understand, accept, and continue on with the new information without letting the negativity get to you. Accept things for what they are, enjoy women for what they are and can provide you, and stay on your toes. Life’s funner that way

[–]Arabian_Wolf15 points16 points  (7 children) | Copy

Right now I’m reading “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle, it’s a must-read book for anyone stuck in Anger Phase and want to move on, it focuses on trying to be present in the moment instead of dwelling in the past or the future.

[–]thebeliever5791 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy

thats one hell of a powerful book , if you could apply its principles. its a life changing deal.

[–]Arabian_Wolf1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

Yup, I’m not even halfway through the book and I’m applying what’s mentioned in it, it’s one of the very few self-help books that is applicable in daily life.

[–]thebeliever5791 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

i keep drifting away from the practices but whenever i do apply them its absolutely mind boggling to see the mind games.when ever i am stuck in my head i just focus on the breathing and bodily sensations .the whole outcome of scenario changes where my mind is telling me that THIS is bad for you and typical negative things but when i am just aware of them thoughts i can take action more promptly .where otherwise i would have just naively believed what my mind said

[–]Arabian_Wolf0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

It’s like lifting, you progress in being in the Now over time, no need to rush it.

As for me, I can see my aggressive revenge fantasies subsiding, not completely, but they became alot less darker and grim than before.

[–]thebeliever5791 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

awareness is the key.Bad habits, negative thoughts all eventually go away when you see them just as a mere thought with no emotional attachment to it . In other words not taking them personally.

[–]WolfofAnarchy1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yeah - can I ask what you've been actually applying? Like what actual actionable things from the book?

Personally I've started to sometimes 'ground myself' when I'm walking in the sun or something, becoming actually aware of how good the sun feels on my skin and how great it is that I can walk so freely.

[–]Arabian_Wolf0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Being in the present as much as I can, while not trying to force myself out if my thoughts.

Think of it as active meditation, which the book advocates.

[–]uwey30 points31 points  (2 children) | Copy

--Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one.--

--Tomorrow is nothing, today is too late; the good lived yesterday.--

Marcus "Savage" fucking god dame Aurelius.

[–]Man-with-a-pitchfork10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy

god dame

Dame, son, that's an unfortunate typo.

[–]life2thefullest8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes, I agree with all of this. Lately I've been noticing that I've been too involved with inter social dynamics and I've been following subs and indulging in the drama. Before I found "the red pill" subreddit, I started spinning plates, dating, lifting, the whole self-improvement package. It led me to finding my now current LTR that I've been with for now 9 months. Since I found TRP it made me more aware of game, and has helped me out so much; especially reading the Rational Male series. It was fun at first, but now that I know the core dynamics of TRP, the other parts of this subreddit can just bring me unnecessary drama. I've since unsubscribed from a variety of subreddits such as MGTOW, dating advice, relationships etc. There's no point for me to bring myself down with the fabricated plan to divide genders against each other. Sure there are plenty of skanks, CC riders, wall hitters, and down right vindictive nasty bitches. And thank goodness for that, because without them it would've been much harder to get wild sex while I was looking for a quality LTR. The point is, I don't want to focus on the negativity behind female nature day in and day out. Like the way of the superior man lays it out, enjoy the feminine energy and let it benefit you. You should know what you're getting into with an LTR and let it play it's course.

[–]RedPilledRoaster8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

So true. Don’t let TRP make you a salty sperg CUNT.

[–]Martysteiner8 points9 points  (4 children) | Copy

Let's say TRP is a meditation. We meditate everyday to enhance our lives, this is how we live it better.

You cannot imagine how much happiness and meaning TRP brought in our lives.

[–]lapeparoja9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Amen.For me it is terapeutic Like meditation or flossing it is an important daily item in my routine Not to be bitter, not to be angry.Just mindful of the reality we face as men .

[–]Psychocist6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

I second this. I come here when I swing on either end of the spectrum and become too pessimistic or become too brainlessly beta. It always brings me back to centre.

[–]banjew-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

You cannot imagine how much happiness and meaning TRP brought in our lives.

Not for me. It brought truth and freedom, but not happiness. I was much happier being a beta ignorant asshole that thought love was real and for ever.

