A man must be less prone to being lonely

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September 3, 2018

A big reason why women seek men is simply because they don't like being alone, and get lonely.

This is obviously ingrained in them biologically because a million years ago they frankly couldn't survive without a man's support, and would be more inclined to getting raped. Men get lonely for a similar reason of garnering the strength of a tribe behind them, but to a lesser degree because they are a bit more self sufficient.

When you are in a relationship typically this comes into powerful view. There are many moments you just want to be left alone.

Or should I say, there SHOULD BE many moments you just want to be left alone. This creates the push/pull mechanism.

See, the push/pull mechanism works because you are tangling the bait of easing loneliness to a girl, and therefore you must let her feel lonely. If you are too forward with your affection, then she will never feel that need to ease her loneliness, and therefore take you for granted. The purpose of man is to dangle this shit on them, they obviously like it too because they enjoy the feeling of being ATTRACTED to something.

Anyway, the bottom line is all you pathetic dweebs out there "yearning" for friendship or romance are doing it all wrong. A man of resource and strength has much greater tolerance for loneliness. This is strength, because now you gain the power to ease other people's loneliness, without needing their power to ease yours.

Post Information
Title A man must be less prone to being lonely
Author FemtoG
Upvotes 783
Comments 140
Date 03 September 2018 04:01 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit TheRedPill
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/52246
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/9cmn6h/a_man_must_be_less_prone_to_being_lonely/
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the red pill

[–]Poloyatoki172 points173 points  (29 children) | Copy

I'm taking this to the extreme by starting a new job, in a new city with no friends or bitches. It's been a month so far, its stressful and sometimes shit. But you this were I'm learning who I am not in TRP only but philosophically as well.

I recommend you need to really be alone at least sometime in your life to truly understand were you need to go in life.

[–]xRedStaRx40 points41 points  (3 children) | Copy

I moved to a different fucking country with zero connections, friends or relatives. I'm also single. If that bothers you, then you're a fucking twerp (not you specifically). A man should be completely comfortable in the company of himself, and always be fine with losing everyone around him. That's why you're a man in the first place.

Join an MMA gym, build furniture in your home, research medicine topics, listen to ideological or philosophical debates, go to a bar/club and talk to people, get your shit together.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I've lived overseas 3 times and have moved a to a few different cities no problem. People think I'm strange and that I'll be lonely but that notion just confuses me for some reason. I actually enjoy culture shock and exploration. Wish I had more money and time to REALLY travel.

[–]Goldenhead170 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Holy shit this resonates with me in a powerful way. I work in Orthopaedics and just added an app called Figure 1 to my repertoire of medical knowledge, I’ve built furniture for years and recently upgraded the cabinets in the rental I jumped into quickly after a bad breakup a couple months ago (LL payed for all materials), and now am looking for a good MMA spot to join on top of my regular gym. It’s definitely been helpful to have activities to focus my energy on rather than stewing in loneliness.

[–]dramaness 1 points [recovered]  (9 children) | Copy

Dude...can pm you for advice? I'm trying to decide whether I should move to a different state.

[–]EdAnt20 points21 points  (3 children) | Copy

You should. Bob Marley said it best: "If you're not living good, travel wide."

[–]randomTATRP8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy

That's the life motto of Instagram whores too

[–]22Luika1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

That's why they are everywhere

[–]comicallysimple7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

Most realistically going to a gym and taking part in local social groups, like say a running group, would help you integrate and make you meet people while also keeping you bussy and not lonely.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Asking a random stranger on the internet for advice about relocating... lol

[–]TheYekke4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

You mean that is less painful than asking a rando about how to get a HB10 to give you a blowjob in the bar restroom? /s

[–]thepontiff_6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

I recommend you need to really be alone at least sometime in your life to truly understand were you need to go in life.

If all of Reddit could see this post

[–]xRedStaRx1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Doesn't matter if all of Reddit are living it.

[–]Seven_Veils10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

Good for you man, keep it up

[–]O---6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Good job, man. But allow me to warn you to be careful how far you take it. Once you take a dive into loneliness and get too deep, it can get difficult to go back to seeing people again.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm about to go on this same journey in December. I fucking run the city I live in now, and I'm not looking forward to leaving it. My social circle is going to shrink to basically 0.

[–]Tdemps013 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

My man it gets easier, I moved form Australia to Toronto by myself...no friends/family/anything.

First few months were hard, I got tinder and started meeting up and fuking a lot of girls on Fri/Sat night because I had no friends to do anything with, and didnt want to sit alone in my apartment feeling like a loser while everyone was out

It takes at least 6 months to build one a friendship group and now i am out with friends a few times a week, due to work and friends of friends. When I look back when I moved in November, those first 3 months were truly the loneliest of my life and I think a lot of people would have packed in the towel and moved back home.

[–]iintrOOutroo2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

In the same boat for 2 months now. I always liked being the lone wolf but I had friends a phone all away when I needed. Since moving to new country it sometimes feels lonely. Not like cry in the shower lonely but need someone to chat over the scotch lonely.

[–]Poloyatoki2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I guess it gets better. I'm heavily introverted so doesn't bother me much. I need two hours of human interaction for two weeks of isolation. I usually get alot done in that time.

