Wife suddenly left me Oct 2024 after a 30yr marriage. Divorce finalized toward end of 2025... 2025 was the absolute worst emotional hell of my life and didn't know if I was going to survive. 2026 has been a lot better but no serious interest in pursuing any dating until recently. 

I have plenty of challenges now that this interests me for the first time since my early 20's... The biggest one is the reason for this post and that is attraction, in relation to my age after turning 55 this year... I spent roughly 28 of those 30 married years not being physically attracted to my wife... The physical attraction level was ok (but not great) in the early years (we were both 24 when we got married). The overall whole person attraction was what really sealed the deal for me, because we got on so well etc... She had our first kid when we were 26, then the added 50+ pregnancy pounds never came back off again, other than an occasional short term loss of ten or so pounds here and there... 

I made the best of it and was loyal/faithful and attracted to her as a whole person etc so would never have told a soul any of this if she hadn't dumped me. Once the marriage was over I felt a firm resolve in my being that I will never be with another woman again I am not fully physically attracted to... 

I know I am decently attractive and fit and healthy for my age, but it is still a lot of age! There was something about turning 55 that feels like I've officially graduated into the old folks category... I've had a couple women show some interest that I had to not engage because the physical attraction level was not there enough, and I just can't do that again... I am well aware this is not an age to be so picky but I can't help it! 

So just really wondering if this means that it's just not going to ever happen for me... Honestly I'm ok with it if that's the case. I'd rather be alone than with someone ever again who I don't even want to look at her face sometimes... That was so hard! I am actually relieved that I don't ever have to do that ever again. We'd be out to eat and she always wanted to sit face to face so we could talk, and we'd have these great conversations while I'd be looking around at the wall next to her etc so I didn't have to look at her face that I wasn't enjoying physically. Has anybody else ever had to do this? I feel like a monster but honestly did my very best to deal with it lovingly. Fortunately it wasn't always that bad but there were times when it was so hard.

I live in a planned community and work from home and hardly ever see anyone around especially never see eligible females.. I walk my dog most mornings on the community trail and there is an attractive woman I see about once a week on average that I really want to approach, but she seems reserved and doesn't look up until the last second as we pass each other quickly... I've been trying so hard to get up the nerve to introduce myself or say something more than hello.. She is very attractive and prob in her early 40's...  I don't know how she doesn't have a ring on her finger and has been walking alone every time I've seen her these past six months or so... She doesn't show signs of interest but still gotta shoot my shot somehow, right?