Asking WhY dIdn't YoU cOmmUNICate is another way to victim blame women for assault. Apparently, if you don't provide men with a comprehensive list of sexual behaviors you don't like ahead of time whatever they do to you is your fault because abuse is normal.

throwaway-786786 · 2020-04-18T04:41:07+00:00

I told a guy I didn't want to see him again because he choked me during a makeout session (yes, not even sex lol). He FLIPPED out. He said "you didn't have to make me feel like a POS" and "I told you communication was KEY"

I had just started dating and I was so confused. I was like... does this guy seriously not see a problem with choking someone on a 2nd date he didn't know very well?

mightbethrowawayyy · 2020-04-18T05:11:22+00:00

“Have you communicated with him? You need to let him know how you feel when he said your vagina was so ugly and he wanted to puke. Don’t make him feel like you’re guilting him though. Try lightheartedly ‘hey it made me feel unappreciated when you said my vagina was ugly’. And see if he’ll change. Guys are humans too. He can’t read your mind.”

LadyGrimes · 2020-04-18T05:18:11+00:00

" Tries to shove it in your butt? It's IMPOSSIBLE for men to tell the difference between a vagina and an asshole so you have to tell him! "

Fucking dead lmao

LurkForYourLives · 2020-04-18T09:05:45+00:00

Not even only violence.

you didn’t tell me to do the dishes!
you didn’t tell me to fill up the car!
you didn’t tell me it was our anniversary!

Selective hearing and babying.

lickyblickyuhh · 2020-04-18T05:30:23+00:00

“Why didn’t you communicate” should be said for minor situations, like how they have the tv a bit loud and you can’t focus on something. If I have to tell you I don’t like it when you slap me in the face and call me a bitch then you’re just a dumb fuck.

CSardothien_1 · 2020-04-18T04:21:12+00:00

Shoved his dick down your throat and started mouth fucking you? You should have pulled away from his death grip on your head...it’s sickening to think we still have to explain ourselves after everything. Men should know better by this point and they are actively choosing not to.

2020-04-18T14:21:06+00:00

Ugh god. This reminds me of the advice women are given when their partners are porn addicts, sex addicts, cheaters.

Poor OP: “Help! I’m 8 1/2 months pregnant and my husband has elapsed with his porn use! Now he’s sleeping with hookers and is spending thousands on cam girls!”

Linda the Pick Me Therapist: “Deeaaarie! Don’t you know he’s suffering from a diseeeeease??? You need to CoMMuNiCaTe! You need to forgiiive him, pray to the Lord, and buy some more therapy sessions so you learn how to submit and obey!”

MissVvvvv · 2020-04-18T07:10:39+00:00

[permanently deleted]

taranova_da · 2020-04-18T12:12:14+00:00

And when you try to explain that THEY need to communicate first before trying something new to make sure that partner will like it, they say something like "But it will spoil the atmosphere! How can you imagine asking something during sex or prelude?"

Because if in porn actors don't talk, in reality people shouldn't too.

FluffandRainclouds · 2020-04-18T18:26:32+00:00

Some men hurt women anyway after we specifically state how not to hurt us. They will literally take it as a sick challenge from us (like a bully) 🤮 See subreddits like relationships and AITA. "I told my boyfriend please don't say/do this to hurt me and he did it anyway. Now I am mad, AITA?"

Also, this isn't repeated enough: on another thread here said "if you were truly sorry you wouldn't have done it in the first place." #kickhimout2020

PoeticINFP · 2020-04-20T05:57:26+00:00

I always found the one where they put in the butt by accident weird. Like that hole is clearly in my butt. I’ve had to say wrong hole so many times sometimes to the same man that I’m starting to think it’s not accident.

flowers4u · 2020-04-18T18:05:29+00:00

If you want messed up story look up what happened to nikki addimando. There is a new law in NY state that would absolve her. Basically saying if you kill someone due to abuse and you are found guilty then they can give a reduced sentence or something. However the republican judge was too scared to use it since it would be the first case of it. https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.newyorker.com/news/dispatch/when-can-a-woman-who-kills-her-abuser-claim-self-defense/amp

AutoModerator · 2020-04-18T03:55:01+00:00

[1] - Please read the FDS Handbook and Wiki before commenting. Repeated comments demonstrating lack of basic sub knowledge will result in a temporary or permanent ban.
[2] - Please REPORT any comments that do not follow the sub rules. If you do not report it, the mods will not see it.
[3] - This sub is FEMALE ONLY. All comments from men will be removed and you will be banned. So if you’ve got an XY, don’t reply. DO NOT REPLY TO MALE TROLLS!! Please DOWNVOTE and REPORT immediately.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Comments