I understand your scotch dilemma because as men we like to do things.

[–]epistemic_humility1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Cheers, doing the same game here, new city new job, no fam, friends or plates here. It's the third time I've done a move like this for work in the last year.

It's changed my perceptions a great deal.

[–]dmi_31 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Did the same last month. Not bad at all. From distance you see that everything you've valued so much in the old place isn't exactly what you imagined it.

[–]ddatsun0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'm heading this way too. Good luck brother!

[–]DesperateTomato0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I moved from Europe to the States, so I know exactly how you feel. Sometimes a fresh start helps you keep yourself in order and remove bad things/people/habits from your life.

[–]zyqkvx0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If I could do it again I would do the same thing, really early that is.

[–]ISwallowedRP0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Been doing that for 9 months now brother. And in another 2 months, moving to another country.

I totally get that.

[–]rosbergsessa420 1 points [recovered]  (60 children) | Copy

A man should be perfectly able to be lonely, and not need anyone else. This includes friends, partners and even family.

A lot of the material on this community focuses too much on the entire social structure where everyone wants to be on top. But I believe a solid foundation for these principles begin by knowing how to be by yourself and then starting to add people - because you WANT, not because you need them.

The moment you begin to live to be a part of something, your freedom is gone. I'd say even the stereotyped alphas that live for leading a group have this weakness.

[–]bemore_23 points24 points  (2 children) | Copy

A man should be perfectly able to be lonely in solitude. There's a difference in the lexicon.

Many people, women and men, are afraid to be by themselves, afraid to be in a quite room with no distractions. I'm introverted, I think of it as being with myself. Fact of the matter is we are always with ourselves. That person speaking in our heads is the closest to us, this is why self talk is so important. When others have doubt, when others aren't with you, you will always have yourself. Before a woman, you first lead yourself, you make yourself laugh, you motivate yourself .. you are always with yourself

In this sense the introverted man has a slight advantage in these matters, since naturally he looks to himself firstly, and needs solitude to process his own thoughts and emotions

Loneliness is the perception that you are alone, which is a lie. We are all connected, in a society, in "micro-tribes" we need each other.

For women the feeling can be different, since they are normally in groups. For a man, it's not unnatural to see a lone wolf. I thin men perceive themselves as a singular force anyways and learn to work with and for "the team"

[–]HighTesticles0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Needed to read this right now. Thank you.

[–]FemtoG[S] 74 points75 points  (7 children) | Copy

i also want to add a note that this is a theory on why popularity is beloved.

a popular person holds the power to make others not lonely.

[–]rosbergsessa420 1 points [recovered]  (6 children) | Copy

Yes, but that power becomes a weakness when this person's entire life is built around being popular within a social structure. What's the point on being so cool if you can't survive by yourself.

[–]latinasonly5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

be cool and survive by ourself.

i get what your saying tho, how many frat boys and whatnot don't have much of an identity outside their group

[–]RedPilledRoaster 1 points [recovered]  (4 children) | Copy

You’re not going to be by yourself.

[–]duckduckgoit6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

Even your shadow leaves you in the dark

[–]Atheist_Utopia58 points59 points  (1 child) | Copy

Basically abundance mentality, but now applied not just on girls, but in every aspect of your life.

[–]menial_optimist9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy

We should be, but I'm not even close. If I go long periods of being alone I get used to it and im okay, but as soon as I break up with a LTR im destroyed and cannot bear to be alone.

[–]drunkpangolin12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

A man should be perfectly able to be lonely at ease just with himself. FTFY.

If you are lonely you are yearning. If you can stand it you are withstanding something you miss.

The whole idea is to not need others, but be content when you are with worthwhile others, and worthwhile is crucial, as this will allow you to discard those who don't bring worthwhile things to your life.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'd say even the stereotyped alphas that live for leading a group have this weakness.

That's why it's nice to mix up the Alpha/Beta dichotomy (primarily zoological, but with lots of specific tactics and strategies) with a little bit of Nietzsche's Master/Slave moral dichotomy (more abstract, more specifically human, but with fewer specific tactics to achieve specific goals).

Basically, slave morality wants to flatten everything (crabs in a bucket), while master morality pursues its goals and its strengths effectively. Being this "master" doesn't mean ruling over the "slaves." It's just about mastering yourself. It's not about social status or sexual strategy. It's about whatever you decide, and how far you're willing to go to achieve that, and how consistent you are in your strategy.

[–]Endorsed ContributorKeffirLime10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy

starting to add people - because you WANT, not because you need them.

This is the message of the community. TRP is simply a toolbox, it doesn't tell you what to do with it. That's for you to decide.

The moment you begin to live to be a part of something, your freedom is gone

Depends, is it YOUR something, or is it someone else's something that you are a pawn in. That differentiation needs to be made.

I'd say even the stereotyped alphas that live for leading a group have this weakness.

Only if he finds himself in a position he does not desire to be.

The good part is that we are able to bypass these tribal behaviours by learning to survive without a supporting social structure.

We desire to pair bond due to our biological drive to pro create. To truly be fine alone we would need to transcend this to some degree or another, which is highly unlikely.

