Is marriage dead ?

TheNattyJew · 2026-06-05T00:58:50+00:00

When the lower earning spouse can earn cash and prizes for breaking the contract, marriage is untenable unless you are the lower earner

Il_Valentino · 2026-06-05T00:36:34+00:00

the purpose is to give economic security to women such that they feel more inclined to get pregnant and raise children. without marriage this would be too risky in a modern capitalistic economy. the men get a family and gamble it will work out.

so unless you are REALLY desperate for children you shouldn't marry.

for comparison: traditional marriage is about creating durable bonds between men and women to ensure kids are raised and to build a sogial safety net.

Rare_Psychology_8853 · 2026-06-04T23:43:00+00:00

The purpose of marriage to me is to unify a family under one name, culture, and set of values. My marriage went very well for about 7 years before entering a rocky couple of years which led me here to seek the perspective of men (we are still married and are on the mend but it was very hard for about 1 year). While it was going very well, we were aligned on all things. Because of this, we were a powerful team. We were able to build our financial foundation, buy multiple properties, and bring 3 children into the world. We raise our children with strong values, which is not possible when one parent thinks one way and the other thinks the opposite. Our children have stability in the home and receive consistent discipline from parents who are on the same page, and are emotionally healthy and well behaved. One of our children is profoundly disabled and I am grateful for my marriage, because I don’t think either of us are strong enough individually to handle our disabled child. Our kids are counting on us to work as a team and to be strong in our union.

In my opinion if you’re going to have children, you have a moral obligation to do everything you can to give them a happy home. Things happen, but getting divorced for trivial bullshit when you have children to raise is an act of selfishness. Society used to agree with that. Now people are proud of their divorces. I find that weird. Divorce is not a good thing. It’s the end of a union that was meant to be forever. I’m not saying that if you get divorced you should have to beat yourself up about it or hide in shame. But women who have divorce parties, or talk about how divorce was the best thing they’ve ever done, seem fucked.

Bush_M_aster · 2026-06-04T23:41:39+00:00

I've never met a miserable bachelor, mind you I said "miserable" not unhappy

Wolfjak · 2026-06-04T23:21:36+00:00

Marriage has undergone drastic changes in the last 50 years. What used to be a life-long commitment, unbreakable barring the most severe circumstances, has been relegislated into something entirely new thanks to the lobbying efforts of radical feminists and the divorce industry. In trying to make divorce “fail-safe” for homemaker or lower-earner spouses, the bad ones included, society has made marriage “unsafe” for virtually everyone else.

Marriage was a worthy goal for a man about 50 years ago. Today, not so much. Some things changed in our culture: legalized abortion, no-fault divorce, domestic violence laws and the concept of marital rape. The changes themselves were not wrong, except the principal benefactor of these changes are modern women.

And modern women have a sense of entitlement that is not possible to satisfy. They expect to have it all - and they are being told that they should have it all - that their whim and feelings are most important. Somehow they expect to juggle a marriage, career, parenting and social life with no hassle - and when it doesn't work, the husband is the first to suffer. We live in a world where arguing with your wife is considered emotional abuse, telling her that she is spending too much is being a control freak, and wanting regular sex is misogyny. These same women cannot cook, clean or handle the kids without stressing out, but we men are expected to make it better.

Women are taking advantage of men in every way possible, and the government is enforcing this scrupulous behavior. To sum the current circumstance: women have choices, men have responsibilities. Marriage only benefits women. Men accept all of the risk. Marriage amounts to a no-win struggle of mutually assured disappointment.

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband, while a man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. – Charles Schwab

Marriage today has the potential to be the most damaging decision a man can make in his life – it’s a legal extortion scheme. You’re betting a woman half your net worth that you’ll love each other forever. Marriage is handing a woman an axe, then putting your head on a chopping block in the trust that she won’t cut it off. It’s not reciprocal. The modern state of matrimony has become the legal equivalent of gambling. Getting married is like betting half your stuff she won’t cheat on you. No matter what she contributed, or did not contribute to the marriage, half of your stuff is hers. If you are not married, she has no claim on your assets, nor you on hers. That fact alone makes rejecting marriage the smartest financial move a man can make, and lets you avoid career slavery. Marriage used to be a business and social partnership for the accumulation and conservation of wealth and the raising of children. Now marriage is the new retirement pension for modern women, rewarding them for breaking a contract. A woman that won’t take your name in a marriage will gladly take your house in a divorce. You can get the same effect of marriage by selling your house, giving all your money away and have someone castrate you. There is no incentive for men to get married. Society has stacked the deck against men in modern marriage.

Whoever invented marriage was creepy as hell. Like I love you so much I’m gonna get the government involved so you can’t leave. – Jim Carrey

crzapy · 2026-06-04T23:09:47+00:00

I dunno man.

I think so.

I'm sitting here and my kids just went back to their mom's house and I was doing pretty good.

But now everything just feels empty. There are no summer family activities to look forward to. Just an empty house, or me taking them somewhere.

I have a girlfriend, and I like her, but I'm not in love. I dunno if I can fall in love again.

I no longer believe in love or marriage. I was working towards building something better for my family. Now my family unit is broken and I no longer have a purpose.

What's worse is my best friend died this year, and all my other friends disappeared with the divorce. So I'm pretty sure the only thing that is constant is me.

I feel like that song. I am a rock, I am an island.

steak-raspberry · 2026-06-04T22:53:31+00:00

I probably would only get married again if I ever trust a woman enough to. I have abandonment and trust issues since my separation and impending divorce.

