I’ve been up since about 4am thinking about things. It was a rough day yesterday. Not only was it our anniversary but neighbours also threw a block party. It was difficult being in a social setting like that with her.

I decided not to avoid it and mope around the house though. Had a few drinks and told all neighbours straight up that our house will be on the market soon because we’re separating.

Things felt somewhat normal which was strange. We sat next to each other chatting and joking around. Saying things like “happy anniversary but fuck you”. I offered a one-time anniversary deal of sex. Haha. Stupid I know. She laughed and said I’ll make a woman very happy someday.

I don’t want to be with her really. I know it’s for the best but I wish things worked out differently for our family. I’m alone in bed early on a Sunday morning and not only do I miss that intimacy but just the bond of having a partner to share everything with.