[–]GanksGriefersForFun2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Spending alone time from society helps you heal in many ways. Constantly being around toxic co workers and people who push their views on you, rubbing off the idea that a male is a human doing rather than a human being are the ones hurting you.

The point is that you can in fact be alone and okay for a certain amoubt of time.

[–]Jailhouseredpilled934 points5 points  (10 children) | Copy

This is why Caucasians have a tendency for individualism and less towards tribalism. Being self sufficient in the ice age was a very selective trait.

[–]Skinnypenis1214 1 points [recovered]  (9 children) | Copy

Don’t be the douche that brings race into this..

[–]Jailhouseredpilled938 points9 points  (8 children) | Copy

Too red pill for ya? Men and women are not the same. The races are NOT the same. Race matters.

[–]Skinnypenis1214 1 points [recovered]  (7 children) | Copy

What you said isn’t “too red pilled” for anyone. It’s your ignorant speculation that has no factual backup at all. Provide some actual proof for the shit you’re spewing and I will happily apologize and change my mind.

[–]Jailhouseredpilled935 points6 points  (6 children) | Copy

Common sense really bruh. Go to YouTube, American Renaissance, and watch Douglas Whitmans seminar from 2014: The Evolution and Biological Reality of Race; and choke on it! But don't spit it out.

[–]Skinnypenis1214 1 points [recovered]  (5 children) | Copy

Since everyone’s down voting me answer me this, do I have less of a use for the information I get here because I’m not white? I’m not the kind of person to stress race or make it a big thing, but I’m seriously curious. Would there be a better sub for me to get the same info that fits my ethnicity better? I’m a 22 year old black kid btw but I grew up in a predominantly white suburb.

[–]anonacnt 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy

A 22 year old guy is not really a kid anymore.

[–]Skinnypenis1214 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

Good point, but doesn’t answer my question

[–]anonacnt 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

Sorry man I didn't read the first part of your comment. Was just skimming through this comments section and read "22 year old black kid" and I was like wtf. But then I understand you because I too still felt like a kid until like 23-24. Nothing wrong with feeling a few years younger than your real age.

To answer your question: This sub is predominantly white conservatives so white supremacy of any kind, whether factually supported or not, is generally tolerated and is more supported than resisted.

The other guy's claim that whites' tendency to individualism is a result of their ancestors' survival through the ice ages is unfounded, as white people from older generations were more collectivistic/tribalistic than individualistic. In fact, individualism in white cultures is a fairly recent phenomenon.

[–]cyber_zia3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Not needing others is a primitive learning that many forget as a core to what evolution is about. If we constantly look to others, we are not creating the conditions for self-teach. This is also a mechanism for us 'prior-obedience-seekers' to gain a success before we even have a failure. Success = having someone approve what you say as true versus going to do! Act then apologize.

[–]AshyLarry273 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

This strikes as too much "TRP RAH RAH RAH ALPHA." Recent studies even show loneliness to be linked to one of the leading causes to an early death, beyond even such commonly assumed culprits as obesity. Being social and outgoing are more RP, and just in general mentally healthy. I do agree this needs to come from a place of strength (ie developing a habit of being interested in people, talking and just BS'ing), than weakness (i.e "oh no I have no friends or GF, I need to talk to people, I am so lonely"). Monk mode concepts are an important part of TRP, but should not be done for over extended periods of time.

[–]MilkMoney1114 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm familiar with those studies but those are for people who "feel" lonely. You can be alone and not feel lonely.

It's the same thing with stress. There are studies done on people who see stress with a negative vs a positive outlook and it correlates to better health for the ones who frame stress positively.

[–]GanksGriefersForFun3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Let me shorten my overall point. More time spent with toxic people will in fact make you feel lonely. I don't think you get how loneliness works. The more you're exposed to society's toxic view of men, the more you're going to feel devalued. Find positive, like-minded people and really get out there, but more by yourself. You won't feel alone one bit.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (8 children) | Copy

I couldn’t disagree more. Humans are meant to be social.

[–]GuruDev100018 points19 points  (7 children) | Copy

He's not saying don't be social.

As a human, what do you bring to the table? The best resource is your energy and aura that can only be collected through self realization. There's a reason why we need sleep during which we shut out the external world.

[–]Iwannachokekatie5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

There's a reason why we need sleep during which we shut out the external world.

To have dreams where most of the time we are being social?

[–]khabutu1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Since you mentioned self-realization, are you on the path of Krsna Consciousness? Your are so correct when you say the best resource is your energy, that energy in total is who you are (spirit-soul). And the path of self-realization should be followed by all men and women, spiritual power is true strength and connection with God is true joy.

[–]GuruDev10002 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I am not on the path to Krishna consciousness. I am a Christian by birth who finds Ramana Maharshi's teachings powerful.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy

As a human, what do you bring to the table? The best resource is your energy and aura that can only be collected through self realization.

WTF does this mean? We have no "energy" or "aura." I'd call it pseudoscience but that's an insult to pseudoscience.

Edit: Hahaha his name is "Guru." That explains it I guess. Fucking ass clown.

