Women are afraid of men being weird/agressive/rapists, but how about men being afraid of other men getting triggered/mad? Can men here relate to that?

wtknight · 2021-05-06T17:47:22+00:00

Removed. No men asking other men or women asking other women questions.

DaBlockObama · 2021-05-06T15:54:49+00:00

I don’t understand how this is a question. You are asking if men ever fear violence from other men? Yeah, like all day every day. That’s really pretty much been the story of mankind so far.

Jujuj07 · 2021-05-06T17:02:41+00:00

This is the reason why a lot of socially anxious introverted girls are still able to go to parties and have a good time and be accepted by the group, while their male counterparts will just suffer if they try to do the same.

Men can see the weakness in other men and they will try to dominate or degrade each other every time a woman enters a room. Some men don't even realize that they are doing it while other guys do it on purpose. It is what it is. I had to cut out som friends because of this bullshit.

NinjaOfTheSouth · 2021-05-06T15:57:43+00:00

Yes we can relate but we just don’t think like this. When we talk to people, we just treat them as a normal people. We only care if we’re talking to a crackhead or something lmao.

Salkinov · 2021-05-06T16:00:52+00:00

I'm usually a very calm person but the type of guy you describe really bring my blood to boil. I think men should try to get along with each other more we are not living in the fucking stone age anymore. I was raised to be a respectful person so i really despise people who try to look down on other people (especially in the situations you describe).

Experiencing such a behaviour helped me to realize i need to grow some bigger balls. Not to become an asshole myself, but to stand up against these type of awful people. I'm working out constantly for a time now and after covid i will probably start with a fighting sport aswell.

However i don't know how to deal with these people on work. Just be competent and quick-witted i guess.

PlayfulLawyer · 2021-05-06T16:04:45+00:00

Well I'm not afraid of any human being, I follow the same advice that I would tell women when it comes to their own self-defense, learn a martial art ( boxing and karate, with a little bit of Judo for me), don't put yourself in dumb situations, carry a weapon of some kind if you must, be aware of your environment and just go on living your life, unfortunately bad things do happen there's some shit just out of your control

GenZedEd · 2021-05-06T16:07:06+00:00

how about men being afraid of other men getting triggered/mad?

I wouldn't say that men are constantly in fear about another man acting aggressively towards them but all men know on a general level that if they engage or communicate with another man in the wrong way there could be a threat of physical escalation. Due to this men generally have unspoken "lines" they don't cross and this kind of baseline respect is a given in most male interactions. Women usually don't have this same understanding and may say or do things completely left-field to a guy because unlike men they don't have this built in "talk shit, get hit" radar.

ex_red_black_piller · 2021-05-06T16:47:48+00:00

Most men I know irl can very quickly assess who the dbag is.

Workplaces are complicated, we can't avoid or maybe even ignore them, but we try and minimize interaction with the true assholes.

90% of the time someone has threatened me physically, It's a load of crap. The rest of the 10%, he's either wasted or I'm in the wrong part of town.

DetectivePure503 · 2021-05-06T16:57:30+00:00

Before the pandemic I worked at a big city night club. Every weekend the security workers had to stop drunk men fist fighting each other and throwing bottles at each other. Sometimes I got involved in heated situations, because aggressive men thought that I was flirting with their gfs when I only showed them the directions to the smoking area (it’s really a big club). They even got mad at me for smiling and talking to their girls, when in reality I was just being a barkeeper nicely asking them what they want to drink. Sometimes I saw that these girls weren’t really their gfs, just some easy going girls dancing near the guys VIP table. Usually they realize that they were shouting at me for no reason when they recognize the clubs logo on the front of my t-shirt and STAFF printed on the back and apologize for acting like stupid gorillas. I also witnessed one time that two strangers were fighting over one girls attention. She came to my bar two times, once with each guy, always getting her drinks paid by the guy. Then a few hours later, a few minutes before we were closing, the dancefloor was getting emptier and I saw that girl drunk dancing all alone when suddenly one of the two guys came in saw her and danced with her. A few minutes later the other guy went to the dance floor too and saw the other two making out. They shoved each other and I called the security. I don’t know whether the girl intended to cause some drama, she left the club drunk without paying anything. But I‘ve really seen guys fighting over less than that. One night it was a pack of cigarettes, it ended with one guy in the hospital and the other guy getting frogmarched by the police. It’s the alcohol and sometimes people let their frustration loose after getting rejected a few times.

