Have you ever dated a guy who was waaaaaay too close to his ex girlfriend? 🤨

aurelia_86 · 2021-12-21T06:15:34+00:00

My ex was so surprised when I made it clear that I didn't want to be friends after he dumped me abruptly after an 8 year relationship. Dude really thought he was entitled to retain all the emotional benefits I offered after he walked away from every promise he ever made (which included multiple promises of marriage, children and growing old together). He occasionally emails me about how sad he is like he's the victim of my terrible and mean behavior.

Ladies, just don't go there. Don't be someone's emotional support ex gf, don't date someone with an emotional support ex gf. If you are the ex gf - don't give your emotional labor and precious time to someone who is giving you nothing in return. If you are the new gf - don't give your emotional labor and precious time to someone who is selfish enough to suck up another woman's energy in that way. Nothing good is going to come out of it for either of the women involved.

DivineGoddess1111111 · 2021-12-21T05:17:58+00:00

I wouldn't date a guy who was close to his ex. He's either fcking her or wanting to fck her.

Skittleschild02 · 2021-12-21T04:51:10+00:00

Yup. I pulled back from him. He ended up getting her pregnant. Huge shit show on Facebook. Just phew! Don’t ever let a guy talk you into a “friends with benefits” situation.

millennialpink2000 · 2021-12-21T05:51:26+00:00

I can't understand the people who proudly proclaim their ex(es) attended their wedding. All that tells me if you have no respect for your current partner

Golden_Lavender · 2021-12-21T11:58:10+00:00

And the "girl bestfriend" who sees as a sister

sleutherino · 2021-12-21T05:41:12+00:00

There's no reason to stay friends with an ex, unless you still want to fuck them or haven't actually moved on. If you're that desperate for friends, you need to work on your social skills or getting out more. There are too many people in the world to act like your ex is one of your only options for friends.

"They're still a cool person", no. By cool, they mean "she might still let me fuck her". Once you've dated and had sex, things don't just go back to casual friendship.

It's simple enough to go out and make new friends that don't come with that kind of baggage. If a guy tries to convince you this is somehow not possible, or "too much work", he's giving you an insight to the effort he's willing to put into the relationship. He either still has feelings or is socially inept, neither will benefit you.

WeirdestStrawberry · 2021-12-21T08:08:36+00:00

My ex never seemed to understand why I disliked him suddenly talking so much to his ex. Ignored me too when I let him know it made me uncomfortable. I noticed he lied about how close they were and about how much they talked. I let him know again that it made me really unhappy what he was doing and that it needed to change. He acted like I was a crazy person and that I should give the girl a chance. Stupid me actually did and became friendly with her, because I trusted him and his judgement oh so much.

He threw a two year old relationship away to sext with her. Then he got angry with me for blocking him everywhere. Like properly I-will-never-talk-to-you-again-angry (which lasted two months).

He still talks to her now (heard that from a friend) while she’s dating guys off and on. You just gotta stay away from people like that. Gross.

There’s no reason for someone to keep their ex in their life (excluding maybe children). There’s absolutely no reason for them to talk daily. There’s no reason for him to require emotional labor from them. It shows clear disrespect to you and honestly? It’ll always go where you think it’ll go. Or at least on the edge which is already disrespectful.

Never date someone that is still friends or suddenly becomes friends with his ex. It’s just not worth it.

2021-12-21T14:01:27+00:00

Oh lawd. My most narcissistic ex was very close to many ex gfs (the ones he abused less than the ones that refuse to speak to him) when I was a pick me I thought it was a good sign that he was “friends” with them. He had an ex that would drive him to get an Xmas tree every year. He hired 2 of his ex’s to work at the bar he tended. (One of them assaulted me) he was “best friends” with a different old fling. He was also in a band with a different ex that he claimed was “controlling and abusive” was “friends” with another ex that was ten years his junior. All of these women were manipulated and triangulated against one another. I am glad I am not his “friend”. Men that are close to ex’s are cheaters and trash. Most of my “dates” with him consisted of me sitting with him, while he managed his harem via text. If I ever asked for a crumb of attention I was “jealous” never. Ever. Date men that are close to even one ex. I was stupid enough to date a scrote with a pick me harem. These men are parasitic, and use their ex’s for one thing or another. It is LV to use people, and generally once you’ve dated someone, they can’t be a real friend. Onwards and upwards for me.

SamEsme · 2021-12-21T10:18:41+00:00

No but I was the 'ex' despite me making it v clear I held nothing but platonic feelings after the break-up. Happy to report I dumped the whole 'friend' and/or ex because I just knew his current gf would not want to know her bf still behaves like this with some other girl.

seraphinelysion · 2021-12-22T02:07:29+00:00

Thankfully, I've not had this problem (yet) but when I was married, my ex had an emotional support future-gf. Does that count? 🤣

ivesynthed · 2021-12-22T05:30:51+00:00

Curious to hear other FDSer’s opinions on men staying friends with their exes.

My ex was “friends with all of his exes”…he explained this as something he was inspired to do bc of his father (who stayed in contact with his mother long after their divorce) and some other self righteous bs.

He would occasionally mention that one of those exes would text him, and she would invite him to certain events (her sister’s graduation, thanksgiving dinner with her family etc). She’s a major pick me “sex positive” type of girl btw 🙄. I told him it makes me uncomfortable so he said he’ll stop interacting with her.

I did read through some of his texts and he did tell his ex about me and that he’s really happy with me, won’t be spending any time with her, blah blah. But I did not like reading this. I also read some super sad pick me text from his most recent gf (some approval seeking “ugh no im so ugly” type thing) and he didn’t reply. Embarrassing….

Personally, I don’t like this kind of behavior and find it unnecessary and cringey from both parties involved.

lanaisg0d · 2021-12-21T22:31:47+00:00

Yes. He cheated on me. Run

laylaloolah · 2021-12-21T15:26:45+00:00

Ugh. I’ve spent way too much of my life with men who are still into an ex or friends with their ex fiancée.

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Title	Have you ever dated a guy who was waaaaaay too close to his ex girlfriend? 🤨
Author	heroic_nincompoop
Upvotes	1600
Comments	41
Date	December 21, 2021 4:36 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/femaledatingstrategy/comments/rl69ub/have-you-ever-dated-a-guy-who-was-waaaaaay-too-/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/have-you-ever-dated-a-guy-who-was-waaaaaay-too.1602517 https://theredarchive.com/post/1602517

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