[–]Narcius3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

We have no "energy" or "aura."

That's where you both are misinterpreting. What others perceive as the aura or energy is simply the body posture and the way one handles oneself. You can see it in people. The eyes are bright because the person is well slept and hydrated. The posture is proper and the person's skin is healthy so it seems to have vigour. And the way they speak is a deep clear confident voice.

These are all subliminal aspects our brains pick up when judging individuals. People call it the aura or energy for the lack of a better word.

So, a healthy person is automatically perceived to have a better aura. And healthy in terms of TRP is a person who has confidence, lifts and has a frame.

[–]GuruDev10002 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

LoL. I suppose you haven't experienced reality where one day you're feeling comfy with yourself and people are just drawn to you, regardless of what you do. And another day, regardless of what you do, you realise nothing is working out.

No wonder there's 'bitter' in your name.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lol. None of the things you type make sense. It's like a monkey throwing darts at a board with random words on it.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The moment you begin to live to be a part of something, your freedom is gone.

This is exactly the opposite of what we know to be true. Humans are happiest when they are contributing and working towards a goal that they feel is bigger than themselves. 227 upvotes. Dear God, wtf is going on with TRP?

[–]RedPill1150 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The moment you begin to live to be a part of something, your freedom is gone. I'd say even the stereotyped alphas that live for leading a group have this weakness.

Do you have a job? Then you're part of something.

The ultimate theoretical level is to be able to jump right into being part of the group, but also be able to be successful without it.

If you can't be part of any group your ability to survive in a society is gone. There's a huge difference between "I don't need the group, but I'm part of the group" vs "I can't get into the group".

[–]booochi0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The greatest men, lead people. They didn't make statues of Cesar and his homies.

[–]mega_kook0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Well said. This comment and OP's idea in general relate back to just not being needy.

Demonstrating less neediness than your partner, and especially less than other men, is one of the easiest ways to boost your attractiveness in almost any social situation.

Frame first. Build confidence. Stand out from the crowd. Don't give a shit what anyone else does or thinks.

[–]the99percent10 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Being able to live on your own is one thing. But i think the true test is to completely severe all connections and move to another country far away from any support you were accustomed to and not only rebuild your life, but thrive.

Then once you are established, do it all over again by moving to another country.

Do this two moves and then only you can claim you are adaptable and capable to survive in any given situation.

[–]NormalAndy0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'd say even the stereotyped alphas that live for leading a group have this weakness.

These are the modern nazi button pushers. People really aspire to becoming like them within the corporate sphere.

[–]backtothebeginning11 1 points [recovered]  (6 children) | Copy

Jack Donovan would disagree with you, tribalism is essential for a man. “Overcoming” tribal behaviours (your instinct to be part of a male tribe) is not a good thing.

[–]monadyne11 points12 points  (2 children) | Copy

(your instinct to be part of a male tribe)

Bypassing your instinct to become subsumed into a tribe is, in fact, a good thing. Allowing yourself to become positioned within the tribe's various dominance hierarchies is contrary to your own best interests. The tribe -by its very definition of what it is- does not (indeed, cannot) care about individuals. It needs to shoehorn people into roles, and doesn't give a shit if you feel you're unsuited for the roles to which you have been assigned.

That's why a man needs to break free of tribalistic roles and determine his own course through life, setting his own goals and rules. This doesn't always mean he becomes an Alpha who leads others. Some men may choose a path of scholarship, i.e., pursuit of knowledge for its own sake. Others may choose a path of becoming a healer, or a contemplative artist, etc.

Tribalism isn't essential for a man. Self-actualized freedom is.

[–]Incel98761 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Tribalism isn't essential for a man. Self-actualized freedom is.

Tribalism is more essential than self-actualized freedom. Your scholar, healer, and contemplative artist are just tribalistic roles in a more advanced tribe.

[–]rosbergsessa420 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

If you are going to do things because someone else says it's good or bad then you shouldn't be browsing this community.

[–]Johnnyvile37 points38 points  (0 children) | Copy

Women in general are talkative and want to express themselves and their feelings, this is why they always have a lot of close friends they do it with, men are not like this and enjoy alone time. Men also have people depending on them a lot more and enjoy alone time. Men focus on themselves more and enjoy alone time to work on their own things.

It’s pretty simple.

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (1 child) | Copy

I wonder how often social anxiety is really just the internalization of weird social pressure to be more social and agreeable.

[–]untonyto0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Gave me an insight into that time when I decided to not care what anyone thought and stick it to basically everybody. It was liberating. But society's bourgeoisie ways like oneitis creep back on one unawares so now I pine for that freedom like a post-wall alpha widow for Chad.

[–]CalvinRichland54 points55 points  (16 children) | Copy

Good points, especially important for an LTR. Cant create feels with your fat ass right next to her on the couch every moment.

The idea that a man doesn't need friends and family generally though is just idiotic and short sighted to me. It's good to be comfortable alone and i spend a lot of time alone for work and hobbies, but comfortable alone and eternally alone are not the same.

