[videos] Guy in /r/videos cites study claiming men are more prone to be victims of domestic abuse then women. Gets bashed because it's one single study. /u/thedevguy cites studies, references, reviews and investigations supporting the claim.

[–]Tmomp 172 points173 points174 points 11 years ago (147 children) | Copy Link

From one comment in that thread

This is anecdotal, but in my relationship (I'm the guy), my female SO has on a few occasions open-palm hit me in the chest in the midst of an argument and once threw something at me. I've never touched her in a fight. At the same time, I've never felt threatened by her because I know that, though I'm not a big guy, it wouldn't be much of a contest if we really went toe-to-toe.

Mrs. Bobbit didn't go toe-to-toe. Neither did the British woman who poured boiling water on her sleeping husband. No one goes toe-to-toe with someone they can't beat. You can instead wait until they're sleeping, they call the cops to use as a weapon, threaten to lie to authorities, and other things like that.

Brute strength is a tiny weapon for abusing an intimate partner. Lack of it is hardly an impediment to someone who feels justified in hurting someone stronger, especially with the privilege of a government predisposed to help you at the others' expense.

[–]ARedthorn 72 points73 points74 points 11 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link

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Samuel Colt:

Samuel Colt (July 19, 1814 – January 10, 1862) was an American inventor and industrialist from Hartford, Connecticut. He founded Colt's Patent Fire-Arms Manufacturing Company (today, Colt's Manufacturing Company), and made the mass production of the revolver commercially viable.

Colt's first two business ventures — producing firearms in Paterson, New Jersey, and making underwater mines — ended in disappointment. But his business expanded rapidly after 1847, when the Texas Rangers ordered 1,000 revolvers during the American war with Mexico. During the American Civil War, his factory in Hartford supplied firearms only to the North and not to the South. Later, his firearms were prominent during the settling of the western frontier. Colt died in 1862 as one of the wealthiest men in America.

Colt's manufacturing methods were at the forefront of the Industrial Revolution. His use of interchangeable parts helped him become one of the first to exploit the assembly line. Moreover, his innovative use of art, celebrity endorsements and corporate gifts to promote his wares made him a pioneer in the fields of advertising, product placement and mass marketing.

Image ⁱ

^Interesting: ^Armsmear ^| ^Samuel ^P. ^Colt ^| ^Elizabeth ^Jarvis ^Colt

^Parent ^commenter ^can ^toggle ^NSFW ^or ^delete^. ^Will ^also ^delete ^on ^comment ^score ^of ^-1 ^or ^less. ^| ^FAQs ^| ^Mods ^| ^Magic ^Words

[–]zer0t3ch 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

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This is exactly what happened to my cousin. He was murdered by his wife during the night as he slept. She had bought a gun without his knowledge and shot him during the night. They lived very close to my aunt and uncle (his parents) and visited them often so they could see their grand kids (they had 3). There was a large age gap between my mother and uncle (we were closer in age to my cousin's kids than him) and we'd visit them probably at least once a month (this was about 20 years ago) since they only lived about 30-40 miles away. At no time did we or my uncle and aunt ever see any signs of abuse to either of them.

The night he was killed was the only time there were any signs of abuse to her, and that may have been caused by him suddenly reacting to the gunshot and sitting up/striking out at his attacker. She was taken to court and of course found not guilty (his mother was from Samoa and he was built like one) so of course this big man must've been violent.

Luckily for the kids, my aunt and uncle sued for custody and won. I don't know the exact reasons why they were awarded custody (I was around 16 at the time so didn't pay much attention) but it helped them move past some of the grief. I don't know what happened to her since then, but she can rot.