Wis84682 · 2026-06-04T22:08:00+00:00

I think only benefits to marriage are tax reasons and if you need your souse to have health insurance. But both of those items are not worth it.

federally · 2026-06-04T22:01:59+00:00

What's dead is my ability to choose a good spouse

Past-Score-2582 · 2026-06-04T21:54:38+00:00

It seems Like it

MonkeyBranchBuster · 2026-06-04T21:49:16+00:00

Just find a woman that hates you and buy her a house.

Effective_Sir_6406 · 2026-06-04T21:49:03+00:00

Or maybe we should bring in marriage levels? You get married, you're at level 1, after 5 years you move to level 2, after 10 years level 3. At each level, there are slightly different rules around divorcing, and who get what etc.

Effective_Sir_6406 · 2026-06-04T21:47:37+00:00

Yeah I totally agree. I almost feel like these days marriage should be a 5 or 10 year contract and then, at the end of that 10 years, if both parties dont want to "renew" then it should be easier to end things. I also think that there should be mandatory basic prenuptials, in some situations it would avoid a lot of issues.

We also need to stop glorifying marriage so much like it's some "sacred" cow. I am going through a divorce at the moment and I had a lot of people saying that it's really important to make it work, and that marriage is really important but not one of them took the time to ask me if I am happy and fulfilled.

It seems there are still a lot of people that think you should be married and miserable than happy and free.

Dr_Venkman_ · 2026-06-04T21:45:37+00:00

Ah yup

Motor-Hat-3061 · 2026-06-04T21:44:01+00:00

Marriage is death. Love and loyalty are lie$.

realvvk · 2026-06-04T21:32:13+00:00

Depending on the country, there are significant legal and tax benefits. I would be paying 30% lower federal income tax just by the virtue of different tax brackets in the US. On top of it, I would benefit from increased deductions and tax credits, significant tax advantages when withdrawing from retirement accounts, much better tax treatment of my fringe benefits.

Legal protections one loses when living together with someone without being married are significant. For example, your spouse may not be made to testify against you in court.

Ok-Cause1108 · 2026-06-04T21:13:16+00:00

Marriage allows you to fully anchor into your partner. When both partners are anchored in this is where the synergy occurs.....1+1=3. Without that commitment each partner has one foot out the door and does not fully show up in the relationship. What you have is just a glorified FWB situation.

Obviously if you are spiritual then marriage is on a whole other level IF you have an equally yolked partner.

As always it comes down to how well you vet your partner. If you share the same values, you both contribute financially and domestically in equal amounts, then marriage is all upside. If you vet poorly then it is going to end badly for you.

hertuition · 2026-06-04T21:11:12+00:00

Well idk about everyone else, but for me personally, marriage allowed me to fulfill my greatest dream of becoming a husband and father. And then divorce subsequently forced me to live the hell of never getting to see my child and barely getting to talk to her for the rest of my life. Ruining me financially in a way I can never crawl out of. Honestly want to kill myself everyday, but I'm too much of a coward to even do that. So I pray everyday for death.

ToxicElitist · 2026-06-04T20:56:37+00:00

No purpose for marriage but having a partner is nice. If you can find that one that provides a place of peace in exchange for a feeling of safety.

You don't want one you have to support. You want one that is cool with you staying up to do whatever with your guy friends if you want and doesn't make you feel guilty about it

Or lets you lay on the couch and scratch your head after a long day of work.

Or lets you make her dinner and doesn't instantly criticize the meal.

One that doesn't do a ton of social media. And get stuck in this constant competition with other women.

One that can actually take accountability and apologize when she's wrong.

None of these things require marriage.

Heck if you find a real deal woman she is cool not being married because she doesn't care about that rat race and spending money on something so insane.

There is literally no reason to get married. At all except younger women think. It's what is supposed to happen and have gotten men to think they need to do this to prove they love them.

UrAristotle · 2026-06-04T20:46:07+00:00

I could see some situations where people who are starting families benefit from marriage as it relates to raising kids. It makes so many things related to them easier.

At my age (56), I cannot think of anything I gain from a marriage. I can also promise that I will insist that my children have pre-nups.

Odd-Yoghurt1869 · 2026-06-04T20:36:33+00:00

Marriage is a bad deal for a man.

But we need each other and society has made it that divorce destroys men and families with no consequence to the person who initiates the divorce. It's stupid.

Have kids out of a surrogate and get a step mom (don't let her adopt) and no one can take your kids from you.

Shoddy_Classic_350 · 2026-06-04T20:34:40+00:00

Tax rates and discounts on auto insurance. It makes inter-partner settlement of estates easier. Health insurance benefits can be shared. One partner can work 1099 and write off many shared expenses.

Icy-Friendship1163 · 2026-06-04T20:23:09+00:00

Social pressure .

No-Succotash6237 · 2026-06-04T20:21:21+00:00

It is for the young wise men of today. It only made sense when the quality in women was higher.

I have 2 girlfriends that provide the same experience as being married.

I’d only marry a virgin, without the state involved at this point.

dystinct · 2026-06-04T20:19:01+00:00

For the same reasons it has always been. Having a partner, sharing experiences, tax breaks, etc.

I was married for 18 years and I don’t regret any of it regardless of the outcome. Would I marry again? Absolutely.

Title	Is marriage dead ?
Author	go2wolf
Upvotes	29
Comments	34
Date	June 4, 2026 8:12 PM UTC (1 month ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1twz47w/is_marriage_dead/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/is-marriage-dead.1582087 https://theredarchive.com/post/1582087

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