Over the last few years, I’ve become more and more pro-FDS. Occasionally I’ve faltered but no matter what, when I stray from FDS, I learn the hard way that FDS is the way, no matter what the critics say.

I’ve adjusted my approach to dating and men to fit FDS, and my life is way less stressful because of it.

However, I’ve realized that I may be doing something that is NOT FDS, but I am not sure, and want to get your feedback.

After a date, if i enjoyed it, I always text the guy afterwards “thank you for dinner, I had a great time, would love to do it again!” I feel extremely rude just not saying anything afterwards after they pay for everything. I expect them to pay, but I feel strongly about thanking them for the meal and being honest about what my intentions are for another date.

At that point, I feel good knowing that the ball is in their court and I don’t do anything, I just sit back and wait to see if they continue the conversation or ask me out again. Because I’ve made it clear, I give them 5-6 days to make plans with me after the first date. If nothing, I’m done with it, because there’s no excuse when they know how I felt.

But I went on a date on Friday and did the same thing, and for the first time, I questioned if it was the right move. What if I just said nothing? It would feel rude but maybe that’s better and I need to let the guy do 100% of the initiating and contacting. Maybe texting them after is pickme behavior? I just thought it was a good way to politely be upfront about my expectations (men pay, and I want them to set up frequent dates).

I’m very assertive and outspoken in my day to day life so reeling it in while dating is difficult for me at times. But I’d love to hear how you all handle the “post date communication” so I can do better for myself.

Thanks!