It's the ideology behind the Matrix...what do you prefer, happiness or freedom?

[–]WolfofAnarchy0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I was 'content' before tRP. Now I'm happy.

[–]BreakingRed_4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Since I started hitting the gym which is the first advice that you get, the benefits slowly trickled in my life: I focus on building a skill to translate it to a career, I work on my social skills etc (I don't approach yet because I'm too shit physically to do and I stopped going to clubs a decade ago). Nowadays I visit TRP when I have the time.

And this came naturally. I didn't decided NOT to go to TRP, I decided to focus into working on myself. And while reading TRP and the sidebar is part of working on myself (and I'm not done with the sidebar yet) I feel slowly digestion is essential.

It's a pill for a reason: You need small manageable daily doses, not chunk the whole bottle in one go, there's so much new shit you cannot manage and you'll end up in the metaphorical equivalent of ER which is the depressive anger phase.

[–]thebeliever5790 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

knowledge and wisdom are always collected in drops throughout the life.little nuggets here and there . important thing is to aware

[–]anabolic923 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Be the guy that just understand the perspective of a woman, which is showered with dicks on a daily basis and understand her behaviour. If pussy would be thrown on us the same way, we would behave identically (see 1950's, I guess? The turning point when women realized they can stop doing all the effort and the tides turned). Don't hate the game, learn to play the game and enjoy it while you are improving in playing it.

Spot on... and struggling with this. Fucked and fooled around with a girl from class and kind of struggled to see her go dates w/ other guys in the class or getting hit on.

A part of BP brain still takes into my way of thinking I guess, but fuck off I got what I wanted from her (sex) and time to move on onto the another one, abundance is so important as well.

[–]babybelly4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

many MGTOW YT channels i came across seem to be really hung up on AWALT instead of actually GTOW.

[–]Strider_Tolstoi0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Sadly true, many MGTOW also stay on the anger phase for a long time, we can only hope for them to overcome their flaws

[–]Slifer942 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This cannot be stressed enough on this sub, very nice observation mate!

Another thing I would like to add is: use the TRP they way YOU want, not the way other users here do. Have your own goals, do not just blindly follow the ones that other successful guys here do!

[–]Candence_To_Arms2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Moderation. TRP is something that should be taken in steps, not all at once or in large quantities. You take in too much all at once and you might easily misinterpret all the helpful advice this sub provides. You could be stuck in the anger phase or develop a bitterness based on the hard truths that ultimately ruins you.

TRP is designed to be a lens to see through the smokescreen that's been blinding us since we were born. Absorb, analyze and come to terms with the reality of our world. And then let it go.

You're a fucking man. You are the ship in the storm that will not bend or break or lose its way because you are calm and collected.

[–]DirtyNuke2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I rely on the words of the Stoic philosopher Daniel Elfman: "You worry too much You make yourself sad You can't change fate, So don't feel so bad. Enjoy it while you can It's just like the weather. So quit complaining brother, No one lives forever"

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon4 points5 points  (8 children) | Copy

If pussy would be thrown on us the same way, we would behave identically

We would behave differently because men and women are different.

[–]WiiWynn-3 points-2 points  (7 children) | Copy

Not as different as you might think. Most of the ‘differences’ we perceive regularly is mostly from social conditioning. They’ve been conditioned to believe in fairy tale princesses, noble knights, etc. Gotten passes in life for just fluttering their eyes. Etc.

There are women out there, generally with careers, some trauma/challenges from their life, etc. that have shaped and molded them into taking their own version of the pill. And they are generally better human beings for it with depth, wisdom, mindfulness, etc.

TRP is just a realization of how the world works, but also how you should adapt to it to be successful. For me, it was a self-awareness exercise as much as a perspective of the world.

But like OP said. It’s just how things are. And it really only applies to western culture. It’s rather different in other countries/cultures. So it’s a product of our society and the conditioning it puts men and women thru.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon7 points8 points  (6 children) | Copy

Most of the ‘differences’ we perceive regularly is mostly from social conditioning

Certainly this is the narrative. "Men and women are a blank slate that are socially conditioned to act differently".

