Women who use Tinder: What do you see and want in male users?

cohost3 · 2020-06-03T22:05:08+00:00

Not sure if I can speak for all ladies on this but one thing that would scare me off would be the guy asking to meet too soon, or being to aggressive about meeting. I would want to know a bit about what the person is like before I meet them because; 1. Its already scary meeting a stranger when you know little about them and 2. It shows they don’t really care what you are like, just what you look like.

It’s a big turn off when guys would try and make a date within the first couple minutes of conversation.

PaintingOfJoan · 2020-06-03T19:38:37+00:00

If I’m using Tinder to fuck, I just find the hottest guy ‘cause there’s a better chance he’ll leave me alone after we fuck. If it’s going on a date, I dunno I just kinda look for someone who I would wanna talk to me or do something together.

speckles123 · 2020-06-03T20:39:20+00:00

If he’s good looking, kinda quirky I’ll swipe right and then if we have a good conversation - I don’t mean like pleasant “where do you work?” I mean if it’s fun, a bit sharp and witty and can be abstract rather than content-focused (what do you do, hobbies) that definitely interests me.

What makes me uninterested (and question the youth of today in general) is if their first message is “hi, how are you?” To A PERSON YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT. You could ask anything in the entire world, maybe something that interested you in their profile or something you’re interested in in general yourself. But to ask how they’re doing... how feeble and boring. I definitely appreciate individuality and humor.

I message first probably 30-40% of the time and I’ll pick something in their pictures or profile to comment on. If I can’t think of anything, I don’t message and sometimes they do.

bythepeachtrees · 2020-06-04T12:55:32+00:00

Attractive
Sense of humor
Doesn’t take himself seriously

octocombo · 2020-06-04T03:11:37+00:00

I only used Tinder briefly and don't currently use Tinder, but while I was on the app:

I left-swiped anyone with a shirtless mirror selfie and anyone without a bio, even if he was physically attractive
I left-swiped anyone with a generic bio and anyone with a bio that had bigoted comments in their bio (even if it seemed to be expressed in a joking way)
I left-swiped anyone who put up a picture of himself smoking, vaping, or with a gun
I noticed that most guys had some photos where they looked significantly more attractive than in their other photos
Do show your body in clothes that fit well, don't show your half-naked body unless you have very toned abs
Do start a conversation with a non-generic comment about one of my pictures or (ideally) my bio; don't start a conversation with just "hi"
If you try to tell me you know what I want better than I know what I want, the conversation is over
If you talk about sex/kinks before having a substantive conversation about anything else, I am out
If you imply you won't wear a condom or try to pressure me to say yes to sex without a condom, I'm losing your contact information. Also if you brag about giving women UTIs (yes, someone actually did this)???

BITG123 · 2020-06-03T21:59:33+00:00

[deleted]

PollaTronante · 2020-06-03T20:22:42+00:00

Most frequent thing, besides guys not being my physical type, that leads me to reject men is a general sense of lacking kindness or being arrogant, even if just through what kinds of photos they have or what they put on their profiles. When I accept men I do because they look like they might be my physical type (though impossible to tell until I meet them) and they seem kind and humble.

perv_alert93 · 2020-06-04T12:23:40+00:00

Tinder am gonna go by how cute/hot the guy is. If he's average and a great bio then instant match, if he's super cute but no bio still a match. I gave a guy my number like two convos in because he was cute and lived less than 1km from me which was a super bonus

Also agreed to meet with him with very erratic conversations with months in between cos he send me a super cute selfie. I am a shallow woman so yea that worked

ExoticTown · 2020-06-03T20:04:13+00:00

Casual dealbreakers:

ear gauges or neck/face tattoos, generally too many tattoos
Too many pics at the gym looking roided out although muscular fit or slender/broad shouldered body is a must
Too short...if body proportions look off I'll pass since men lie about their age and height
Pro-Trump tradcons, overt rednecks or super liberal weak soyboy archetypes
I prefer white guys - if from the UK or Northern Europe is a big plus although slavs and South Americans are sometimes acceptable. No greeks, french, or Italians usually, even though they can be really hot
No pictures of you with a dead animal.
If your first pic is you with a group of friends, automatic swipe left unless all of the guys are really hot
Blurry pics that look like they are taken in 1999 w a 640*480 disposable
Insulting women in your profile, being racist, homophobic, xenophobic, "ethically non-mongomous", cheating...

Those aren't even all of my requirements and deal-breakers and I'm a 43 y.o. post wall used up thot. And still match with 95-100% of the guys I right swipe. Tinder is for the few, the proud, the Chads.

