Is the main stream really encouraging women to wait until their late 30s to have children?

Obvi_maybe · 2021-02-19T18:00:46+00:00

No, mainstream medical advice is still to have children in your mid-late twenties. That goes for both men and women. Male sperm donors are rejected after age 33 in my country.

Women have children much later because most women want to be able to pay their own bills and rely on themselves financially. That also necessitates that you go to school for longer, so at 22-23 you have your bachelors and you might even take more training/education until age 25-26, then you're probably working at your mcjob in some non-descript corporate office for 2 years and then you and the boyfriend you've had since 24-28 decide that time to tie the knot! so you do that and hey! look at that! you're already 30!

People just do a lot more these days.

JohnDoe9564 · 2021-02-19T17:55:18+00:00

No one is really encouraging women to do anything. The main message now is to just do as you wish, use your free will to the max.

This applies to both genders

reluctantly_red · 2021-02-19T18:23:52+00:00

Most women have no problem with late 30s births.

My grandmother didn't get married until she was 40 and then had five kids.

vvvqvvv · 2021-02-19T20:06:40+00:00

Have you seen how expensive it is to have a family now? Women are busy working in their 20s and thus less babies.

I think we will see more women go childless as time goes on, esp in gen Z. I'm part of gen Z and I know plenty of women, myself included, who never want to be mothers.

relish5k · 2021-02-19T18:13:15+00:00

Medical professionals don't really encourage women to do anything IME. But the social norm is that ideally you should wait until you are financially secure to have children. Also you want to have had fun doing you're own thing for a while so you can be more or less content with staying home every night for 18 years.

For lots of people, this means waiting until you are over 30

PM_ME_SPICY_DECKS · 2021-02-19T20:48:10+00:00

No, economic conditions are.

People want to have children when they reach financial stability. Millenials are not reaching that stability as early in life as previous generations due to increasing costs of housing coupled with stagnant wages.

SaBahRub · 2021-02-19T18:15:46+00:00

No one is saying you should

Just that women are taking the risk more often, due to the benefits, and thus more often have to deal with the consequences

Come on, can we not analyze data? Do you need to be told what to do like children?

LeatherDifference583 · 2021-02-19T18:34:52+00:00

I wouldn't say they are being 'encouraged' one way or another. Rather, there's been a socioeconomic and cultural shift which means millenials are spending their thirties like it's their twenties.

AnarchoNAP · 2021-02-19T18:05:04+00:00

Being able to just Google health information is a relatively new option. And I've never heard it talked about in casual conversation. If you don't know that declining fertility is a thing- I think most people vaguely know you can't have kids at 50- then you have nothing to go Google.

I happened to be talking to someone who happened to be a "midwife" about dating and said I had time. They told me in fact I did not because of declining fertility. THEN I looked into it as I had no idea.

I saw an OB twice before I met my husband. The recommendation at the time was to go every year if you are sexually active. Based on this recommendation I should have gone three times (after each partner I guess) before meeting my husband at the age of 29. I saw no reason to drop $200 for them to do... what? It was advertised as a way to get birth control and check for STDs. That was shit advertising on their and the health department's part, but that was what was said.

Society doesn't straight up tell you to wait to have kids, but if you do what society tells you- go to school, get a career, date for years on end before marrying- then you will in fact wait to have kids.

As someone who's moved across the country, there is a VAST difference in quality of doctors in different regions. Doctors here will tell you your options. They do NOT recommend having kids after 35, unless you are already over 35. It doesn't really become risky until 40. You may have trouble conceiving in your mid 30s is the problem.

John_Oakman · 2021-02-19T19:50:39+00:00

It takes more time and effort to just reach the starting line given the economic realities of today, so it's more of the reality than anything else. More people are also becoming more financially aware compared to previous generations, for better or worse.

towerofcheeeeza · 2021-02-19T22:12:31+00:00

It's less that people are saying women should have childrenin their thirties and more that kids are EXPENSIVE and many women and couples (yes, their spouses too) want to be financially secure before having kids.

Hoopy223 · 2021-02-19T18:30:44+00:00

I think its a combination of people taking longer and longer to find decent jobs & society becoming more selfish on the whole.

HobbitShaker88 · 2021-02-19T19:09:40+00:00

Due to medical improvements, waiting until 35 and older, it is still possible to have children safely. Most of my family was unusual for their time period. My mother and 4 of my aunts, plus 2 of my older cousins, all had 2-3 kids starting at ages 35 and older. I have 2 distant cousins that have 1 child by accident around age 40-41. My family is not the norm though.

