While all this talk about male nature vs. female nature and the male imperative vs. the female imperative definitely has merit, I think we often miss a pretty big fact: we can overlap.

To put things into perspective, just look at the sex hormones. Men’s main hormone is testosterone and women’s main hormone is estrogen. Testosterone is the cause of men’s characteristic high sex drive, ease to anger/aggressivity, facial hair, deep voice, strength, and inclination to dominate. Estrogen is the cause of women’s characteristic sensitivity, neuroticism, breasts, curves, softness, and inclination to submit. You can say that these are “our” hormones respectively. At the same time, each gender also has the opposite hormone flowing through their veins (~40 ng for each; definitely enough to have an effect). With this, you can assume that they’re also (slightly) inclined to the opposite traits and thus, the opposite imperative.

So, yes- men are inclined to hypergamy and women are inclined to polygamy (polyandry?). Men can be neurotic and women can be aggressive. Men can be a little curvy and women can (and often do!) have a little facial hair. Men can get off on submitting and women can get off on dominating. Men can get emotional (be motivated solely by emotion) and women can get horny (be motivated solely by sex). Anyway, you get the point: the gender’s “natures” are not and can never be set in stone. In fact the gender’s natures are not in opposition. Knowing that we all share a little bit of femininity and masculinity, no man is entirely masculine, and no woman is entirely feminine.

Because of this “similar difference”, our romantic and sexual behavior can be similar. Saying that men don’t want the best mate is dumb, and saying that women don’t want a court of orbiters is dumb. The highest value dudes I know rival umc white girls in pickiness. And just read a popular female novel or watch a beloved chick flick to see how much women LOVE the idea of multiple hot dudes wanting them, MMF porn threesome is apparently a big thing for women who watch porn.

I would even go as far as saying that the biggest difference between the both genders is having options vs not having options. So people who have options (mainly women due to men’s higher sex drives) don’t focus on trying to have as many suitors as possible; they just pick the best. Fem*els and in*els have the same issue; they blame their lack of options. They don’t focus on having 1 partner, they focus on women/men in general (“if their standards were lower, I’d have someone!”). This is solely due to having a limited pool. So when you think about it, we don’t have male nature vs female nature; we have a scarcity mindset vs abundance mentality.

While men and women are different, we’re more similar than we think.

PS: idea was from another PPD redditor, i helped, we wrote it together, the person has a lil issue with Reddit who keep banning lol