As a woman whose never given birth

Davina33 · 2020-12-09T20:43:08+00:00

I agree completely. I'm child free but and I think it's awful. Also pregnancy if a prime time for domestic violence. My stepfather met my mother when she was pregnant with me. Not long afterwards he bottled her over the head and she still has the scar. How can these men disrespect the mothers of their children so much?

intergalacticanon44 · 2020-12-09T21:26:48+00:00

Yeah a lot of men do not deserve children, maybe if it was their bodies going through pregnancy it would be different. I don’t think I will ever trust a man enough to have his child, it’s not the main reason I don’t want children, though

jgtjc · 2020-12-09T22:02:23+00:00

I know, right?! I feel the same way. Then, how cheating and abuse skyrockets during pregnancy. Fuck that. No woman should have a guy’s kids unless he worships the ground she walks on. I and a lot of women don’t even want kids that much when we’re single and not in love. The idea is nice, but only when you think of it as a stork bringing the children along to us. That’s the reality to men, though. We’re storks to them. They turn a blind eye to our sacrifice and pain, which is not just pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding and living with the resulting damaged body, but decades of literally bloody pain.

curlygirl507 · 2020-12-09T22:01:12+00:00

Unfortunately many many men (and some women as well) are truly evil. It's not a rare thing. They get off on feeling like they have more power than the other person. It's shocking and horrible when you first become their victim, but then you learn the signs and nothing surprises you anymore. Now I just think all those people are lame as hell. I can't imagine functioning that way in the world.

Blankrabbit · 2020-12-09T20:16:55+00:00

Omg yes yes yes!

2020-12-09T20:20:06+00:00

Agree completely. They give us poison and we turn it into an thinking breathing life form. Then they have the nerve to look at what we did say “you got fat”.

Proud-Purpose · 2020-12-10T00:40:07+00:00

It's male psychology. Males know they're shit, therefore women who associate with them, especially without a substantial investment, are shit = said women are then lower than shit from the male perspective. Pregnancy is the ultimate form of associating with shit, because you're ruining your body to perpetuate shit genetics.

There are countless stories about hot girls giving ugly guys a chance, only to be treated like they're bottom of the barrel fuggos afterwards. It's this exact principle in action. Betas will DESPISE you for indulging them, because men are insulted by attention from women they perceive as low quality. Because in most species female are of higher genetic quality than most males, it's abnormal for a female to engage in fidelity-signalling or being "low maintenance" unless there's something seriously wrong with her. In human females, this behavior is artificially encouraged as part of a larger beta affirmative action program (reduced intra-male competition, guaranteed reproduction for every male).

It may sound paradoxical and illogical, but it's how men think. That's why they will never appreciate any woman that's 1) fully devoted to them and 2) is low maintenance, even if that's what they'll say they want. The only way you can bypass this is by requiring investment, reminding them that you're the one with options, and always having one foot out of the door.

Ana_jp · 2020-12-09T20:39:37+00:00

I’m one of the lucky few women that both doesn’t want children, and can’t have them. I’m thankful regularly.

misszazie · 2020-12-09T21:03:04+00:00

Yeah, totally. It's another example of how we're seen as objects. The slightest deviation from how we started is viewed as a flaw.

Someone who truly loves a woman loves her equally in all her phases. We change a lot. Some of us visibly week to week. And that's part of femininity. It should be celebrated.

If a guy only likes women who look like we did as teens, we know what we call him.

BBQCoolRanchQueen · 2020-12-09T22:06:56+00:00

Yeah they are a special kind of nvm/lvm. I'm the "bounce right back in 2 weeks" minority. My lvm ex said that I may have lost the weight but my stretch marks and breasts will never look attractive to him, that I should get surgery to fix it. I told him of he has a problem with it, he can pay for it, at which he laughed and said nothing I ever do will improve the way he looks at me. Lvm just love to find any reason to devalue the mother of their children.

Proud-Purpose · 2020-12-10T00:50:52+00:00

I'll go even further and say that any man who wants his woman pregnant doesn't love her, because it's effectively wishing pain and suffering on her.

Sexual reproduction itself is an inherently violent, exploitative process, and it is fully antithetical to "true love" or whatever romantic woo men feed women to pacify us so we don't freak out on our way to the slaughterhouse. The romanticized view of pregnancy and motherhood was created specifically to conceal how abhorrent it is.

https://aeon.co/amp/essays/why-pregnancy-is-a-biological-war-between-mother-and-baby

badbeert · 2020-12-09T21:02:00+00:00

Absolutely. They want to have their cake and eat it too

light_workerx3 · 2020-12-10T00:06:05+00:00

Exactly and not to mention as someone who has a child , when I was pregnant I was only eating healthy foods , not over eating and I STILL GAINED 53 pounds !! So it's just pregnancy in it's damn self that can get you big . It's so unbelievably sad that some evil ass men can have the nerve to be so damn cruel and they won't even look at their wives/gfs the same either.

Also they will berate you and make you feel like shit about yourself if you ask for some reassurance. My child's father was a little cold towards me . He also seemed envious in a way that pregnant women get alot of attention from doctors and whoever .. I knew something was off about certain things he said and did. I absolutely can't stand him .

Mysterious_Midnight7 · 2020-12-10T02:21:42+00:00

So many of them don't even have a clue as to what pregnancy and giving birth entails. I spoke to one LVM who didn't even know what an episiotomy was. They just take for granted that you will bear their spawn. That's why they don't gaf about cheating on you either

HappyCoconutty · 2020-12-10T03:39:26+00:00

My cousin’s banker husband started telling her that she was getting too big in her third trimester and that none of his friend’s wives bellies were that big. She was skin and bones everywhere else so her belly looked more prominent than heavier women. She started trying to diet to prevent getting bigger and ended up going into premature labor and baby ended up being in ICU shortly. Guess what - husband is bald with a pot belly.