I wouldnt say it is encouraged to wait, just more to not despair if it hasnt happened yet in your early 30s.

justaskinthequestion · 2021-02-19T20:03:30+00:00

No one is encouraging it but lots of people are sugarcoating it / giving bad medical advice. I have met plenty of women in their late 30s who have told me their plan was to take their time and date around, then get married, then have kids. Here's some articles that express what I'm talking about:

https://www.kqed.org/stateofhealth/13312/baby-panic-women-over-35-may-be-quite-fertile-after-all

https://qz.com/729821/the-idea-that-a-womans-fertility-plummets-at-age-35-comes-from-bad-science/

These articles typically cite the fertility rate of 35-39 year olds. Of course, the rate for 39 year olds is different than the rate for 35 year olds, so this is misleading. The articles also fail to highlight the difficulty for women if they want to date, get to know someone AND have kids. I don't care if someone doesn't want kids or wants to wait until later in life but there is no point denying basic medical facts.

These articles generally claim that anyone who believes fertility sharply declines is relying on French birth records which are hundreds of years old. And the articles ignore much higher rates of miscarriages and chromosomal abnormalities.

https://www.acog.org/womens-health/faqs/having-a-baby-after-age-35-how-aging-affects-fertility-and-pregnancy

I understand that women can and do have children in their late 30s. If they want to do that, they should be supported. But medical facts should be stated as objectively as possible so that people can make optimal decisions.

basicbiddy · 2021-02-19T20:19:41+00:00

No, not really. I think it is more so that women aren’t as pressured to reproduce by a certain age.

boomcheese44 · 2021-02-19T20:57:31+00:00

No, but what some mainstream doctors are saying is that your fertility won't vanish overnight on your 35th birthday and that you can have a healthy baby after that age. A few of my millenial friends are just now trying to get pregnant in their mid-30s and are having an easy time doing it.

xFallacyx69 · 2021-02-19T21:26:58+00:00

It’s just harder to have kids at 25 now because you need 2 people to take care of the kid if you want it to be successful...

Unless you plan on being a single mom! The state loves all that future cheap labor!! And bonus points if you can play detective and track down that deadbeat that you somehow wanted to use to bring a child into this world... so the government doesn’t have to foot the bill!!

SeemedGood · 2021-02-19T17:56:23+00:00

Is it now significantly safer to have your first kid after age 35 to where it’s being main stream recommended?

No.

XtoDoubt · 2021-02-19T18:02:30+00:00

What's going on is that more women are chasing fewer alphas, so they stay in the game longer before tapping out for Billy Beta.

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AxxonC · 2021-02-19T18:17:08+00:00

Most young women go to college instead of settling down. So I would say yes.

801735 · 2021-02-19T18:17:47+00:00

Probably not. More like until their late 40s.

But it IS scaring (constantly, as MSM sells and dispenses fear ONLY) chicks to NOT have kids while young and fit for birth.

rivetcitymayor · 2021-02-19T21:52:54+00:00

Where I live they all have kids by 27

2021-02-19T22:38:02+00:00

I tried to find an article with information in regards to childbirth after the age of 35

https://www.verywellfamily.com/what-are-your-chances-of-getting-pregnant-after-35-1959931#fertility-and-age

Sufficient-Ad-3586 · 2021-02-19T23:17:59+00:00

The issue with having kids late that doesn’t get talked about is that people see their parents grow old and die at a young age.

I was 23 when my mom died at 64, my dad is 70, old enough to be my grandpa.

AffectionateFox0 · 2021-02-19T23:25:39+00:00

Entirely depends on location. Where I grew up yes. If you grew up in the Midwest no.

basedmillennial95 · 2021-02-20T01:37:54+00:00

My friend had her first kid at 25. Literally everyone was telling her she was insane and retarded for having kids that early. Now those same people are struggling with infertility because they're trying to have their first kids while they're in their late 30s.

DrPete_Venkman · 2021-02-19T18:22:16+00:00

It's not really encouraging it, but it's definitely not discouragement either. It's mainly "whatever you decide Queen". Birth control just allows for women to get maximum fun out of their 20s before baby rabies finally kicks in, once again exacerbated by social media.

PickleLine · 2021-02-19T19:00:27+00:00

Absence of negative reinforcement can be encouragement. Society could use some shaming of women to settle down sooner.

Title	Is the main stream really encouraging women to wait until their late 30s to have children?
Author	Alarmed-HamsterSpins
Upvotes	5
Comments	74
Date	February 19, 2021 5:49 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/lnlxrs/is_the_main_stream_really_encouraging_women_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/is-the-main-stream-really-encouraging-women-to.743181 https://theredarchive.com/post/743181

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