Do Porn-Free Men Even Exist?

purpleprinter_ · 2020-04-12T19:53:14+00:00

1.) This is extremely hard to navigate. At some point he’s going to consume some type of pornography, even if he’s porn free. It’s everywhere. You also need to understand that men don’t give up pornography for the reason women want them to. Men don’t give up pornography because porn isn’t ethical. They give it up for reasons regarding their health/performance.

2.) I don’t think there’s a specific place to find men that don’t watch porn. Porn consumption is a huge issue among all demographics of men. You can’t look at a guy and tell whether or not he watches porn.

3.) Yes, it is best to straight up ask very early on in dating. Don’t ask “Do you watch porn?”, instead ask, “What kind of porn do you like to watch?”. The latter question will provide you with a more honest answer.

FitResearcher5 · 2020-04-12T21:27:54+00:00

A blind guy? Hahahaha

Dismal-Storm · 2020-04-12T21:46:45+00:00

It's practically impossible to find a man who has never watched porn, but I do think it's possible to find men who don't watch porn during a relationship or who have just stopped watching porn generally. And that's fine for me, but I understand if you want to find someone basically untouched by porn. Or if you're afraid men will just lie and say they don't watch it and then do.

osnapitsme · 2020-04-12T22:45:02+00:00

It is so fucking sad though. I've slept with two guys so far, and both of them were severely porn-addicted. One of them even admitted it (he was my fwb and an asshole and I've blocked him now). Both of them were not able to cum and had problems keeping their thing up. My previous fwb took a "break" from porn and then he was able to cum. But porn really fucks with their mind. It was all of the sudden okay to slap me across the face and call me a whore and "accidentally" sticking it in my butt. I swear to God, these scrotes are broken sexually and emotionally.

Mindard · 2020-04-12T19:40:23+00:00

Yes, they do exist but this does not necessarily make them HVMs. My ex was pornfree and an abusive cheater. Beware.

ithrewhimaway · 2020-04-12T20:12:45+00:00

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PunnyPrinter · 2020-04-12T21:51:14+00:00

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kikivegan · 2020-04-12T22:16:35+00:00

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darling89 · 2020-04-12T20:42:16+00:00

I doubt it

Silvasister · 2020-04-12T21:00:23+00:00

I'm friends with a guy who says he doesn't like or watch porn. Do I believe him? I don't know im sceptical I feel like they all watch it some more than others.

brama_zon · 2020-04-12T21:05:53+00:00

I straight up ask if they watch it. My last relationship was with a porn sick LVM, so I don't want to play any games with future relationship types. I'm also now pretty protective of myself. I'll most likely be single for a while and that's ok.

thinkingaboutfrogs · 2020-04-12T22:09:31+00:00

My bf doesn’t watch porn, but I think it’s definitely nonstandard. I started dating him before finding FDS and before forming my opinion that I wouldn’t date someone who watches it, so I got lucky in that sense. The reason why I’m sure he doesn’t watch is he was the one who brought it up, asking if I watch porn. I didn’t want to express a judgement either way so I said “not really” and then he proceeded to talk about how he doesn’t support it and would rather use his imagination. He still doesn’t know that this is something that is important to me, so he has no incentive to lie. Generally I think that’s the way to do it - don’t express that this is a boundary for you until you find out one way or another. I think if a man is HV and you find out he is a casual consumer of porn (I doubt that anyone who watches regularly can be HV) maybe you can express that you are uncomfortable with him watching due to whatever reasons you have and then see how he reacts.

pickmieshaexorcist · 2020-04-13T01:39:13+00:00

So I’m married to someone porn free as far as I know*. Even my ex husband was, one of his few good qualities. Neither relationship was pornsick. I am middle aged and current husband is slightly younger than me. The age might be a factor but I don’t know, there’s a lot of pornsick men out there my age too. I do know that our generation was not raised on internet porn though.

*as far as I know means they could be lying I suppose. But I can’t drive myself crazy wondering what he might be doing out of eyesight. All I can do is look at his actions and whether the relationship feels porn free.

For example:

He has shut down an LVM at his work when he wanted to show him racy photos of the girl he was sleeping with. Husband laid into him.

Does not like typical female degradation in movies and will usually fast forward through sex scenes

Thinks men who hound dog over porny social media like Instagram are losers. He thinks it’s extremely disrespectful to drool over other women if you are committed.

He makes me feel beautiful and desired

He does not flirt with or leak sexual energy out to other women irl.

He does not believe in female friends and being close to you exes and that that only invites trouble.

Sex is focused on my pleasure first and not a single ounce of degradation is present.

He thinks anal is gross. That’s where poop is.

