Found on a dating app sub— “how freakin cool would it be if men just farted on me all of the time? 😍😍😍”

Papaverinum · 2021-04-02T22:04:41+00:00

Has anyone noticed how "have sex" is waaay earlier than "I love you" in this sick "timeline" of author's?

GIfuckingJane · 2021-04-02T20:31:17+00:00

Gross, WTF?

zorra666 · 2021-04-02T22:44:50+00:00

All of my American boyfriends thought that farting loud and close to me was hilarious even though I was openly disgusted. They also wanted me to peg them. I tried once (this was a looooooong time ago) but he had poop literally smeared around his asshole. Never again.

Since living abroad, I can happily report that, while the men I've dated have still been pornsick LVMs, they aren't farting in front of me and are much, much more hygienic.

Farts smell because of bacteria. I don't want a man's ass bacteria anywhere near me.

I am, however, forgiving, if one slips out while laughing. Nobody is perfect (including me🤭).

Eliseruk · 2021-04-02T22:42:14+00:00

Ugh, my ex at first (until he started spending 30-40 minutes in the bathroom with the door locked playing a game or probably watching porn at some point), had no problem taking a crap while I was in there. I thought it was disgusting, but was super insecure pick-me, who just assumed this meant closeness between us. I never said a word beyond, "I don't think I'd be able to do that."

I'd sometimes spend a lot of time sitting there on my period just to bleed out a heavy flow, and and one time he'd wandered in for something and I told him omg dude there's so much look, and he responded something like, "you know it's gross right?"

This dude said nothing when I had my period during sex, nothing about using the bathroom in front of me, or when he wouldn't even bother to move to pass gas so the air wouldn't fucking hit my skin. But looking at my period blood in the toilet was gross? Now I don't think I'll feel compelled to tell someone to look at my period blood, but dissonance is so frustrating. I should've told him how gross I thought he was and not hold back.

thinktwiceorelse · 2021-04-02T21:25:15+00:00

I don't fart in front of anyone, why should men be the exception?

wordy_fries · 2021-04-02T22:03:46+00:00

I'm nauseous! This honestly triggers me to pieces. LVM ex used to always do this to me, in my presence and on my face. I would tell him to stop it, he would laugh at me and continue. I never once did it to him. This is disgusting and controlling behavior. Why would anyone be ok with smelling someone else's farts?? WTF. I don't want that anywhere near me. Cool girls and LVMs should just date each other, so that high standards people would be left alone.

Is this an American thing also? Because in my culture, farting around others is a nasty behavior but when I came to U.S. people would always make farting jokes 🤣 I don't find it funny at all. Scrote humor.

pickmieshaexorcist · 2021-04-02T22:01:07+00:00

So I kind of had this yearning after my divorce. Uh, not the farting part, but the desperation to just skip straight to the comfy secure love part. But this was massively unhealthy and I had a lot of unprocessed grief re: the end of my marriage. It made me a terrible pickme.

heroic_nincompoop · 2021-04-02T20:43:44+00:00

My parents have been married for over 30 years and if my dad ever passed gas in my mom’s presence, she’d tear him a new one. That is so disgusting and disrespectful. People who brag about doing it in front of their partners make me 🤢

fashiong99 · 2021-04-02T21:25:56+00:00

I would be so turned off by it, bathrooms exist, freaking excuse yourself to the bathroom

Weremaid · 2021-04-02T23:24:19+00:00

[deleted]

gibgerbabymummy · 2021-04-03T00:46:07+00:00

My sister and husband laughed about shitting with the door open to continue a convo in the hallway and said I was a prude when I said that was disgusting. They had never even shared a one bathroom household. If my husband farted for a joke at me, I'd smack him with a raw salmon.

Nice_Pass2393 · 2021-04-03T01:11:00+00:00

Another reason I'm in no hurry to cohabitate

christmasforoutlaws · 2021-04-02T20:46:44+00:00

It's a fetish

Watzoo · 2021-04-03T04:14:45+00:00

I don’t know that this is a male thing so much as a (in the US anyway) social class differentiator. Toilet humor doesn’t fly well in all circles and men who’ve been raised in or acclimated to some of them will know that and act accordingly. Men who find this charming will find women who feel the same - and they may be decent partners for each other otherwise.

It’s gross and not my thing, but I know some very loving and supportive marriages of decades that would find this hilarious. 🤷🏼‍♀️

_tinyimp · 2021-04-04T06:54:28+00:00

I really can’t stand this. It makes me think of how men will treat their gf like a bro and do all this gross stuff and be rude as a joke but then when other girls pass them by they act like a perfect gentleman. Or is this just a me problem? 😒

AnastasiaRomani · 2021-04-03T05:34:50+00:00

This is so confusing. I don't even use this kind of language. I say "pass gass," but I go upstairs to the privacy of my loo and close the door to say it. ;)

Title	Found on a dating app sub— “how freakin cool would it be if men just farted on me all of the time? 😍😍😍”
Author	Weremaid
Upvotes	181
Comments	45
Date	April 2, 2021 5:14 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/mios9e/found_on_a_dating_app_sub_how_freakin_cool_would/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/found-on-a-dating-app-sub-how-freakin-cool-would.765590 https://theredarchive.com/post/765590

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