Sometimes there were drunk chicks fighting for a VIP table Chad. It’s hilarious how alcohol can flush their selfworth and decency down the drain when they see some prime Chad spending 150€ for a bottle of Wodka. It usually ends with them fighting in the ladies restrooms. Usually they both get kicked out, drunk and crying.

Alcohol reveals the ugly animalistic side of humans sometimes and it’s the men losing control most of the time. But that’s nothing to be afraid of, at least I‘m not. 2-10 people of 500-1000 people a night drunk fighting is nothing I cared about.

randomdudeReborn · 2021-05-06T17:09:25+00:00

I can relate to what you describe, as a man.

Whenever i'm talking to a girl in a social setting and there are other guys around, and she seems more interested in me than the others, i get the feeling of being in grave danger, and just generally feel like i'm getting something i'm unworthy of, and i get the urge of leaving the situation although i obviously would like to continue.

xXx_FireHydrants_xXx · 2021-05-06T15:57:30+00:00

I never think about this like ever, I've only felt uncomfortable walking in dark areas that make scary noises for whatever fucking reason.

sivarias · 2021-05-06T16:02:49+00:00

How fragile are you? How much of your life have you been coddled?

Intra-male competition and bullshittery are a simple fact of life and expressed in most social groups. I'm pushing 30 and my college buddies and I still wrestle, play fight, and compare life achievements whenever we get together.

It provides incentive to DO better in life, and an easy way of getting acknowledgement when you complete a difficult task.

As far as strangers getting butthurt and glaring at you? Let 'em. Their opinions don't matter and 99% of the time they won't even talk to you, let alone pick a fight. Mean looks don't mean shit, because your opinion of me doesn't mean shit.

If they do decide to start something, then they get their ass kicked. Because I know I'm better, and I'm willing to prove it.

Going back to the original point though, the reason its not even close to the same is because there is a much smaller power and strength differential between two men, rather than between a man and a woman.

I've been hit by several women, and several men. Exactly one of those hits from a woman registered as anything resembling pain. Exactly one of those hits from a guy didn't hurt.

If comes down to physical threats, women are much less likely to survive, escape, or win in a physical attack from an angry man than another man would be, even of the same size. So no, its not a fair comparison. And quit wimping out over mean looks, they are just other dude who are too much of a pissant to bother doing anything.

Barneysparky · 2021-05-06T16:33:07+00:00

I was dating a guy of British/Indian descent in the late 90's who had grown up on a plantation in East Africa. Literally had a wet nurse as an infant and the children of his parent's "workers" as friends and his subordinates in the 50s- 60's.

He was a very proper and traditional guy, like dating a member of the royals.

We were in St Louis and took the wrong turn on the freeway, running out of gas and ended up in East St Louis. It was dark, we pulled into a convenience store to ask for directions. Walking into the store there was the clerk in a cage behind the counter, a huge guy with a lot of gold on him.

Behind us, 5 youths walked in. My boyfriend almost shit himself he was so frightened by the situation. Nothing happened except for the youths laughing a bit at his reaction.

The internet tough guys on this thread would in all probability react the same way if outside of their comfort bubble.

The responses remind me of another thread with a guy talking about how South Africa is a safe first-world country.

I wasn't afraid of the youths, as a woman I'm used to that level of threat regardless of what area I am in. In fact I apologized to them for his reaction to their skin colour.

AutoModerator · 2021-05-06T15:50:32+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

reluctantly_red · 2021-05-06T16:03:18+00:00

With all the scared little bunnies (of both sexes) that seem to be out there it's amazing anyone is fucking.

Barely-moral · 2021-05-06T16:06:55+00:00

I am not afraid of other men. I am aware of them. Men's ability to cause harm is something to consider and to take into consideration. It is not something to fear.

XtoDoubt · 2021-05-06T16:09:19+00:00

Men are less neurotic, so we don't fret over it as much, but you bring up a good point. As is typical, the hyperventilating harpies that constitute most of PPD's women will deny it, as stating anything in life that disadvantages men is a big no-no for them.

Aldabruzzo · 2021-05-06T16:22:43+00:00

Not afraid of it. We just deal with it.