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[–]PM_ME_NICE_THOUGHTS 8 points9 points10 points 11 years ago* (19 children) | Copy Link

[–]Wargame4life -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (18 children) | Copy Link

[–]PM_ME_NICE_THOUGHTS 4 points5 points6 points 11 years ago* (17 children) | Copy Link

You:

press hot buttons in a mild mannered way that seems innocuous to a 3rd party

Wikipedia:

Gaslighting or gas-lighting is a form of mental abuse in which information is twisted or spun, selectively omitted to favor the abuser, or false information is presented with the intent of making victims doubt their own memory, perception, and sanity.[1][2] Instances may range simply from the denial by an abuser that previous abusive incidents ever occurred, up to the staging of bizarre events by the abuser with the intention of disorienting the victim.

If someone is actually getting abused they won't need to gaslight the perpetrator into abusing them. Ya dig?

Edit: this line:

its entirely factually contextually true.

has me in stitches. You are entirely factually wrong, and contextually ridiculous.

Edit: you also advise to premeditate several felonies. Are you writing this from prison? I can't imagine someone as deluded as you being anywhere but prison on a life sentence.

[–]RichardRogers 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]PM_ME_NICE_THOUGHTS 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Wargame4life -5 points-4 points-3 points 11 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link

[–]PM_ME_NICE_THOUGHTS 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link

2) set up hidden cameras or use cell phone discreetly

Federal crime in some jurisdictions.

3) press hot buttons in a mild mannered way that seems innocuous to a 3rd party . i.e dont raise voice appear calm and weak, but talk about the subjects or issues that you know will garner a violent response

Yup. Gaslighting.

6) do it again on the final day wait for her to strike you then hit her full power in the jaw (remember you are consolidating those 3 strikes she gave you into one juicy package ,and call the police/ambulance)

Premeditated assault.

8) provide video you "forgot about" watch her get charged for perjury a serious crime. (lying to court) if it gets that far (dont forget failing to mention something may harm your defence, so you need to justify rationally not discovering the video right away)

Perjury?

11) repeat on any fucker who thinks they can hit you and be violent when you are non violent

Hypocritically violent and in stage 1000 denial.

the "Justice" is the pain and suffering you inflict by breaking her jaw, you are allowed one massive strike. in retaliation to stop the threat.

so the harder you punch the better (or learn how to use elbows)

Because you're completely wrong about self defense here's a good definition. I've put the relevant parts in bold.

The protection of one's person or property against some injury attempted by another. Self-defense is a defense to certain criminal charges as well as to some civil claims. Under both Criminal Law and Tort Law, self-defense is commonly asserted in cases of Homicide, Assault and Battery, and other crimes involving the attempted use of violence against an individual. Statutory and case law governing self-defense is generally the same in tort and criminal law. A person claiming self-defense must prove at trial that the self-defense was justified. Generally a person may use reasonable force when it appears reasonably necessary to prevent an impending injury.** A person using force in self-defense should use only so much force as is required to repel the attack.** Nondeadly force can be used to repel either a nondeadly attack or a deadly attack. Deadly Force may be used to fend off an attacker who is using deadly force but may not be used to repel an attacker who is not using deadly force. In some cases, before using force that is likely to cause death or serious bodily harm to the aggressor, a person who is under attack should attempt to retreat or escape, but only if an exit is reasonably possible. Courts have held, however, that a person is not required to flee from his own home, the fenced ground surrounding the home, his place of business, or his automobile. A person who is the initial aggressor in a physical encounter may be able to claim self-defense if the tables turn in the course of the fight. Generally a person who was the aggressor may use nondeadly force if the victim resumes fighting after the original fight ended. If the original aggressor attacked with nondeadly force and was met with deadly force in return, the aggressor may respond with deadly force.

In other words unless you're being beat upon you do not have a legal justification for self defense. Being slapped once does not justify you punching them in the face.

Edit: looks like mensrights has spoken and they are a bunch of whining wannabe victims, this "solution" brings an abuser to task as you so often complain they dont through either the courts or "stigma" this solution addresses all these issues, but you are either too gutless or like wallowing in victimhood to apply justice.

You're actually advising people to commit a crime. Which is in and of itself a crime.

