Do I need a lawyer?

33649 · 2021-11-29T05:29:24+00:00

Dude, if I was making that much I would hire an entire law firm.

Vpicone · 2021-11-29T05:46:29+00:00

[permanently deleted]

wafflepress86 · 2021-11-29T06:15:05+00:00

I have a buddy kind of the same as you, that makes $200K as a Enterprise apps engineer. He was Married for about 2 years, no kids, he had a house before the marriage. His now ex-wife was making about $80k at the time and during the divorce, she claimed he verbally abused her (I know him, it was not him it was her) in the 2 years and that is why she did not Advance her career.

She got $4K a month for 3 years out of it. And he had to pay all the debt about $30K in credit cards. And the car he bought her during the marriage she got to keep and he had to pay it off $25K.

So I would say yes I would at least talk with a lawyer.

HelixFish · 2021-11-29T05:44:11+00:00

Is she asking for anything? It can be a simple split the stuff you got while together and sign papers. You can do this via mediator for cheap and it will be done right.

H20WATCHER · 2021-11-29T19:37:18+00:00

Lawyer. Always lawyer up. Minds change, especially when the paper is in front of them. Lawyer up so you don't have to deal with the BS, lawyer does it for you.

Nerd4daKash · 2021-11-29T06:42:55+00:00

Just consult with a lawyer. Consultation maybe free or very low cost. I dont think she can go after your assets., but this is a reddit comment from and IT guy, not an attorney.

Just make an appointment and good luck. This is probably the best thing that ever happened to you. (no kids, getting out of it un scractched)

Creative-Drop1816 · 2021-11-29T21:27:21+00:00

Get a lawyer, you make to much to gamble with. The attorney fees will feel like a Swedish message compared to what could happen if she blind sides you with an attorney.

I am divorced myself and have several buddies that are divorced. Very different circumstances for us. We have kids and average of 12 years of marriage under our belts. Out of all the of them only one couple was able to get all the way through it without an attorney.

At some point an impasse is usually met and it gets ugly. If you can calmly sit down and draft something up you can try and see what you come up with. If she is able to care for herself and isn't wanting anything from you I would highly suggest offering to pay for an attorney to draft the divorce and to sit down with both of you.

This will give you the peace of mind that you are not getting taken advantage of and she will not have to shell out for her own attorney.

(Sidenote: sit down with your attorney first to let them know what the plan is. Attorneys are notorious for having their minds made up on how things are going to go and they may offer up something that is unnecessary due to the norms they deal with in the court system) Seriously I can't stress this enough as a man. We are completely taken advantage of in the courts system. We are treated like its still the 40's and women's are incapable of taking care of themselves.

Good luck my guy

Bipolar_investor · 2021-11-29T21:57:55+00:00

She may even lure you into having sex and getting pregnant. Careful

Chip512 · 2021-11-30T02:15:52+00:00

Get an attorney. Get the divorce done as quickly as possible (don’t give anything away, just keep it moving). Keep your discussions with your attorney short and to the point (they charge by the hour) however realize that you may have some long tasks (my mediation session was 9 hours and worth every dollar).

kemo74 · 2021-11-29T08:02:29+00:00

Just so you know, she's got another dude.

There's not alot to fight over here, but with the bullish stock market over the past year the gains on your 401k over that time are half hers and vice versa, so there's some exposure there for you technically since your balance is higher. I wouldn't bring that up and just go with "You keep yours, I keep mine".

In a similar situation to yours I was able to file uncontested divorce documentation and work the process without an attorney in Texas. But if she balks at all, you'll probably need to retain an attorney.

a-little-spice · 2021-11-29T12:33:00+00:00

Do it don’t tell her you are but go spend the money for council.

patently_pleasant · 2021-11-29T13:48:35+00:00

Hey man, I went the night lawyer route and it worked well for me, but keep this in mind. I was 25 at the time while in my last year of law school and my wife was finishing her last year of her masters. We had been married less than a year with no kids when she already found the next “lucky” guy.

The key here is whether she is willing to work with you. We both just agreed to take what we owned before the marriage, no alimony, and I agreed to take on the last 6 months of a lease to finish it off. Totally worth it to not hire a lawyer. If she is willing to just take her debt and split things 50-50 while waiving alimony then the no-lawyer option may be possible for you. Depends if you two can still work together.

With that being said, I couldn’t afford an attorney at the time so I was kinda forced into it. If I could, I would have just hired one for the peace of mind in case she pulled some shit. I was very lucky she didn’t. If I were you, I would do as much as you can with your stbxw before handing it over for an attorney to double check. You have the money. It’s worth it for the peace of mind.

Ebon13 · 2021-11-29T14:11:54+00:00

Always get representation! Even if you plan to file everything yourself, have a lawyer on retainer to look over the paperwork.

thefudmaster · 2021-11-29T15:54:36+00:00

Get a good lawyer to draft the paperwork and they will also help you avoid any pitfalls. If she moved out, depending on your state, you may be entitled to the home due to her constructive desertion.

pharmd718 · 2021-11-29T17:41:51+00:00

Yes! Absolutely get a lawyer. You don’t know what you don’t know. And if she does not file….YOU DO IT!

strangerthaaang · 2021-11-29T17:52:34+00:00

Get a lawyer.

derelictherds · 2021-11-29T18:43:32+00:00

Sounds pretty straightforward, but I'd still consult with a lawyer as a CYA and then have them review paperwork before signing. Don't tell the wife you're doing this.

DoctorVonBacon · 2021-11-30T03:11:26+00:00

Depends. Do you want to pay now? Or be paying forever?

Title	Do I need a lawyer?
Author	Vpicone
Upvotes	13
Comments	39
Date	November 29, 2021 5:18 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/r4oavo/do_i_need_a_lawyer/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/do-i-need-a-lawyer.1085992 https://theredarchive.com/post/1085992

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