[–]rosbergsessa420 1 points [recovered]  (15 children) | Copy

Why not? Because society says it's bad to be alone?
Not saying that you should be comfortable with being alone (or not) - but that you should carry on with your mission whatever it is, even if ending up alone is a part of the price. The idea that being lonely is "bad" is simply a limitation.

[–]CalvinRichland41 points42 points  (12 children) | Copy

Because it's outside of human nature and you aren't stronger or better alone.

If you can't spend a week away from your girlfriend or by yourself without being lonely you have a problem.

If you have 0 friends and family you are the problem.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Why not? Because society says it's bad to be alone?

Um no, because our biology says it's bad to be alone.

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy

Being alone doesn't equal feeling loney.

Solitude is a hard won ally, faithful and patient.

[–]curiouschipmunk101027 points28 points  (0 children) | Copy

Solitude should be filled with meaningful purpose. If you must isolate and insulate yourself during time of growth (i.e. commitment to work, sport, goals etc), be actively productive in filling it with more pressing responsibilities. If not, it is prone to depression (i.e. isolation from getting fired).

[–]BreastWood_One16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy

You've never been truly alone then. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.

[–]TheBadGoy6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Anyway, the bottom line is all you pathetic dweebs out there "yearning" for friendship or romance are doing it all wrong

You are a bit wrong on this one, if Elliot Rodger came to my door I would tell him to cultivate friendships and romance, and then learn to handle heartbreak and loneliness. You can't tell a lonely guy to embrace loneliness, he'll go crazy.

[–]macalpinerules6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

This is the sort of thinking that leads to despair and suicide. Loneliness is gender neutral and stems from the fact that humans (male and female) are social animals and when those social needs aren't met they are actualized as negative emotions which we call loneliness. Unfortunately, men are more likely to deny or ignore loneliness and therefore put themselves needlessly on the path to despair and (worst case scenario) suicide.

I recommend a book called "Social" by Matthew Lieberman to better understand the social needs of humans.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Unfortunately the few voices of reason in this thread are buried at the bottom. TRP is becoming truly moronic. Not sure when glorifying loneliness became one of our pillars.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is obviously ingrained in them biologically because a million years ago they frankly couldn't survive without a man's support, and would be more inclined to getting raped.

Havent humans always been tribal? One element of this is definitely about surivival. In a group, resources are pooled and spoils are shared. A man trying to survive alone in the distant past would have had to hide away from tribes and other large groups, as one man could not take on such a large group and hope to win. So there was a large amount of protection to be found in a tribe for everyone, not just women. Being banished from your tribe was akin to a death sentence.

What we currently have is a modern era where the laws and technology enable us to be more solitary and there is an erosion of community in most places. And I am not sure that anyone's mental heath is doing well for it.

Solitary confinement, as an extreme example, is said to be a torture method that can send someone completely insane.

I think what you go on to say is true, but it's not so much about being lonely. One of your best resources is your time and attention, and you should treat it with respect and care. What you shouldnt do is whore out your time to women freely, as they wont respect you.

[–]RoccoTech004 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

While it is true that humans are tribal/social creatures, men are generally more independent and resourceful. Men need to have their own space. Other than for reproductive purposes and some social interaction (affection and such), women are generally more of a drag for men. Take sex and reproduction out of the picture. Would you go through hell and back for the affection or attention of a woman? Of course there are always exceptions to the rule. Also, there are many "men" who are the product of an emasculated world, mostly as a result of single mothers and/or fathers with weak character, that are basically princesses.

As for the "lone wolf" approach to life. I think that changes with each person. One should be able to be happy by himself and add people to your life based on a value-add to each party, that includes family and friends (as stated by a previous comment). Yes, humans are meant to be social/tribal creatures, but the point of a tribe is to live in harmony, respect, and benefit for all. None of those things are there for men now. This is not only true for romantic relationships, but it includes family and friends as well. This I why MGTOW and TRP are gaining followers each and every day.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don't forget everyone dies alone. In the end, all you have is yourself.

[–]MoneyMakin8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

I don’t think you made one half-good point in this shit post. Is any of this based on science or is it just your personal opinion that men shouldn’t feel lonely? I think it’s a matter of social preferences. I need time alone. Some of my buddies need to be around people all the time. It’s a lot more to do with being introverted and extroverted. Calling someone who prefers to be in the presence of other people a pathetic dweeb makes you sound like a lunatic.

[–]Ezaar5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy


When I was following this a little to strictly, I did end up turning off many human considerations associated with well being. But there’s a lot to unwrap that can be useful here.

[–]1Noblefiz7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ok so what is this post about exactly?

Are you talking about the push-pull mechanism? Or is it about the idea that men should naturally be able to tolerate loneliness to a greater extent than women? Because you talk about both but mix them into this half baked theory about how loneliness ties into push-pull, and, while I can see where you were trying to go with it, doesn’t really scratch the surface of anything, in my opinion.

This post was very short, shallow and egotistical in that you call the readers “pathetic dweebs” which leads me to believe you wrote this entire post in a vain attempt to boost your own lacking level of self confidence.

Maybe I’m wrong.