Edit2 :: if you want to see how genuinely pathetic you lot are replace, "violent girlfriend" in the solution with "Violent male housemate" and read all your comments, simply pathetic and also sexist (how ironic), you guys are really fucking idiots,

In this case no.

[–]Wargame4life -2 points-1 points0 points 11 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

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[–]CrazyPaws 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

My law enforcement class paints a very different picture. The fact is you had the foresight to record the encounter that means you had the foresight to avoid it. Putting yourself in harms way so you can attack someone when they present a danger is not self defence. The very fact that you had recorded the incident could be used against you. Not only that self defence is not only that you attack back buy the level of force you use to do so. So if she pushes you in the chest to claim self defence you would need to prove that you were cornered and justify the use of forced you use. In other words you can't shoot someone because they chest bump you. You can only justify using force needed to ensure your safety. Can you say that your girlfriend pushing you in the chest could ONLY be stopped by punching her in the face as hard as you can? You couldn't have left the room? Was she blocking the way? If so could you have reasonably pushed her aside to make room? And if I can argue premeditated action you can sure as shit assume the courts system will as well. Now here is the part when you scream and rage about how right you are and how wrong I am. What ill say to you then is go head then do it and see how well your judge Judy law knowledge holds up. Or you could keep talking shit on the internet and showcasing your incredible lack of understanding. My guess is you'll do the latter.

[–]Wargame4life -4 points-3 points-2 points 11 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

My law enforcement class paints a very different picture.

the fact you think your "law enforcement class is world wide in all context speaks volumes, if someone did a "law enforcement class" in iran does that mean its applicable in australia? no it doesn't.

ok lets play logic 101

The fact is you had the foresight to record the encounter that means you had the foresight to avoid it.

which also logically follows that if someone assaults you repeatedly you have the foresight to avoid it, and hence you must consent to the beating (under your logic) since by your rational the "path of least resistance" is the only correct one?

presumably if I walk down the street as a black man and a bunch of KKK dressed hooligans walk down the street on a march and they strike me and i punch them back, i am fault too am i since i would have had the "foresight" to not just go down that street and just "run away".

The very fact that you had recorded the incident could be used against you.

not for the purposes of capturing a crime. (and certainly not in my country)

self defence is not only that you attack back buy the level of force you use to do so.

hence the one punch only, any more its not reasonable force (assume the one punch stops her) more than one punch you are going to jail, but if the camera shows you hitting once running and then calling the police you are fine.

So if she pushes you in the chest to claim self defence you would need to prove that you were cornered and justify the use of forced you use.

well this is symantics from what i wrote i dont consider a "push" a strike, a strike is either a punch or kick or hard slap (not jokey slap), if someone i know pushes me i wouldn't strike them, if i stranger did i would be more inclined to (based on context)

What ill say to you then is go head then do it

I would if i had an abusive girlfriend but every girl i am with or have ever been with is sweet and nice and knows i could knock the crap out of them if they ever got violent with me, as do most guys, hence i have no violence from friends or partners at all other than in the ring.

oh also i dont date gutter trash, i date nice women

but documenting your abuse is absolutely easily defensible "i was scared you wouldnt believe me, so i had to get a collection of proof to stop her twisting this"

and

"I didnt want to respond but I just couldnt cope with being beaten again, and there was nothing i could do so i stopped her as quickly as i could and ran and called the police as you see in the video"

[–]CrazyPaws 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]Wargame4life -4 points-3 points-2 points 11 years ago* (6 children) | Copy Link

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[–]Wargame4life -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

well as much value as a US police officers input is on legal matters it has as much impact as my respect for their entrance criteria.

let me show you a worked example.

my claim is "i started documenting the abuse because i was afraid i wouldn't be believed and was preparing to end the relationship and was worried what she might do, so was protecting myself from any false allegations"

"i struck her in self defence because i just couldnt cope with being hit any more, so stopped it and ran to the police"

now use your special police powers to show that this is a premeditated trap in light of the evidence.

good luck with that columbo, the courts have objective evidence of a woman abusing a non violent partner who "cracks" and then defends himself, you you think you can build a case that puts him in the clink. so what evidence to you have to support it was a premeditated plan of action?

go ahead take as much time as you like, whatever your police "Gut" might tell you, objective evidence builds a case and you have none and i have loads of mutually supporting videos.

do your worst! come one what do you have?

