Please, will this community knock some goddamn sense into me. I just posted the other day asking how does it feel to be with a new woman after divorce. You’d think I was in a good spot to be thinking like that.

But, yesterday and today I’ve sobbed about this whole thing. I keep thinking of her in the past, who she was and what we had. I was sitting at my desk yesterday and an image of her in her wedding dress popped in my head and I immediately started crying like a baby. That was 19 years ago, we were together for 22 years.

With a lot of introspection these last 2 months I was clearly codependent and my identity and happiness was tied to being her husband. I was so attached to her that I keep falling into the trap of just wanting it to go back to how it was and who she was.

But she is not that person anymore and that is clear. I know I’m romanticizing the past and I’m still in love with who she was but who she is now honestly turns me off.

I talked to a good friend today because he shoots it straight and I told him to let me have it. He’s spot on that I should not even be thinking about her the way she disrespected me these last few months and downright cruel with how she treated me and the shit she said to me. I could sense his frustration that I was crying again and he said I’m acting like a high schooler. He’s right and I needed to hear that. FFS I’m 52, successful, great shape, principled, honest, always faithful and all that. Why, why am I simping for her?

It’s like I’m fighting myself to move forward and let go because if I do then it means it’s really over. Jesus, she moved out 2 weeks ago, of course it’s over.

Crushed ego and self esteem from being walked out on, there was no infidelity, because she has changed and needs to focus on her happiness, is really hindering me from even seeing myself as others see me. All I hear from my friends is you’re a great guy, have so much to offer, don’t get so down on yourself but it comes across as empty words.

So, I am asking the great men of this forum to tell me to get my balls back and take charge of my life again. You guys also shoot it straight and I have leaned on this forum to help my healing with your insight, knowledge and support. Here’s another guy asking one more time to help inspire me to be my best so I can go back out and conquer this bullshit divorce and take on the world.