What constitutes real self improvement?

87AudreyHorne · 2020-06-01T20:26:16+00:00

I dont get your question. Self improvement is very subjective, what you see as better you I might see as a worse you, or be indifferent to it and vice versa.

Maybe I didnt get your point

SpaceWhiskey · 2020-06-01T21:10:36+00:00

I guess just being intellectually curious? I don't know, there isn't some kind of perfect formula that anyone of any gender can just check all the boxes on and suddenly become "dating material", especially to a particular person.

This sort of question is honestly why I've started to drift away from this place for a while, human interaction is so nuanced there's almost no point in trying to work out the math for something that is unmathematical.

philomexa · 2020-06-01T22:48:18+00:00

I don't understand the point of self improvement, what am I improving, and why?

I have goals I wish to achieve, but these won't necessarily improve me as a person, as I believe my temperament and character are fairly set in stone.

CatchPhraze · 2020-06-02T00:48:14+00:00

As much as people say self discovery here, self monitoring is far more important. You might realize your grumpy after work but watching out for it and correcting it is both harder and bares much more results. So many people just pay on the back themselves for self realization they never move onto self correction and growth

2020-06-02T02:53:17+00:00

I read books about self-esteem, relationships, conflict resolution, etc.. I develop new hobbies, listen to podcasts and watch movies so I always have new things to talk about. I make new friends and expand my circle. Generally it’s hard for me to put myself out there so forcing myself to do it enriches my life.

I’m a purple pill young woman.

rosephase · 2020-06-01T20:47:06+00:00

Learning about the world. Deepening your understanding of yourself, humanity, culture and society. Exposing yourself to different experiences, people, art... you know, growing up and gaining experiences. There are tons of different ways to do it.

For me? The most important part is a human I can talk to for hours and be fascinated by.

gaylord_fag · 2020-06-02T01:53:12+00:00

There's a kind of stupid book I read called The 5 Love Languages. It's about the ways people express & communicate love to each other. One of the ways is through time spent together.

So that's what I consider an improvement above the the things you listed. Just literally being around is what will make me catch feels for a guy once he has all those basic bases covered.

wafflecorner · 2020-06-02T06:51:13+00:00

The hygiene and care to style is like you said kind of the bare aesthetic minimum, in my opinion self improvement is always working to be more kind and empathetic. The more I feel like a person is able to set their ego aside, the more fun it is to be around that person. Also people who bring up the people around them, it's really noticeable when you're around someone who really enjoys being in the moment. I feel like some qualities in the red pill community get an over inflated importance put on them. For example, drive, stoicism, and leadership. But those qualities only work in conjunction with empathy, compassion, and kindness. (in my opinion)

NarniaFox · 2020-06-02T03:32:56+00:00

I wouldn't say that thing you've listed aren't aimed for self-improvement. In my view everything you do that improves your skills, appearance or personality is self-improvement of some sort.

I'm not sure how reasonable is to do all these things just for the sake of dating though, as you still do it for external validation and it can be not very healthy for some people. I guess the way to self improve for dating is just making your life interesting for you and concentrate on yourself just for the sake of it before you start trying again.

AlissonHarlan · 2020-06-02T11:04:21+00:00

the real self-improvement is to grew a self-esteem and start liking yourself, then you can set boundaries, and don't take BS . Then you can care about and love others (loving others without a self-esteem or liking yourself is just being needy, most of the time, lol )

BlackPorcelainDoll · 2020-06-02T17:17:42+00:00

Healing, overcoming, moving forward with life by doing the work.

slavicgypsygirl · 2020-06-02T20:19:30+00:00

In addition to everything you have already listed I do daily tm, emdr & regularly see a psychologist

moosemoosecaribou · 2020-06-02T23:31:18+00:00

Constant learning, constant invention/creating, and training in skills that allow you to contribute/compete as a productive member of society. Never letting yourself become complacent, never letting yourself stop pursuing the next thing that might make a positive impact in your life.

....and I’m pretty sure you can pull that off without a skincare regime. I’ve never found one necessary.

AussieBrooks · 2020-06-04T02:10:41+00:00

Just basics, but I look at money as a big self improvement. Getting your finances in order and not having to struggle is a big self improvement for your life. Cause when your older, money seems to be the root for everything you will need. Kids, expenses, dating, good reliable car, shelter, when you get older and cant work, you cant make that money back, so for me I would say goals/finance plays a big part in my self improvement milestones.

Mimoxs · 2020-06-01T20:27:49+00:00

Closest thing would be pinkpill

An important thing is effort to expand the mind and mental capabilities by taking on new hobbies or learning goals. I try to learn a new language, I'm learning how to knit and sew, I'm learning how to program better bc I suck at it, I practice a couple instruments. Learning new things or getting better at the things you know you're kinda bad at are signs of dedication and initiative.

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Dora_Bowl · 2020-06-01T21:30:29+00:00

What do you mean by "real"?

crookedsummer2019 · 2020-06-01T21:32:10+00:00

I don’t align myself with any pill but acknowledge that there is some good advice in most pills when you push aside all the toxins.

To me, aside from the physical stuff, real self improvement is an improvement in mindset that can only come from self actualization and insight.

It’s easy to take up running, lift weights or get a better hair style, it’s much harder to look at yourself objectively, call yourself on your own shit, and do something about it.

Silly_Field · 2020-06-02T00:18:54+00:00

I am ‘blue pill’. I don’t really care about self improvement? I care that I like you and we’re compatible. I’ve never thought ‘wow this guy is such a self improver. Sold!’.

I like ambitious people with good careers or solid options for progression if they’re still studying. I like people who care about fitness, family and friendship, with good communication skills and self awareness. I don’t really care about your hobbies beyond that, but it’s good if you have some and every dude seems to want to talk my ear off about them, so it’d better not be video games.

ItWasBrokenAlready · 2020-06-02T04:38:28+00:00

I'm not a big fan of the whole self-improvement craze. The motivational quotes, coaches, constant pressure to 'become better self'. Ugh. Most of it is self-centered, shallow, neurotic navel-gazing. Just clear up your emotional troubles so you're not a shitty person to others, and care about your health.

It also rarely works as a standalone goal, similar to 'being happy'. Focus on improving the world around you instead, and the self-thing should follow eventually. I think having tangible goals beside 'self-growth' is much more balanced and healthy mindset to have.

misiepatysie · 2020-06-02T13:39:01+00:00

Your question can not really have an answer. Because self-improvment just means being better then you were before (or trying to get better than you were before). There are so many areas you can better yourself in, that the answer will vary from person to person.

thetruthishere_ · 2020-06-02T15:53:54+00:00

If you have attachment wounds work on them, youve had failed relationships, reflect, what part did you play. Repeated abusive relationships, reflect on why you keep going for abusive men or why you stayed. Things of this nature.

Real self improvement to me outside eating right, yada, yada is mental health.

Title	What constitutes real self improvement?
Author	phe2020pg40
Upvotes	14
Comments	73
Date	June 1, 2020 6:23 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/gupvif/what_constitutes_real_self_improvement/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-constitutes-real-self-improvement.670540 https://theredarchive.com/post/670540

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