Kids met ex new partner

TheBoyBand · 2023-07-04T06:28:45+00:00

You can’t control it. PERIOD! and fkn listennnnnn to the countless men who will tell you the same here. Focus on YOU, your relationship with your kids and thats the FKN.BTTM.LINE!

Edit: It’s what made me spiral, and it wasn’t the best outcome, so im not just talking out of my ass.

bopapocolypse · 2023-07-04T11:22:27+00:00

I understand your frustration. But you have zero control over this situation. You’re letting something that you can’t influence eat you alive. I’m not saying that you need to be happy about it. But you are letting her choices dictate your feelings and emotions. That’s not a good position to be in. She’s going to do what she’s going to do. The question is, what are you doing? How are you improving your life and the lives of your kids? That’s where your focus should be.

No-Exit6560 · 2023-07-04T11:39:26+00:00

Accept the things you cannot change.

This is something that you have no control over and it doesn’t matter how you feel, it won’t make any difference.

Just focus on being the best dad you can be and having a positive relationship with your kids.

WorriedDrumSoloist · 2023-07-04T13:20:53+00:00

If she’s been with him for two years, introducing the kids…especially “as a friend”…is entirely reasonable.

I get that it sucks, but there’s nothing you can do about it and frankly, at this point, why would you even want to? If she left you for trash, then she wasn’t a good partner to begin with. Laugh behind their backs at how miserable they’ll make each other, and move on.

Hockystr32 · 2023-07-04T10:54:54+00:00

Give your kids some credit on being able to sniff out the rodent side of the chump. Never bad mouth or show any of these feelings/emotions around your kids. It's pretty easy if you think about it without emotion. If you rock as a dad and set the bar he's the one in shit. You can only pray he is a decent man around the kids and in that case you have to set emotions aside and thank God they arnt around toxicity 50% of the time.

Lumptbuttcat · 2023-07-04T13:05:42+00:00

Be a great dad. That’s all that counts. Kids only need one “rock” to cling to and that has to be you. It’s your ex’s choice to be an idiot. Kid’s will always love her. That’s guaranteed. Will they ever respect her? Likely not.

Brilliant-Delay1410 · 2023-07-04T13:51:54+00:00

Thanks for comments. I totally agree that the best thing to do is move on.

It just sucks as she has said all along that she is not interested in having kids meet any new partner.

Then she just drops this at midnight last night.

It will be very hard moving forward. Especially as the kids get older. And if I have to hear about the new guy. He has a boat for example, and you know they will be out on it this summer, living it up.

Things are amicable. No issues. I owe the ex 60 odd k. That is on a flimsy promissory note that her lawyer told her not to agree to.

If I wanted to raise hell, it could go really badly. I just have to rise above. Be as good s father as I can.

I have read of guys dealing with kids actually meeting affair partners. How do you cope with that?

relationshiptossoutt · 2023-07-04T14:55:22+00:00

I love how most of the comments say the same thing. You’ve got to find a way to stop worrying about things you can’t control. That’s part of divorce. She goes off and lives the way she wants, and you do too.

My ex is sort of chaotic and weird. She’s not malicious or mean, but she’s short-sighted and makes the worst decisions most of the time.

She’s continued the insanity she’s always had in divorce, telling our kids she’s pansexual and details about dating women between me and her boyfriend. My kids were about the same ages as yours. I thought they were too young for all that information but ultimately, they knew it and I couldn’t do anything about it. My goal is just to be the stable, boring house. My kids know what to expect here. It’ll likely just be me, and we’ll have fun together, and enjoy our time. I don’t bring others into my relationship with kids.

It took me some time, but I’ve finally reframed her bad decisions as opportunity for me to be a better man, teach the kids how “normal” relationships work, and disconnect from letting her craziness impact me.

Therapy helps. Good luck.

Classic_Dill · 2023-07-04T17:05:42+00:00

Yep, my wife basically did the same thing, right as we were separated, she got a boyfriend, who was about 16 years younger, and almost immediately started introducing him to my kids, I can only put together, and she never took the time to research herself or relationships and has absolutely no idea how I’m classy and uncouth. It is to do this to kids when you yourself hardly know the person you’re dating. The sad thing is, she’s not my daughter, believing that this is normal behavior, and that I am not normal, because I date, but I don’t have any relationships. My ex-wife is basically grooming, my daughter to be a smaller fucked up version of her, I need to change this as soon as possible, I have to make sure my daughter has boundaries and rules and understands she can’t just do whatever she wants, it’s been very difficult. Your ex has absolutely no class.

xjeeperx · 2023-07-04T20:51:14+00:00

My ex moved in someone that was previously a co-worker almost immediately. It bothered me at first, but then I decided I wasn’t sure which one of them was more pathetic. He got fired for not coming to work a couple of year prior and from what I could tell he just took up residence there for about 8 months. Now he’s gone..go figure.

Weary_Landscape_7098 · 2023-07-04T22:44:15+00:00

She does care about my feelings and worries about my I mental health.

hahhhahhahahahah bullshit

captainchippsixx · 2023-07-04T11:32:13+00:00

She started this before divorce. She is a liar and a cheater. Do they still Work together? I would call the owner etc and say nice ethics you have in your company.

jimsmythee · 2023-07-04T19:14:28+00:00

This is where you go no-contact or low-contact for the sake of your mental health.

Certain-Line-6351 · 2023-07-05T04:00:50+00:00

My wife got with her affair partner weeks after we separated. Now she says they’re official. But they’re scared to post anything.

I said.

“Oh, why because now everyone will know you’re with your affair partner. You’re a cheater an he has no problem fucking someone else’s wife.”

“I can’t imagine why you’d keep it a secrete”.

BlackAnvilEgo42 · 2023-07-09T17:38:29+00:00

Literally nobody is going to like me saying this, but if you really want the dude gone, hire a private investigator and scrutinize everything he does. Report him to every agency you can, report him to the corporate of your old work... Basically you make yourself a burden so large that your ex isnt worth the trouble. And you are justified in doing so because the rat fuck shouldn't have access to your children or any influence over their upbringing. Your kids are statistically highly likely to be abused by this man in some form, which seems to be in line with his nature. I'm a large fan of spontaneous to face conversations because you can speak your piece without it coming back to haunt you with witnesses or recordings. Learn how to speak of consequences without them appearing to be threats. You can say whatever you want to this dude until he asks you to discontinue contact, you're within your rights to absolutely verbally destroy the guy as long as there are no credible or verifiable threats. He can try to take you to court, where any credible judge will tell him he made his bed. Nobody made him shack up with a divorcee, and nobody can make you be civil with him. You have the right to free speech right up until you're asked to desist, so If he's the piece of trash you say he is, push him until he outs himself to everyone else. You are under no obligation to take prisoners or preserve feelings. Do what makes you feel justified within the letter of the law, that's where the real healing is my man.

Title	Kids met ex new partner
Author	Brilliant-Delay1410
Upvotes	18
Comments	33
Date	July 4, 2023 5:14 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/14q5nxv/kids_met_ex_new_partner/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/kids-met-ex-new-partner.1224328 https://theredarchive.com/post/1224328

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