I don't buy it. The changes are too universal, and you have to also ask the question "why/how did the social conditioning get so different if men and women are the same?".

Fact is men and women have very different optimum sexual strategies, and this means the behaviour is different. Fundamentally men and women are very different at a deep level. It requires a lot of blaming, hamstering and subterfuge to mask this and pretend it's "just conditioning".

There are women out there, generally with careers, some trauma/challenges from their life, etc. that have shaped and molded them into taking their own version of the pill.

Just because they accept their nature, doesn't make them any different.

And they are generally better human beings for it with depth, wisdom, mindfulness, etc.

Yeah. At the age of 30. Coincidentally just at exactly the point they are hitting the wall. "Fuck, banging Chads didn't work, quick! accept the red pill! pretend I've always been about being a good little housewife".

TRP is just a realization of how the world works, but also how you should adapt to it to be successful. For me, it was a self-awareness exercise as much as a perspective of the world.

Absolutely this.

And it really only applies to western culture.

Women are the same everywhere. Sure there are cultural differences, but hypergamy is a universal constant.

So it’s a product of our society and the conditioning it puts men and women thru.

Men don't have it easy anywhere. She's either slutty or asexual. There is no simultaneous sexual utopia for all men.

[–]WiiWynn3 points4 points  (5 children) | Copy

I appreciate your response. My observations are from doing a fair amount of traveling (and fucking) women of different cultures, social status, and education. Also having a very strong independent single mother, a strong career wife, and raising a daughter.

For your first question, women got that way because of having the responsibility of child bearing. It is a significant milestone for anyone to grow another human being, but women uniquely bear the burden of actually serving as a vessel and giving birth.

Beyond the initial stages of breastfeeding, a woman or a man can feed, coach, nurture, mentor a young person into adulthood, either properly or poorly. Single fathers can attest to this, particularly if they’re raising a daughter.

But because historically, access to higher pursuits were limited to women, their only avenue to success is thru family, homemaking, and children, which is a terrible way to live life, being defined by only one specific measure of success.

That history had left a legacy via social norms that we are currently seeing a transition from. Some women still prefer the old conservative ways, and there is nothing wrong with that, but lack the training to actually be good at it (cooking, cleaning, subservience, elegance) due to aggressive feminism without conscience.

Some women yearn for something more, and there’s nothing wrong with that. But for those women, they live in this duality of mutually exclusive success measures, to make a life for yourself by the sweat of your own brow, or motherhood (because it’s fucking hard and takes a village of at least two to really get it right).

Those women essentially need betas to get their life to work correctly, but again, social norms have dictated that a ‘successful pairing’ for her is a career driven alpha when what she really needs is a stay at home beta, both of which can be happy if they forgot about social norms.

These have been my observations, and it seems to have been very consistent the more I meet people, singles, couples, etc.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon-1 points0 points  (4 children) | Copy

women uniquely bear the burden of actually serving as a vessel and giving birth

This is smaller than the burden on men.

access to higher pursuits were limited to women, their only avenue to success is thru family, homemaking, and children, which is a terrible way to live life, being defined by only one specific measure of success.

Terrible for a man at least. This is what women are designed to do - choose a good man and raise good children. Just as we are designed to conquer the world, fuck women, and provider for a family.

Some women still prefer the old conservative ways, and there is nothing wrong with that, but lack the training to actually be good at it (cooking, cleaning, subservience, elegance) due to aggressive feminism without conscience

Right. This social construct has been actively destroyed. And men blamed. "Why won't these men grow up and support me and Chad's babies".

But for those women, they live in this duality of mutually exclusive success measures, to make a life for yourself by the sweat of your own brow, or motherhood (because it’s fucking hard and takes a village of at least two to really get it right).

Yes. Just as we have to choose between being a bachelor and a family man - so do they. Except they actually have good, realistic options and infinite social support and we have neither.

Those women essentially need betas to get their life to work correctly, but again, social norms have dictated that a ‘successful pairing’ for her is a career driven alpha when what she really needs is a stay at home beta, both of which can be happy if they forgot about social norms.

Yup. It's not possible in our current climate.