Thankfully, my close girlfriends married men who adored their pregnant bodies and did not think their bodies were “damaged” in anyway after having babies. They are all highly involved dads too.

ivy176 · 2020-12-10T02:30:45+00:00

Some men are vile. My husband and I agreed that if I ever give birth (God help me), that I don't want to look at a human/blood/placenta tearing out of my vagina and neither does he. I don't need anymore PTSD, neither does he. He can sit face to face with me and give support. I can see how seeing something so visually confronting can affect some people, but it definitely would not make anyone treat their spouse badly or disrespect them, that's just being an asshole.

Some men hate their spouses more and more with every accomplishment or progress they make. If his wife gets a great job, he hates her more. Promotion, hates her more. Gets fitter, tears her down. Has a child, hates her more. It's because the woman represents progress, responsibility, adulthood, expectation and all the things that NVM don't want. They want to be kids forever and anything about adulthood makes them rage with tantrums. They're basically resisting growing up so getting married, anything to do with employment, house, housework, kids, even pets will drive them crazy.

coolestgirlyoueverme · 2020-12-10T00:47:34+00:00

"men have no excuse to be fat" I love this! They really don't. They have faster metabolisms & no child birth.

gummmybean · 2020-12-10T02:25:13+00:00

Reddit is a cesspool of men who think like this.

I haven't had children yet, but I think about this all the time. Going to have to make sure the man I eventually have babies with doesn't have this mindset and loves me unconditionally.

KAT_85 · 2020-12-10T04:45:14+00:00

I've had two kids and yes it's gross. But that's how they are... unless they have empathy. The way I figure, as long as you take care of yourself, having kids just accelerates SOME negative changes to your body that would happen anyway. So if they can't accept it when you're in your 20s or 30s, they will be leaving you in your 40s for a 20-something even if you don't have kids with them. So, if I were single, I would look at every snarky comment they make and ask myself if they are signs of someone who is intolerant of basic aging. That weeds out a lot of the assholes

straighthairgreece · 2020-12-10T07:59:44+00:00

Haha you remind me of my friend who used to say that men have no excuse to be fat and lack muscles since genetics are on their side and they don't give birth. It's much easier for men to build muscles and burn fat than women.

immortallogic · 2020-12-10T07:55:05+00:00

I agree that they are evil, but it is not 'their child'. It is more her child, she gestated it for 9 months. That's why the idea that a kid without a father being a bastard is ludicrous.

Triptothebend · 2020-12-10T08:14:19+00:00

My ex-husband insisted on having children while often putting me down for getting 'soft and flabby' BEFORE I even was pregnant and while I weighed under 60 kg. I left him before reproducing, and I am forever grateful to myself for both of those things. The scrote had the nerve to mention while breaking up that he was so sorrowful ti never see me pregnant and saying he one day would accept 'all the nasty men'he thought I was going to fuck right after our divorce. What a piece of shit he truly was.

jeniiiiiblue · 2020-12-10T03:49:41+00:00

I agree it’s so sad to see post about it or women talk about that . I almost died after giving birth and my daughter just turned one recently . I still have weight to lose before I reach my pregnancy weight but I’m not hard on myself and Also I want to do it for me to feel comfortable in my own skin . He has been very supportive and loves me body probably more now cause of the extra chunk 😂. But never has he ever said anything to put me down ans he respects and understand to the extent he can what my body went through . It’s very important to pick wisely because if he ever girl I would leave so quick .

nanofarm · 2020-12-12T22:34:13+00:00

I never felt more beautiful than when I was pregnant. I had all the typical insecurities of a young woman raised on cosmo magazine and mtv but that fell by the wayside when my daughter was growing inside me. There is no way that isn’t amazing! I gained weight, gained more after she was born bc of the stress from my shitty husband. But it didn’t matter- I felt like a goddess. I loved my curves and huge boobs and stretch marks and even my soft round tummy. It wasn’t just because of motherhood either- gutted and renovated a house while pregnant. I was diagnosed with lupus shortly after. I almost died in childbirth, I pushed for 8 hours without pain medication. I felt powerful and strong and recognized that I had been powerful for my whole life but didn’t see it. Having a child just made apparent what has always been there. (childhood rape, sudden death of half my family, put myself through college working multiple jobs with untreated ADHD and lupus etc).

Anyways LVM at gonna be LVM so after all that my ex said:

“You are unattractive”

“You don’t contribute”

“You are not a good mother”

“You don’t support me”

And before I would have taken his feeling seriously and tried to “work on it”

But now I could see so clearly that none of those were true. It didn’t even hurt me or make me upset. I felt nothing. “You aren’t attractive” nope, you’re wrong. Calm. In MY reality and not his. So easy to walk away after that.

Motherhood isn’t for everyone. It’s freaking hard as hell. I love being a mom, even though I will never ever have another kid bc I can never trust a man to not let me down once I’m vulnerable. Motherhood isn’t a magic ticket to self confidence, obviously, as can be seen in some subs here. For me, I knew in my soul that I was a capable an beautiful creature and what that sad little LVM sperm donor thought was of no consequence to me anymore. He was so far beneath me he didn’t register. He wasn’t happy 🤣

Title	As a woman whose never given birth
Author	Hennyyenni
Upvotes	489
Comments	48
Date	December 9, 2020 3:27 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/k9tt92/as_a_woman_whose_never_given_birth/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/as-a-woman-whose-never-given-birth.748894 https://theredarchive.com/post/748894

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