When men see or meet other men, we immediately do a split second threat assessment: "threat", "possible threat", or "not a threat". And then we deal with you accordingly.

It's not fear. It's rational thought and gut level sizing up other men. That's all it is.

This isn't really akin to women being catcalled and harassed. The thing men experience that would be akin to women's "mistreatment at men's hands" would be men's mistreatment at women's hands. Nuclear rejections. Shaming. Women's bitchiness and argumentativeness directed at men. Women's aggressive confrontational style with some men.

_lemazaki · 2021-05-06T16:25:41+00:00

This is the usual stuff between men.

Some friends will help you, and you will help them, when there is mutual admiration. Other guys will be jealous and others will walk away. Irrational idiots will attack you. But this competitive spirit is always present in some way, whether in a constructive way or not.

Years ago, I met a friend I hadn't seen in a long time and he said right away, "wtf dude! You are fat as fuck! What a shame! You are not going to fuck anyone like that!" At the time we laughed and talked for a long time ... and when I got home I looked at myself in the mirror and saw that he was right.

StiophanOC · 2021-05-06T16:28:20+00:00

Several times, I've had random men come up to me on a public street and be weird and unprovokedly aggressive with me, a male stranger they've never seen or spoken to before or since.

Every time it happened, I've been standing with a female friend.

Never happened when I'm alone.

If you truly are worried about that, you can't change their behaviour directly, only your own.

Start lifting weights, train in MMA and let the apes be frightened of you from afar.

NPCFactChecker · 2021-05-06T16:29:23+00:00

As someone who frequents the club, all you need to counter this is a tight social circle. This is much more an issue of anxiety than the fear of death, and most scenarios you imagine never really end up happening, even in a real fight. Let the girl choose, if a man escalates then you counter IMMEDIATELY and MAKE SOME NOISE... because these types of men tend to get away with this behavior because they know no one else is watching besides the girl, and have a group with them in the club ready to pounce.

My advice as someone who's been assaulted before on a yacht is to partake in martial arts, make good friends to go out with, and do MMA and BJJ.

Snacksbreak · 2021-05-06T16:31:22+00:00

[deleted]

ToraChan23 · 2021-05-06T16:32:55+00:00

No, because men understand that there is a line you don’t cross as men because there is an underlying threat of violence if that line gets crossed.

That’s why it’s more likely for an argument to remain civil between men for longer than it does between a man and a woman. I know and he knows that we can’t cross a certain line or fists will be thrown.

But that same underlying threat of violence can be liberating too, if you look and actually are capable of defending yourself. You get more respect and better treatment from other men if you look like you could do some damage.

icedhumblepie · 2021-05-06T17:15:32+00:00

I am not at all concerned about other men in competitive mode.

Two things concern me about other men in the sort of bar/club situations you are talking about:

1) If I'm outnumbered and things look like they could go south.

2) Genuinely crazy motherfuckers who have no regards for male code and are just out there looking to fuck someone up. These are the types who are just as happy hitting/stabbing you from behind without warning, and it doesn't matter if you're trained or if you're armed, because you won't see it coming.

Bigbigsby · 2021-05-06T17:34:53+00:00

I’m very aware of this, but I think this can be one of the benefits of working out and learning the basics of fighting. I’m short(ish) but I’m stocky and I’m confident as hell that if I’m fighting for my life I could kill like 60% of guys. This might be a gross overestimation of my own abilities, but my point is I’m aware that mf’s are crazy and I’m ready to fight for my life every time I walk out of my crib.

If I’m in the situation OP described I personally would have had 1 of 2 reactions:

If I judged that I could take him and he probably wasn’t armed I would press him about it and ask him if he had an issue. Most men will back down at the first sign of aggression from other men. The ones that don’t are probably actually about it so be ready to fight if you confront someone.
I’d ignore the ill intent and invite him into the convo so I could demonstrate in real time how much funnier, entertaining, and more social I am than him. I might even leave her with him, go work the room, have other people laughing and smiling & wait for her to come find me again.

Title	Women are afraid of men being weird/agressive/rapists, but how about men being afraid of other men getting triggered/mad? Can men here relate to that?
Author	FuuraKafu
Upvotes	2
Comments	48
Date	May 6, 2021 3:50 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/n6ael2/women_are_afraid_of_men_being/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-are-afraid-of-men-being.758714 https://theredarchive.com/post/758714

Comments