[–]WiiWynn1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Well, I’ll assert you have a limited view on things. I just came from London. I slept with a surgeon, two private equity wealth managers, and a project manager. Women there are far more successful on average. I’ll assert that in their own fields, their a lot more accomplished and intelligent than I am.

I spent some time in Southeast Asia, where sex is just too easy. You become really numb to advances and really picky on who you spend your time with, so the women there are the ones that have to ‘game’ and you become the one shit-testing. These women are far more traditional and conservative.

Finally, my wife (we’re poly) hasn’t slept with anyone else in a long time. She is concentrating on our children and just simply doesn’t have time, but supports me doing what I want and is even willing to have me bring a second wife home should she be able to contribute to the family in some way (monetary or home domestic skills).

My point is, I built this. Through understanding and compassion for our fairer counterparts. In my opinion, far more success will come from mutual respect and understanding of the challenges faced between men and women. Much of tension, my opinion, is from the social construct of monogamy. But that’s another discussion.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Women there are far more successful on average. I’ll assert that in their own fields, their a lot more accomplished and intelligent than I am.

This is not the norm.

Southeast Asia, where sex is just too easy / These women are far more traditional and conservative.

Traditional, conservative, and sexually free? This doesn't quite ring true.

is even willing to have me bring a second wife home should she be able to contribute to the family in some way (monetary or home domestic skills).

Well, she SAYS that. How it would work out in practice is another matter.

I know a woman who says "we can have a threesome... any time you like... we can do that... I'd enjoy it too". But when they meet a potential woman, she has an emotional breakdown and scuppers the whole deal.

I've noticed this dynamic a lot. "We can do X, no problem", followed by going mental when the chips are down and the guy tries to follow through on it. They invent endless spurious reasons, but the end result is as intended: no threesome.

My point is, I built this. Through understanding and compassion for our fairer counterparts. In my opinion, far more success will come from mutual respect and understanding of the challenges faced between men and women.

And where is the female understanding of the male situation? Exactly nowhere. I've dated otherwise intelligent women who are completely and utterly blind to what men have to do. They think we are either utter losers or have a life that's blessed, simple, blasé and easy. They're stunned when I point out some of the difficulties men face.

What I'm saying is this: mutual respect and understanding doesn't exist. As you say... you built this. Not "me and my wife built this". YOU built it.

I do accept "understanding women" as being of benefit to men. But that doesn't mean listening to what they say, which always has a selfish agenda rather than being related to the truth.

[–]pridebrah0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Well, she SAYS that. How it would work out in practice is another matter. I know a woman who says "we can have a threesome... any time you like... we can do that... I'd enjoy it too". But when they meet a potential woman, she has an emotional breakdown and scuppers the whole deal. I've noticed this dynamic a lot. "We can do X, no problem", followed by going mental when the chips are down and the guy tries to follow through on it. They invent endless spurious reasons, but the end result is as intended: no threesome.

I've actually come across this situation recently. Why do you think this is? Is it just a case of fantasy being more enticing than reality, insecurity, or something else?

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

No, it's manipulation. A bait and switch.

At best: she wants to believe she is offering something, but really can't handle it.

At worst: it's a lie. She never says "we can't do this", she just has an emotional meltdown that prevents the situation.

It's completely dishonest to offer something that you can't follow through on. To hide this she makes up spurious reasons... "not her... too pretty... not pretty enough".

Another one is "you can see other girls". Followed by the conditions: "You can't see her again. Or have seen her before." So she ends up limiting the man's options to instant casual sex from complete strangers, a situation very unlikely to occur for most men.

I've seen and heard it enough times to know what it is: it's an elaborate construction designed to offer the facade of male freedom but with so many conditions attached as to preclude what she fears. And men fall for it and forgive it. "She really WANTS me to have sex with other women.... just not with a woman who is older than me. Or younger. Or blonde".

All you have to do is look at her actions and stop justifying her words.

[–]Nomfwic1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

All trp is is a guide to what life and reality really is. Its not a religion. Study it , implement it and enjoy life knowing you have the knowledge and skill set to better prepare youself for the shitstorm that is life.

