Male N-count Affects?

rustycheeks03 · 2020-05-22T15:34:11+00:00

Purely annecdotal: I think male n counts that are super high, say 50+, without any long term relationship experience are a huge red flag. The guys I know like that have so much trouble maintaining relationships longer than 6 months. If they couldn’t make it work with one of the 50 girls he found attractive enough to sleep with, it usually means that he either isn’t commitment-minded, unable to remain faithful, has self-esteem issues and uses sex for validation, or has some sort of personality issue that makes him unbearable after a while. Some men in their early twenties are probably okay, but at a certain age, only seeking short term relationships without any lasting ones is a horrible relationship track reccord and those guys should be avoided.

jumblesandtumbles · 2020-05-22T18:21:28+00:00

I've read some articles regarding male and female n-count, and seen some things on here (usually not about guys, tho). But I'll go with some anecdotes.

I'm friends with a handful of men with what some might consider high ish but still not outlandishly so n-counts - like numbers between 20-30 (men in their 30s who have never married) and guys on the less high end. They both seem to mostly run into the same issues in dating and relationships, are all capable of attracting women, and there doesn't seem to be a huge difference (in terms of dating and relationships) between those higher n-count guys and lower ones, as long as the lower count guys are lower n count by choice.

Then there are the n-count guys I know with a body count in the hundreds. Personally, I don't tend to judge a person's sexual past and I don't see a person with a high count as used goods or whatever else people post about on here. But I also won't discount my own experiences in relationships or attempting a relationship with a couple of guys who had been with hundreds of women (yes, testing was a thing).

In both cases, we were casual friends first. I had seen both of these guys take women home on a regular basis throughout the years, and they knew that casual sex wasn't my thing. Neither of them tried to get casual sex out of me, other than initially when we first met and both were good natured about me telling them it wasn't my thing. I was with one for a year before breaking it off. I dated the other for a few months before breaking it off. It wasn't the body count that put me off, although one bringing up his body count during an intimate moment, even if it was phrased in terms of a compliment, was a mood killer ("I've been with hundreds of women and none have made me do that." I don't judge but come on. Nobody wants that image at that time.).

What they both had in common was that they had both been through a heart break when they were very young (18-20) and had a hard time forming a true connection with women. They were both fun, charming, and socially adept on the surface. But they both harbored a deep fear of getting close to a woman. They both flip flopped between a narrative that I was different but all women were the same. And that was the biggest issue. When they put down that narrative and connected with me as a person, we had fun, had deep discussions, and truly enjoyed each other's company. But it was usually shortly after those enjoyable times that they would suddenly become condescending or distant and default to the "I have experience, I know what women are really like/want." It was the cycle of getting close based on the person I was and then getting pushed away based on what I was (a woman) that eventually brought me to end it in both cases. I felt for their struggle and fear but it was incredibly frustrating and, yeah, hurtful, to deal with that much instability.

I know some people are going to say I'm callous for leaving but I truly did not see the relationship being healthy until they worked through those issues.

I'm not saying all high n-count guys are like that, but I will say that the men and women that I know with super high body counts do seem to have trouble connecting with the opposite sex on an individual level, if that makes sense.

ASlingshot123 · 2020-05-22T13:32:49+00:00

Because of different biological imperatives, men are affected less by high n counts:

For women who had one extra sexual partner (for most, before marriage) only 64 percent were still married—a drop of 33 percent, which is twice the rate of men. For those women who had two sexual partners outside of marriage, only 55 percent were still married five years down the road.

Clearly, the more sexual partners an individual has, the less he/ she is capable to sustain marriage. This is especially true for women, who experience a steeper and more significant reduction in marital security with each additional non-marital or extra-marital partner.

Source: http://marripedia.org/effects.of.divorce.on.children.s.sexual.activity

Sliw · 2020-05-22T12:47:20+00:00

In another PPD discussion about male N-count there one of the top voted comment stated that if a guy has a high N-count it men's that he spent a lot of time and energies in getting that number high, a lot more than it would take a woman to achieve the same number, therefore it was a disqualifier.

I asked for clarification and the same commenters stated that N-count is different for men and women, the same number could be OK for a woman but bad for a man. The logic still escapes me.

diffdedbed · 2020-05-22T13:54:37+00:00

There are so many possible reasons for having a high partner count that I think anyone worrying about this needs to lay off statistics and evaluate on a 1-1 level.

High partner counts can mean anything from mental instability to intellectual logic (its just sex). Very high sex drives in women can easily lead to huge partner counts. There is nothing wrong with them, its not about pair bonding, they are just insanely horny. Others might have some sort of avoidance disorder.

Men have the same issues. One guy might be trying to prove to himself how manly he is, another might have anger issues and can't keep a girlfriend. One guy I know is a alcoholic so he gets a girlfriend, she eventually can't take the drinking, rinse and repeat.

Another thing to look at is does a high partner count cause a lack of pair bonding ability, or is it lack of a desire to pair bond cause high partner counts? I think its really both, and not the same in all people.

Its not the sex that is the problem for some, its how they view and handle relationships.

DangZagnut · 2020-05-22T15:01:45+00:00

These studies are Bullshit and don’t measure what they claim to measure.

thedeadpill · 2020-05-22T23:16:38+00:00

I'm not an especially prolific one-night-stand guy, but, the more women I fuck the less time I want to spend time with them outside of fucking.

TheKarmicWoosh2 · 2020-05-22T12:48:20+00:00

https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/kykl.12196

"The effect of sex with multiple partners is positive and, in particular, men who engage in such sexual activities have higher happiness levels (but not women)."