[+]Wargame4life -6 points-5 points-4 points 11 years ago (16 children) | Copy Link

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[–]Peter_Principle_ 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link

Police and prosecutors can ignore evidence if they feel like it. The cops can go Duluth on you and decide to just arrest you, or they can arrest you both if that's how they're feeling on that particular night. The prosecutor might have a bug up her ass about DV and give you the Mike Nifong treatment. If they can get their hands on your evidence, they might "lose" it. Cops might decide to testify, either in court or to the prosecutor, that you "confessed" to them.

So there's at least some chance you're going to trial. Are you absolutely positive that you're going to get jurors with no pussy-pass attitude, no white knights, angry feminists with an axe to grind? "Mr. Wargame, what did the police say when you called them to intervene in this domestic violence you supposedly were enduring? What did the hospital say when you sought treatment for your grevious injuries? Oh, you didn't contact the police? You didn't seek treatment?" It might be bullshit, but there are going to be at least some jurors who will eat that up and end up wanting to hang you.

And maybe you're found "not guilty". Yay. How much did it cost you? I suspect you're getting off lucky if it only ran you five grand. How long were you in jail before you made bail? Who were you around while you were in there? How badly did the guards or other inmates abuse you when they found out why you were in there?

Oh, bonus points, now you have to worry about whether or not she's going to sue you in civil court for medical expenses and "mental anguish".

Are you rich enough to spend money like that when you could just as easily avoid it? "You can beat the rap, but you can't beat the ride."

[–]Wargame4life 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

This is why i am glad not subjected to shitty US justice which is anything but justice, nor shittty US courts or Shitty US cops.

but either way good lawyers make it all good.

your "advice" is simply fucking retarded especially coming from law enforcement, you are effectively telling me "don't trust in the justice system" so if you are resolute in seeking justice you perhaps recommend taking it into your own hands? and don't get caught, or roll over and just hope the same crooked system you are telling me is geared and biased against me will make everything just.

you are a fucking idiot, i should "trust in the justice system to give me justice because doing it "My way" makes you subject to the justice system which is biased and geared against me"

some stellar logic there sonny, if you are resolute about actually seeking justice and seeing your abuser punished in accordance to their crime, you shouldnt trust the justice system because its faulty and biased and geared against you, instead you should trust the justice system to sort it out"

that is how idiotic you are.

[–]Peter_Principle_ 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]Wargame4life -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

doctors are not free from incompetence or even murderers, some are serial killers, still it would be a massively idiotic moron to think they cant use or subject themselves to doctors because it isnt "free from it"

yes one of my boxing colleagues is a lawyer, but its nothing radical.

what you morons cant understand is that you are assessing it with a 11 step guide infront of you, if you were in a jury and the evidence was presented as it would be by two strangers you would agree the same as everyone else.

guy simply defended himself after being repeatedly subject to real abuse.

and Just FYI that is actually what fucking happened you morons.

so many dipshits here cant understand that capturing people abusing you is not the same as asking them to abuse you.

just fucking unbelievable stupidity

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[–]berserkerrage 4 points5 points6 points 11 years ago* (21 children) | Copy Link

Look, I'm no princess. I'm pointing out that maybe you got away with it once. The situation you describe sounds like you were dealing with a drunk asshole. Yeah they arrested the drunk guy over you. It wouldn't surprise me if you knew the staff there.

Seriously, if you find giving someone a black eye, a bloody nose, then choking a dude out over a "tap" to the chest an appropriate level of force. You got anger issues that seriously need to be examined and I'd easily present you as a person that will lose control and kill someone.

