SeX PoSiTiVe writers in mainstream media are honestly the WORST and LEAST qualified people to be giving sex advice most of the time.

2021-01-30T15:38:10+00:00

Women with research backgrounds, who’ve spent their life working for a PhD, aren’t really going to be incentivised to write click bait, sadly... I wish people revered scientists and scholars instead of “influencers”

VikingDotter · 2021-01-30T20:08:37+00:00

You wanna know which sex stigma I wish could be broken down? The stigma against vanilla sex. The stigma against romantic sex. The stigma against being boring for liking the missionary when you can have eye contact and kiss. The stigma against not wanting to be pounded from behind like a dog or not wanting to be slammed against a wall or be treated like an object.

Vanilla sex can be wonderful, but I have barely experienced it because men don’t want it. To them it’s boring - and surprise surprise, could that be because of porn normalizing sex? Yes it can. Sex is so abundant and normalized that now women need to be a freak in the sheets in order to be interesting. I refuse to be a freak anymore. I hate getting spanked, having my hair pulled, I hate anal and getting face fucked, I hate getting choked, being blindfolded or tied up or whipped, I hate getting rammed and pounded, I hate it with a passion.

I vow to from now on only have the kind of sex I want to have - and if I have that sex with my vibrator instead of a man, great. At least I know how romance works, can’t count on a man for that.

Maingurl · 2021-01-30T16:29:28+00:00

A lot of these Cool-Girl writers come from wealthy influential families. They have a narrow-minded view on women's reality. They'll write articles on, "How to fuxk your boss!“ without thinking of the possible repercussions. Will I still get a promotion? Is my reputation on the line? Will he use it against me?

They see fucking your boss as a right of passage to Quirk-Town! It's a story they can tell their upper-east side friends lol! These women don't have to worry about unemployment they've got generational wealth!

They don't think about how their articles affect working class women or woc! My mexican ass could never go around doing all these "silly mistakes". I don't get second chances.

Pasdepromesses · 2021-01-30T16:47:05+00:00

I just saw Sophia Benoit liking tweets from O.J. Simpson.

I think they're not only LV, but also not very good people to begin with.

CatusCactus · 2021-01-30T18:29:16+00:00

It’s the same way porn directors influence people’s perception of good and healthy sex. The way they the most amount of money is make attention-grabbing scenes. These pervs are no way qualified, but they still influence people.

Emergency-Feed8216 · 2021-01-30T19:26:35+00:00

So true. If I was a professional sex columnist-- which would never happen because no mainstream media company would pay a columnist to alienate big advertisers (who primarily sell via sex and fear)-- I'd recommend that, #1, women don't sleep with anyone, even on a FWB basis, without knowing their character.

That's because much more than bodily fluids and STDs can get transferred during the act. I think damage and addiction are also transmissible. For instance, addicts will typically induce in others the kind of pain, alienation and traumatic betrayal that originally drove the addict to numb themselves. Sex is an especially efficient conduit to transfer psychic damage

If someone's covertly a creep, a fraud, a cheat, a pig, a user, porn zombie, abuser, shill, weenie, entitled prick or worse, your subconscious intuition is picking up on it even if your conscious mind has been hoodwinked. Whether you want to or not and whether you're aware or not, you will psychically brace in defense. So as you're having sex, you're actually practicing psychic detachment from the act.

What no one tells us is that practicing sexual detachment is like traffic spikes-- once you go that direction, you can't "back up" and change directions so easily even when with a subsequent safer partner. Trying to "un-detach" in order to be fully present and engaged later may become extremely difficult.

The analogy that comes to mind is clinical nutrient malabsorption. Chemical laden junk food, aside from being nutritionally void, will wreck gut flora to the point that people develop lesions and scarring in the precise locations in the upper intestinal tract that are responsible for absorbing B vitamins, protein, essential fats, iron, etc., causing slow, progressive brain and cellular starvation in what appears to be a well-fed individual. This is common in people with IBS and celiacs who may have to take nutrition supplements, probiotics and digestive enzymes for the rest of their lives since even when switching back to a healthy diet, the person can no longer extract sufficient nutrients from the best food sources since the scarred portions of the intestines don't work and gut flora is irreparably imbalanced throughout.

