Gift back?

motioncaptureF · 2021-07-27T14:47:53+00:00

I wouldn't

vowelsareimportant · 2021-07-27T15:26:42+00:00

Gifts are gifts. He gets to keep them.

I'd think you'd probably consider it low value if he asked for things back he'd bought for you. If any ex asked me for anything he'd given freely, I'd say no.

v0ta_p0r_m0ta · 2021-07-27T15:16:42+00:00

I wouldn’t ask for them back. An ex of mine asked for a few pieces of jewelry back when I had broken up with him and all i thought was ‘Damn I thought you gave them to me, not Loaned them to me.’ So did you loan the items or gift them.

saint-jezebel · 2021-07-27T15:30:35+00:00

Charge it to the game and don’t do it again.

ferociouslycurious · 2021-07-27T15:46:05+00:00

No. It’s very beneficial to let everything go. Consider it an educational cost and congratulate yourself for graduating!

top_of_the_stairs · 2021-07-27T15:30:03+00:00

Oh God no. And I place any gifts he ever gave me into a hefty bag, tie it up, & walk it out to the trash.

....I love that little walk ☺️

IAteTheDragon · 2021-07-27T16:17:40+00:00

No, I wouldn't take them back. I think an adult quality person takes responsibility for their decisions, which in this case is giving a gift. I can actually expect/imagine a NVM pulling this so doing it myself wouldn't make me thik of myself very highly🤔

dollymyfolly · 2021-07-27T16:18:46+00:00

No, you gifted them. Take the lesson to never give to LVM as your gift from life.

catlady4u · 2021-07-27T15:22:25+00:00

No, cut your losses

Technical_Moth248 · 2021-07-27T15:51:21+00:00

I personally would not unless the gift is still in your home or wasn't officially given. I let my ex keep everything I got for him outside of a copy of Fallout: New Vegas that I still had in my house. He threw a fit over it because "But you said you'd let me have it 😢😔" and I was just like "Idk but you never took it before this so you're not taking it now lmao sorry you cheated I guess"

Br0ther-Finger · 2021-07-27T16:39:59+00:00

You don’t take back gifts. You ain’t never seen Judy Judy?

mashibeans · 2021-07-27T16:29:21+00:00

Nope. It's simply because you're allowing a venue to keep contact, and that's the last thing you want with a LVM/NVM.

And like others said, gifts are gifts, they aren't given with strings attached or conditions, you gave them back then because you cared. There's nothing wrong with that sentiment, the one who betrayed all of that was the LVM.

And think about it this way: if he's so shameless and cared so little about you that he's totally A-Ok with wearing that stuff, that says far more about him than anyone else. I personally wouldn't keep around stuff an ex gave me, because I'd have real feelings and can't easily disassociate them from the object. He doesn't even see those gifts as gestures of your love and care, just as things he felt entitled to.

You can always make more money, and the money lost in those gifts is just that, money lost. However, if you attempt to keep the contact open and try to get your stuff back, that's even more time you're wasting on him that you'll never get back.

Fatt3stAveng3r · 2021-07-27T17:24:07+00:00

Absolutely not. That's childish and honestly just says that you want to make contact with him again.

azulalalala · 2021-07-27T15:51:09+00:00

No, just cut your losses and go. Gifts are gifts, bad decisions have been made, lessons have been learnt.

Trust me your mental health will thank you for not contacting him. You need peace and quiet not more drama.

Aocwannabe · 2021-07-27T15:04:56+00:00

If it’s easy to get your stuff back, get it back. But if it’s not, it may create further trauma for you so let it go but hope that bad things happen to him.😬🤣😎

Seriously though, it is okay to be angry and you do not have to wish a person well who has been hurtful and disrespectful to you. You especially do NOT have to “forgive and forget”.

These banalities are thrown around (mostly by cultural appropriaters) as mystic Eastern knowledge but people frequently ignore the contexts that the monks dispensing this knowledge are hermits that have opted out of having to live and deal with the reality of humans and the trash behavior of many humans.

fireforestfairy · 2021-07-27T16:32:28+00:00

Don't do it. You'll end up interacting with the guy more and that's not what you want. Many scrotes have zero empathy and never feel guilty, so chances are the guy will gaslight you and refuse to give you back the gifts. He can easily refuse to do that by claiming how he lost all the gifts and you can do nothing about it. Let sleeping dogs lie and just move on.

relationship_reddit · 2021-07-27T16:46:49+00:00

No. When you give someone a gift, it is expected that it will be theirs forever, even if you get mad at them. I'm a fan of a little bit of pettiness from time to time, but that's just too petty in my opinion.

miloba_ · 2021-07-27T16:50:58+00:00

I haven’t and I wouldn’t. Call it an expensive learning moment, hold your head high, and cut him off for good. Don’t invite any opportunity for him to talk to you further after the breakup. Don’t buy expensive gifts for men that are not your SO and not until he has shown himself to be HV.

peaches88888 · 2021-07-27T14:49:20+00:00

Take everything back. Once I took shoes and a hoodie back that I bought for my ex for his birthday. No shame.

LR_today · 2021-07-27T15:15:27+00:00

Why not? If you can easily get the stuff back, do it. You won't be seeing him again so get everything and bounce.

NiBBasBeCrazy · 2021-07-27T15:17:42+00:00

Go and get your stuff back or have a friend pick them up. Whatever you do, don’t fuck him!

Title	Gift back?
Author	loverluxlace
Upvotes	36
Comments	26
Date	July 27, 2021 2:41 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/oso4n9/gift_back/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/gift-back.794835 https://theredarchive.com/post/794835

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