[–]new_alpha7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Okay this is all easy to explain rationally and such but there are to real and practical things you should look into if you are constantly feeling lonely and in need of other people’s presence:

1 - you are in fact spending too much time by yourself and your social area is lacking. I’m not talking about hanging out to bars and such, I’m talking about day to day interactions which are important for every human being. Get out of your room and go do something useful that requires connecting to other people. If you don’t have a job you should definitely look into this area of your life because it needs fixing.

2 - you have depression or general anxiety disorder. If the first point I made is ‘generally’ taken care of and you still feel like shit when you’re lonely then you should seek help from a psychiatrist. It is definitely not uncommon to have one of these two when you live in a fucked up society like ours and also develop some fucked up mechanisms to cope with it. Go fix it.

[–]redefinedreality2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

This whole thing was just a bunch of circular arguments

[–]Iwannachokekatie5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Anyway, the bottom line is all you pathetic dweebs out there "yearning" for friendship or romance are doing it all wrong. A man of resource and strength has much greater tolerance for loneliness. This is strength, because now you gain the power to ease other people's loneliness, without needing their power to ease yours.

No. Those dweebs "yearn" for friendship and romance, because they have no power to ease other peoples loneliness, because they lack in friendship and in romance.

[–]AssDefect206 points7 points  (4 children) | Copy

I have to disagree, simply because your view is not scientific. Humans have evolved to be social, and we get negative quite quickly without intimate social contact.

Notice i said intimate, that usually means with a family member, friend or a girl that you like as a person. A lot of people are surrounded by others, but their interactions are not intimate, but rather curteous and platonic. Therefore they can become lonely.

In order for me to want to be alone, I first need to fulfill my need for intimacy (I dont really have to, nothing is going to happen if I dont socialize for a week or two,but any longer and it slowly starts affecting me negatively). But if I have no friends or any support structure, my loneliness will get to me, no matter how much work I need to get done.

Women usually need more social contact because they benefit more from sticking to the tribe, ie the selected women were the ones who had more need to socialize ie the ones who stuck to the tribe. Men needed to go on hunting trips and were kicked out of the tribe, and also needy betas who stayed in the tribe werent really selected for. But still, if alphas go hunt and tiger kills them, beta stays alive and gets all women. :D That is my theory, feel free to discuss.

IMO What a man should do is follow Maslow pyramid. In this context that means creating a small, time efficient if possible, but trustworthy circle of friends and/or family who he can count on for social and other support.

That does not mean going with "bros" on beer every night and bitching and moaning how your life is hard. Simply means having someone to turn to when times get rough, who can hold you accountable, who you can share a secret or a laugh with etc.

[–]JamesTheKid6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

Spot on, what OP is talking about is going against everything literature says about evolutionary psychology and is just simply not how we are developed. This post has zero literature or science to back it up and leads me to believe that this is based in some problematic social factors OP is facing. Spending time alone and learning to be comfortable with yourself alone is incredibly important and working to build an intimate and effective social structure is a job done from the inside out no doubt. However nobody is developed to be a “lone wolf”, even wolves travel in packs and the lone ones are usually excluded when trying to enter a new pack which is entirely counterproductive if we are trying to perform within a social dominance hierarchy. Being comfortable with yourself, improving what you can and using your a lone time productively and noticing when you’re isolating self destructively is important and more importantly a healthy psyche and a strong psyche comes from developing outside (and yes “intimate” and therefore “meaningful”) relationships, not from being a “lone wolf”. No apex predator gets to where they are working alone, so if we are all discussing things headed to be the best we can be, OP’s mindset is counterintuitive, dishonest, ignorant, and perhaps toxic to a reader without this knowledge. Lets help each other out, and not post things without having read them from reliable sources first.

[–]AssDefect201 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Of course, you explained it well, we understand each other, all that is great.

But the sad fact is: the destructive and condescending shitpost got more than 300 upvotes, and it will influence the worldview of, say, 20 percent of those people, while our two posts were only seen by us, and we didnt really influence even each other, we knew the same facts about evolution and psychology that our worldviews are based upon.

It is hard to escape the attention economy, even on a trp subreddit, which imo should always be a place of discussion and growth.

[–]JamesTheKid1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Very true, and to me that’s the thing that’s often funny about it is they (or at least the people ITT) think that this is the ideal topic for discussion and growth when they’re really misinterpreting this unpopular cynicism as the discomfort of hearing the truth (which isn’t always that uncomfortable if thought about plainly imo). Just gives you more understanding about what makes people work and I try and take these opportunities not to blame or be sad about the ignorance but to just laugh about the fragility of us all. It’s so often just a reflection of my own often plastic and sometimes naive psyche, just good to hear i’m not the only one who knows something about the science (although I must humbly admit they’re fairly basic principles of any of the things i’ve read) and also certainly good to know i’m not the only one to believe wrong information sometimes and take it as the truth. Thanks for getting it, tried to expand on your ideas best as I could with information that i’ve been putting a lot of effort into understanding and it feels good to hear I explained it well.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes this is true. OP's post is idiotic. Humans are hyper-social and hyper-tribal. Loneliness in middle aged and older folks is becoming a huge public health issue in America. People can literally go insane or become suicidal without meaningful and valuable social interactions.