Without treatment, the body will continue to starve and will crank up hunger signals in an unconscious quantity-over-quality strategy to get the critical missing nutrients, leading to compulsion and loss of control of food choices as the body reaches for the highest glycemic foods-- usually junk that's chemically engineered for this purpose (like nicotine boosters in cigarettes)-- that will most quickly quell crisis cravings. The long term results can be obesity, diabetes, chronic disease, depression, anxiety, mental illness and cancer.

I think it's the same dynamic in sex. The "scarring" is the point for many when the "nutrients" of normal sexual intimacy can no longer be "absorbed." Then "vanilla" sex becomes dead and the need for progressive kink fantasy and progressive extremes of technical gymnastics and/or sexual aggression increases. Sex becomes performative instead of engulfing. The progessive psychic scarring and consequent psychic starvation for true intimacy leads to an equivalent loss of control in choosing partners and experiences and decrease in awareness of risks.

Another analogy for it could be Persephone in hell. In the Greek myth, the goddess of vegetation is abducted by Hades, goes into despair and refuses to eat. Hades eventually tricks Persephone into eating pomegranate seeds. For each seed she eats, Persephone must remain in the land of the dead for an equivalent number of months each year, during which time nothing grows on earth.

In short, don't accept snacks from zombies and vet before fucking.

Now which groovy pseudo-alt, psuedo-lib sEx PoSItiVe commercial media conglomerate is going to offer me a byline?! Hellooo... crickets.

Edits-- spelling, dysfunctional commas.

ReignOnYou95 · 2021-01-30T19:15:44+00:00

I cant believe those are the most popular prn videos. Thats so deprived. I dont even think the step sis/bro thing was THAT popular even like 2-3 years ago. What is there obsession with it? Jfc.

mothertuna · 2021-01-31T01:22:24+00:00

This was a few years ago but Teen Vogue had articles teaching girls how to have anal sex. I think that if you want to make content like that, it should be for an adult audience only.

I can’t say much sickens me but that really took the cake. They barely were called out for it too! I’m almost 30 so I’ve watched pornography go from anal being the taboo sex act to all this stepsister, spitting on and whipping people bullshit.

I wasn’t impressionable watching that stuff but it’s gotta be hard for a young girl/woman’s self esteem to feel that they aren’t being freaky enough. Sex positivity is feeding into the patriarchy because who does all this benefit? Who does this exploit? (Not in the case of people who aren’t heterosexual but you get it).

wonkyeyes8877 · 2021-01-31T02:33:04+00:00

Imagine the massive shift that could take place in society if women could just openly admit to the fact that they don't really want "that d!ck", they want affection and intimacy. It needs to start being okay.

noavocadoshere · 2021-01-30T19:50:42+00:00

this reaffirms a lot of what i've been thinking in regards to sex-posi columnists, and i hope a shift comes. women and girls need solid, accessible advice from modern voices against the wave of detrimental garbage we've been getting slammed with. also, separate note: i wasn't aware margo st. james died ten days ago.

howdoilogoutt · 2021-01-30T20:43:28+00:00

Buzzfeed is literally the worst for this

pinkcloudzzz · 2021-01-31T05:54:10+00:00

Men have a vested interest in hiring these women to write these garbage articles for their male owned “feminist” magazines

99power · 2021-01-31T00:44:39+00:00

God, the FDS Twitter is killing it!!

weekend111 · 2021-01-31T23:12:49+00:00

I’m very sex positive. I love affectionate consensual sex with a loving, attentive man my age (or close).

Degrading sex is the opposite of sex positive.

CynicalSucculent · 2021-01-30T21:16:55+00:00

Not one lie was told here

ScrotonimoStilton · 2021-01-31T16:05:55+00:00

If possible, please keep this pinned forever. People need to fucking understand and LEARN.

eyooooo123 · 2021-02-01T18:05:26+00:00

First paragraph is not cash money

Godschild2020 · 2021-01-30T15:59:39+00:00

[removed]

luvmyvulvaxoxo · 2021-01-30T16:05:14+00:00

[deleted]

Title	SeX PoSiTiVe writers in mainstream media are honestly the WORST and LEAST qualified people to be giving sex advice most of the time.
Author	MarbleWorld
Upvotes	545
Comments	53
Date	January 30, 2021 2:38 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/l8mzlw/sex_positive_writers_in_mainstream_media_are/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/sex-positive-writers-in-mainstream-media-are.740840 https://theredarchive.com/post/740840

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