[–]1empatheticapathetic1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

The people you're referring to are going to stick around here until they find a level of success they're happy with or give up, me included.

[–]1ozaku7[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Sometimes you just need to do it instead of thinking about it. You will be surprised at how many things you can do, to which you first thought "I can't" before you even tried.

[–]1empatheticapathetic0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Do you have an example of what you mean

[–]1ozaku7[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Anything. You could say "I can't build a house of cards" but if you actually try you will surprise how much more you can do than you believe if you actually put effort in it.

[–]1empatheticapathetic0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I wouldn't be here unless I had a specific problem I need help with. When I reach a level of success that satisfies me I'll naturally move on. Until that point. I'm going to keep intaking resources that I feel benefit me.

I used to read a lot of r fitness until I managed to get form and diet right and now I haven't read it for ages.

[–]Shakydrummer1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yeah I think I've become more cynical seeing how everything really works. It's hard not to, but something I need to work on again. Best thing is to bring it inward and enjoy how this place gave you new motivation for life, which it immensely has

[–]pridebrah0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I constantly have to put my cynicism in check. It tends to leak out easily with people if I'm not on top of it. It's been the hardest thing to change for me over the past couple of years.

[–]coin_pwr1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

With TRP, I often find myself trying to not make mistakes with women, etc. But making mistakes and being "beta" in the past was what lead me to be better. We need to go through discomfort and hardships to help us become our best when you have no choice but to. Understand TRP and use it to sharpen your edge, but don't let it consume you.

[–]pridebrah2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

We need to go through discomfort and hardships to help us become our best when you have no choice but to.

Agreed, and often I'll beat myself up for doing something that is a "TRP cardinal sin" or "beta," but you live and then you learn if you're smart. Make mistakes, analyze what went wrong, make a plan of how you will do things differently, and apply.

[–]bumbuff1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I see a lot of guy's suddenly turn in to PUA's after 'waking up'. It's hard to convince them TRP isn't inherently a guide to becoming a PUA, it's a result after a long time of hard work without resorting to scummy tactics.

[–]Solipsistic_guy2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think TRP already covers emotional regulation. Meditation, stoicism are all lifestyle choices we make.

[–]SILENTSAM690 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Once you really swallow TRP you don't need to check in constantly. It's nice to drop in and read a little, but while TRP can change your life, it isn't your life.

Go lead a successful life on your own terms. Remember what you learned here.

[–]WiiWynn0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Nearly all women I met in London were doing well for themselves. You can assert that it isn’t the norm, or you can choose to believe that women are just as capable and society allows them the ‘easy pass’ far too often, thus enabling subpar human beings. The exceptional ones build depth in themselves in spite of the easy pass. Just as men, you have your alphas and you have your betas.

I met the love of my life in London on a past trip. We had an amazing two weeks. In the end, she couldn’t do with my lifestyle and had to break it off for her own good. Though mournful, I am grateful for the experience. Better to have loved and lost...

When a women goes ballistic, you have to work thru it with her. Getting frustrated and quitting the conversation only leads to failure. Patience and persistence wins the day.

As far as ‘the truth’ goes, there is no such thing. Only perspectives. By first seeking to understand other perspectives, you allow your own to be challenged and will form a new, often better, view of things. The older I get, the less I know. That’s the paradox that is wisdom.

I’m spending time even bothering with this conversation because I use to think as you do. In the superiority of men. But a series of humbling life events, poly, and travel really opened my eyes. The hate and the cult of misogyny limited for me the fulfillment I wanted in life. You can be alpha and be respectful and understanding towards women for there is nothing more awesome than finding an equal(s) to share some time with.

[–]Ketogainsmongoose 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy

So basically, when you looked into the abyss- you blinked.

[–]WiiWynn0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Keep living. You will learn.

[–]pridebrah0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

When a women goes ballistic, you have to work thru it with her. Getting frustrated and quitting the conversation only leads to failure. Patience and persistence wins the day.

Can you elaborate on this a bit with examples? Intrigued with what you mean by this exactly.

[–]WiiWynn1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

When women (really anybody) goes ‘ballistic’, it’s because they’ve been triggered. These triggers occur because there is some underlying resentment or trauma associated, often from childhood or past relationship trauma, or maybe your own behavior.

