My parents divorced when I was a kid. My mom had me on weekdays while dad had me on weekends. She had over half custody. My mom turned out to be very controlling and strict. Say one bad word? She washed my mouth with soap. Didn't want to wear certain dolled up clothes? Too bad, because she forced me to. She occasionally yanked my ponytail to get my attention if I was distracted. Not to mention she wouldn't let me have a laptop or cell phone at all when I was under 18 because she believes modern technology is "toxic". My dad is my hero (so is his wife, my stepmom). They helped me mentally get through all the bs I dealt with at my mom's house. They got me a cell phone and laptop as a high school graduation present. They never punished me harsh when I misbehaved. They let me wear what I wanted. They never yanked my hair when I wasn't listening. My dad was brave enough to buy me emergency pads and tampons before. My mom never did.

Even now, I'm in college and my dad and his wife are rooting for me whereas my mom (who was a college dropout) told me its a waste of time. It's a shame that my dad was never granted full custody despite how my mother acted towards me. I get counseling services through my college because of how depressed I get on occasion. I know for a fact, if it wasn't for my dad in my life, I would be a complete wreck by now. I also know for a fact that had my dad had full custody while growing up, I'd be less depressed than I am now. I was recently diagnosed with PTSD by a doctor. I have occasional nightmares of my mother. I can't believe courts don't even see this stuff.

I also know a few single young single dad's (friends from back in high school) who are trying for full custody because the mom either drinks too much, or goes out all the time with her friends and dumps the kids at the grandparents house, or has a history of DUI'S, etc. But these friends are having difficulty getting full custody. One of them is having to spend his entire college savings just to fight the battle. I think the courts should be less biased and focus more on the situation, not the gender.

EDIT: wow, thanks for the reddit rewards! I've never received them before. It's been an interesting discussion with everyone here. I got a call this morning from my dad. College classes just started. He's gonna help me move into my apartment! And he reminded me how much he loves me (like he always does). Hooray for dads! ❤☺️👨‍👧