[–]GuruDev1000 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

As a human, what do you bring to the table? The best resource is your energy and aura that can only be collected through self realization. There's a reason why we need sleep during which we shut out the external world.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Dude stop peddling pseudo-scientific nonsense.

[–]dusara2171 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Taking a step away from the perspective of sexual interaction, this is also a tenet of Stoic philosophy. When you are alone, you are in solitude, and there is no better place to improve yourself than in solitude. However, too much solitude, and you become just as weak as if you had too little. Thus you must strike a proper balance and learn to use solitude to your advantage while still being a generally social creature.

[–]DaftOdyssey1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

That is why I believe boys after graduating high school should move to another city for college. If effort is put, it will cure any dependencies that you had on your family, friends, girls, and start becoming a self efficient man.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I don’t know if the pain of “loneliness” I suffer is due to being alone - or the frustration of not have social opportunities available to me when I desire them.

[–]NormalAndy1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well... this.

The whole blue pill, girls on top, bullshit social system relies on men being taught to think of themselves as no good by themselves and needing to be with others to be of any worth, as the collective is where the value is-

Thus we are taught to not make a move and stay within the bounds of the open/ social prison and live our lives wondering why we are unfulfilled. I can only applaud the system that is used to control the masses. I would like think that I could have created something similar if I ruled the world but of course I don't and I probably couldn't have (not yet anyway ;-) )

That is the most interesting and not to mention liberating part of the red pill. Realising that you are a man of worth, relising that you have been conned into submission and finally seeing the long road ahead that you must walk to reclaim your birthright.

Bitches are totally irrelevant. Compared to the bigger picture, I hardly even notice them unless I need to dump a load off- and even then I'm more interested in seeing how long I can delay- WAY more interesting!

[–]chaseemall1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think it's worth noting that the desire for a boy to desire the comfort of a woman really is about him and his mother. A man's desire for a woman is a matter of him as a caretaker and a user. However, this need is a vastly different need. A boy needs the comforting company of his mother because she is his caretaker. A man needs the cooperative company of his fellow men, because he is a man within an honor group. He needs a woman to be the mother of his children, but he doeesn't go to her to get his need for companionship, because that's the job of the men in his life.

Many men who try to get women to ease loneliness are immature. They are longing for a boy-like love for an adult woman, and conflating it with the cooperative companionship reserved for fellow men. The way to fix this is to get male friends, find a male honor group. It doesn't have to be (probably shouldn't be TBH) TRP specific, but these men need to hold you accountable. This will help you seperate what a boyish love is from what a manly love is.

[–]OfficerWade1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I was recently listening on the Joe Rogan podcast with Jordan Peterson’s daughter and they mentioned, antisocial behavior is just as bad for you as smoking.

The opposite of crazy is still crazy.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I inadvertently mastered solitude over the last few years. The amount of power it gives you is incredible

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

How the FUCK does this have 400+ upvotes? I know it's cliche to say TRP is going to shit - but the upvotes don't lie. TRP is going to shit. This post reads like a lonely and depressed teenager trying to justify his miserable existence. It's so stupid that I'm actually not sure if someone is trolling us.

Humans are hyper-social creatures. We all evolved to live in close knit kin groups. Loneliness can literally make you go insane or become suicidal. Every single sentence you wrote is the opposite of the truth.

Anyway, the bottom line is all you pathetic dweebs out there "yearning" for friendship or romance are doing it all wrong.

The only pathetic dweeb I see here is you. Also, your writing sucks ass.

[–]FemtoG[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Fair point on TRP going to shit.

Everything you said is correct to some degree. I am not saying it is okay to be lonely. I am not saying being lonely is a mode to be.

I am saying that the attraction dynamics with females is in equilibrium when the male cares less than the female. That is the natural mode of being. The female feels more comfortable when the female is the one in more threat of being lonely. The male feels more comfortable when he is the one dismissing her advances say, every 1 out of 5 times. That is the natural biological equilibrium. That is where she will be happy. That is where you will be happy. The "pathetic dweebs" which I understand I am being caustic, is these people who were thrown so off balance by society and their lives that they try to barrel through social dynamics while maintaining this unbalance. I am saying that many guys OVERLOOK the importance of this imbalance. They rely on artificial push pull mechanism, or artificial behaviors, without respecting the idea of core biological social equilibrium.

Also I would've never understood this until I truly experienced a deep and longlasting relationship. Until I experienced it, I also found myself acting on these artificial actions that only worked temporarily. To give a truly extreme example, I don't blame a single man for cheating on their girl/wife, in fact I think it is natural to do so. Perhaps it is this resistance to this natural urge that provides the artificial "order" that is required to defeat God's propensity for chaos.

[–]uwey2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

If you have hard time for being alone.......get used to it.

You come to this world alone and naked, yo should die and parting the world same way.

No imaginary god, friends, family. You are on your own, in charge of your own decision and consequences.

That would make a lot sense if you see how world is delusional place from its very beginning.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

Actually you don't come into the world alone. You come into the world surrounded by family and into the arms of the only person who will always unconditionally love you - your mother. Such a dogshit quote. I can't stand it.

[–]uwey0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Oh man, it hurts.

