Sometimes I think others just don’t get it

Mountain_Collar_7620 · 2024-02-03T18:05:13+00:00

All lessons worth learning are paid for in blood, money and time. One doesn’t simply pass “GO” collect Enlightenment, one has to go a full lap through Mordor. Or, sometimes, Two or Three. 💍

saygrace2 · 2024-02-01T01:20:07+00:00

He’s in the denial stage of grief. I learned that reconciliation is just a bandaid and that the true feelings and intentions will rear its ugly head in due time

xosto · 2024-01-31T11:03:21+00:00

The good guys getting dumped here really believe the vows meant something.

They don't. Women are going to do whatever feels good in the moment.

Life gets boring. Divorce and dating opens up a chance at a refresh. Just like throwing out old clothes and getting new ones.

It can only happen once or twice unless they're especially lucky. Most men will get divorced by a woman first in their 20s, if they married young, then I their 40s, and then 60s. At least that's what I've seen. A relationship only lasts 10-15 years before it dies.

People who stay married do so unhappily and the woman has some strong motivation to stick around. In my parents case, it was the social stigma and financial insecurity. Nowadays men have to constantly be the best option for their women. That means taking care of yourself and being better than the woman you marry. If you can't maintain a sphere of superiority over her such that she admires you, then you end up doing what toxic men do and maintain it by fear (violence) or through sympathy (needy behavior). The 2nd option gets you arrested. The 3rd option gets you dumped eventually.

Winter_Cattle_2133 · 2024-01-30T19:36:42+00:00

"She filed papers"

Yeah he's toast. He'll figure that out eventually. for whatever reason even though she initiated it I knew it was over when she left. I was standing in my Moms kitchen two days after the fact and like a lightning bolt it hit me "I'm never going to see her again". And I didn't. Papers didn't get filed for like 10 months. But my radar knew it was over. She even sent a text around my bday "hey if you get things worked out in the future reach out to me". Well funny...because my life was doing pretty well until you nuked it with a divorce ! I didn't say that though. I just said...no, you wanted this. If anyone reaches out in the future it'll have to be you.

Dudes have got to understand she'll keep you in her back pocket as long as you let her. This seems especially true for dudes with kids. As it gets the guy to go above and beyond in the co-parenting duties to make the ex wife's mommy job easier

Sweaty_Ad_9820 · 2024-01-31T00:24:26+00:00

Yea I knew my divorce was a guarantee. I on one hand tought it would be worth it to compromise/ sacrafice to keep the family together. She was just a selfish person. No compromise period. Only thing she could say is will your mom take the dog. See you next tuesday. BIA!

New-Amoeba9042 · 2024-01-30T21:17:42+00:00

They never come back, but we think like men, so we don’t understand why it’s not possible for them to come back

rsmiley77 · 2024-01-30T18:44:01+00:00

It sucks even worse because we know the likelihood is that she’s already moved on and is probably already getting it from some other guy… meanwhile he thinks he’s gonna be back.

SkeptiCynical · 2024-01-30T18:28:06+00:00

Check in with your friend over the next couple of months. He's going to need some help.

If she's filed, that means he has a court appearance coming up. Let him know that's his opportunity to ask for assistance from the court if he can't afford representation himself.

No matter what happens, do what you can to make sure he's not going through this alone.

guy_n_cognito_tu · 2024-01-30T18:16:42+00:00

I feel for guys like that. It's great to have hope and all, but once she's thrown you out and filed, it's over. Oh, she'll tell you it's not over, hoping to keep you on the hook emotionally so she can take advantage of you in the property settlement. He's hoping he figures this out before he signs anything.

berniefl44 · 2024-01-30T18:13:09+00:00

I feel him. I went on vacation for 2 weeks overseas and she called me on the phone and said I have news for you , she even said do you want the news now while you are on vacation or when you get back. I said now. She said I’m divorcing you and all your stuff will be in your car and I’ve changed all the locks on the house. .how true it was when I got to the airport she drove my car there and her mother was in the car behind her. She dropped it off at the arrivals and didn’t even look at me. The rage in her eyes was something from a bad movie..she even told me that the kids didn’t see her put all my stuff in my car..not sure about that one though.. 6 year old and 15 year old …..go figure

Capable_Luck_2817 · 2024-01-30T18:10:28+00:00

People watch too many movies. Reconciliation isn’t really a thing.

Title	Sometimes I think others just don’t get it
Author	jasoncb123
Upvotes	31
Comments	23
Date	January 30, 2024 6:02 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1aeuskx/sometimes_i_think_others_just_dont_get_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/sometimes-i-think-others-just-dont-get-it.1244183 https://theredarchive.com/post/1244183

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