CMV: Men respect women who use sex as a bargaining chip.

Aaren_Augustine · 2020-07-09T01:03:21+00:00

Ah, yes, artificial inflation. So good right up until it pops. You'd better make sure he NEVER cracks the code on this one. The moment he does, he'll have zero respect for you.

And what's there to respect. It isn't earned. Its restricted. Being pussy whipped isn't respectable either.

reluctantly_red · 2020-07-09T01:57:08+00:00

RUFKM? Any woman who tries to use sex as a bargaining chip is going to get shown the door immediately!

Pontifex_Lucious-II · 2020-07-09T00:51:17+00:00

Lmao. Some strong asexual bullshit going on here.

Men do not love women more because they are frigid and deny them sexually.

They resent these women.

The man only has his “frigid wife by his side” because the law demands enormous penalties to dislodge her ass from him.

TheBookOfSeil · 2020-07-09T00:31:14+00:00

Men don't respect women who use sex as a bargaining chip. We respect good women with healthy boundaries who know their value. Withholding sex is not an automatic indicator of value. If done by lower value women, it's just seen as a hurdle. It doesn't make you more respectable by proxy.

Sea-Buffalo · 2020-07-09T02:10:01+00:00

Once you are in a relationship you shouldn’t make sex transactional or else it will lead to resentment and cause the relationship to end.

If you make him earn it, you are no longer having a relationship build on love and partnership. You are using him as a resource and tool.

BlackPorcelainDoll · 2020-07-09T00:54:54+00:00

They respect consistent women above all else e.g., women that use their sexuality to their advantage only if they are honest about utilizing sexuality to extract gains because it increases the likelihood of them getting benefits & do not wish to be treated like anything other than what they portray themselves as, they respect women that want to be treated in a way that corresponds with their behaviors and do not flaunt double standard, so women that bargain with sexuality successfully (and get men) typically don't play dumb about it..

But women want to exercise the double standard - "respect me as a whore" - which is perfectly fine, no issue there imo many liberal men are good with it

Just be consistent and some man will wanna marry you, they take anything really, most men desperate

singlemommakecrime9 · 2020-07-09T03:06:25+00:00

I cant because its 100% true. A virgin woman that waits till marriage is very much respected.

xFallacyx69 · 2020-07-09T00:35:36+00:00

Withholding sex is different than setting boundaries. Withholding sex means ur shit in bed and prob gonna get pumped and dumped... setting boundaries means you know sex is better with feelings involved...

Sid_Insidious · 2020-07-09T01:28:02+00:00

If it was a man writing this exact same strategy on the exact same subject, the Southern Poverty Law Center would add this person and the people they affiliate with to their list of misogynistic hate groups on the grounds they are supporting and condoning emotional manipulation and emotional abuse. They actually list "witholding of intimacy" a form of emotional abuse, but it's thinly veiled as a type of abuse only *MEN* instigate. (When in truth, emotional manipulation and withdrawing physical and emotional intimacy is a *female* speciality).

I know one guy who tells his girlfriends: If the sex stops (reason don't matter) he's out. Or, since it's his house, she is out.

A "real woman" doesn't need to manipulate a man using sex.

A "real man" walks away from this sort of female manipulation.

Workaholiconew · 2020-07-09T01:38:38+00:00

Most men here were willing to trade satisfying sex, for resources, for a long while now, they just could not make it work. The heck you talking about? What did you suppose beta strategy were?

I am also of the opinion that most men here already respect women decisions (as in, are indifferent to their choices). Women can do or offer whatever they want, but it does not mean it will attract men's interests enough to get a relationship with. That is why so many men who can, do not do relationships. toying away with sex supply only leads to resentment.

Sex is a need, not having sex is a primary reason to evade a relationship. Each time a woman refuses her man needs without a good reason, it just increases the chances of ending the relationship or increase the chances of cheating. But we are willing to negotiate resources for sex. That is actually what our biology said for us to do. women who chose not to negotiate.

2020-07-09T03:47:45+00:00

Meh. Men respect who they want to respect, and it has very little to do with how you behave. IMO, if you're consciously choosing a type of behavior in order to garner respect from someone else, you've already lost.

Ecocavalry · 2020-07-09T13:27:40+00:00

I agree with the title and not the post that explains it. Men are bombarded with images of naked women from a young age. And they associate women mostly with lust and cannot differentiate between lust and love at the onset of a relationship. Thus they take a lot of time falling in love(and falling out of love). The speeds at which both the parties form their attachments are not necessarily equal. By extending the courting period, you are increasing the probability of love dominating over lust and in time men fall in love with the women. Men are more hung up on those frigid women because they fell in love, mistresses are for fulfilling lust, most women would do the job for that, being hung up is all about ease of substitution and fear of loss , irreplaceable losses cause more sadness.

cloudydays84 · 2020-07-09T01:10:20+00:00

This sounds unhealthy as fuck and is predicated on the belief that a person has enough tolerance or I guess in this case "love" to put up with these weird games.

Yet men fall in love when their brain spends longer anticipating sexual release and associating this frustration with a particular person.

I'll make this simple and say: Am man, don't agree.

And in the wife/mistress material dichotomy, it’s the frigid wife a man spends years hung up on and trying to crack the code. And who he respects and has by his side long term.