Makes sense when you think about it. There's a reason why there aren't large groups of Men on the internet despondent about having too much sex.

Edit: there are however...diminishing returns.

Mimoxs · 2020-05-22T16:23:31+00:00

It's mostly emotional

They are morally bankrupt a very good portion of the time. This may be due to the fact that they have a large overlap with NPD. One of the signs of psychopathy in men is sexual promiscuity, which may play a role.

These men are generally lacking in empathy, which is another trait of NPD. More likely to cheat, unable to form emotional connections with women, they do not value their partners as much as normal men. They also tend to have more misogynistic ideas/views, and think very poorly of women in general. A lot of times this comes out in the way they treat their partners. Also, from what I've seen, far more likely to be physically abusive.

HarmonicUnion · 2020-05-22T12:31:46+00:00

I haven't personally seen any studies on this myself and they might not even exist, but I'd be willing to bet that the effect will be less than for women, but still statistically significant.

Male sexuality is less psychological than female, so it makes sense that the psychological effects would be less pronounced. However, I don't think men get off entirely without consequences either.

Cho_Assmilk · 2020-05-22T12:57:32+00:00

https://ifstudies.org/blog/does-sexual-history-affect-marital-happiness

Scroll down and you'll see a graph that shows that n-count affects the marital satisfaction of both men and women. Both men and women with higher partner counts report lower marital satisfaction.

sublimemongrel · 2020-05-22T14:07:09+00:00

I have saved some comments/posts over the years that I've seen on this topic.

Here is the most recent study I have see discussed, relevant quote:

"A person's history of sex was a predictor of infidelity, too. Men who reported having more short-term sexual partners prior to marriage were more likely to have an affair, while the opposite was true for women."

Last I checked the actual study was behind a paywall though, haven't checked recently.

See also the following comments. I have not looked at these in a while, but they seem to link some data on the topic:

https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/bj88ih/why_are_women_unable_to_pair_bond_after_having/em6455z/

https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/bj88ih/why_are_women_unable_to_pair_bond_after_having/em6aye5/

https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/81wx6m/why_a_womans_sexual_past_matters/dv6jfi1/

akihonj · 2020-05-22T12:52:58+00:00

There actually aren't that many studies out there in truth, certainly not many that I'm aware of, however suffice to say that the impacts of high body counts for women is the same as for men

Struggles with forming lasting relationships with the other gender Higher and faster expectations of sex Increase risk of STI Increase risk of infertility due to STI Increase risk of erectile disfunction due to psychosis related to relationship issues. Higher rates of divorce Higher rates of alcohol and drug abuse.

Most people love to believe that high number sexual partners don't affect men as much because men always want sex and will fuck whomever they can, sorry bits it's simply not true, it's a fallacy created by mainly feminists arguments around male sexual behaviour, most men when they are young will bang anything that stands still long enough, that's been linked directly to the high amounts of testosterone flooding through a males body during puberty and young adulthood.

At around 21-22 years old that starts to level out and most men learn to adapt their behaviour and calm down a bit and, that doesn't mean a low sex drive but it does mean other things start to be come a bigger focus and forming a relationship becomes more important than jumping anything warm and wet.

Appomattoxx · 2020-05-22T21:57:32+00:00

From an evolutionary pov, a guy who's fucked a lot of girls is merely proving he's good at reproduction. That's something you're going to want your sons to inherit, if you have any. The perfect guy is one who's fucked every other girl he's looked at, but then becomes perfectly monogamous when he meets you.

Which is the plot of ever romance novel written ever.

SeemedGood · 2020-05-22T15:49:33+00:00

Read the full study referenced in the post you linked and observe the underlying data. It has data for men as well.

What you will find is that there is a correlation between male n-count and marital satisfaction, but it is much weaker than it is for women and that the relationship beyond 1 or 2 previous sexual partners (can’t remember) isn’t very strong at all, to the threshold of being statistically insignificant.

Men and women are fundamentally different and prior n-count has different effects on us.

ivy176 · 2020-05-24T00:25:14+00:00

Males with high n counts equal zero interest from me. That's my only input. Demis aren't into non demis.

Sekina7 · 2020-05-22T21:09:31+00:00

Male N count is a predictor of a lack of responsibility, maturity and a good predictor of how he views and respects women, fidelity and whether or not said male would be a good candidate for marriage and fatherhood. It also raises a man's chance of becoming contracting and spreading STD's, becoming an unplanned father and thus having more kids and more financial responsibilities which takes away from the lifestyle and ability to provide for any kids you would want to have with the said man and the involvement of past baby mothers etc.

All in all, once women grow up outside of college then common sense would say that priorities change and people grow up. Why is it ok for men to taste the rainbow and buffet of casual sex with multiple women whilst young and then settle down once they decide they want a bang maid /mommy to bear the burden of providing them with offspring and then when they decide they aren't;t happy with the sacrifice the woman has made with her body, earning potential (and reputation to have his kids and risk labelled as a single mother if things go wrong and they separate ) and then the take as old as the time of men having a wife for the hard stuff then the mistress for romance and sexual escapades and not once have I heard any man on here mention this age-old tradition.

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Title	Male N-count Affects?
Author	LTFLume
Upvotes	19
Comments	106
Date	May 22, 2020 12:28 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/goifr6/male_ncount_affects/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/male-n-count-affects.667524 https://theredarchive.com/post/667524

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