How did you help yourself to mentally get over your LVX/NVX cheating?

ello-motto · 2021-09-05T01:39:25+00:00

The cheating is nothing to do with you, and everything to do with their deranged depraved defective moral compass.

Just remember that. Even someone as stunning, talented, rich and famous as Beyonce can get cheated on by a low life scrote.

Go back and analyze the red flags you may have missed that allowed you to remain in a relationship with such a LV person and make sure you never settle or waste time for someone with red flags like that ever again.

Platipus6 · 2021-09-05T01:40:44+00:00

Oh no :( what an awful scrote.

The fog is probably betrayal trauma, the same kind of shock as witnessing a car accident. Your body and mind is flooding you with chemicals to prepare you as if it were a physical trauma and over the next few days they're going to fade away and leave you shaky and tired.

Please look after yourself by doing the basics. Drink water, have a nice shower, get into clean pajamas, eat healthy snacks and remind yourself that his behaviour is no reflection of your value.

If you feel yourself wanting to self-harm in any way to cope, reach out to a friend. Or snuggle with a weighted blanket and a soft/plush pillow, eat a piece of chocolate, and have a good cry.

💜

justsippingteahere · 2021-09-05T02:20:03+00:00

It took several months to get over the heartbreak. But I had supportive friends and worked hard to get back into the dating scene. Learned a lot about what I wouldn’t put up with for future bfs.Hard to believe that it has been over twenty years since that time. I never regretted the break up and I thought about him less and less through the years. Been happily married for over 15 years to an awesome man. His cheating was a gift to me- he didn’t deserve me before he cheated. It took the cheating to make me realize that

Risas1239 · 2021-09-05T03:06:08+00:00

For me it was coming to terms with the fact that my ex was abusive. He was kind, caring, devoted, and everyone loved him, but I kept going to bed angry, feeling irrational. It wasn’t until my friend asked me, after our break up, “would you have done that to him” and I applied it to a million things in our relationship, that I re-evaluated everything. Lying and cheating is inherently abusive. Sounds like you’re coming to terms with how much he effed your reality up. No one ever confirmed it for me, btw, but in hindsight it was obvious that he cheated.

creamtart_ · 2021-09-05T03:01:31+00:00

Hey sis, very sorry to hear this happened. I’ve been through similar, as have many of us here. Remember that you’re not alone. We’re all here for you.

After my own D-Day, I was in a very bad way. My world turned upside down, but now I’m stronger than ever. Finding FDS was life changing for me. Sounds cheesy, but I’d never felt more validated in my life. All the thoughts and beliefs I’d had about balancing being a radfem and surviving in a patriarchal society, I wasn’t alone.

Read the book “Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life”. It was amazing in helping me. Also I read and reread the FDS handbook (there’s a post specifically for breakup recovery) as well as lots of incredible posts that I saved to go back to. I also just focused on my own growth, I channeled all my energy into self-development. I love strength training, lifting makes me feel indestructible. I also took up boxing and got one on one coaching. I did everything I knew made me feel strong and safe, both mentally and physically.

Point is, yours might be different, but do everything that you know makes you feel happy and safe. Does that mean watching animal friend videos on YouTube? Taking up rollerblading? Learning Cantonese? Whatever it is for you, do it! Invest so hard in yourself that every flashback you have to a memory of him, you start to see it as an experience to learn from.

dancedancedance7 · 2021-09-05T05:31:58+00:00

"he had his female friend bring a girlfriend for him to fuck"?? 🤯 What is this creature lol, Jabba the Hutt? Nothing to get over, the trash took itself out.

You thought he was a decent human and you were wrong. That's a terrible feeling, but it's much better than taking on any responsibility for this. HVX don't cheat, they leave. There is nothing you can do to make anyone cheat.

shedipity · 2021-09-05T05:25:03+00:00

if they want to cheat, they’ll cheat. it doesn’t matter how amazing, beautiful, caring you are. if they want to cheat they will, because they are the ones who are horrible people NOT you, and they’ll do it again and again, because they want to. i’m so sorry you went through this ♥️

arnezuara · 2021-09-05T12:42:45+00:00

[permanently deleted]

seraphinelysion · 2021-09-05T14:52:01+00:00

I didn't internalize any blame onto myself. I knew that whatever he did was his decision, his choice, his actions, and it had nothing to do with me. He's going to have to live with that guilt for the rest of his life, not me. Now that I'm rid of him, I feel so much better. Life is so much better.

The second thing that helped me: I sleep better knowing he's out there ruining someone else's life rather than mine. 😂 There's no jealousy for the other girl, only pity. I don't want him back, and I don't wish him on my worst enemy.

thebonecarrier · 2021-09-05T06:15:58+00:00

https://www.chumplady.com/

arnezuara · 2021-09-05T06:50:48+00:00

Hey, I’m so sorry that happened to you :(. I’ve never had anyone cheat on me before, so I can’t give you much advice. I just want to let you know that you’re so strong❤️. You’re doing amazing, don’t let this scrote dull the light that shines within you.

NoOrdinaryLifeXO · 2021-09-05T09:33:16+00:00

Focus on yourself.

My ex did this to me and we had two children together. I actually felt liberated when he finally left.

I got back into my old hobbies and things that made me happy.

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Title	How did you help yourself to mentally get over your LVX/NVX cheating?
Author	arnezuara
Upvotes	187
Comments	37
Date	September 5, 2021 1:13 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/pi3mp9/how_did_you_help_yourself_to_mentally_get_over/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/how-did-you-help-yourself-to-mentally-get-over.1066833 https://theredarchive.com/post/1066833

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