This is just a short list and I hate feeling like I’m bragging like “my Niiiiigel” or some shit. But I have been quite lucky but I’m really nothing super special, I’m not some amazing gorgeous rich goddess or anything. So I think that if I could find it, it’s out there somewhere.

jesza09 · 2020-04-13T08:06:17+00:00

My ex was porn free but utter scum in almost every other way. It’s a jungle out there.

nemorii · 2020-04-13T11:33:39+00:00

Yep. An ex of mine didn't watch porn due to learning about the industry itself, plus its effects on his mental health. He said things like "the question isn't how do I know she's getting abused, but how do I know she isn't - and I don't". We were incompatible for other reasons, but it was never about the porn

DazzlingMolasses7 · 2020-04-13T03:14:07+00:00

I have dated several men who did not watch porn. I think it will be damn near impossible to find a man who has never seen any porn in their life, but it’s possible to find a man who doesn’t watch porn regularly or even semi-regularly.

I noticed there’s an overlap with men who don’t dick around on the internet all day/play video games and men who don’t watch porn. If the man is very into video games, Reddit, etc. then it’s very likely he watches a lot of porn. Men who have lives outside the computer don’t have as much time to watch porn. The few men I dated who didn’t watch porn mostly only used the computer or internet for work or a specific purpose (looking something up, checking email, etc).

Another thing in common with these men is they didn’t like porn and never got really into it. I wouldn’t trust a man who used to watch a lot and doesn’t watch any now. It’s like dating an alcoholic.

Karolin99_Ger · 2020-04-12T20:17:30+00:00

they definetly exist i would say but that's like harder to find than Everything else.

bruhmerica · 2020-04-13T09:18:48+00:00

I honestly don't know why we even still want to date men. Heterosexuality is a curse. I give up 😂

jetpatch · 2020-04-13T14:05:41+00:00

Frankly the type of man not watching a lot of porn will be a man expending his energy on other stuff and also has found other ways to relax.

Those are 2 things to look out for. Once you've found a man simply not bothered that much about porn then you are one step away from him being porn free.

rinabean · 2020-04-13T18:56:51+00:00

I think asking what porn he watches is a great idea to try to get them to tell the truth. Not gonna 100% work but it's going to work a lot better than asking if they watch it at all I think.

Men who don't watch porn are rare but so are HVM in general.

mydoghatesyoutoo · 2020-04-12T22:12:46+00:00

If a man has access to porn he will watch. Any man who says he doesn’t,is lying.

sugartears · 2020-04-14T18:40:18+00:00

Conservative, right-wing or religious men are usually the groups I have found that don't watch porn. I am openly against porn in my day to day life and I have just bluntly said that I don't date men that watch porn. If you're religious I'd say go to church to find men that don't watch porn lol apart from that I can't think of a specific place

goddess-of-compost · 2020-04-15T02:49:33+00:00

There’s absolutely men out there who don’t ... and they’re way better in bed.

The only place I know for sure a higher % of men exist without this are rural off-grid areas without cell reception and somehow live without wifi ... which is probably not very helpful 😂

There’s some hunky guys who love nature and kinda shun or just aren’t into technology (at least the staring at screens part of it).

quaintlyspoken · 2020-04-13T17:19:03+00:00

If he's into porn it better be femdom, from a female perspective. Otherwise no I'm not interested.

Salt_Satisfaction · 2020-04-14T04:24:05+00:00

I agree that men who don't watch any kind of porn are very rare, although I personally know three so maybe not.

Since most guys watch porn, I'd prefer to know several things:

1) What kind? If it's 90% vanilla sex with an occasional deviation that I don't know of because he'd never ask me to do it, and one of the reasons why he doesn't watch any kinks/weird things is because he can't stand seeing women suffer, then it's good for me.

2) If he defends porn, doesn't really believe that women are abused in it, or doesn't seem to understand that female actresses get the short end of the stick in almost every circumstance, then that's a hard pass.

3) How often he watches it. If he says like once a week, and briefly at that (no 4 hour wanking sessions, more like 10 mins), then it's okay in my book.

4) If he chooses porn instead of me, suggests we do something he saw in there, watches it in front of me or loud enough for me to hear, or talks about it with me as if he was talking about a hobby, then it's a hard pass too.

5) I feel this one is important: if he's inexperienced he needs to have googled how to pleasure a woman. If he is experienced and he's still bad at sex, I'd be really cautious because that means that he's almost never made his previous partners cum and he was fine with it. This is the kind of man you'll have to convince to make a little effort to try and make you orgasm. He should be a hard pass.

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whiskeyjack1983 · 2020-04-13T04:37:15+00:00

ITT: Women crunch the numbers on a LVM behavior that was previously just a generalized male-bashing tool, and are now side-eyeing each other as the realization that they are all dating/married to LVMs due to the ubiquitous nature of the behavior dawns on them.

I'm a sucker for truth bombs, and watching this one unfold has been hilarious, so thank you all for your participation.

Title	Do Porn-Free Men Even Exist?
Author	Rockymemorylane
Upvotes	61
Comments	52
Date	April 12, 2020 7:28 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/g031r3/do_pornfree_men_even_exist/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/do-porn-free-men-even-exist.678496 https://theredarchive.com/post/678496

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