Having empathy does not mean getting sympathy.

TheBookOfSeil · 2021-02-13T21:16:10+00:00

I get what you're trying to say, but the issue here is that empathy requires a person to be able to put themselves in the shoes of another to feel what that person is experiencing. For most women, this is almost impossible for them to put themselves in the shoes of a lonely, unwanted, sexless man. They have very likely never experienced anything close to what those particular men have experienced, and also very likely never will. They don't know how it feels to walk around feeling unloved and un-cared for - for years on end. The only instances that this happens are during the short periods of a breakup, if that, and maybe during their teenage angsty phases.

The sympathy that is offered in these cases is surface-level because there is no actual empathy. People's problems are their own problems and others don't really care that much what they're going through, and they don't want to be made to feel responsible for it in some way. That's why women push back against these men by saying that it's probably their own fault and "something something personality." Women don't even have to have a personality to attract interest from men, so this is something that is probably the easiest for them to say. The sympathy offered is also the easiest form of sympathy to give - meaningless words.

As far as the gorilla glue lady goes, she did something pretty stupid so she doesn't really deserve much sympathy, while some of these guys' only crimes is existing.

vvvqvvv · 2021-02-13T22:16:55+00:00

I like how some of the males here will shit themselves and demand women care about their sad little penises while also constantly writing disparaging things about women. Eat your cake I guess.

HOLYREGIME · 2021-02-13T21:13:44+00:00

1). Who gets to determine if something is serious and or valid?

2). Another PPD woman stating the exception, not the rule.

3). If you can empathize with someone, you usually have sympathy for them and change takes place

Example: homelessness: A person at one point in time could have been homeless and climbed their way out. This person has empathy for homeless people because they have a shared experience. They often have sympathy for these people and do what they can to make sure change takes place. Drug rehabilitation, affordable housing, etc.

TheJim66 · 2021-02-13T21:31:27+00:00

or realized how stupid they were in the past.

And since they are blue pill, still are...

throw-away-1709 · 2021-02-13T21:27:16+00:00

Don't involve yourself in other peoples problems - live a happy life.

You can have empathy and emotional intelligence - but do not get involved.

You can have sympathy but you do not have to involve even then.

So - neither fat shaming nor sexlesness has to do anything with empathy or sympathy.

Only real health and inner dedication leads to a real good body. Fat people are ugly and out of control. If they can't even control a simple thing like food intake how could you think they can control other aspects in their life? So if you are fat you have to work on yourself and not shame the people who are telling you that you are fat.

Only attraction leads to real fulfilling sex. So if you are in a position that females are not atracted you have to work on yourself not shame the females.

LillthOfBabylon · 2021-02-13T22:58:35+00:00

No one in the fat acceptance movement says you have to be attracted to lizzo. I’ve literally never heard anyone say that in my life aside from ONE time I heard it from ONE trans activist about trans women and she was getting majorly shit on.

Be attracted to whoever you want. But people are allowed to exist in their bodies whether or not those bodies please you. You don’t have to be attracted to them you just have to treat them like anyone else.

Carkudo · 2021-02-13T23:27:24+00:00

I actually think that normal people's empathy completely turns off when considering the problems of sexless men. Pretty much every time I've talked to someone about my experience going sexless my whole adult life, the most striking part was always the way people would completely misrepresent my experiences and the feelings associated with them. It didn't feel like empathy - it felt like erasure until I realized it was probably not intentional. What it is is people consciously trying to imagine what the experience must be like - and projecting that imagination. That's not empathy.

flapperfemmefatale · 2021-02-13T22:13:55+00:00

I gotta disagree. If I don't think someone's problems are serious or valid, that means I don't understand why they're upset.

801735 · 2021-02-13T21:57:46+00:00

EMPATHY - the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.

SYMPATHY - feelings of pity and sorrow for someone else's misfortune.

Ummm. Empathy == perceive/read emotional state, sympathy == understand/be able to put oneself in the position.

I'm sure most women/people understand how it feels to feel ugly and be mocked.

Philosophical/psychological question: Is it an actual experience, or is it just a memory of self-torture with (constantly) imagined scenarios?

women like Lizzo who don't want to be "fat and happy"

Huh? Who? No, wait, irrelevant.

I'm sure most men/people understand how it feels to not have the ideal sex life

Nope. Virgins literally cannot understand that as they don't have ANY reference point from personal experience. Watching pron != having sex experience.

and how it feels to be disappointed that life didn't live up to your expectations.

While true, I'd say it is extremely limited - only the difference between (personally) desired state and (personally) perceived personal state of being.

"One man's trash is another man's new gf."

Another example would be the Gorilla Glue lady.

Pfff fh h h hh h h hh h h h. Darwin never sleeps, huh? lmao Didn't even watch any of the vids I've spotted addressing it. Intentionally avoided the realturdery.

just because a man can understand the feelings of other men, doesn't mean they'll agree on the same topic.

Yup. Also in another setting, having followed a different thought-path on a different (or same) day, it's possible to get (some?) overlap.

Not because they're "simps", but because they dealt with their problems in another way...

Or the same way, but get different results, because a plethora of reasons - environment, "Have you eaten today, dear?", subconscious is processing a different kind of problem, residue from other convos/threads, different childhood memory currently "loaded" into memory, etc etc.

or realized how stupid they were in the past.

You mean improved, epiphany, learned something new, remembered something they already knew but forgot/pushed outside focus,...?

kink008 · 2021-02-14T03:50:01+00:00

the product she looking to replace was literally named "got to be glue" -- i think it is totally reasonable to come to the conclusion that the best alternative to this product would be glue. its not that big of a jump in logic, honestly.

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2021-02-14T19:26:37+00:00

Empathy and/or sympathy in terms of gauging the actions of others is a slippery slope; furthermore conclusions and subsequent decisions can be made erroneously based on a lack of information.

How many examples are there of people who initially engendered empathy and sympathy only to be outed later as people who deserved neither?

I get the impression that some of this discourse is also based on whether we need to care or have feelings for another person in order to make rational decisions as far as they are concerned.

As far as me personally I would value empathy over sympathy in light of how one pursues understanding and knowledge while the other is based in sentimental validation. I can and do pursue empathy of my enemies in order to understand them; at the same time no sympathy for them is required to pursue those ends.

Pontifex_Lucious-II · 2021-02-15T23:43:09+00:00

Neither Empathy nor Sympathy can be applied to groups. They can only be applied to individuals.

JazziestCabbage · 2021-02-16T07:29:51+00:00

For me, as an autist, I know of three types of empathy.

Cognitive empathy - the ability to understand how someone feels, and what they may be thinking

Affective empathy - sharing the feelings of another.

Compassionate empathy - being spontaneously moved into helping the other person if required or able. For me this most commonly occurs when I find a bug that has been half squashed and must be mercy killed. Or if someone is in distress and needs some comfort.

Autistics generally struggle with cognitive empathy, whereas psychopaths have excellent cognitive empathy.

Autistics have good affective empathy, where as psychopaths have poor affective empathy.

You can certainly experience cognitive empathy without the other forms of empathy, but for me personally, I experience affective empathy very easily. If I think of having glue stuck to my hair, the stress of doctor visits and humiliation, I can feel Some suffering. That makes me feel very sorry for the one suffering, even if it was by their own ignorance I still feel that.

Title	Having empathy does not mean getting sympathy.
Author	LillthOfBabylon
Upvotes	17
Comments	183
Date	February 13, 2021 8:44 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/lj8tci/having_empathy_does_not_mean_getting_sympathy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/having-empathy-does-not-mean-getting-sympathy.743890 https://theredarchive.com/post/743890

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