I've been in your shoes. I've been arrested being the guy you're stating for people to be here.

You say that the women in your life respect you as an equal, because you're upfront about being trained and that you won't take their shit. Please, they're scared of you. You try that against a woman and you will be arrested without a thought in those cops minds.

Honestly, you just come off like a thug who will lose control and is looking for an excuse to use your training against another person.

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[–]FinleytheHuman 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

Sounds like you would just be looking for a reason to punch her as hard as you could. For pushing you? Yeah man, even with video you'd be done for. Put it like this boss, unless she's about to seriously harm you or someone else....keep your hands to yourself. By all means record her abusing you, and submit that. Punching in the face is not going to help you. At all. Unless you're about to be seriously harmed or killed, it's just not smart to do that. If you want to go to court with this, why would you do anything that would look negative on you.

Either way, you're way too convinced you are right to the point where any other opinion has you "utterly disgusted" but you got it dude. Assault some female and see what happens because she "pushed you in the chest three times" Got it. Maybe a third grade class can write you letters to your jail cell or something.

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Nicely done. You're right oh wise one. Still stuck on the word change?

Once again, if she is striking you with her fist, STOP HER. If your life is at risk then I could justify a punch. But your scenario of setting up cameras on three occasions with the intent of knocking her out shows. 1. You aren't in threat of losing your life (or you would've done the normal thing and left). 2. You are premeditating attacking your SO while purposely provoking her to hit you. (If you poke the tiger don't be surprised when it kills you). 3. Yes she is abusing you, which isn't cool. Neither is the only result you can fathom is punching her.

You are a fucking moron. And you would be arrested in your stupid as fuck solution.

So I'll repeat If she is STRIKING YOU WITH NOTHING BUT HER FIST...,man your pansy ass up and stop her from harming you. Record it! By all means record the abuse, no one argues with that. But if you are recording her to justify you knocking her out, then you're in the wrong.

I'm not a fucking moron because I don't agree with you bud.

There's never one fix all solution to everything, I don't know what world you think you live in, but it's not like that.

[–]Wargame4life -2 points-1 points0 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

i cant be bothered to address all teh nonsense in your comment so ill highlight the dumbest part

You are premeditating attacking your SO while purposely provoking her to hit you. (If you poke the tiger don't be surprised when it kills you)

oh jesus christ you are so stupid its almost criminal.

1) if someone hits or abuses me because i say the word bucket and i say the word bucket i am not a provoking an attack you fucking moron.

2) "if you poke a tiger dont be surprised when it kills you" is applicable to the abuser you fucking retard and you are aguing against that being true,

i.e on one hand you claim "(If you poke the tiger don't be surprised when it kills you)." and on the other you are claiming upon being abused i am not to retaliate and arguing against not doing it.

jesus christ you invalidate your own argument.

"If you poke the tiger don't be surprised when it kills you" is applicable to the abuser yet you are trying to argue against it also.

you are very much a moron

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I honestly don't understand the question. I gave the example of how this was something I shouldn't have done, but because of my experience, I made a bad decision based on my sexual biases. I don't know if it helps to clarify that this event occurred 16 years ago when I was 15 years old. As far as any internalized sexism, I'm simply observing that at the time it had not even occurred to me that this was wrong. My point is that it was absolutely misandry but not conscious. I had an image of what domestic abuse was via movies, tv, PSAs, what I'd personally been told and it shaped my view at the time.

I just googled the word and this was the definition of internalized misandry I got from Wikipedia. I'm not a male:

Internalized misandry, then, is the act of identifying as a man and discriminating against oneself and one's masculinity

[–]Tedesche 3 points4 points5 points 11 years ago (16 children) | Copy Link

You're right. /u/wanked_in_space is mistaken about the term "internalized misogyny," I think. Internalized sexism (whether misogyny or misandry) refers specifically to sexism by a person towards their own gender.