Silly_Field · 2020-06-04T01:55:41+00:00

Weird close up selfies.

Too many shirtless pictures - one tasteful one is fine. No shirtless mirror selfie or singlet selfie at the gym is ever going to be tasteful.

A bitter sounding bio (‘no hookups or hos), an entitled sounding bio (‘here for a good time not a long time’ is a turn off, even if I am just looking for casual sex). A bio that makes it seem like you have no social awareness ‘I am Jack and I am X height and I work XYZ supposedly impressive job’ (it’s a dating app not a CV, please be somewhat lighthearted or we are unlikely to ever get along lol).

Guys whose messages are aggressively flirty or who comment on my body. They seem to think it’s normal - but it’s only one in 20 people who does this. The majority of men are quite respectful and good at working out the vibe/whether it would be appropriate to do that.

Guys who express weird political views or weird views about gender. It’s too soon to give me your treatise on life as we know it, I do not care, and we’re also just fundamentally incompatible because we have different values.

Of course I must also find you attractive.

Searley_Bear · 2020-06-04T06:51:56+00:00

I am not on it right now but I used to be, things that make it a no from me:

Neck tattoos or anything that looks generally.... low class (like pictures of your sup'd up corolla).
A dead end job (sorry guys).
Smoking.
No bio, or a bio that has bigotry vibes or straight up rude shit.
If we match and the guy immediately starts talking about sex and clearly has no interest in me as a person.
Muscle or shirtless pics where you're not at the beach or somewhere it's normal to not wear a shirt.
You seem mad at the world.
Guys who push to meet before having a conversation, especially after I've said I'd rather chat first.
Guys who push for my phone number, especially after I've said I'd rather chat first. Seriously guys do you think bullying me into stuff like that is going to end well? I mean wtf.

It's a straight yes if:

Dude have a hobby. Any hobby I swear just be interested in something.
He looks groomed/well kept i.e. his beard isn't running rampant and he looks neat and tidy.
He has a job that has intent.
We have stuff in common.

I know people probably don't like some of these but that's the truuuth. Obvi from this list I'm not using it for casual one-off catch ups.

BlackPorcelainDoll · 2020-06-04T05:05:50+00:00

Good bios that match face

AdolfGandi · 2020-06-06T23:20:18+00:00

Chiseled Jaw
Height
Six Pack
Muscle
Extroverted, perfect social skills
Emotionally Distant
Reminds me of my absentee father

GroundSloth123 · 2020-06-10T15:43:48+00:00

As far as what we see/want: something that makes you stand out from a crowd. Think of it as applying for a job, youre throwing youre resume on a pile of hundreds of resumes, many of whom will have the basic “credentials” (in this case, attractive enough, employed, don’t look like total dinguses). In order to get a swipe you have to stand out. Something that makes me laugh in a guys bio ALWAYS earns a swipe, especially after a seeing profile after profile with the phrase “I have a good sense of humor.” If you have to prove that by saying “I have a good sense of humor,” then no you don’t.

Turn offs that have gotten instant left swipes from me. Remember I am not all women and everyone is different:

Pictures of dudes holding fish. why does EVERY GUY ON TINDER HAVE A PICTURE HOLDING A FISH?

No “real” looking pictures-meaning if all of your photos are you dressed in a suit or very clearly photo-manipulated I assume you’re overcompensating for something and so swipe left.

Any description of your personality (see above “I have a good sense of humor”). Well, if you’re funny write something funny, if you’re intelligent write something thought provoking, you describing traits you believe you have just makes you look vain and like none of those things.

Any mention of your star chart but that’s personal because I think astrology is boring and lame.

Pictures of you with kids. As I don’t want to date someone who has them, and if they’re NOT yours but are in your photo I will assume they’re yours and thus swipe left even if you seem great. Again, this is just me-some women want to date a guy with kids and will feel differently.

Pictures of you with an ex or another girl cuz...what?

I don’t smoke weed so I swipe left on guys who talk about “420.” I have nothing against the practice, I just don’t think people are sexy when they’re high and know that about myself. Again, some girls might be smokers and this would be a plus for them.

People who write nothing in their bio. I’m never going to be attracted enough to just a picture of anyone (doesn’t matter if you’re Johnny Depp, still no) to want to talk to them without any indication of they’re personality.

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Title	Women who use Tinder: What do you see and want in male users?
Author	DesertWolf45
Upvotes	2
Comments	92
Date	June 3, 2020 7:32 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/gw0tla/women_who_use_tinder_what_do_you_see_and_want_in/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-who-use-tinder-what-do-you-see-and-want-in.671933 https://theredarchive.com/post/671933

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