It has taken divorce for me to understand women. I think every man should first admit this. If you are divorced, you probably cannot yet comprehend how this could happen to you. Some may never learn and repeat the mistakes over and over.

So get to the point, what did I learn?

The most important thing I have learned is that when women say " I love you ", it is basically meaningless. Too harsh? Well I bet your male " I love you " is drastically different from hers. How so? When you told her I love you... you sincerely ment it. You probably don't use it lightly. It took you a long time to open up and say, yeah, she deserves it. You don't tell many women " I love you ". When you said it, you are saying it from a protector and provider frame of mind. It was going to the grave!

Did your spouse ever get mad at you for not saying it "enough"? This is something hard for you to comprehend. I told her I love her, doesn't she know I will always love her? I don't have to say it every waking minute!

This is where her version is drastically different.

When a woman says " I love you ", she means I love you in the moment. Her love is not unconditional. She loves you as long as you check all the boxes. At that moment.

Think of it like a stock. She loves the stock. It checks all the fundamentals in the moment. It has been so beneficial. This stock took care of your needs for years and maybe decades. But one fuckup and that stock is traded for another with more benefits. She might go back to that stock if it rises up.

She probably said I love you when you went on vacation, when you bought a house or you found out you were having children. Maybe it was at Christmas and her gift exceeded her expectations. It was when it benefitted her.

Did she tell you "I love you" when you lost a job or any financial negatives? Did you hear it when you forgot important dates? Probably not.

So why do women get married if they know their love is not forever? Because it benefits them. No strong and independent woman has ever shown that mentality in divorce court. She needed you to reproduce. She chose you for your genetics and provider qualities and resources. You chose her because you will love her forever.

How did that work out? Probably pretty well for her.

So why did you get married? I bet it was because it was just "something you do". Everyone else was getting married. Maybe it was religious. It's ok to admit the only reason you got married was societal pressure. You just wanted that dream lifestyle.

So onto the next major point. Why did she leave or why did the marriage fall apart? Its so simple. Women are emotional and irrational. If you were no longer providing an ever INCREASING source of emotional events, well you were no longer interesting. You probably cooked, cleaned, had a fantastic house, job, kids and even gave her good sex. That don't matter.

Once the emotions were no longer interesting, you were doomed. You need to admit there was nothing else you could do. It wasn't your fault (most likely)

So now you are divorced. She has moved on. She is dating some LOSER and everyone can see it but her. WTF? It is because this man is providing emotional stimulation and most of her biological needs have already been met. She had the kids. Check. She secured resources. Check. Now she just needs to feel like her life is interesting. That loser tells her she is beautiful, how could he divorce you etc. Attention is currency.

Now you go out into the dating world. If that loser can find someone, surely you can too.

Not much for luck. Why?

People will say stupid shit for all reasons. Only good looking men get women. Not true. Apply everything you have learned about women thus far. Sell the women an emotional rollercoaster, excitement and potential for success and you will find they are interested.

It doesn't even have to be true!

If you want to win you have to use their stupid rules. I know it makes no sense. You getting divorced as a good man made no sense. You are dealing with women that are IRRATIONAL.

So another hard truth you have to learn. You can level yourself up. Clothes. Cash. Body. It won't matter until you understand women (if your goal is to use these things for new women) You may get extremely depressed that all the hard work for a 6 pack didn't get you a girl.

So what do you do after all this knowledge?

If you are like me you file it in the back of your mind and go live your life how you want because nothing will stop you from success. If you want a woman, you understand its recreational use only and it's probably just your turn with her. Nothing is forever. Soulmates don't exist.

You live. You learn.

Go have fun with your kids. Move on from the past.