Props for admitting all of this here, by the way. It's very uplifting to hear women express sympathy for men here, so thank you for that. I don't know how much you know about discrimination against men, but I encourage you to learn more if you're new to the topic.

I'm a bit of a contrarian, so I tend to speak out against examples of misogyny when I see it here, and encourage male commenters to empathize with women more, when relevant. I also comment a lot on /r/twoxchromosomes (/r/feminism banned me after one comment asserting that Feminism was only concerned with women, and wasn't with men). None of us are going to get anywhere with gender discrimination if men and women don't start supporting each other. Currently, a lot of men support women's rights, but women don't seem even very aware that men are victimized too. That seems like it may be changing though—men's issues and victimization are becoming more noticed by the media, so hopefully things will be a tad more equal in the future.

I'm sorry about your family trouble, by the way. I work as a therapist, so I deal with domestic violence and its repercussions a lot. Most of the men I treat don't even realize they've been abused, and are confused/skeptical when I point it out to them. Also, most of the time, in my experience, DV is actually bi-directional. I can count on one hand the number of cases I've seen wherein only one partner was abusing the other. It's such a depressing problem, because most of the time, it's the children in a family that are harmed without harming back. They almost always suffer from DV, even when they're not the direct target of it.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

My dad was very emotionally abusive and manipulative, but he wasn't physical. I just thought it didn't count. Fortunately, my dad took off and he wasn't arrested or anything.

I was also banned from r/feminism even thought I'm a bisexual liberal Mexican loud-mouthed woman, who believes strongly in equal rights and I definitely consider myself a feminist. I think it was because I have posted in r/theredpill, because I like learning about people especially who are different than me. Feminism is about equal rights, keyword equal. I'm not an SJW, and just because of their dismissive and condescending perversions I'm not going to let them define my beliefs. I completely agree that in order to attain equality, I think men's rights makes just as much sense to me as supporting women's rights. One can't ask for equality without losing the perks that come along with the oppression. I also feel that either cause is lost without acknowledging the other. I have some major concerns with the bias against men regarding child support, divorce, custody etc. For example, I don't understand why a woman can have an abortion, but the man has no choice as to whether he financially responsible for the child. I'm pro-choice but a man should be able to decline responsibility for a child he doesn't want.

I promise to keep spreading the good word to the people I know. :)

[–]Tedesche 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

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[–]Tedesche 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

I agree with your first paragraph, but not your second. Feminists do label anyone who criticizes them or their ideas misogynists, but that does not mean real misogyny does not exist. People tend to forget that misogyny isn't just a quality some comments can have, but also a mindset a person can unconsciously subscribe to. A person could give an entire speech, and not say a single thing that could objectively be labeled misogynistic, but if you look at the speech as a whole, the bias becomes clear. Feminists sometimes do make explicitly misandrist comments, but the far more toxic misandry comes in much more subtle forms. Recasting issues of systemic discrimination against men as problems with the Patriarchy, for example, is misandrist, because it implicitly (as opposed to explicitly) blames men for their own victimization. But is is much harder to criticize, because the misandry is far less obvious. MRAs like to maintain that there's very little misogyny on /r/mensrights, but if you look at the comments as a whole, I think it's very clear there's a bias present—one that causes MRAs to dismiss women's perspectives and only favor men's. For example, there's a post out right now on the Tyler Kost case. The majority of commenters are clearly presuming he's innocent, when that is actually not at all clear yet. They're not saying anything explicitly misogynistic in their comments, but their assumption that the female accusers are all lying is clearly misogynistic. If you look for it, you can see that sort of bias all over this sub.

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[–]Tedesche 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

Many people on TwoX are assuming he is guilty. Does that make them misandrists?

Yes.

Furthermore, we are supposed to assume someone is not guilty until proven otherwise. It is the basis of our justice system.