Rather than act in a dismissive manner (she’s crazy), hold frame and try to understand how was she triggered. Often, when triggered, she will not think rationally and be defensive, verbally abusive sometimes, accusatory, etc.

Once you two find the root of the trigger, figure out how to go from there. If it’s some mommy/daddy/past bf issues, understand it and either rephrase things in the future, or help her understand you are not her dad/mom/past bf. Or it could legitimately be your issue. For example, If you think of her as less than your own worth, it will show in your behavior. This is ok if she also agrees, but likely, she doesn’t see things this way 😅.

A good tip is to apologize for ‘accidentally’ triggering her and for the misunderstanding. This is where people often miss. People easily understand if you accidentally swing your arm and hit someone’s face, you apologize profusely, and the other person usually gives a pass understanding it was an accident. The same are for emotions. You can ‘accidentally’ trigger your partner, but this is where the escalation occurs as the resentment or trauma gets her into some defensive.

Men do this too, make not mistake. This pattern of behavior is true for all humans.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I've found audio books from trp reading list to be a much better, more complete way to learn about personal development and trp principles. Trp is certainly chalked full of bitter men who only know how to direct their anger towards women and not inward and convert it into action.

Once the side bar has been read and internalized, books are a much better resource going forward than trp for the afc imo. They'll give you in depth knowledge to integrate into all areas of your life, not just smp navigation.

[–]pridebrah0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

What are some of your preferred books that you're referring to?

[–]Pogodick8in690 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Trp is easy to swallow imo. What takes time is learning game, lifting, getting laid, improving etc. that’s the time consuming part and getting over heart break but swallowing the pill isn’t time consuming. You don’t have to be happy to accept it.

[–]1ozaku7[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

The question is whether you are a sour redpiller or a happy bluepiller. It's a hard decision honestly. Maybe it's easy for you, but for many it's difficult to just calm down, accept it and make the best of life (including being happy, even with women).

[–]Pogodick8in690 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It’s not hard once you’re heart gets broken and you’re life is shit. Been there. Some people never get crushed so they can’t see the illusion but those like myself were forced to swallow the pill.

[–]BELIEVEINGODJohn8120 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

look forward to the nicer things in life

What nicer things? Running out of water due to water shortages from WW3? Or perhaps never having legitimate children because women are 100% unmarriagable. What nicer things?

Like a cool and fast car? A designer brand of clothing? What nicer things OP? The nice life that ALL men have looked forward to for centuries was marriage, children and a decent retirement.

Not all of us want to rise in the corporate ladder, lick a few boots and be rich.

Who cares for riches if you don't have anyone to spend it with?

I'm talking about FAMILY, not women in particular. But women are needed to have family.

What retirement? What pension? Unless you're a millionaire, you're fucked.

Face reality OP, life sucks. I don't care how much you swallow a red pill, it still sucks. There is no sugar coating it: The Family Unit has been completely gutted and destroyed.

We simply all are coping in different ways. It has been shot to shit by Feminists, cultural marxists, SJWs and lefties. It is GONE by friend, GONE.

Civilized society is on the way out, we are on the decline at this very moment. And you want us to be HAPPY about it?

Instead of telling people to not be bitter, look into why they are bitter exactly. You might see people are fucking fed up with life for very specific and clear reasons

Rule #1198191919191: Women are the cause for 85% of the world's problems.

[–]1ozaku7[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

That's because you focus your happiness on having a family. I come from a broken family already where all of my family members are divorced. For me it sounds actually pretty okay to get kids with a woman that will be a decent mother to my children and move on with our lives 5 or 10 years later. I can't imagine being in a marriage until death do us part with a person I will most likely hate 20 years in. I've seen so many people stay married, even though their relationship was so fucking shit. Holy marriage my ass. Eventually all of them wanted to get out of that sinking ship but noone could because it was such a taboo.

We live in better times now, where we are not stuck to people because of some made up deity. Stop believing your Disney dreams.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I don't know why anyone is mad. Even after learning TRP truth being mad isn't going to change anything. Men are men, women are women. Live your life and be happy



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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