This sounds like the gender revered old stereotypical "bad boy":

oh my god this person who has personality traits that I clearly can't stand and am not compatible with is actually someone that I secretly respect and am attracted to.

gunbusterxl · 2020-07-09T02:04:53+00:00

This falls apart if the man wants sex less than the woman does. Contrary to popular belief, not all men are sex-crazed junkies, willing to do anything to get their "fix."

austino7 · 2020-07-09T03:53:02+00:00

It doesn’t matter which partner withholds the sex (men do it too for various reasons) the result of too much withholding of sex in a monogamous relationship only leads to resentment and eventually loss of attraction. Just go look over at the dead bedrooms subreddit if you want evidence of this. Sure a little playing hard to get is fine if the relationship is healthy but when it becomes an ongoing withholding especially if favors or chores are used as a bargaining chip (but only sometimes or never rewarded) it devalues the entire relationship. Most people are going to leave if they’re being treated like that. And if they don’t then they don’t have a lot of self respect, are financially tied to their partner, have kids, etc.

2020-07-09T14:21:05+00:00

Not at all. When a woman uses sex as a bargaining chip, she's just confirming what every misogynist says; women can only offer sex to this world.

When women lean on that stereotype it looks pathetic and it doesn't help that face that it does indeed help confirm misogynistic views towards them. How is that respect?

darksoldierk · 2020-07-09T23:50:52+00:00

Men aren't sitting there anticipating sexual release, trust me. If you make him work for it, the average men will just go see a hooker and not tell you about it. or he'll cheat.

The reason why using sex as a bargaining chip or as a manipulation tactic is a golden rule is because by doing so, you are giving him permission to cheat you. That's basically it. Whether you like it or not, if you aren't going to give it to him, he's going to get it from someone else. Most of the time, you won't even know until years later.

Mimoxs · 2020-07-09T01:37:51+00:00

Men cannot respect women.

What you're referring to is male ego. They are egotistical and become angered by women who won't give them what they want.

As a result, they feel it is a challenge, and male psychology is prone to never turning down challenges bc men stake their pride in their capabilities.

It's irritation, anger, and the desire to not feel defeated. Not respect.

NarniaFox · 2020-07-09T00:37:22+00:00

What is it with this attitude?

Imo, a healthy happy couple wants to have sex, if they aren't asexuals or something similar. Both partners are interested in having sex and they anticipate it. Some might like waiting games or teasing each other, but it isn't about "making him work for it", it's just a prolonged foreplay that both parties enjoy.

Silly_Field · 2020-07-09T00:38:04+00:00

Only men with Madonna/whore complexes.

A lot of men wouldn’t be able to respect their wives if they weren’t frigid. A lot of men view women they sleep with as sexual objects rather than sexual beings and obviously it’s hard to fathom being in a long term, loving and respecting relationship with an object.

These are generally high disgust, overly neurotic men.

Well adjusted men prefer women who have healthy boundaries around sex - ie who don’t have sex when they’re not yet comfortable just because he wants to move faster, who don’t have sex when they’re not in the mood.

A lot of this “withholding sex” stuff is bullshit imo. No one is withholding sex with the exception of narcissists, who are mostly men. Women don’t want to sleep with men they barely know (fair), men they have just had a fight with (fair) or men whom they have a lot of built up resentment towards (fair).

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Lunatic_Jiggles · 2020-07-09T04:09:05+00:00

Emotional abuse isn’t healthy, shouldn’t be tolerated, and definitely not promoted like this post is doing.

spacechicken1990 · 2020-07-09T05:01:55+00:00

Why is this narrative pushed that women dont value sex and are only using it as a resource? I genuinely want to know, who are these women??

VoiceOfTheMillenium · 2020-07-09T07:51:47+00:00

it’s the frigid wife a man spends years hung up on and trying to crack the code.

We spend years hung on such "frigid wives" not because we want to "crack the code", mate, but because she is also frigid when it comes to fucking with our brains. We respect THAT.

The moment you become nagging bitch with attitude of a princess who brings nothing but a pain in the ass is the moment you get discarded and thrown out. I am not wasting 40+ hours a week at work only to come home and meet with the same stressful shit because somebody is in the mood for nagging and mind games.

ChelseaDagger14 · 2020-07-09T11:20:48+00:00

Very much disagree.

Lots of women who make men wait do it because sex is all they have to offer. They’ll wonder why guys fuck then off after sex, but it’s because once they’ve got that - there’s no reason to continue pursuing them.

Personally if I’m “made to wait” I just won’t bother. It is possible to get to know someone and sleep with them.

2020-07-09T11:50:33+00:00

Men want women who are easy for them and hard for every other male on the planet.

sparklingscott · 2020-07-09T12:31:58+00:00

Lmao no

2020-07-09T12:42:26+00:00

I told my wife while we were dating that sex isn't a tool to be used and in our relationship as a "reward".

She's kept to that.

I have no respect for women who use sex as a currency in a relationship.

12112019 · 2020-07-09T16:15:36+00:00

Sounds retarded, the only reason why women should withhold sex is to apply it as a leverage to force men into doing what they want, and that can only be efficient when almost all women engage in it or when you choose a man who is unable to get many women as it stands and he won't mind waiting.

Men who are accustomed of sleeping with women fast enough will move on.

UTC24 · 2020-07-09T22:38:44+00:00

Is this common mentality among women nowadays? No wonder we're in the shithole we find us in.

saladfingers4141 · 2020-07-10T10:41:20+00:00

Withholding sex doesn’t get you respect. Men respect high value women, end of story.

InfidelCastro11 · 2020-07-09T00:33:12+00:00

Men don't enjoy being dancing monkeys. Not the sane ones, anyway. There's a difference between making a guy work for it forever and not giving it up immediately. The former is a glorified, probably overpaid prostitute.

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Title	CMV: Men respect women who use sex as a bargaining chip.
Author	waxedmintfloss
Upvotes	0
Comments	103
Date	July 9, 2020 12:28 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/hnt1yl/cmv_men_respect_women_who_use_sex_as_a_bargaining/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/cmv-men-respect-women-who-use-sex-as-a-bargaining.714253 https://theredarchive.com/post/714253

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