There's a big difference between refusing to convict a person for an alleged crime without proof of his guilt and having a prejudicial presumption that his accusers are malicious liars. "Innocent until proven guilty" simply means a person should not be convicted without sufficient evidence and a fair trial—not that one should approach a case with a prejudicial mindset that favors the accused. I can't believe I even have to explain that, quite frankly. If this were an entirely different case about some guy that the State was prosecuting for murder, and you knew very little about the facts, because the trial hadn't started yet, would you be talking about how he ought to sue the shit out of the government for falsely accusing him of a crime and ruining his life? No—you'd be reserving judgment, and waiting for the facts to come out. That's what "innocent until proven guilty" means, not "HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE HIM, YOU VILE, LYING, SLANDEROUS—oh, wait, that's some good evidence, my bad."

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I think there are multiple issues here. First, I think women do not receive the same "don't hit people" training that guys do because of our beliefs about men and women (whether we like it or not, most people are sexist). Because men are more naturally aggressive, they get more training in not being aggressive. Without that training, violence is more likely to be tolerated.

Regarding the equality point, I think women tend to overestimate how well men treat each other. Being treated the same can often mean being treated worse than they expected. For example, the requests for "safe spaces" are a reaction to the volatile world of free-for-all male-style argument. Places like reddit or 4chan that are mostly deregulated appeal to men, whereas women want to put rules in place to protect people and find those same places less appealing.

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[–]Philarete 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

My apologies for lack of clarity. I'm trying to stick to standard definitions, so violence means something like "behavior involving physical force intended to hurt, damage, or kill someone or something." and aggression "hostile or violent behavior or attitudes toward another; readiness to attack or confront." I'm specifically focusing on the second part for aggression, i.e. readiness to attack or confront.

You are right to make such a distinction. Being aggressive, especially in the willingness to confront, can be the right thing to do. I personally can't think of a time undirected violence would be right.

I think people are taught to be less aggressive (e.g. avoiding confrontation so you don't hurt people's feeling) for the same reason, to minimize violence. I'll have to think more about what you said, though. Absolutely agree on the instruction point. I don't think that instruction is bad, either; in our day of guns (the great equalizers) I actually think girls should be taught more on acceptable vs. unacceptable uses of force. Not necessarily the same level of emphasis as guys get, but more than they get currently.

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You know, I have no idea how long you've been a mod here, but ugh... I'd love to get your own opinion about this:

"MensRights: Home subreddit for a misogynist hate group. Celebrates rapists, abusers, murderers, and hateful creeps in general. Has hosted doxxes. Helped organize a mass submission of false rape reports to drown out actual victims and make a reporting feature that would have helped many (including men!) and hurt absolutely no one impossible to actually maintain. Is notorious for welcoming feminists to debate and then banning them for actually debating, allowing criminally toxic comments to stay, and downvoting any remotely reasonable comments. Also regularly upvotes racist, homophobic, and transphobic bullshit with not even the slightest connection to men or their supposed rights (to be assholes, apparently)."

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[–]Imnotmrabut 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Dear Redditor - you and many others are wilfully ignorant of The Worlds Largest Ever DV Study, published 2013

PASK: The world's largest domestic violence research data base, 2,657 pages, with summaries of 1,700 peer-reviewed studies.

In this unprecedented undertaking, a total of 42 scholars and 70 research assistants at 20 universities and research institutions spent two years or more researching their topics and writing the results.

All conclusions, including the extent to which the research evidence supports or undermines current theories, are based strictly on the data collected.

http://www.domesticviolenceresearch.org/

Partner Abuse, New Directions in Research, Intervention, and Policy EDITORS: John Hamel, LCSW, ISSN: 19466560, eISSN: 19466579 http://www.springerpub.com/journals/partner-abuse.html

Perpetration

Overall, 25.3% of individuals have perpetrated IPV
Rates of female-perpetrated violence higher than male-perpetrated (28.3% vs. 21.6%)
Wide range in perpetration rates: 1.0% to 61.6% for males; 2.4% to 68.9% for women,
Range of findings due to variety of samples and operational definitions of PV

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