A simple thought for your leveling up journey: you are, first and foremost, doing this for yourself

PeanutButterPigeon85 · 2021-12-14T07:39:35+00:00

That last line is a paraphrase of this famous quote:

You don’t owe prettiness to anyone. Not to your boyfriend/spouse/partner, not to your co-workers, especially not to random men on the street. You don’t owe it to your mother, you don’t owe it to your children, you don’t owe it to civilization in general. Prettiness is not a rent you pay for occupying a space marked ‘female’.

― Erin McKean

w0rmsongs · 2021-12-14T04:40:35+00:00

Lovely reminder. I've always received attention from men and consider myself a conventionally attractive woman. Then I unexpectedly lost my breasts and had to undergo chemo. My hair fell out and I shaved it. My eyebrows fell off, and eyelashes too. My skin broke out from stress and meds.

I was suddenly thrown into a world where people made very little eye contact. No attention, from men or women. At first it was jarring and disturbing. Then it was freeing. I had the same respect as always from the high value people that matter in my life.. and everyone else could go kick rocks. We are but meat sacks for the soul..

sourcircus · 2021-12-14T05:54:02+00:00

I agree on absolutely no obligation for anything. It's not that cut and dry for women unfortunately, when society and the messaging everywhere has reduced us to our looks when we live in a patriarchy.

We will be penalised for not looking attractive and this will affect all aspects of our lives especially important ones like our career (for our independence). I remember when I was scolded for not wearing concealer because of my dark eye circles (due to allergies) while a male colleague also had the same but it was totally fine for him...

Aiming to fit into societal expectations or not - it is a losing battle where you lose out on time, mental energy, $$$ or it could also be missed opportunities. It is not fun and clearly is meant to distract us from other worthwhile pursuits. Huge systematic change is required

The_Cat_Empress · 2021-12-15T02:50:32+00:00

I JUST agonized about this to my sister, why she has to spend so much time on her hair when she was just doing errands. She said "I do it for me, when I look good I feel good."

The radfem in me wonders why though? Why do women have to spend an exorbitant amount of time that men don't when just going to the grocery store? "Doing it for me" is one thing but I think about the societal pressure put on women...to look pretty all the time...to "do it all."

I was never given a passing glance even when I was skinnier and wore makeup, so why bother? I'll just be invisible with my t-shirt and sweats.

Title	A simple thought for your leveling up journey: you are, first and foremost, doing this for yourself
Author	herbivorouscarnivore
Upvotes	1559
Comments	26
Date	December 14, 2021 3:46 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/rfycwe/a_simple_thought_for_your_leveling_up_journey_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/a-simple-thought-for-your-leveling-up-journey-you.1092555 https://theredarchive.com/post/1092555

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