Actually, your relatives will often fuck you in the worst way possible. Don’t you already know politicians and rich use their kids as chip to gain/maintain power? Brother killing each other for property, mom will sacrifice son in favor for her lover, your naive is shocking, but a understandable one.

Nothing last forever. That is why hope only come from internal conviction and devotion to self awareness. Environment and reality will bring you false hope and is demon to all your false assumption, assume is worst you can do. Seek proof and solid evidence.

Ultimately the journey is to embrace the challenge, for ever compete and beat upon the ego, and to win.

If you seek comfort and security you will gain neither.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Dude, maybe your dysfunctional family, but in general this is not true.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

So pick up extra shifts when you are bored instead of scrolling Instagram got it

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

On the flip side, we men are conditioned to provide for other people. We are hardwired to be selfless. Acknowledging and recognising this is an important part of going your own way. Then you can begin to overcome loneliness.

[–]Doxatek0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

"If you are lonely when you're alone, you're in bad company." - Sartre

[–]punchyson0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I don’t disagree but the wording is going to give people the wrong idea.

You are spending time alone because you are in the weight room at 04:00, fishing, hunting, writing a book, fixing your truck, looking for a better job, or dealing with personal things.

In other words you are busy living life and handling your business.

Women can tell the difference between a guy who is busy and productive and a guy who is following some PUA advice. Believe that

[–]docious0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is some seriously sad stuff

[–]59Aisires590 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Let me warn you. If you get to lonely you start losing touch with other humans in general.

I completely isolated myself for years i did only Talk to my parents sometimes and in the Office with my supervisor.

Since I discovered TRP i try to get used going outside and talk to people and managed to get 2 friends due to working out in the gym. They are my Lifting Buddys now.

But in public i feel like a colorful cow, i feel like everyone is staring at me or straight up laughting. It’s dreadful for me to be around more than a few people. I get nervous and stutter or Talk bullshit.

I was a very popular guy in highschool from the age of ten up to sixteen. At the age of sixteen i got a Computer with dsl. This was the end of my perfect social life.

Now i am 24 in january this year i started to turn my life around and let me tell you i regred isolating myself in my room with my computer. It’s very tough to get back to normal. People i knew from elementary School say i am weird now and well i feel like a weirdo.

Short or Moderate Isolation is good to get back on Track but if you isolate yourself for to long you lose yourself and all direction for your life.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Anyway, the bottom line is all you pathetic dweebs

Says the guy who posts on TRP, like the rest of us. Keep being superior, brah. We love ya.

[–]conflagratorX0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Man must be less prone to be lonely, psychically and physically stronger, earn more and has higher status and looks than women. Otherwise he is entering incel wastelands.

[–]jpmgratitude0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Watch videos of monks and how they live.

[–]Emmanuel_Elias0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Wanting to be alone is also an attractive trait because it adds mystery. A lot of guys these days have it all wrong in their game, they think that hanging out on hoards of guys will actually get you a decent girl but no, it'll most likely just bring a bunch of attention whores. A side from the general truths of red pill and women, women still tend to be conscious around their unreasonable behavior. To this really, they gain respect on you for having a courage to stand alone. It all comes down to being the rock.

[–]moltenw0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Even with my shitty gaming addiction from 8-17 and the problems it has caused me to this day, there was one thing that I learnt - Solitude.

Even with all the shit that comes along with the gaming package, learning Solitude might possibly just been worth it. I can be alone for an immense amount of time without the need of other people's company.

Now...all I need to do is reverse the cancerous parts of it...

[–]halfback9100 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Imo loneliness is a survival instinct. Humans are social creatures and loneliness is part of what compels us into clustering to form markets. I don't think loneliness is sexual because children get lonely, people who were chemically castrated or lost their testicles to cancer early in life still get lonely.

Human markets are like ant hives. Ants suffer a chemical withdrawal if they're away from the hive for too long. Loneliness is what happens if we are away from other humans (and consequently markets) for too long. Loneliness is just the word we ascribed to our version of what happens to ants and any other social creatures when they leave the fold.

In that sense I think telling men to be less lonely is like telling them to not want to fuck women or to not get so hung up on being useful. It's in their nature.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

How great a man you feel when you stop being bored when alone, stop craving people company and start to enjoy to be by yourself.

[–]pnzndltn0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It's good and fine to be able to enjoy your own company but the bottom line, is that humans are social creatures and extended periods of isolation are bad for you, there's no way around it. Physical and mental side effects from too much loneliness are real. I like the message of being able to be by yourself without spiraling out of control, but the reality is that to be a happy mammal, you need to mix the right amount of socializing into your day to thrive, even if it's only a few minutes of chit chat with various strangers throughout your day.

So yes, be comfortable spending time with yourself, but realize that loneliness is not an ideal to be achieved and that you should work on incorporating social time into your day in a way that keeps you warm as a person.

[–]Anonymous-O0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This explains the dance in marriage well. Smother her and she won't value your affection since you give it out so cheaply. Let her work for it. Of course, do not take it too far else she just might look elsewhere for said affection.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is an absolute gold mine...who knew this many morons could develop a thread and find each other. Quit bitching and go build a bench.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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